Well, you know Waluigi. He always has his head in the clouds. And, why, you ask, does
he have an Italian accent while Wario does not? Well, you see...I don't know.
But thanks. :)
Chapter 3: Temptation Comes A-KnockingNeedless to say, Peach was thrilled with her new power. It was something that made her feel so utterly different, but in a fantastically free sort of way. No longer being chained to the possibilities of abduction, the likes of which used to hold dominion over her daily affairs, was like being a beautiful bird only recently released from its cage and enjoying life like never before. Singing a new song and using that extra margin of wingspan, Princess Peach was a changed monarch! And by monarch, I mean moth! And by moth, I mean thing with wings! And by thing with wings, I do, in fact, mean bird!
"Toadsworth, come
here!" Peach said one morning.
"Hm?" replied the weary mushroom.
He moved a couple of inches toward the beaming maiden, who, with a sly twinkle in her eye, was holding what appeared to be a bag of peanuts.
"Yes, what is it, princess?"
Now, when I said that he moved a couple of inches toward her, you have to keep in mind that Peach and Toadstool were about five hundred “wingspans” apart. Thus, Toadsworth, being the old coot he was, had to squint in order to make out the pink blob standing beside the castle entrance.
"Toadsworth, that's not here. COME HERE!" Peach cried, directing her finger down at her feet.
"Of course I can hear, you silly, silly girl! I'm not some old guy you should feel pity for!...Right...?..."
"Stop your blabbering and get over here!"
"...Er..." Toadsworth was having a horribly difficult time making out the image of Peach. How he rued the audacity he had felt in the morning, when he decided not to wear his spectacles! "That...is...you...? ...Peaches?"
"What are you mumbling?"
"Nothing! Ahem...
Kirby?"
"COME HERE!"
In an instant Toadsworth waddled to the feet of Princess Peach, who was standing with her hands on her hips and her left foot a-tapping. And, being the near-sighted thing he is, Toadsworth was able to make out the tall, petite figure of Ms. Toadstool.
"Ah. Right...of course..." he said, more to himself than to Peach. "Now, what is it?"
"I want you to get my private jet ready, please. I'm going to be making...I'm going to be making...well...let's just say there's some long over-due revenge that needs dealing with..."
"...What do you mean?"
"I think you know very well what I mean, Toadsworth..."
"...If you're thinking about that time you...
slipped...at the Christmas party...
IT WASN'T ME - I SWEAR IT!" "No, no, not - Wait a second. What did you just say?"
"NOTHING! NOTHING AT ALL! Jeesh, maybe it's
you who ought to get the hearing aid, eh Peach?"
He gave a wheezy laugh and scuttled out of the castle, on his way to prepare Peach's private jet. In the meantime, Princess Toadstool would ponder over what had just happened, and, for a moment, feel an inexplicable sense of humiliation while humming the song
Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer...
"...
had a very shin-EY nose..."
"
Like a light bulb."
"What?"
"Now, princess, you still haven't told me where we are going."
Toadsworth had accompanied Peach on her journey through the skies, deciding that it would be best for her to go with a chaperone. However, before taking off, the old fungus hadn't managed to pry even the slightest bit of information concerning their destination from the princess, thus being oblivious as to where they could possibly be going.
He was aware of one thing, however. And that was that it was some place far across the ocean...
"Oh, you know," Peach replied after a long pause. "To that...place..."
"That...place...? Is that your answer? Are you certain? Because that could be any place, princess. You really SUCK at evading unfavorable conversations."
"Yes, yes, I know- thank you, and-"
"GOOD NIGHTSES!!!"
In a flash that could've lasted anywhere between a split second and a dragging hour, the pink, floral chair in front of Peach and Toadsworth spun around, revealing a small, pea-green character of short height and wide grin. A single, long and curling hair sprouted from the middle of his forehead, dangling just above a pair of enormous, magnifying glasses.
Yes, it was, in short, the prince of strange, Fawful.
And, obviously, this wasn't all that happened, because if it were, it would provide for a very awkward story-telling, and an even more awkward reaction to said story. ("And then, the chair in front of us turned around!" -GASP!!!OMGNO!!!- "And guess who was sitting in it!" -OHNOESICANTGUESS!- "...FAWFUL!" -GASP!!!- "...!" -*anticipation*- "...!..." -*waning anticipation- "...that's it, you guys...").
Fawful flung his tiny self at Peach, who, suddenly scared to death, yet not completely without hope, found herself perfectly unharmed. In fact, it would not be considered a dubious speculation to say that Fawful flew directly through the princess, as though she were a ghost, and hit the back of her chair, falling unto what
would have been her lap, but which was instead the chair's seat, and then collapsed to the floor. It was from this angle that he not only got an excellent glimpse up Peach's dress, but also a pleasant view of mustard bottles that circled around his cranium.
"Oh my gosh! What the crap just happened?" Peach cried, pinching the hemline of her dress (after which, it should be noted, a muffled voice yelled "I CAN'T BREATHE!").
Toadsworth wasn't available for answer, as he had crawled under his seat.
Fawful, on the other hand, had a mouth for numerous words.
"THE GREAT LOOM OF EVIL! Where fruits of victories dance with my many mustards of DOOM!"
"What is he saying?! Omigosh, do you think it's some kind of secret message that can only be broken with a fancy, schmancy code thing?! ...Do you? ...Toadsworth? ...TOADSWORTH!!!ETQWET#!"
"WHAT?! THIS IS FREAKING THE CRAP OUT OF ME!!!"
In the end, however, a brave Toad stewardess (who preferred to be called 'airplane assistant who is just as good as the people she serves') came and chucked the babbling Fawful out one of the emergency doors. Keep in mind that they were quite a few miles off the ground...and moving...fast...through the clouds.
The last words they heard the little maniac shout were, "THE FURIES OF IHOP WILL CONQUER THE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONS!!!!"
And as it turned out, the sneaky devil that allowed Fawful on the plane was none other than the Toad hiding in Peach's dress, who was apparently feeling sour about being punched in the noggin earlier.
After a long pep talk (which looked strange, as the princess decided it best to speak to the Toad while he was still under her dress), he and Peach made up, ending on a rather pleasant note (as far as pleasant goes when you're speaking to a person who lives in your clothes).
"While, at least we learned one thing from this," Toadsworth said.
"Yeah," replied Peach. "Whether they gaze at your ankles all day or not, some people can prove surprisingly contumacious!"
"What?! ...
www.dictionary.com...NO! I was talking about your gift!"
"My gift? What? The puppy's fine! I named him Squishy, and he shall be-"
"NO! Not
that gift! I'm talking about the gift from the stars, you moron!"
"What did you just say?"
"Er...gift from the stars, you...
boron...?"
"...I majored in chemistry at Mushroom University, you know."
"Er...gift from the stars you...
goron...?"
"...I love the Legend of Zelda..."
"...Er...well...actually, all I said was that I
tore on a muscle in my back...ooh...yeah...that stings..."
"You need to shut up."
"Yeah, alright..."
After many long hours, Toadsworth noticed the sky turning abnormally dark. Clouds, as misty as fog and equally eerie, began to envelope the plane in icy blankets, creating a caliginous setting within the jet.
"Excuse me, plane attendant who’s no better than the whatever of whichwhat, could I have a blanket please?" asked the old Toad. The stewardess glared at him and shoved a folded blue cloth in his face.
"Thank you."
He wrapped himself up like a tiny cocktail weenie, and, deciding that the frigid ambiance was something he should be concerned about, asked, "Peach...where are we going?!"
Peach didn't reply. She merely watched the gray clouds from her tiny oval window, smiling with a devilish gleam in her eye. Though she was certain that the seven star spirits had given her such a blessing in hopes that she would use it with good-intent, temptation came knocking at her door, and these knocks, she decided, were far too loud to ignore. For who could pass off the chance to emulate one's enemy? Or rather, even better, give him/her a taste of something awful...not necessarily their own medicine, but a deprivation of such. A sudden and unwelcome drought of whatever it was that gave him/her a feeling of power.
"Wait a second..." Toadsworth said. "I know where this is! It's! It's!"
A merry voice ran over the intercom. It said, "
Now approaching, Bowser's Castle! :) Now approaching, Bowser's Castle ^_^ ... tee hee!" "Peach! PEACH - NOOOOOOOO!"
"What's wrong, Toady?" asked Peach, suddenly a little concerned at Toadsworth's random display of panic.
"
I'll tell you what's wrong!" said the little Toad hiding inside Peach's dress. "
Apparently, Michael Jackson is the pilot!"
"GET DOWN!" cried Peach, socking him in the noggin once more. He retreated back under the frilly hem of her dress wearing a big, googly frown.
"Peach, you can't go walking up all willy nilly to Bowser's keep! He'll! He'll! He'll make you BURN!" said Toadsworth, on a more serious note.
"Oh, really?" Peach asked, a sly grin on her face.
"Yes, really! I'm going to tell the pilot to turn around this very minute, and-"
"
HEEEE-HEEEEEEEEE!" came a vibrato, girlish-sounding laugh from the cockpit.
"...Er...rather..."
"That's right Toadsworth, you can't stop the plane! I'm PRINCESS! And as such, I say we go and give our pal Bowser a little howdy doo!"
While Peach sat complacently, a looming fact lurked silently in the back of her mind...
Someone had obviously sent Fawful to kidnap her, for why else would he have snuck onto the plane? The thought of her new power, though, seemed to clog any pondering of caution that might have taken place earlier. But while she seemed safe from harm, what ideas were being formed by the villain using Fawful...? And what dangerous plots might later on plague her...?
Author's Note: Sorry this chapter doesn't really have any substance to it. I just wanted something frivolous and random. I think I reached success.