Innocent Kid: La le la da da!
Mysterious Figure: Psst! Hey buddy...
Innocent Kid: Yeah mister?
Mysterious Figure: Wanna buy a watch?
Innocent Kid: Nah...I already gots one!
Mysterious Figure: Well how 'bout some weed? It's primo stuff, man.
Innocent Kid: No way, drugs are bad!
Mysterious Figure: Say kid, how old are you?
Innocent Kid: THIS many! *holds up eleven fingers*
Mysterious Figure: Hmm, have you posted on any...forums, lately?
Innocent Kid: Uh, maaaaaaybe...*kicks ground*
Mysterious Figure: Fungi Forums?
Innocent Kid:...yeah. ButonlyafewtimesandIdidn'treallymeanit!
Mysterious Figure: That's it HEY GUYS WE GOT US A 10-53 RIGHT HERE!
*seventeen armed guards jump out of the surrounding bushes*
Mysterious Figure: You can't escape now, kid. You've been caught by an undercover agent.
Innocent Kid: I'm too young to die!
*the kid feels a blow to the back of his head...and then nothing*
[HOURS PASS]
*the kid wakes up in a small, concrete room. A bright light shines into his face. Peering through it, he can barely make out a couple of dim figures sitting at the other end of the table*
Figure#1: He's awake.
Figure#2: Finally. Let's do this.
Figure#1: Kid, what's your name?
Innocent Kid: I WANT MY MOMMY!
Figure#2: *sigh* Do they ALWAYS have to do this? HUH?
Figure#1: Calm down. Don't let him get to you.
Figure#2: I KNEW I shouldn't have gotten up this morning...
Figure#1: Kid, there's no other way. You gotta tell us.
Innocent Kid: I WANT MY MOOOOOMMMMMMMMYYYYY!
Figure#2: #%^@
*kid feels a sharp blow to the back of his head...and then nothing*
[HOURS PASS]
*kid wakes back up in the same room*
Figure#1: Okay. Let's try this again. What's your name?
Figure#2: *mumbles under breath* It better work this time.
Figure#1: What was that?
Figure#2: Nothing.
Innocent Kid: You guys are mean. I'm gunna tell.
Figure#2: ...
Figure#1: *holds up lollipop* If you say your name, I'll give you this.
Innocent Kid: Um, I'm not supposed to tell my name to strangers.
Figure#1: We're not strangers! You've known us for HOURS!
Innocent Kid: Weeeellll, okay. It's Mancomb Seepgood.
Figure#1: Great! Got it! Get to work, Samson. *hurls lollipop into trash receptacle*
Innocent Kid: NOOOOOOOOO!
Figure#2:*rolls chair over to computer and begins typing*
Figure#1: Got it?
Figure#2: Yeah, looks like the Seepgood number is 555-9217.
Figure#1: 'K.
*beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep*
Figure#1: Hello? Mrs. Seepgood? Yes, this is Jim Collona from the FBI. I'm afraid we have a problem. Due to Department of Homeland Security regulations, your son has been taken away...That's right...yes...yes...No, you'll certainly never see him again...yes...yes...Just doing mah job, ma'am...that's all...and we're taking away his birthday...yes...no ma'am...yes ma'am...What did he do? I'll tell you what he did.
"HE POSTED ON FUNGI FORUMS BEFORE HE WAS 13!!!!!!"
Mancomb was never heard from again.
“I’m a stupid fatty and I love to play with my Easy Bake oven!â€
