Author Topic: The ANGST thread: Complain here! (Read 1711763 times)

PaperLuigi · « **Reply #5700 on:** June 28, 2009, 11:22:23 AM »

It's a conspiracy. Vince Offer choked Billy to death with a ShamWow towel and then chopped up his body with a Slap Chop.

nensondubois · « **Reply #5701 on:** June 28, 2009, 12:45:16 PM »

It's a conspiracy by the Freemason ran government making the "stars fall" which means it will soon be the end for everyone or at least 6 million survivors so we should do something to stop it.

CrossEyed7 · « **Reply #5702 on:** June 28, 2009, 01:12:05 PM »

[darnit], why are all the cool people dying? Ed McMahon, MJ, Farah Fawcett, Billy Mays, Kutner... I blame Obama. 2009 sucks.

Turtlekid1 · « **Reply #5703 on:** June 28, 2009, 04:19:54 PM »

Kutner... from House?

Actually, you really can blame Obama for him, because the actor that plays Kutner went to work as Associate Director of the White House Office of Public Liaison.

Luigalaxy · « **Reply #5704 on:** June 28, 2009, 04:39:58 PM »

Quote from: Weegee on June 25, 2009, 08:12:11 PM

On behalf of myself and others who have yet to say so, our condolences.

^ @Pt. Peach.

Wait, Billy Mays died? :/

nensondubois · « **Reply #5705 on:** June 28, 2009, 05:02:25 PM »

Quote from: Turtlekid1 on June 28, 2009, 04:19:54 PM

Kutner... from House?

Actually, you really can blame Obama for him, because the actor that plays Kutner went to work as Associate Director of the White House Office of Public Liaison.

I was ****ed when he died. i missed the episode where they explained it so I don't know how he died. Obama sucks everything into Oblivion.

Turtlekid1 · « **Reply #5706 on:** June 28, 2009, 06:11:24 PM »

It was suicide.

CrossEyed7 · « **Reply #5707 on:** June 28, 2009, 06:13:54 PM »

I'm pretty sure it's still on Hulu.

Weegee · « **Reply #5708 on:** June 28, 2009, 07:20:27 PM »

Does anyone else wonder if Billy Mays' entire funeral will be yelled? Or if other notable infomercial spokespersons will attend? Or if his relatives speak with a similar demeanor to himself? It's pretty easily imaginable, really...

"HI! HERBERT MAYS HERE FOR BILLY MAYS' EULOGY. ALTHOUGH THE MAN MAY BE GONE, HIS PRODUCTS ARE CERTAINLY NOT. IN FACT, BILLY HAS A SPECIAL, POSTMORTAL DEAL FOR EVERYONE ATTENDING OR WATCHING, RIGHT NOW: IF YOU ORDER A BOTTLE OF OXICLEAN WITHIN THE NEXT FIVE MINUTES, WE'LL THROW IN AN AUTHENTIC STRAND OF BILLY'S HAIR, YOURS ABSOLUTELY FREE WITH THIS SPECIAL TV OFFER! JUST PAY SHIPPING AND HANDLING EXTRA. SPEAKING OF "OFFER", BILLY'S CLOSE FRIEND AND FELLOW PITCH SALESMAN, VINCE, WOULD LIKE TO SHARE A FEW WORDS."

"Hey. Vince here with Billy Mays' extended family, here to mourn the loss and remember the legacy of one of the greatest salespeople ever to sell mediocre cleaning agents to the television-watching public. You know, occasions like this can really bring a tear to one's eye. What better to dry your tears with than this here ShamWow? It's like a handkerchief, it's like a tissue, it's like a sponge. Look! Just like that, the tears, along with any other bodily fluids in the surrounding area, are virtually gone. Why enbalm your loved ones the old-fashioned way when you can mummify them in one of these new, plus-sized ShamWows? It's made in Germany; you know the Germans always make good ~~World Wars~~ stuff. The new ShamWow XXL is just $29.95! Order yours today!

If there's one thing I knew for sure about Billy, it's that he loved my nuts. He had me saying "Wow!" every time. Thanks."

Pt_Peach · « **Reply #5709 on:** June 28, 2009, 09:01:16 PM »

To quote myself, celebrities are dropping like flies.

ShadowBrain · « **Reply #5710 on:** June 28, 2009, 11:05:41 PM »

Anybody ever actually seen a fly drop?

Chupperson Weird · « **Reply #5711 on:** June 28, 2009, 11:07:56 PM »

I saw one land on the floor, crawl awhile, and die of old age...

Glorb · « **Reply #5712 on:** June 29, 2009, 07:48:15 AM »

Vince would probably berate the audience for not attending in larger numbers.

Luigison · « **Reply #5713 on:** June 29, 2009, 08:20:35 AM »

Quote from: ShadowBrain on June 28, 2009, 11:05:41 PM

Anybody ever actually seen a fly drop?

Does this count?

Weegee · « **Reply #5714 on:** June 29, 2009, 08:09:31 PM »

Well, our computer just came in from another maintenance session, and it turns out that half of our programs were FUBAR'd. My 1100-song iTunes collection is thankfully intact, although the connection between iTunes and my iPod has gone haywire, resulting in the inexplicable loss of several dozen tracks on the unit itself, not to mention my play counts, playlists and ratings. Of course, considering what else could've happened, I probably should be more grateful for Bob the Computer Guy's services than I am.