Warning: the following stuff that you are about to read could possibly be the dumbest and worst thing ever to hit this site, and may not be suitable for people who have no sense of humor or take things way too seriously. Turn back now or face the possibility of losing your entire mind faster than you can even scream. Everyone else... I hope you enjoy.
Hello, agent letter-number-number, and welcome to Operation Unpossible! I’m sure that you are curious as to what the Dukar I am talking about here. Well this has nothing to do with Mission Impossible, which coincidently has a name that’s similar to this. Here you make up very difficult and crazy operations you must solve and then tell how you accomplish them in every detail, but you do them in absurd and crazy ways that most people wouldn't. I got this idea from two of my weird friends awhile back who made up many stupid operations in a note book and wrote down how they did them. Some of them included things like operation steal Hitler’s mustache, operation steal the devil’s pitch fork, operation steal the state team’s mascot, and operation get the rabbit some trix (lot of stealing going on). These were all pretty funny and I soon decided to make my own operation, and I’ll show it below. You probably won’t find this really that funny if at all, but I think it kind of is sorta (just remember not to take it too seriously or you might get mad :)). After this feel free to create your own adventures and discover for yourself that the unpossible can actually be possible! *plays M:I music*
OPERATION #27009: FIND AND CAPTURE BIN LADEN!!!
Supplies: This could be one of our most hardest and dangerous plans we have ever thunk of so we will need lots of stuff. Too much stuff to mention right now.
Plan A: First we (my friend and I) shall go to the bank and get money to buy some things. Namely— lots of roller skates, lots of spotlights, lots of pet carriers, lots of people with too much time on their hands, lots of body armor, lots and lots of ice cream and ice cream men, and two police dogs. Before we can use all of the wonderful thingss, we will take the two police dogs and bring them along with us in our time machine that we used to steal Hitler’s mustache. We will go to the future, where Bin Laden will be out from hiding and out in the open. He will be ruling over America at this point and should be very easy to find. So, we shall use some technology that freezes time and we will sneak into his castle (the White House reconstructed) and will run around the place until we find Laden. Then we will tell the dogs to sniff him. If them don’t obey we’ll simply shove them into him and tell them to smell. With the scent on their noses we shall return to the past with the police dogs in our time machine.
Next we will drink some more smartness juice that we invented and create a cloning machine for the police dogs. We’ll make thousands of dogs that look and think just like the first two, and also have the scent of Bin Laden in their noses. We’ll also genetically enhance them so they can run super fast and smell things really really good (note: do not eat beans during this time period). Now we shall use the plane tickets to fly to Iraq or wherever it was, with all the people who have too much time on their hands, and also put all the police dogs in the pet carriers. The ice cream men, on the other hand, will drive their ice cream trucks onto a ship and meet us there later. This will take a long time but it will be worth it. Next, when we are all in Iraq, me and my friend shall put on our roller skates and hold the leashes to the dogs, and then tell the people to do the exact same thing. Then we’ll also tell them to put on the body armor and strap the spotlights to their heads, face them forwards, and turn them on. Soon it will be show time.
On my signal, I will blow a whistle and the dogs will take off, pulling me, my friend, and all the slackers around Iraq in random locations while we follow closely behind on roller skates. Each dog will run very fast but keep sniffing the entire time to search for our friend. The spotlights will warn people that we are coming so they can get out of the way quickly. The body armor will protect us from crashing and also from crazy terrorists or Americans who want to shoot us for no good reason/accidently. While everyone zooms around Iraq, with some also exploring underground, the ice cream men will soon show up on the boat for backup and will drive their trucks around while playing happy music. This music, which every single human, animal, and plant will immediately recognize from their God-given built-in ice cream music sense, will help to lure people out of their homes and caves for “free†ice cream. Hopefully Bin Laden will not be able to resist the temptation of sweet, chocolately frozen goodness and will come running out right into our nets. If he doesn’t come out from that, and the dogs don’t find him, and the whole entire day has gone by without the slightest sign of the guy, we’ll take a break and sleep until tomorrow. In the morning, we’ll try again.
Eventually (hopefully) someone will find Bin Laden and we shall all rejoice and then bring him to America and get big fat pay checks. We will tell him to stop doing terrible things, and threaten to throw him in jail if he doesn’t (actually we’ll throw him in jail either way, but lying can help sometimes). We will become rich and famous and everyone will forgive us for the terrible things we did before. I hope.
Plan B: We hire a million bored teenagers to wander around Iraq and find Bin Laden.
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Now it’s your turn! Your operation doesn’t have to be as long as this or as stupid. Just be kreative!
"Do you got a mullet goin’ on?"
