Author Topic: "Distortions" is Here!  (Read 35693 times)


  • Ridiculously relevant
« on: April 23, 2010, 11:02:07 PM »
Now remastered exclusively for Amazon Kindle!

Also available in physical form through my blog, Notes&Sketches.

For those who haven't heard, I wrote a book; as an aspiring author, more shall come, but this is my self-published debut: Distortions, a collection of Twilight Zone-esque short stories. I waited a while to announce this because I wanted to make sure close friends and family would have a chance to procure first-edition copies, but I feel confident I can step up my advertising campaign now. The going price--which covers shipping and handling--is... Alright, I've been hunting for the cheapest shipping options, and it looks like they'll be mail-selling for $11!

These were all written over the course of my time in high school, and so I'd say they're somewhat above, say, Neal Shusterman, but well below Stephen King, in terms of content/intended audience. Here's some teasers:

The Mall
“Hey, I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again,” Nick insisted, “A monster lives in the downtown mall. Case closed.”

Down for the Count
I don’t know what I did to make them mad—the numbers, I mean.

Dimension for Rent
He walked up toward the large, dirty panes, where a sign was propped up from the inside in front of the curtains. It looked like thick, white cardboard, and on it was scrawled:

In red permanent marker and, beneath it,


Power of the Day
You see, I have just about every superpower there is. But, for one reason or another, I just can’t have them all at once.

How to Stop Time
He felt the irritation that had compounded throughout the day hit all at once. Balling his hands into fists at his sides, Shane stomped his foot, looked up at the sky, and screamed, “Why can’t I just stop time!?”
“Why not, indeed?” said a voice behind him, and Shane spun around so fast he almost twisted his ankle.

People of the Paper
Daniel extended his hand to rub away the drawing and there was the quick scratch of pencil-writing as the stick figure threw up its arms.

The Lunchtable of the Apocalypse
I shrank back as Warra banged a fist on the table. “Bomb ‘em all, I say!” she hollered explosively, “either you’re with us or you’re a stain on the ground!” Then, to drive the point home, she swiftly pulled a large knife from somewhere in her pockets and stabbed it into the table, hard enough for it to splinter the wood and stay upright. Breathing heavily, she resumed eating.

He looks to the massive windows that complement the double doors, hoping like a child on Christmas morning for a present, a reward for his hardiness and determination. Darkness shrouds the parking lot and a thick fog obscures all beyond it, but all he must do is look to the empty sky to know his purgatory must continue.
« Last Edit: April 10, 2016, 12:05:57 PM by ShadowBrain »
"Mario is your oyster." ~The Chef

« Reply #1 on: April 23, 2010, 11:21:00 PM »
Do you accept PayPal?

« Reply #2 on: April 24, 2010, 02:21:02 PM »
Would it be too much to ask to have you post a sample here?
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  • Ridiculously relevant
« Reply #3 on: May 07, 2010, 09:18:10 PM »
Well, I must confess that I've yet to set myself up with PayPal yet. As for some samples... Added above!
"Mario is your oyster." ~The Chef

« Reply #4 on: May 15, 2010, 12:16:57 PM »
I am intriuged. Let me know when you get your Pay Pal set up.

My sister (possibly me too) wants also to be an author. She's closer to being published than I am though, but anyway, I feel the need to support other aspiring authors.
Kinopio is the ultimate video game character! Who else can drive a kart, host parties, play tennis, give good advice and items, and is almost always happy??


  • Bob-Omg
« Reply #5 on: May 15, 2010, 02:51:21 PM »
I'm on board. Like the others, lemme know the PayPal situation when you figure it out.
Formerly quite reasonable.


  • Ridiculously relevant
« Reply #6 on: August 02, 2010, 10:13:41 PM »
Oh, yeah, I forgot there were people waiting on me... Yeah, PayPal's up and running! A link to my blog has been appended to the above post.

Oh, and nenson! Has anybody seen nenson? He's the only guy here who's bought it so far; I need to know what he thought of it!
"Mario is your oyster." ~The Chef


  • Ridiculously relevant
« Reply #7 on: November 01, 2010, 09:03:09 AM »

Turtlekid's read the latest story... why not do the same?
"Mario is your oyster." ~The Chef


  • Ridiculously relevant
« Reply #8 on: March 22, 2011, 12:26:06 PM »
Distortions is now available at a discounted price via Barnes & Noble's NookBook service! See the updated post for the link.
"Mario is your oyster." ~The Chef


  • Ridiculously relevant
« Reply #9 on: July 11, 2011, 05:14:44 PM »
In a few days, the same thing as the previous post will hopefully be the case with Amazon's Kindle store. So... keep an eye out!
"Mario is your oyster." ~The Chef

« Reply #10 on: July 23, 2011, 01:48:25 PM »
I thoroughly read and enjoyed every chapter. Highly recommended.
ROM hacking with a slice of life.


  • Ridiculously relevant
« Reply #11 on: July 30, 2011, 05:50:04 PM »
Hey, thanks! But wait... I sent that to you over a year ago, right? Well, in any case, be sure to give me some official feedback on one or both sites if you get the chance.
« Last Edit: July 30, 2011, 05:51:38 PM by ShadowBrain »
"Mario is your oyster." ~The Chef


  • Ridiculously relevant
« Reply #12 on: November 02, 2011, 05:06:51 PM »
New everything! Check it out! Boomark it! Shout it from the rooftops, etc.!
"Mario is your oyster." ~The Chef


  • Old Person™
« Reply #13 on: November 05, 2011, 05:07:26 PM »
Judging a book by its cover
Distortions arrived today.  The front cover is a high gloss image that uses radioactive ink (possibly for tracking purposes).  The back cover is also high gloss black and seems designed for easy fingerprinting of suspects/readers like many current handheld electronics.   

It's what's inside that counts
Except for the pages that aren't numbered.  A couple of those are beyond counting--the personal note and dedication/thanks pages.  The little bookmark/card included was a nice touch, but I'm one of those horrible people that dog ears the pages.  The pages themselves are bright white with high contrast bold black text.  So far the stories make me think of a young version of Damon Knight or Harlan Ellison with a touch of Robert Silverberg or Orson Scott Card

Edit:  See below. 
« Last Edit: November 05, 2011, 05:23:51 PM by Luigison »
“Evolution has shaped us with perceptions that allow us to survive. But part of that involves hiding from us the stuff we don’t need to know."

« Reply #14 on: November 05, 2011, 05:11:10 PM »
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