Weird stuff written in our notebooks

[CrossEyed7]

I'll start.

How can a pessimist call himself a pessimist? Wouldn't any genuine optimist or pessimist just consider himself a realist?

The wedding went off without a hitch.

I want to make an RPG that uses only the space bar. No mouse, no arrow keys, just the spacebar.

Someone should use Sixpence None The Richer's (or whoever did that song) "There She Goes Again" for an incontinence commercial.

A transcript of my brother and sister playing chess:

S: Can you only move diagonally when you jump?
B: Yeah.
S: [moves vertically]
B: You can't do that.
S: You said you can only move diagonally when you jump!
B: Right; when you jump, you can only move diagonally. You can also only move diagonally the rest of the time.
S: Oh. [moves back]
B: You can't do that.
S: I can't move backward?
B: Not until you're kinged.
S: Oh.
B: You have to take that jump.
S: No I don't!

If Zelda is an RPG, so is Metroid. Real-time combat, exploring a continuous overworld, collect weapons and upgrades (including upgrades to HP) and combat skills.

"Yeah, stool softeners make it easier to go. Then you spend half an hour trying to wipe up that sticky mess. Hard stools build character, my boy son. Besides, you know what else makes it easier to go? Effing diarrhea, boy! Would you take a medicine to give yourself diarrhea? No! You'd take something to get rid of it! Because you're weak!"

i have blood on my hands and i dont know why

When I get my own house, every trash can is going to be the kind you open with a foot pedal.

I saw an open box of chicken nuggets in the room. I couldn't remember if I had smelled them in there before or not. I said to myself, "Ah, I thought I smelled... wait, did I? I think I thought I smelled them..."

[Lizard Dude]

First two are great, and the next to last.

I don't have much to share in this thread, though, because the stuff I write down I want to, you know, actually use instead of just spewing onto a list in a thread. But it's mostly just personal reminders anyway.

I do see here a cryptic reference to The Vance Stance, and also Édith Piaf (probably unrelated).

[Glorb]

From a math notebook of mine that I used to chat it up back in 11th grade (girl in italics, me not so much)

i HATE her
who, Samantha? [Ed. note - Samantha was a girl that I had previously gone out with that the girl I was talking to hated; I forget the name of the girl with which this conversation was held]
well yea but i mean HER [drawing of arrow pointing toward one end of room]
Stephanie?
well yea but no, i mean mrs salsbury [Ed. note - I remember thinking very long and hard as to who this could be]
that's not our teacher
i know but i just hate her
but who is she
doesnt matter i ****ing hate her, duh [angry face, both on paper and in real life]
but shes not our teacher
yea, i know...
so whats with the arrow
IT DOESNT MATTER I JUST HATE HER

[Weegee]

"Yeah, stool softeners make it easier to go. Then you spend half an hour trying to wipe up that sticky mess. Hard stools build character, my boy son. Besides, you know what else makes it easier to go? Effing diarrhea, boy! Would you take a medicine to give yourself diarrhea? No! You'd take something to get rid of it! Because you're weak!"

That's, like, my life philosophy. Anyone who claims that an iron-rich diet isn't worth the resulting constipation simply hasn't tried Cocoa Rice Krispies.

[ShadowBrain]

I was really psyched when I saw this thread, but I'm worried that since most of my jotting-downs are philosophical musings, made-up words, and story ideas, I'm tempted to save them for a blog/Grapefruit-esque book/anything, out of paranoia that someone will steal my ideas.

...So I guess I'll just put down some stuff, potential dissemination of my hitherto unshared brain droppings be [darn]ed. Just remember--you saw it here first!

"INS: Putting the 'Panic' in 'Hispanic'"
"'Electrick'"
"Bonjou = Good juice!"
"There is a massive glasses-related conspiracy!"
"Soulja Catapiller"
"Wear a bathrobe if you're going to shoot up a spa?"
"The funny factory got outsourced"
"...And I came up with all this without doing drugs."

[Toad]

Diet Black Cherry Cherry Vannila Coke Zero Plus with Lemon with Lime with Splenda Caffeine Free

[Turtlekid1]

I was really psyched when I saw this thread, but I'm worried that since most of my jotting-downs are philosophical musings, made-up words, and story ideas, I'm tempted to save them for a blog/Grapefruit-esque book/anything, out of paranoia that someone will steal my ideas.

Your ideas are probably more likely to be stolen off a blog than this board, methinks, since none of the members here would steal them, and all the guests are busy looking at the Mario Kart Wii coloring pages.

[ShadowBrain]

Heh, true.

"'Soon to be a minor motion picture'"
"Sexclamation"
"More buttons than a Japanese typewriter"
"Footnote in the book of love"
"Chronillogical"

[superstarMASIAH]

How much wood could a wood-chuck, chuck?

A wood-chuck, would chuck as much wood as a wood-chuck could chuck.  If a wood-chuck could chuck wood....

[superstarMASIAH]

oh yeah.

i just found a quote from my bio teacher I wrote down when I could not stop laughing histarically in class.

"Kyle your gonna have to calm down or go stand out in the hallway until you gather yourself, MmKay?"- Mr. Wiley (I wrote this down in my notebook after I was able to "gather" myself, because I knew I would never laugh as hard ever again)

Needless to say this didn't do anything to calm me down, but did the exact opposite by dramatically increasing it in volume.  Not only did he say it like Mr. Mackey from South Park, but it sounded that way too.  I almost died.

Then another one from his class... (me only trying to be a smart-ass)-

Me (not serious at all): "But Mr. Wiley.  What does sperm taste like?"

Mr. Wiley (serious):"Well Kyle, that is a good question, some may taste sugary compared to others that may taste salty.  It all depends on the subjects diet."

Me (still not serious, but in a serious tone): "Will this be on the final?"

[penguinwizard]

Before you go buying the latest Pokemon game or what have you, think about how long it will last, how replayable it is, and above all, fun. Sometimes a game doesn't need eye candy to be a sure winner. Sometimes waiting out that game would bring a better one later, and you won't have a hundred cartridges.
[something I don't practice myself, and to paraphrase Nintendo, waiting for the next big system means missing out on a bunch of great games now. Who said having a hundred cartridges is a bad thing?]

Just as good can prevail and sometimes lose the battle but never the war, evil is just as capable.
[I think what I meant to say is "good and evil will always exist", but I made it sound like evil can kick our butts just as well]

Everyone's beliefs are right in their own way. So then it's up to you whether to believe me or not.

Viewtiful Stoat!

When in doubt, pogo-tail your way out!

Walk like a Bobcatian...

Look Ma, I conduct electricity!

Starcade 1983
"Why is it whenever I hear Kevin, I get that sinking feeling"
[for context, it's the host of a show snarking back at the announcer, Kevin]

Yes, but where is Princess Sunner?

Bob, I don't think we're in New Jersey anymore!

Walking the fine line between pointless and something else.

Because I'm a sucker for forest worlds.

Elusive leveret

(some other guy): I knew 99% of it, I didn't know the other 1%.
Me: The 1% was known as common sense.

[Pt_Peach]

A friend with weed is a friend indeed.

Pass me some, mkay?

[PghPens]

I used to play the baseball game on my TI-83 calculator all the time. Somewhere I have an entire notebook of game details--I had a fictional team and would keep score during class or study hall.

My favorite though is from my first grade phonics book (yes, I still have it). One of the words was "hut" when we were studying short "u"s. I had written the word "pizza" on it.

For an example from a test, we were once asked what the "holy grail of chemistry" was on a test. This was from a sidebar in the text that I didn't know we needed to know (it was the first test of the year). I had no idea what to put for the answer so I wrote "Monty Python". The teacher wrote "funny" next to it, but marked it wrong. (For the record, there is no holy grail of chemistry, at least according to our text--I'll never forget that after missing that one with such a far-out answer).

[Chupperson Weird]

Did they expect people to write the philosopher's stone or something?

[Turtlekid1]

That's the Holy Grail of alchemy. 

(For the record, there is no holy grail of chemistry, at least according to our text--I'll never forget that after missing that one with such a far-out answer).

Evidently, it was a trick question.

But none of that matters because holy crap it's PghPens.