(insert adjective here) stories

[Yoshisaurus Rex]

When will the bumping madness ever end?!  Not as long as I'm around and there are fun retro topics to bring back.

I’ve got a few stories, some funny, some weird, and... kinda sad I guess (as in pathetic).

Now you're Driving with Power!

Before I got my driver’s license my parents got me a N64 steering wheel from a garage sale to help me practice driving.  I felt really excited at first.  Then I actually started using it and couldn’t stand it.  Now you have to know that my room is super tiny and I share it with my younger brother so there’s not much room to play my games.  So I sat on my bed to the right of the TV and had the wheel in my lap and the pedals on the floor by my feet.  I played Mario Kart 64 and Star Wars Pod Racing (that I borrowed) and tried to control people with it but it was just to difficult for me.  So I ended up giving it away to someone’s used items store and now someone else may be going through what I did.  However I did get my license so it’s okay. (E I):o{D

A Hike With Spike

At camp this summer I rode a horse named Spike and this was the first time I had ridden a horse in a really long time.  At first I was scared like crazy that the horse would just go flying someone and kill me (that's how paranoid I am), but then it got pretty fun.  I just wish that he diddn't have stop to eat plants every few seconds.  I had the only horse that was a PIG!

Donkey Bongo Bozo
When I first got Donkey Konga for Christmas it was really hard for me and didn't make any sense at all.  Come to find out, I had the bongos backwards.

I wish I had time to read all of these stories.  They look interesting.  Maybe I will later.  And speaking of stories, Sapphira, do you plan to ever finish your story or just leave us hanging forever?  I miss Sapphira being here more often.  She and LD are hilarious (and while I type this I can hear Luigi laughing on WTMK from Luigi's Mansion).  Speaking of stories, Sapph, do you plan on ever finish the Prophecy or have you given up on that?

Man, I don't know how to get my titles just one space above the paragraphs without having a space between them.  How did LD do that?

(E I):o{D___(--I I):o(D___(o 8(= P)___(= (:  )@)___(3 I)}:O})+)___<( )=(: )) )

Edited by - Yoshisaurus Rex on 10/23/2005 4:09:56 PM

[smfan1085]

Once, when I was about 11, and back when I lived in Cincinnati, I was supposed to throw a rolled-up wet diaper in the garbage. The garbage can was in the kitchen, and I was in the entryway adjoining the kitchen. I decided to just try to chuck it in from where I was standing. Over the doorway into the kitchen was a gold-colored replica of an ancient Greek mask, once thought to have represented King Agamemnon of Trojan War fame. Anyway, I chucked the diaper, and threw it way too high. It hit "Agamemnon" square in the face. I almost died laughing. Now I sometimes call him "Old Diaper-Face".

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j00r 73h r0x0r, d00d!

[Yoshisaurus Rex]

Heh, that's disgusting.  Well, I finally finished reading all the stories and now I am no longer as big a noob as I was before!  I loved hearing about the history of Dukar, Sapphira going to wrong rooms, that fake story about the gang, and most everything else (and poopy stories are the best).  I think this is one of my favorite topics.

I'm surprised that NE89 had so much trouble with his EMachine.  My computer is an Emachine and it's worked excellent so far.  Maybe in a few months it will start to do crazy things.  And speaking of not wanting to use public restooms, one time at camp the sewage pipes needed to be emptied so people could only use the porta potties.  Since I can’t stand using those filthy things I held my bladder when I had to go.  But after a few hours it really started to hurt so I submitted to beast and won back my unsanitary sanity.

Hey, I remembered yet another story!  But hold on because this story is a little suspenseful.

End of the Rope!

Not very long ago my family went to a fun harvest party that we go to every year at this family's house in the country.  We have hay rides through the woods, lots of great food, huge camp fires, walks in the woods, and plenty of fun with our friends from church.

Well, near the end of the night when it was almost time for me and my brother to leave, I saw a few of my friends running somewhere through the dark and I decided to follow them.  I didn't know what they were up to... until I got there and knew right away.  The rope swing.  The family has a pond behind their house and a large tree over it with a rope tied to a big branch and hanging from it close to land.  My friends love to grab it, swing over part of the pond, and then swing back (but you don't want to fall in because it's so cold at night).  It’s really crazy but so much fun to watch them do it.

So, since I’m more brave than usual this year I decide to try the rope swing and see how great it is.  So I grab it and decide where to swing from.  There’s 3 levels you can choose: on the ground close to the water, on a small hill a big farther away for a bigger swing, and finally a round picnic table on top of the hill for a really big swing.  I went for close to the water since this was my first time, and then grabbed the rope and got ready for it.  I suddenly got nervous though and my friends cheered me on to do it and finally and stop thinking about it and just went.  So I swung over the water… and suddenly lost my grip!  I crashed into chilly waters and my friends screamed.  There was a lot of horrible things in the water like huge rocks, sharp objects, and… I’m pulling your leg right now!  Lol.

No, here’s what really happened.  The first time I swung over it and I came back just fine.  Now that I knew it wasn’t so bad save the rope burns, I walked up to the ledge for a much bigger swing.  More hesitation at first and then I went.  It’s a lot of fun to swing over a pond in the dark.  You feel the air hitting you when you fly and get a nice view of the water.  But suddenly, and I don’t know why or how, my left hand slipped off the rope, and I was left hanging from it by one arm.  As I flailed in the air from losing half my grip  I thought, “Oh no.  I’m really going to fall in.  I’ll break my legs and then be in a wheel chair.  And I won’t be able to play Mario Mix!  Aaaagggh!”  But my body refused to let me take the plunge.  Adrenalin kicked in and my right arm cluthced to the rope like crazy.  My arm hurt a lot but I had to do my best and hang on.  And somehow I did.  I couldn’t fall in no matter what.  And I didn’t!  I came back to land with only one arm and my friends were laughing like crazy.  They thought for sure I would fall in and so did I.  It still feels like I did fall in.  Only a miracle from God that I made it.  If I ever try that again I’ll make sure my arms are in better shape (and my arms hurt a lot after that night).  Then I’ll go for the table swing.

For another suspensful story but not nearly as good, I could also tell you all the story of how I got my Sonic doll (at the bottom of the page).  You can choose for yourself if you want to read it.

(E I):o{D___(--I I):o(D___(o 8(= P)___(= (:  )@)___(3 I)}:O})+)___<( )=(: )) )
<p>Edited by - Yoshisaurus Rex on 10/23/2005 4:11:49 PM

[smfan1085]

If I wasn't clear about this, the contents of the diaper didn't come out when it hit "Agamemnon's" face. But it was still hilarious.

The story you just told was good. I especially liked the leg-pulling part. XD

I also looked at your other story about the Sonic doll, and you said something about a caricature someone drew of you, and about you thinking of having the image hosted on someone's site. Have you thought of using Imageshack or Photobucket?

_______
j00r 73h r0x0r, d00d!

[Yoshisaurus Rex]

Thank you!  Actually I'm using Mypicgallery.com to see if that's any good for pictures.  I don't know if I like it too much since there's like no special features and uploading takes too long (but maybe other sites are like that too).  And speaking of that picture, I actually have it on the next page there.

(E I):o{D___(--I I):o(D___(o 8(= P)___(= (:  )@)___(3 I)}:O})+)___<( )=(: )) )

Edited by - Yoshisaurus Rex on 10/22/2005 9:07:50 PM

[Ultima Shadow]

And now, to unveil my stupid story filled with libraries, computers, keyboards and checkers! Mwa ha ha!

Anyway, I was sitting next to one of my friends on the library computers, having just borrowed an access card. We didn't have any internet money left (too much TMK and Slime games), until I recalled we could play Internet Checkers (bundled with XP) without internet money! So, we opened it up, and, while my friend was playing, I proceeded to grab the mouse when he didn't have it, scroll down the list of chat phrases and select a random saying. However, there was one that really caught my eye- 'King me!'.

After that, I always went on the computers, played Internet Checkers, and repeatedly said 'King Me!' until the opponent either turned chat off, or left. I also won several checkers games, too.

However, there was one time- my opponent 'King me!'d back! It was a heated match, but in the end, I won. It was heated- but one-sided at the same time. I finished the game with 11 pieces, three of them being kings. Meanwhile, my friend got addicted to Reversi...

THE END?

I''''ve noticed something amongst some people''''s signatures- they''''re not always perfektt.

[Yoshisaurus Rex]

I like your strategy, LS.  But I’ll probably never play Checkers against you now. XD

So you've heard some of my stories and they may be okay, but for some truly awesome stories you’ll want to click here.  I guarantee you won’t be disapointed!

Here’s a few mini stories that you might like to hear that involve car accidents.

Ditching the Wagon

When I was six years old our family was driving out of town in our station wagon to go shopping.  Then all of a sudden this car came straight at us and Dad had to swerve off the road into the ditch to avoid him.  Thankfully besides the fear we were fine, but Dad got hurt a little and his neck has been sore from that ever since. I feel very sorry for him about that.  But something kind of humorous I said after the incident has stuck with me since then, “Does this mean we’re not going to Wal-Mart now?”

Lord of the Cars: The Two Terrors

Years later as a teenager, a friend of mind had a fun birthday party.  After the gifts and delish cake,  everyone drove separately to an out-of-town theatre to see The Two Towers (that was a blast).  I rode with this guy in his car and with two others guys.  On the way to that town, we followed behind a vehicle going slower than us.  But I think it may have been going the speed limit.  Anway, my friend tried to pass a car in the dark on a two-way lane.  Apparently this was a bad idea and a bad time to pass because as soon as we got over to the left lane a vehicle came straight towards us.  As the lights illuminated the insides of the car and my friends yelled his name, I had my first near-death experience.  Everything just moved in slow motion (and possibly I may have seen some of my life flash before my eyes).  We immediately moved back into the right lane, missing the car by a few feet.  Even when we arrived at the theatre I felt terrified.  But before long the movie helped me forget about it.  Until afterwards.
<p>Btw, if you clicked on that first link I posted… ha ha ha!  I tricked you!  Or maybe I didn’t.  Probably not.  Sorry, that was kind of mean.  The real place is actually here.  Hope you’ll forgive me for that.

(E I):o{D___(--I I):o(D___(o 8(= P)___(= (:  )@)___(3 I)}:O})+)___<( )=(: )) )
<p>Edited by - Yoshisaurus Rex on 10/29/2005 8:54:37 AM

[Glorb]

Bwahahaha! Welcome, boys and ghouls...Ah, that's actually the only line I remember from Tales from the Crypt. Anyway, today is Halloween, and I have many scary tales to share with you...

Scary Incident in the Car
This one time when I was a little kid, my mom left me in the car for a few minutes to get something in a gas station. Those three minutes were very scary. I saw this car pull up near the car, and two guys came out. One walked next to the car and strted to point at it and talk to the other guy. I was pretty paranoid, so I thought they were going to get me or something. Anyway, they didn't, and it really wasn't all that scary.

Scary Movie
This other time, I saw a movie so scary I peed my pants.

Scary Movie #2
Back in 1999, I went to go see Scary Movie, and it SUCKED.

Okay, fine, there were only three tales, and they weren't scary. Sorry.

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"How are you gentlemen !! All your base are belong to us !! You are on the way to destruction. You have no chance to survive make your time. HA HA HA HA ...."
-Cats, Zero Wing (Genesis)

[Markio]

"Man, you guys are WEENIES." ~ Glorb.

That story is ironic.

[Yoshisaurus Rex]

How about just a few more mini stories from yours truly?  Buh-doo-buh-buh-doo-buh-buh!  Here we go!!

A Dog-Bite-Kid World
Another time when I was younger, our family went to someone’s house and I got bit by a dog.  I had to have some stitches placed in my cheek and because of all this I became very scared of dogs for a long time.  But eventually I got over my fear and now we have a big (stupid) colley dog at our house.  But I still need to get those stitches removed some day.

99 Bottles of Aspirin
Now that it’s December I believe it’s time for a quick little Christmas story.  One time when my school went christmas carolling around town (we had a small school), me and a friend had a great idea.  While we rode in one of the vehicles we started to sing 99 bottles of beer on the wall.  But THIS TIME we wanted to see how far we could get through the song before we went completely insane (or got kicked out of the van).  So we sang and sang and “passed out more and more bottles” until our voices started to hurt a lot and throats dried up.  We kept going on though and finally we went through the entire 99 bottles! (and then I concluded it by singing “Another whole shipment of beer on the wall!”)  It was so funny that my friend and I talked about forever.  I recommend that anyone give it a try mostly because it’s fun to annoy people with.  Ho ho ho… ha ha ha!

Wait, this is my fifth post on this page?  Good grief, Charlie Brown!

And I think I already asked this but can anyone help me find a specific thread?  It involves dares or crazy stunts or something like that and I feel like reading it for some reason.  I know it involved a kid peeing on his sister's toothbrush XP but that's it.  I appreciate any help.

[smfan1085]

Here you go. :)


A dog that bites a kid viciously in the cheek deserves to die a horrible and painful death. >:(

[Yoshisaurus Rex]

Thanks! ^_^  And I forget if that dog did get shot or something soon after.  I'll have to ask my parents again.

[Lizard Dude]

My brother wrote this but it's about me.

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Toilet Toils

So, on Thursday morning I wake up and take my morning dukar, except it was more like a morning chunky diarrhea.  After pooping I flushed but it didn't go down.  I plunged and waited a little while, and then flushed again.  The toilet bowl filled to the brim with my plunger-mushed liquid poop, and then went down to almost nothing but toilet paper and splatters around the entire inside of the bowl.  I decided not to bother with it anymore and went to Safeway.

After a long shift of work, I came home and instantly noticed the house smelled like rotting feces/pee.  I went upstairs to the bathroom and noticed that my towel, yes, my bath towel, was lying soaked in the middle of the floor, which was covered in liquid.  There were also pieces of napkins everywhere and I noticed that neither my other bath towel nor my hand towel were there.  I ran downstairs where Matthew was sleeping on the couch, where I noticed my other towels catching the dripping from the ceiling.  I screamed, "What the heck!" at Matthew, but he just groggily ignored me and said, "It's your poop."

As it turned out, Matthew woke up after I left and tried flushing the toilet, causing the bowl full of chunky brown soup to overflow and drench the entire floor.  Of course, he uses MY towel to wipe up the floor.  He then goes downstairs and is doing whatever, when a huge strip of plaster on the ceiling rips off due to the liquid poop pressure from above.  Also, a huge bubble is forming next to it for the same reason. After the bubble got too big, Matthew took off his shirt, grabbed a cake pan and a potato peeler and stabbed the bubble, catching the splashing waterfall of waste in the cake pan, which he (of course) threw in the sink.  He then put my other two towels under the two spots to catch the remaining draining.

Anyways, we were both furious at eat other and our ceiling has poop stains on it, has a sliced bubble, and a huge line of plaster just hanging there.  I spent like an hour cleaning the soaked bathroom with plastic bags on my feet and then had to go to Wal-Mart to stinkin' buy towels so that I could take a shower after wading in poop for so long.

It wasn't a good scenario and I don't know what we'll do about the ceiling, but at least the bathroom floor should stop being sticky after a week or so of walking on it.

[Glorb]

That smell...it smells...like a bump. Okay, maybe it's not a real bump, since it contributes to the thread, and I also got to see an old post of mine, which is proof that I've gotten 900% smarter over the years.

[SolidShroom]

LD: Your brother wrote it, so is it from his point of view?