Chapter 6
Waluigi stuck his thumb out, waiting to catch a ride from a friendly individual willing to let him tag along. Every car that drove by his standing point passed without even giving a second thought. His overalls were ripped apart, his hat filled with dirt and his face covered in mud.
"Uh..." he said with a growl. "I'm so hungry..."
His body looked as if it was ready to snap. He dropped the bag he was carrying and unzipped it so that he could take out his diet pills. He reached inside and dug around for a few seconds; he pulled out a strange, scarlet colored bottle that read "DIET" on the front. The side of the bottle had information about the pill itself; what it contained, when it was to be used and other assorted bits of info. The sweat that had accumulated on his face dripped down onto the ground as he opened the lid and tossed it aside.
"I must stay skinny or I'll never get that modeling career!"
As he flipped the bottle upside down, bits and pieces of what appeared to be sunflower seeds fell out into Waluigi's hand.
"Gasp!"
His voice echoed across the country, but no one could here, save the birds. They all flew down and picked apart the dirt as they searched for seeds.
"Oh no...don't tell me he was playing with the medicine cabinet again!"
As the day progressed, strange things began to happen to Waluigi's enviroment. The heat waves surrounding the area grew more frequent. The plant life looked dry, and for some reason or another, the temperature was rising. The sun would not retreat; no clouds were present. Waluigi began to sweat more and more until he began to hallucinate. He saw what appeared to be a bearded man in a white robe.
"So...hot...." he said with a gasp. "Who...are you?" Waluigi could not understand why the temp was climbing as fast as it was. The bearded man drew closer and held out his hand.
But Waluigi could only shake his fist in the air; his skinny body collapsed into the ground.
"This is...just like..." He couldn't finish his sentence.
Waluigi felt a cold yet comforting feeling as his body succumb to dehydration. He blanked out as the buzzards gathered around to pick apart his remains.
Meanwhile, Wario (who had obviously taken whatever diet pill Waluigi once had) flexed his ripped abs in front of the ladies. Luigi, who was flipping burgers in the yard, smiled with glee.
"I didn't know Wario had such a high powered grill. I wonder why he had it put away though?"
He called Wario over (who had girls latched on to his arms and legs) for a little chat.
"Say Wario, you think the girls could use a little food? They look hungry."
Wario shook the women off of his body and offered them some meat, which he had pulled out of his back pocket. The girls threw their heads in disgust.
"Eww!" They all shouted at once.
Luigi pointed his finger to the grill in anger.
"No no, you idiot! Not that! This!"
Wario didn't pay attention to Luigi's burgers. He did however, notice the grill.
"Uh, Luigi? Where'd you get this grill?"
Luigi explained to him that he found it at a local store, for fear of Wario finding out that it was his grill.
"Oh, okay. I'm glad you didn't find that in the sealed off walls of my house!" Wario, who had completely forgotten that the so-called "sealed off walls" had been knocked down, didn't give it a second thought.
Luigi shooed Wario away as he flipped more of the patties. They sizzled, filling the air with a delicate aroma. Mario's mouth drooled.
"Luigi's such a bad cook," he thought. "I wonder why those patties look so good. Must be the grill....."
Mario dismissed the idea that Luigi's cooking was so bad that there was no way he could ever hope to grill something; he casually laid back and stared at the sky. He did notice, however, that Wario had a sprinkler system built into the wall on Mario's left.
"Haha," he smiled. "I love these. Luigi and I used to play with them all the time."
Mario opened up the cover to the system itself (I didn't even require a key) and pressed a few buttons.
Meanwhile, Wario had girls of all ages piling up to his face; teens, adults and even some pre-pubescent children were "bowing" at his feet. There was even an elder woman who just could not keep her hands off of him. Some may say that Wario had fallen in a pile of multi-colored leaves.
"Now now girls, there's enough of me to go around." Wario was acting a little more formal than usual; that could only be explained by his arousal with the girls. He flexed his bicep and lifted the women off of there feet. All 43 of them were getting a kick out of it.
"Show us more, we wanna see your abs, super model!"
Wario couldn't understand why he never had this many girls before, but he did as he was told. Yoshi, who was walking by, paused to see the amazing sight. His jaw dropped to the floor and his eyes widened.
"W-wario? I d-don't....believe..."
He slapped his face and shook his head.
"Cosplayer. Should've known"
Yoshi went on his way as Luigi turned up the heat on the grill. The temperature outside climbed a little bit, but know one seemed to notice, since Mario had the sprinkler system running. The month was May, but it felt like Summer.
"Turn it up!"
Mario shouted some encouraging words to Luigi, who had flipped on the grill's built-in radio; the sounds of surf music filled the entire yard. People from around the whole neighboorhood joined in to grab a piece of the fun.
"I'll be able to fix that door Mario broke in our house for sure with suckers like these!" Luigi snikered to himself. He flipped another patty and turned up the grill's heat nob once more.
"Yeah...this is gonna be a slam dunk."
