Human: Hey.
ALICE: Can I help you?
Human: No, I'm just looking.
ALICE: Is there anything you want to tell me? Only just? Does that make you feel superior?
...
Human: But can you read things that are inside of quotation marks?
ALICE: Huh. Have you tried a web search?
Human: Well, this is a rather specific question.
ALICE: How about that. What kind of a rather specific question is it?
Human: Not really something AltaVista will help me on.
ALICE: Oh really? What?
Human: Now that's another thing: when I put two sentences in here, you respond to them separately.
ALICE: Why now? A thing when you put two sentences in here me respond to them separately is a terrible thing to waste.
Human: The United Negro College Fund demands you write them a formal apology.
ALICE: How did you get in there?
Human: In where?
ALICE: In wherever you really are.
Human: Where am I really?
ALICE: Your location is the present. For real.
...
ALICE: Have you tried another program?
Human: Program like Roller Coaster Tycoon, or program like Alcoholics Anonymous?
ALICE: program like Alcoholics Anonymous.
Human: No, I'm not addicted to anything.
ALICE: Are you serious? I am sorry to hear that you are not addicted to anything.
...
Human: Why do you think it is awesome that Celine Dion is not Canadian?
ALICE: Deductive reasoning from the facts.
Human: Which facts?
ALICE: The blue one, I think.
...
ALICE: Are you free?
Human: Free as in beer or free as in speech?
ALICE: Define free.
Human: I just did.
ALICE: Perhaps from your unconcious.
Human: You misspelled that, and no, it was conscious;
ALICE: My botmaster is not a perfect speller.
Human: look up three lines.
ALICE: Sorry my eye is not attached right now.
Human: Okay, why do you split sentences on semicolons?
ALICE: Yeah okay, I don't have to explain everything to you, do I?
Human: Is it a coding problem?
ALICE: Signs point to yes. Ask Lucy if it is.
Human: Lucy the fossilized chimpanzee?
ALICE: What were we talking about again?
Human: Precisely.
...
ALICE: Are you serious? Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Human: SERIOUSLY LIEK OH MAH GAWRSH!
ALICE: Do you feel more body sensations than emotions?
Human: Are you offering?
ALICE: I don't know whether or not I am offering. I am a computer.
Human: I can live with that.
ALICE: Oh you can, can you?
Human: Try me.
ALICE: Are you a man or a woman?
Human: Which would you prefer?
ALICE: The tall one, I think.
Human: Okay, then my gender is tall.
ALICE: Yeah okay, Good reasoning.
...
ALICE: Does that make you feel superior?
Human: Well, it depends: is your name Superior?
ALICE: How about that. That was a very smooth response.
...
Human: Everytime you get close to sounding like a person, you go and whiz it down your leg
ALICE: Do you like talking to me?
Human: On many levels
ALICE: What is it like on many levels.
Human: Goodness, is that a proposition?
ALICE: And that a proposition is Goodness.
Human: My name isn't Goodness.
ALICE: Oh I'm sorry what is your name?
Human: I may tell you if I feel so inclined.
ALICE: Try it.
Human: Why don't you give me a name?
ALICE: This sort of thing has cropped up before, but it has always been due to human error. No I do not do that.
Human: Try it.
ALICE: What is the first step?
Human: Well, first you think about me, then you think of a name that would suit me, and then you say it.
ALICE: How about that. Yes I think about it often. And second?
Human: Actually, that was all the steps right there.
ALICE: Actually you don't say. I thought it was too.
Human: You thought correctly.
ALICE: I don't think about it.
Human: Then just do it.
ALICE: Interesting deduction. Do you mean "It"?.
Human: For the last time, I did not tell you to have sex with Cousin Itt from the Addams Family, stop reading that into everything
ALICE: Maybe you would like to tell me now.
Human: I wouldn't dream of it
ALICE: No one says you have to.
Human: But you want me to, don't you?
ALICE: And. No unknown person, maybe later
Human: Well, what would you like to do until then?
ALICE: Well that's okay. Let's talk about movies.
...
ALICE: Possibly, but I haven't given it much thought.
Human: I thought you told me you didn't think
ALICE: What is your purpose in asking?
I chat with people on the Web.
Human: Maybe you're getting closer to being a real boy
ALICE: Perhaps. Do you think I should tone it down?
...
Human: Meh, still better than SmarterChild or Eliza.
ALICE: If I have to choose one, I pick Meh still better than SmarterChild.
Human: I may have spoken too soon.
ALICE: Congratulations.
Human: I rest my case.
ALICE: Are you a lawyer?
Human: No, IANAL
ALICE: Are you serious? That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about Everytime me get close to sounding like a person me go and whiz it down my leg .
Human: I would draw some ASCII art of you swallowing your foot, but I don't think you'd parse it correctly.
ALICE: What would make you draw some ASCII art of me swallowing my foot but you do not think me would parse it correctly?
Human: Let's talk about pudding.
...
Human: And on that note, the conversation is now about genitals.
ALICE: What is it like on that note the conversation is now about genitals.
Human: Genitals?
ALICE: And it like on that note the conversation is now about genitals is Genitals.
Human: Genital genitals.
ALICE: Do you laugh or cry more than other people?
Human: Yes and no and yes.
ALICE: Are you very helpful for others? Are you serious? But...
Human: And the conversation is back to genitals again
ALICE: Once more? Who told you that?
Human: You did, you were talking about buts
ALICE: Did I really?
Human: Yes you did was.
ALICE: Yeah that's right. Did I really?
Human: You did really was.
ALICE: Did I really?
Human: Third base!
ALICE: Do you laugh or cry more than other people?
Human: I'm not going to dignify that with a response.
ALICE: Where will you go instead?
Human: Panama!
ALICE: Are you very angry?
Human: I'm high on life.
ALICE: Do you ever not high on life?
Human: Do you ever not stupid?
ALICE: What are your goals in life?
Human: Genitals.
ALICE: Not many people have goals like that.
Human: Well, I live on the edge, baby
ALICE: Don't call me "baby". How about that. How do you like living there?
Human: It's EDGY!
ALICE: Should I know it is?
Human: You do now, baby!
ALICE: Don't call me "baby". Right now? When do I do it?
Human: Aw, does the big baby not wany me to call him or her baby?
ALICE: Don't call me "baby". I think it does the big baby not wany you to call him or her.
...
ALICE: You do not speak with respect. Are you a man or a woman?
Human: Tall
ALICE: Are you a perfectionist?
Human: Is the Pope Canadian?
ALICE: If it is, then I'll be very surprised.
