Author Topic: The Anti- Oven Mitt Story (Read 5673 times)

Alucard · « **on:** December 22, 2003, 01:02:26 PM »

I'm sure you all know the rules:

One day over at Arby's, the Oven Mitt decided he wanted to try the new Roast Beef sandwitch.

Oven Mitt: Hey, Ted! Hurry up with that sandwitch, already! You idiot!

Oven Mitt always tortured Ted. Ted decided "enough was enough! That mutha fudge cake is goi'n down!"

So, right before he gave Oven Mitt the sandwitch, he placed some motion sensor bombs in it. Oven Mitt then took a bite.

Oven Mitt: Mmm, hey, your not bad for a retard, Ted.

Then, the Oven Mitt exploded! Ted and the other workers over at Arby's were celebrating.

Everyone: Ding dong, the Mitt is dead!

Ted: I didn't even have to cut off his head!

Everyone: Ding dong, the evil Mitt is dead!

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I liked it when I got to see Peach''s pink panties in Super Smash Bros. Melee! HABOOYAYUH!

Alucard · « **Reply #1 on:** December 23, 2003, 04:23:53 PM »

Wow. I did not know you all liked the oven mitt.

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I liked it when I got to see Peach''s pink panties in Super Smash Bros. Melee! HABOOYAYUH!

GiftedGirl · « **Reply #2 on:** December 24, 2003, 10:25:15 AM »

My mom likes Oven Mitt, but I think he's STUPID!!!

Is this the North Pole? I''m looking for Santa.

Alucard · « **Reply #3 on:** December 26, 2003, 08:03:32 AM »

Then, make an anti story of him. Fwa ha ha ha ha!

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I liked it when I got to see Peach''s pink panties in Super Smash Bros. Melee! HABOOYAYUH!

Jman · « **Reply #4 on:** December 26, 2003, 11:37:20 AM »

I've dedicated a whole section of my upcoming website to Anti Oven Mitt. You're right, Alucard. This thread is gonna keep me out of the Anti Pokemon thread forever.

Now for a story: The story of Oven mitt's demise.

One night, the Arby's crew were filming a new Oven Mitt commercial. But what Oven Mitt didn't know, is that this was the last commercial he would ever be in. It was the commercial where he flies out the window at the end, with some sick twists to it.

They edited half the commercial to have Oven Mitt insult the two employees in the place at closing time. You know how this one goes. But the twist is that Oven Mitt flies off of the guy's hand, and when they go in reverse to look for him, they run him over several times. Then Ted finally finds him, calls him an explicit name, and throws him off a bridge, into the river below.

So oven Mitt is flatter that a sheet of paper now. But when he finally stretches out again, he is headed toward a river mill (Or whatever they call the places on the rivers where logs travel to get sawed up.) Oven Mitt is shredded into a million little shards, and Ted laughed.

The end.

Proud to be an American!

nintendofreak · « **Reply #5 on:** December 26, 2003, 07:36:38 PM »

Gimme a link to your site by e-mail when it's finished, Jman. My e-mail adress is gamefan9@msn.com

Edited by - nintendofreak on 12/26/2003 5:37:50 PM

Jman · « **Reply #6 on:** December 27, 2003, 09:20:13 AM »

Here's another one.

Tales of the Oven Mitt part 1: Oven Mitt returns from the dead!

It had been a year long celebration for Ted and all the other people involved with Arbys. For the Oven Mitt had died on this day exactly 365 days ago. Ted was still talking about when Oven Mitt got sawed into little pieces by the saw in the mill on the river. "It was the best day of my life!" He said. The Oven Mitt tortured Ted every day of his life, insulting him, heck, even insulting his mama. Ted had decided that all would change. Especially after Ted's mama was called ,well I can't tell you, by Oven Mitt.

Anyway, down at the river, a mysterious figure recovered all of Oven Mitt's pieces, and took them back to his laboratory. It was Mandark, Dexter's rival from Dexter's Laboratory. He wanted Oven Mitt to rule again because he was his biggest fan. Yep folks, Mandark was a loser!

Soon, he had Oven Mitt taped back together. So the accursed mitt came back to life. "Oven Mitt! It's me Mandark! I'm your biggest fan!" Mandark said. "Give me a sandwich you idiot!" Oven Mit yelled. Mandark tossed Oven mitt out the door saying : "No one who calls me names gets any of MY food!"

So Oven Mitt soon showed up at Arbys. He knocked on the door. Ted opened it, and gasped, then he cursed to himself, then he stared coldly at the stupid glove.

"Ted." Oven Mitt coldly said. "Oven Mitt" Ted whispered coldly.

And now you know, the rest of the story.

Jman · « **Reply #7 on:** December 29, 2003, 01:51:05 PM »

Tales of the Oven Mitt presents:

Oven Mitt returns from the dead part 2!

Last time, Ted and the rest of the crew were in the process of having a year long celebration of Oven Mitt's death. Down at the river where his death occurred exactly a year ago that day, Oven Mitt's pieces were recovered by that loser Mandark from Dexter's Lab. Mandark brought Oven Mitt back to life, but then tossed him out the door after being called an idiot. Oven Mitt showed up crashing the celebration of his own death, and coldly stared down Ted. And that's where we continue our story.

"Ted, you no good idiot! You threw a party when I died?" Oven Mitt asked his least favorite member of the Arby's crew.

"Yeah," Ted said coldly. "Now leave, so we can get back to mocking you!"

Oven Mitt could hardly believe it. Ted had outsmarted him. The fact was, Ted was smarter than Oven Mitt. Oven Mitt had been embarrassed by Ted and Dave on the commercial, and then killed afterward. Well, Oven Mitt couldn't stand it any longer!

"You just wait and see! I will be back! And then, you'll all bow down to me! Mua hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!" Oven Mitt said, laughing maniacally at the end.

So, Oven mitt turned to leave, but then he was stepped on by Ted. Ted picked him up.

"You're not going anywhere!" He said.
Oven Mitt had been outfoxed by the Arbys crew. Now, don't think I'm calling the Arbys people idiots, I'm just saying they found a way to break the evil spell Oven Mitt cast on them.

For some reason, the spell wore off on Ted and Dave. Maybe because they realized, "Hey, this is just some stupid brain fart plan that will kill the Arbys business if we don't stop it!"

The torture for Oven Mitt had begun. First, the Arbys employee stomp. Everyone had to stomp on Oven Mitt until he was a pancake!

We will be back with torture methods 2, 3 and 4 when "Oven Mitt's return" continues with part 3!

(The reason is because number 2 goes into long detail, and this would have been too long of a post otherwise.)

And now you know, the rest of the story.

Jman · « **Reply #8 on:** January 01, 2004, 01:43:03 PM »

My next Anti Oven Mitt story is coming soon!

And now you know, the rest of the story.

Jman · « **Reply #9 on:** January 05, 2004, 07:59:53 PM »

Man! I had a really good story, and then I screwed up!

Let's continue this.
This chapter is going to be relatively short.
Return of the Oven Mitt part 3: Torture till you die!

Oven Mitt was exhausted after being flattened by the "Arbys employee stomp."
"What's the matter Oven mitt?" Ted said. "Tired? If you were a true mitt, you wouldn't even break a sweat after 1223 sandwiches."

"Shut your mouth, Ted!" Oven Mitt said.

"Hey Oven Mitt! They've got a class for overweight gloves at YMCA!!!" Ted said. Ted was mocking Oven Mitt, and Oven Mitt didn't like it.

"I know! Let's make some more sandwiches.

It was time to film the next commercial.
"Gasp, gasp, gasp." Oven Mitt was catching his breath. "Come on Oven Mitt. We've got a lot of sandwiches to make today." Dave said. "Will it never end?" Oven Mitt yelled to the high heavens. The commercial was over. But the torture continued. Oven Mitt was on Ted's hand. Right when Ted was lifting a sandwich out of the oven, Oven Mitt slipped off of his hand. Ted got burned by the oven.

But rather than kill Oven Mitt, Ted brought Mario and Luigi to do the job. They pummeled Oven Mitt with fireballs until he started on fire. Then, they backed him into the furnace, and set it on high.

In just a few minutes, Oven Mitt was black and crispy, and ready to be thrown away. But they didn't even have to do that. Because when they pulled him out, he crumbled to dust. "Well, hopefully that's the last we'll see of Oven Mitt!" Ted said.

After that, Ted and Dave became Arbys mascots. The end.

Now keep in mind this story takes place at the very end of Oven mitt's career. All other stories I write will take place before this one.

And now you know, the rest of the story.

Jman · « **Reply #10 on:** January 06, 2004, 07:38:08 PM »

And so ends my three part story, "Return of the Oven Mitt. How'd you like it?

And now you know, the rest of the story.

Jman · « **Reply #11 on:** January 16, 2004, 01:07:44 PM »

One day, when Oven Mitt was swimming in the Atlantic Ocean in Miami, he was overtaken by a strong undertow. He drifted out to deep sea, where he was shredded by a shark.
THE END.

And now you know, the rest of the story.

MarioBro64 · « **Reply #12 on:** January 18, 2004, 09:03:05 PM »

The "Stooped" Oven-mitt had gotten left on the stove...
Mitt: HURRY UP!! I'm bored!
Ted: Muahahahaha!!! *secretly turns oven on full blast*
Mitt: I sure am hot... *Engulfs in flames* ARRRRRRGHHHH!!!!!!! *dies*
Ted: That was easy *leans on stove* Hehehe... ARGH! MY HAND ARRRRRRRGGGHHHHH!!!!

The stupid End!!!!11!!1!

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"*cough!*... I think I peed..."-Me with the Stomach Virus

Jman · « **Reply #13 on:** January 27, 2004, 07:39:49 PM »

The Anti Oven Mitt founder is back!

What in the name of fried chicken is he doing now?

GiftedGirl · « **Reply #14 on:** March 03, 2004, 08:05:32 PM »

GIFTEDGIRL'S ENCOUNTER WITH THE OVEN MITT PART 1

Once there was a girl named J------. She called herself GiftedGirl. One day a box came to her house in Fakesville, Foney Island. It was full of... OVEN MITT MERCHANDISE!!!(Dun dun duuuun!) She asked her mother why the evil artifacts were on her doorstep. Her mother replyed that she had ordered the unmentionables from the Web. GiftedGirl had to do something to stop this evilness! So she grabbed the Oven Mitt stuffs and ran off to do her deed.

TO BE CONTINUED...

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*please sing my sig*

Hakuna Matata! What a wonderful phrase! Hakuna Matata! Ain''t no passin'' craze! It means "no worries" for the rest of your days! It''s our problem free philosophy! Hakuna Matata!

GiftedGirl · « **Reply #15 on:** March 03, 2004, 08:18:04 PM »

GIFTEDGIRL'S ENCOUNTER WITH THE OVEN MITT PART 2

First she would mess with the Oven Mitt beanie toy. She grabbed her favorite scissors and cut open the cloth, beans spilling onto the floor where they lay in agony. Next came the Oven Mitt magnet. She de-magnetized it and jammed it in her old Game Boy Color. Then was the Oven Mitt itself.(Yes, they DO make real Oven Mitts that you can use. Who knew?) She teased her dog Tidbit with it, then threw it into his pen. She was delighted when she heard ripping cloth and pleasure whines from his area. When she was done, she got grounded for a month but it was all worth it.

NOTE: This is a true story. Really.

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*please sing my sig*

Hakuna Matata! What a wonderful phrase! Hakuna Matata! Ain''t no passin'' craze! It means "no worries" for the rest of your days! It''s our problem free philosophy! Hakuna Matata!

Edited by - GiftedGirl on 3/3/2004 6:20:54 PM

GiftedGirl · « **Reply #16 on:** March 03, 2004, 08:25:10 PM »

Anyone here to read my story(s)?

----------------------------------------------------------
*please sing my sig*

Hakuna Matata! What a wonderful phrase! Hakuna Matata! Ain''t no passin'' craze! It means "no worries" for the rest of your days! It''s our problem free philosophy! Hakuna Matata!

GiftedGirl · « **Reply #17 on:** March 04, 2004, 02:09:53 PM »

I guess not.

----------------------------------------------------------
*please sing my sig*

Hakuna Matata! What a wonderful phrase! Hakuna Matata! Ain''t no passin'' craze! It means "no worries" for the rest of your days! It''s our problem free philosophy! Hakuna Matata!

GiftedGirl · « **Reply #18 on:** March 05, 2004, 07:12:49 AM »

WHERE IS EVERYBODY?!?

----------------------------------------------------------
*please sing my sig*

Hakuna Matata! What a wonderful phrase! Hakuna Matata! Ain''t no passin'' craze! It means "no worries" for the rest of your days! It''s our problem free philosophy! Hakuna Matata!

Jman · « **Reply #19 on:** March 07, 2004, 06:51:56 PM »

I think the era of the stupid mascots is over. I have not seen the Quiznos rats for 8 days, I have not seen Oven Mitt for 5 days, but there is that annoying Subway commercial with the farm animals singing "Buffalo gal won't you come out tonight?" And there is the "I'm loving it" commercials, which I have learned to tolerate.

I tell you this... *mind goes blank* I forgot my line!

MarioBro64 · « **Reply #20 on:** March 09, 2004, 06:50:46 PM »

LOL! Gifted girl, that second part made me laugh! And I saw the Quisno commercial 3 days ago. THE QUIZNO SUBS!!!!!!

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Do not disturb, that''s my job!

Alucard · « **Reply #21 on:** March 11, 2004, 08:31:45 AM »

Actually, they just made a new Arby's commercial. And yes, that stupid mitt IS in them.

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I can change. Seriously!

MarioBro64 · « **Reply #22 on:** March 11, 2004, 12:27:05 PM »

*EEEP EEEP EEEP DUN-NUNUNUUUUH!!!!!**Scream from background*

CURSE YOU OVENMIT! *Stabs it repeatedly*

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10 out of 9 kids are STUPID! I''m that 9th one!

GiftedGirl · « **Reply #23 on:** March 21, 2004, 02:02:00 PM »

Thank you MarioBro64. I am glad I have reached my full potential as a person by making you laugh.

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Solrock and Lunatone. Now that there''s a good combination.

Jman · « **Reply #24 on:** March 21, 2004, 04:45:39 PM »

Cranky: Donkey Kong vs Oven Mitt! DK with a massive powerbomb! And another! Now he throws Oven Mitt into the corner! Oh man! Banzai drop! That's it! 1,2,3! DK defeats Oven Mitt with ease!

I tell you this... *mind goes blank* I forgot my line!

n/a · « **Reply #25 on:** March 21, 2004, 05:20:36 PM »

Ahem! Cranky can't talk, remëmber?

______________________
IBM: Inferior But Marketable

GiftedGirl · « **Reply #26 on:** March 25, 2004, 05:56:49 PM »

This is the lost episode of Ultamite Muscle where Kid Muscle beats up the Oven Mitt.(also the shortest episode) Enjoy!

Ultamite Muscle Chojin Crown presents...

KID MUSCLE vs OVEN MITT!

CHEEKS: Bonjour! Miseor(<--is that spelled right?) Cheeks here with ze latest news on ze Chojin Crown! In ze last match Kid made a stunning victory, no ands, ifs or BUTS about it! Now ze Kid must kick ze butt of ze Oven Mitt to go on to ze Chojin Crown finals! Who will win? Let's get to ze bottom of it and find out!

MEAT: He may be a glove but don't let your guard down Kid.

KID: I'll kick his butt without even doing the Muscle Milenium!

OV: You goin down!

KID: I don't think so! *kicks OV's butt*

MEAT: You won! Yay!

The End!

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"For the people of this planet, I promise you... REVENGE!" --Shadow, Sonic Adventure 2 Battle, Radical Highway opening movie

Edited by - GiftedGirl on 3/25/2004 3:58:44 PM