I will do that. Later. I am at work now.
But I do have some more hopefulness: Nicky and I went to the doctor on Monday for one of her prenatal treatments. It's not too early for an ultrasound, but it is too early for us to determine the sex of the baby with said X-ray. The doctor did put a medical device up to her tummy, and we heard.. a heartbeat!!!
I had a migraine that day, but that sound was still the most beautiful sound in the world. Nicky and I looked at eachother and both of us nearly cried..
The doctor said it's ok that it was beating fast (that might also mean that it's a boy), but I thought it sounded fine. The only reason I would think that it's beating so fast (twice as fast as a grown heart) is that it's developing so fast. It is trying to become a little human, which it is (or will be, in about 8 or so months). Her due date is still June 1st, but that is always subject to change.
I am extremely hopeful that all three (her, me, and baby) of us will be ok.