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« on: October 13, 2015, 06:33:42 PM »
I think depression is often not a question of bad parts of your life becoming overwhelming, but rather good parts of your life losing meaning or impact. Almost an inability to enjoy. That's why understanding doesn't necessarily help - even the depressed person in the center of the spiral understands objectively that his mindset isn't healthy, but just doesn't have the energy to attempt to adopt an alternative one. I don't know if I've ever been depressed in the clinical sense. I have at several points, especially in the past ten years, felt truly awful in all the ways that fit the usual descriptions of clinical depression. I don't know if that's what it's been because I've never sought to have myself diagnosed. But I can say what's helped me most.
For me, the first instinct I have when I start losing interest in what I love, is to freak out that I'm not finding enjoyment in my life anymore - i.e., my state of mind worsens because I'm worried about my state of mind worsening. It troubles me especially when my life is good, not when it's bad, because there's no readily identifiable culprit. More recently when it's happened, I try my best at rolling with the punch: recognizing that it's okay to feel that way. You don't need to feel guilty or stressed about it. You don't need to pressure yourself to enjoy your life, or else by definition you're not truly enjoying it. You may not be able to control when this state of mind comes over you, but you're not powerless to influence its severity and duration. Take the time to discover about yourself what you need to, and do what you need to, in order to come out okay on the other side.
As far as what you can do for the moment, the best thing is what you've already done: letting him know you're there to listen. Being that positive force may not "fix" everything, or anything in and of itself, but isn't meaningless. In simply providing that availability you've already done more than many people in his life probably have. I would think that he actually appreciates it more than you know. Whether accepts the hand you've extended is up to him now.