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Author Topic: Read Up some Sean Malstrom Topics...  (Read 47041 times)

« on: February 26, 2016, 07:59:37 PM »
Particularly, "Mario was the First Mii."

https://seanmalstrom.wordpress.com/2008/06/20/mario-was-the-first-mii/
https://seanmalstrom.wordpress.com/2011/06/04/email-i-hate-magical-mario/
https://seanmalstrom.wordpress.com/2012/09/13/email-surreal-mario-brothers/

For those who don't know of his existence, he's a businessman who looks upon the financial history of video games. And he loathes what it has become, especially regarding Super Mario Bros.

Here's three topics regarding Red M. What do you think?
« Last Edit: February 27, 2016, 02:54:07 PM by 4 Game Freak »

CrossEyed7

  • i can make this whatever i want; you're not my dad
« Reply #1 on: February 26, 2016, 09:47:09 PM »
I used to follow Sean Malstrom religiously about ten years ago when he was writing about the Nintendo Revolution, but when I look back at him now he just seems grumpy and inconsistent (he wants video games to all be like he remembers them on the NES, and also he doesn't want anything Japanese in his Nintendo games). And apparently he's a Trump supporter now.
"Oh man, I wish being a part of a Mario fan community was the most embarrassing thing about my life." - Super-Jesse

BP

  • Beside Pacific
« Reply #2 on: February 27, 2016, 12:37:54 AM »
I'm pretty sure I read something of his once. It was about how graphics on the NES were all only functional and never looked good and that's why they were the best and we've come nowhere since then, something something pretentious pretentious. I remember feeling like "this guy thinks he knows it all and clearly doesn't" but don't remember every counterargument I would have come up with. Except one: the guy never saw a Mega Man game. They were   l o a d e d   with fancy frills and whistles and bells.
All your dreeeeeeams begiiin to shatterrrrrr~
It's YOUR problem!

The Chef

  • Super
« Reply #3 on: February 27, 2016, 02:24:51 AM »
I've read some of this stuff before. He sounds like he never stopped being a ****y, insecure 12-year-old.

« Reply #4 on: February 27, 2016, 03:50:30 PM »
I remember enjoying his Birdman Fallacy article when I was a kid, but looking at some stuff now...what a ******.
Relics.

CrossEyed7

  • i can make this whatever i want; you're not my dad
« Reply #5 on: February 27, 2016, 08:05:39 PM »
"Oh man, I wish being a part of a Mario fan community was the most embarrassing thing about my life." - Super-Jesse

« Reply #6 on: February 27, 2016, 09:10:07 PM »
*sigh* ...the thing with Malstrom is that he still believes in the values of society from older times, which he respect more than what occurs in modern times.

He also, as well as his followers, prefers gaming to go back to tradition values.

He hates the concept of saving, because it takes away the fear of dying. Lack of Game Overs(as well as lives), takes away the penalties and punishments of failure. There's no real reason to progress and gain anymore!

He likes characters better when they were nothing but vessels for the players(Samus Aran is nothing but whoever makes her to be, not Sakamoto).

He liked the limitations of video game technology because it forces developers to think on their decisions while making games.

There's a lot more on what he misses. Remember, it's all about business.

CrossEyed7

  • i can make this whatever i want; you're not my dad
« Reply #7 on: February 27, 2016, 09:29:34 PM »
I could tell that he was about "traditional values" when he posted a meme calling Caitlyn Jenner a man.

yeah i dont like him
"Oh man, I wish being a part of a Mario fan community was the most embarrassing thing about my life." - Super-Jesse

BP

  • Beside Pacific
« Reply #8 on: February 28, 2016, 03:09:48 AM »
There are only two really big problems with the game industry today and they don't have a whole lot to do with losing sight of what made coin-operated arcade machines successful. The first problem is that big-budget games are getting samey and boring by playing it safe while they get more and more expensive to make. The second problem is that the independent market of interesting creative games worth playing is too flooded for many of them to be successful.

Now. That being said there are still some good games worth playing and all of those complaints are from someone who doesn't play enough of them, or is stuck in a comfort zone they know is stagnant and boring and yet they refuse to leave. I'm only going to go up against one of them because it's something I've been thinking about lately:

He hates the concept of saving, because it takes away the fear of dying. Lack of Game Overs(as well as lives), takes away the penalties and punishments of failure. There's no real reason to progress and gain anymore!
This is a lazy complaint. Because thinking there's only one best way to deal death in a game is lazy. A lazy game developer will just say "and when you run out of life you load your save" without considering what's best for the game. You need the player to want to avoid failure. But no one really likes doing the same thing over and over. Stop thinking about Super Mario Bros. 1 for a second and imagine dying in the Fire Temple in Ocarina of Time because one of those stupid boulders wouldn't leave you alone. Then the game goes "**** off wimpy baby" and you're in Kokiri Forest again, no sword, no shield, no spiritual stones, no ocarina, no known songs, nothing, again.

If you want some insight on how games are made and real critical thinking about how to make them better, here's Extra Credits. Also, I recommend Dark Souls.
All your dreeeeeeams begiiin to shatterrrrrr~
It's YOUR problem!

Turtlekid1

  • Tortuga
« Reply #9 on: February 28, 2016, 04:48:05 PM »
no one really likes doing the same thing over and over

Also, I recommend Dark Souls.

I dunno man, I haven't straight up shelved many video games for being repetitive and boring, but Dark Souls is on the short list.
"It'll say life is sacred and so is death
but death is life and so we move on"

BP

  • Beside Pacific
« Reply #10 on: February 28, 2016, 07:21:32 PM »
Well, any game will have some degree of repetition when you fail because you have to do it again to succeed, it's how much you have to repeat that gets annoying. Dark Souls is punishing, but there are some merciful bits. You don't lose items you picked up. If you opened a shortcut, that will ease a lot of pain. Some enemies stay dead, usually the ones it most feels like they should. And you only lose all your souls if you didn't learn anything from your failure. The repetition feels more like steady progress if you don't just totally lose it or blame the game for killing you.

But what I meant from that recommendation was, perhaps if you play Dark Souls, all your complaints that games lost their magic sparkles sometime in the '80s or '90s will turn into complaints that more games aren't like Dark Souls. Good games that have evolved from what worked in the good games of the past, and not from a dream of making them "cinematic" or whatever, exist.
All your dreeeeeeams begiiin to shatterrrrrr~
It's YOUR problem!

Turtlekid1

  • Tortuga
« Reply #11 on: February 28, 2016, 08:42:08 PM »
Haha, yeah, I definitely can't argue that it and sequels/similar titles wouldn't address those complaints.
"It'll say life is sacred and so is death
but death is life and so we move on"

« Reply #12 on: February 29, 2016, 06:50:33 PM »
Just remember, for the whole "do or die" scenario, Malstrom believes that video games should not be played for long time(you got better things in life to to than that), especially arcadey types. It should all be played in one go(the game themselves are not that long anyway).

Here's another old article I have found.
https://seanmalstrom.wordpress.com/2010/05/11/email-game-design-restriction-x-creativity-mario-3d/

What do you think?

BP

  • Beside Pacific
« Reply #13 on: February 29, 2016, 07:55:17 PM »
It's great to have opinions. Make sure they're yours.
All your dreeeeeeams begiiin to shatterrrrrr~
It's YOUR problem!

CrossEyed7

  • i can make this whatever i want; you're not my dad
« Reply #14 on: March 01, 2016, 04:05:56 PM »
Quote from: Malstrom
Zelda is awaiting to explode. But it is the Zelda arcade action that you saw in games like Link to the Past. This Puzzle-Zelda is nothing at all what Zelda used to be.
...he thinks Link to the Past didn't have puzzles?

Look, the quick simple character-less arcadey games that Malstom wants do exist. But other types of games exist too, and that makes him mad. He's a fundamentalist.

The instructional VHS tape that came with your coffee maker is a very different kind of non-interactive audiovisual media than Star Wars, and that's okay, because there's room for different kinds of things in the same medium. You can get mad at a piece of media for being a bad example of what it's trying to be (dislike the prequels for being bad at being Star Wars, or dislike an instructional video that doesn't actually give any clear directions), but Malstrom's complaints about modern games seem more like "Empire Strikes Back is bad because it didn't tell me how my hair clipper works."
"Oh man, I wish being a part of a Mario fan community was the most embarrassing thing about my life." - Super-Jesse

« Reply #15 on: March 01, 2016, 04:27:31 PM »
Some of the best video game analysis I've seen comes from Matthewmatosis. I highly recommend checking out his series of videos on the 3D Zelda games.
Relics.

ShadowBrain

  • Ridiculously relevant
« Reply #16 on: March 03, 2016, 08:26:21 AM »
Never heard of this guy, but from the summaries in this thread he sounds like a more bitter Tevis Thompson.
"Mario is your oyster." ~The Chef

« Reply #17 on: March 03, 2016, 09:42:26 PM »
The instructional VHS tape that came with your coffee maker is a very different kind of non-interactive audiovisual media than Star Wars
Aren't there some parts of the Star Wars Holiday Special that are like instructional videos?
Relics.

CrossEyed7

  • i can make this whatever i want; you're not my dad
« Reply #18 on: March 04, 2016, 12:28:19 AM »
stir whip stir whip whip whip stir
"Oh man, I wish being a part of a Mario fan community was the most embarrassing thing about my life." - Super-Jesse

Tavros

  • he was hello
« Reply #19 on: March 04, 2016, 02:56:06 PM »
I'm gonna learn how to build my PC from the Holiday Special
read jitsu wa watashi wa

« Reply #20 on: March 05, 2016, 09:12:52 AM »
https://seanmalstrom.wordpress.com/2010/11/24/email-question-about-mario-3/

So, I was right about Malstrom hating "saving" in games.

Come to think of it, you know one reason why I really like Super Mario Brothers 3? It is the lack of save points. If you need to go anywhere, there is the warp whistle. And it doesn’t take that long to play through the entire game in one sitting.

...also...

Sometimes things like save points have been bad to gaming. For example, save points can remove the fear of dying. It was fun to totally wipe and have to start over but this time with more skill (and you end up where you were before but with many more lives). This element seems completely lost in platformers today and was lost even when Super Mario World came out.

He really wants it old fashioned.

Also, I found a metroid-related article.
https://seanmalstrom.wordpress.com/2010/09/22/email-zero-punctuation-reviews-other-m/

I do not believe the Zero Suit has been helpful for Samus Aran or Metroid in general. When Samus revealed herself at the end of older Metroids, she would just have a bikini on. I prefer her being in her metallic suit in a bikini than this “zero suit”. The only reason why she has the ‘Zero Suit’ is so she can run around with a pistol and act like a ninja ‘ninja’. Samus was likable because she did not have super-Human powers. We figured that Samus outside of her suit would be instant death in the hideous alien environments on Zebes. But in Sakamoto’s bizarro world, Samus is a super ninja and the armor is just a costume which she can turn ‘on’ and ‘off’ at will (depending on whether it is time to show off her butt some more).

I think he's confusing "slightly stronger than the average human" for "superpowered demigod." Just because she has alien blood in her DNA(He hates everything about the character Samus is given. He rather she remained a featureless avatar) doesn't mean she is a glorified superhuman. At best, she is on the level of Captain America.
« Last Edit: March 05, 2016, 09:18:06 AM by 4 Game Freak »

The Chef

  • Super
« Reply #21 on: March 05, 2016, 10:12:50 AM »
She really wasn't that powerful the one time we got to play as her. The best you could do was stun Space Pirates and hide.

I guess this is an example of how Smash can ruin people's perception?

« Reply #22 on: March 05, 2016, 10:26:10 AM »
She really wasn't that powerful the one time we got to play as her. The best you could do was stun Space Pirates and hide.

I guess this is an example of how Smash can ruin people's perception?
She was still able to do acrobatic moves and abilities, which annoyed Malstrom.

She imagined(probably still does) her to be completely hapless without her suit, and she's only good and likable when in it at all cost, 100%.

CrossEyed7

  • i can make this whatever i want; you're not my dad
« Reply #23 on: March 05, 2016, 11:38:29 AM »
Malstrom's hatred of video game characters having "superpowers" is weird (cf that post where he says SML2 is better than Galaxy because he had to wear a helmet in space). Though I don't really see how having a taser and being physically fit is a superpower anyway.

But whatever; Samus was never supposed to be helpless without the suit:


I do think it's a shame that muscular 6'3" 198lb Samus was replaced with generic 4-foot-tall waifu Samus, but yeah.
"Oh man, I wish being a part of a Mario fan community was the most embarrassing thing about my life." - Super-Jesse

BP

  • Beside Pacific
« Reply #24 on: March 05, 2016, 12:50:44 PM »
Wait a minute... no superpowers... no save points...

this guy's ideal modern-day game is ****ing Hatred

jesus
All your dreeeeeeams begiiin to shatterrrrrr~
It's YOUR problem!

« Reply #25 on: March 05, 2016, 05:28:08 PM »
Wait a minute... no superpowers... no save points...

this guy's ideal modern-day game is ****ing Hatred

jesus
And no characterization. He wants the 80s arcade experiences back, as that is what attracted customers the most.

I honestly liked how Samus Aran look at that poster. Better than how she looks now.
« Last Edit: March 05, 2016, 07:52:44 PM by 4 Game Freak »

BP

  • Beside Pacific
« Reply #26 on: March 05, 2016, 10:26:39 PM »
Still is Hatred. Nothing whatsoever in it is human enough to warrant investment. Hatred, game of the year all years for Sean Malstrom. Chkk chkk.
All your dreeeeeeams begiiin to shatterrrrrr~
It's YOUR problem!

« Reply #27 on: March 06, 2016, 07:46:18 PM »
One of my favourite Sean Malstrom moment, and a great example of his many failings as a game commentor, is this recent blog post where he argues that Splatoon cannot be considered a successful game because it "did not move hardware"

Quote
The metric of success for FIRST PARTY TITLES is selling the hardware. That is the entire reason why Nintendo makes games. It is to sell the [darn] console.

Splatoon is not selling Wii Us.

Therefore…

Splatoon is a dud.

It is not that complicated.

Mario Kart 8 sold Wii Us. Smash Brothers is selling hardware (mostly 3DS it seems). But Splatoon is not moving the hardware.

Except his premise is wrong. The Wii U's japanese sales more than doubled for months after Splatoon was released. The man is coasting on one kinda good article he wrote a decade ago, and he's put out nothing but laughable tripe since then, lol.

« Reply #28 on: March 06, 2016, 09:45:49 PM »
One of my favourite Sean Malstrom moment, and a great example of his many failings as a game commentor, is this recent blog post where he argues that Splatoon cannot be considered a successful game because it "did not move hardware"

Except his premise is wrong. The Wii U's japanese sales more than doubled for months after Splatoon was released. The man is coasting on one kinda good article he wrote a decade ago, and he's put out nothing but laughable tripe since then, lol.
He doesn't count Japan, as he sees it as a dying nation that is in serious decline.
 Only the west financially matters, it seems.

Tavros

  • he was hello
« Reply #29 on: March 06, 2016, 10:15:46 PM »
That just makes him even more laughable.
Does he not realize that Japanese companies are going to target their main target audience, AKA the Japanese?
I mean yeah, sure, there are some series from Japan that sell better in the west (Sonic, and I believe Metal Gear), so they target the west more, but with a company like Nintendo?
I really really hope nobody actually thinks what he says is true.
read jitsu wa watashi wa

CrossEyed7

  • i can make this whatever i want; you're not my dad
« Reply #30 on: March 06, 2016, 10:31:36 PM »
Okay, new game; everyone pick your favorite quote from this one.

My pick: "Donkey Kong Country Something Freeze: When Rare made Donkey Kong Country 2, the game had PIRATES. Vikings are lame. The entire mythos of the game seems lame."
"Oh man, I wish being a part of a Mario fan community was the most embarrassing thing about my life." - Super-Jesse

BriGuy92

  • Luck of the Irish
« Reply #31 on: March 06, 2016, 11:23:29 PM »
Regarding A Link Between Worlds: "Why would I care to play a 16-bit-ish game in the year 2013?"

Isn't this the guy for whom gaming died in 1996? Why would he care to not play a 16-bit-ish game, ever?
Know the most important contribution of the organ Fund science girls type. It's true!

BP

  • Beside Pacific
« Reply #32 on: March 07, 2016, 01:46:04 AM »
"Nintendo hopes this will end 2d Mario."

heheheheheeehehehehehheheheeehehhheheeehheheheeeheheeh

I mean, that was said with the context of New Mario 2 and New Mario U being made at the same time for some reason. I agree that by all logic 3D World and Mario Maker SHOULD spell the end for New Super Mario Bros.--one is a natural evolution of SMB and the other is essentially all the SMB that you could ever want, and now would be an opportune time to just put it on hiatus again and really try doing new things with Mario, but that is never ever ever ever ever ever going to happen because at this point New Super Mario Bros. is like Nintendo's cup of coffee, a routine grind. If Nintendo hopes anything about 2D Mario it's that you won't notice that they aren't changing much and that you aren't tired of the Koopalings
All your dreeeeeeams begiiin to shatterrrrrr~
It's YOUR problem!

The Chef

  • Super
« Reply #33 on: March 07, 2016, 06:27:14 AM »
Hasn't it been four years since Mario U, though? I was under the impression Mario Maker would act as a sort of Mario outlet for Nintendo for the forseeable future, especially since it seems to be getting consistent significant updates.

« Reply #34 on: March 07, 2016, 08:24:06 AM »
He doesn't count Japan, as he sees it as a dying nation that is in serious decline.
 Only the west financially matters, it seems.

so Japanese money isn't money.

if anyone wants a chuckle, there's a great thread highlighthing the worst of Sean's double-think, failure to understand how game works, and general retardation.

Tavros

  • he was hello
« Reply #35 on: March 07, 2016, 02:27:00 PM »
"Wind Waker's style is atrocious"
I have a feeling he's the kind of person that calls Undertale a tumblr game and then says the Mother series is hipster garbage.
read jitsu wa watashi wa

The Chef

  • Super
« Reply #36 on: March 07, 2016, 02:59:11 PM »
He's so out of touch I don't think he even knows what a "tumblr" or "hipster" is.

BP

  • Beside Pacific
« Reply #37 on: March 07, 2016, 05:35:49 PM »
I think it's important for a games journalist to be transparent about their biases. That way the consumer can compare themselves to the journalist and make an informed decision. And I cannot tell what Malstrom looks for in a game. He's awfully inconsistent. But I can tell that he says a lot of things a 13-year-old says so maybe he hasn't gotten to a point where he can critically think about things like what makes a game good or bad.

Such as

Quote
Zelda is a RPG

literally the thing 13-year-olds are always saying when they don't know [dukar] and think they do
All your dreeeeeeams begiiin to shatterrrrrr~
It's YOUR problem!

CrossEyed7

  • i can make this whatever i want; you're not my dad
« Reply #38 on: March 07, 2016, 07:29:33 PM »
"Nintendo hopes this will end 2d Mario."
His theory there is that Miyamoto hates making 2D Marios now and wants to move on to 3D Mario but Nintendo is forcing him to make 2D Marios because they sell. And Malstrom thinks that if a game maker gets to make the game they want to make, they're being selfish and the game will suck.
"Oh man, I wish being a part of a Mario fan community was the most embarrassing thing about my life." - Super-Jesse

« Reply #39 on: March 08, 2016, 05:11:15 AM »
I think it's important for a games journalist to be transparent about their biases. That way the consumer can compare themselves to the journalist and make an informed decision. And I cannot tell what Malstrom looks for in a game. He's awfully inconsistent. But I can tell that he says a lot of things a 13-year-old says so maybe he hasn't gotten to a point where he can critically think about things like what makes a game good or bad.

Such as

literally the thing 13-year-olds are always saying when they don't know [dukar] and think they do
He means an Action RPG, like Gauntlet, or The Tower of Druaga. A Cross between Arcade action and Adventure RPG. Back then, this was revolutionary.

His theory there is that Miyamoto hates making 2D Marios now and wants to move on to 3D Mario but Nintendo is forcing him to make 2D Marios because they sell. And Malstrom thinks that if a game maker gets to make the game they want to make, they're being selfish and the game will suck.
Does he have any proof or evidence on this?

The Chef

  • Super
« Reply #40 on: March 08, 2016, 06:39:56 AM »
Of course he doesn't.

CrossEyed7

  • i can make this whatever i want; you're not my dad
« Reply #41 on: March 09, 2016, 12:12:21 PM »
Quote from: Malstrom
What makes a woman interesting to men?

The truth is that interesting women needs youth, big boobs, long legs, long hair, and an hourglass figure to be interesting to men. The more women go away from this, the less interesting they become to men. This is why women when inevitably age, they become more and more invisible to men. It is just Nature at work.
Quote from: Malstrom
And we should only hope that women wish to be depicted as sex objects for that is how they become love objects as well. No man wants to marry a women they aren’t attracted to. Last I checked, marriage rates were plummeting in the West. Perhaps journalists should strive for ‘positive change’ by suggesting to women to be depicted more as sex objects so they can attract a man for marriage before they get too old. That would truly help women and make men happier as well.
Quote from: Malstrom
It IS sad that women can’t find themselves sensibly portrayed in the games they play. It is not because the women in the games are ‘too attractive’, it is because the women playing them tend to be ‘too fat’. It is sad for women that they are fat. It is also sad for men. What John Walker should do is to advise women to get in shape and try to look like the depictions of women that men are attracted to. This would be ‘positive change’ we could all get behind.
[x]
holy [dukar] this guy's a ******
"Oh man, I wish being a part of a Mario fan community was the most embarrassing thing about my life." - Super-Jesse

Tavros

  • he was hello
« Reply #42 on: March 09, 2016, 02:47:46 PM »
He's the ****ing strawman people like Anita Sarkeesian use.
He is literally making everyone dumber by existing.
read jitsu wa watashi wa

ShadowBrain

  • Ridiculously relevant
« Reply #43 on: March 09, 2016, 10:09:59 PM »
It's like if a pick-up artist somehow became obsessed with the NES.
"Mario is your oyster." ~The Chef

« Reply #44 on: March 14, 2016, 08:29:12 PM »
I'm Back and I have found this. The date was from August 19, 2012
https://seanmalstrom.wordpress.com/2012/08/19/are-nintendo-developers-in-touch-with-the-market/

Quote
Every other game company seems to understand this. You don’t see Capcom making Street Fighter 5 where Guile talks about his feelings and Chun-Li wonders if she will ever get married. Characters in video games are just cool avatars for the players, nothing more.

"Tall, blond, and handsome -- you're my type of guy... But do you have to carry that hammer everywhere?" ~Chun Li, to Thor, Marvel VS Capcom 3: Fate of Two Worlds for the PS3 & XBOX 360.

The irony is that Malstrom would often fawn over stories, characters, and lore in PC Titles, like Ultima and Command and Conquer.
« Last Edit: April 22, 2016, 11:23:16 PM by 4 Game Freak »

The Chef

  • Super
« Reply #45 on: March 14, 2016, 08:40:55 PM »
To be fair, Ultima is a DnD-inspired RPG. That's a genre that kinda needs stories and heavy characterization.

BP

  • Beside Pacific
« Reply #46 on: March 15, 2016, 12:58:53 AM »
MvC3 isn't on PC

If it were I might be inclined to pick it back up. I plugged in my 360 (what a hassle) to play it, and I've forgotten how. heh

When I'm tired of Dead Rising 1 again it's going back into the Put Away Zone. Which sucks. What if I want to play Dead Rising 1 again later. Man.
All your dreeeeeeams begiiin to shatterrrrrr~
It's YOUR problem!

« Reply #47 on: April 04, 2016, 03:57:04 AM »
Can I ask Who Sean Malstrom is? I might have heard of him.
« Last Edit: April 04, 2016, 03:59:39 AM by Lakitu »
Bowser impostor in 5-4, Japanese god in real life!

The Chef

  • Super
« Reply #48 on: April 04, 2016, 09:42:11 AM »
For those who don't know of his existence, he's a businessman who looks upon the financial history of video games. And he loathes what it has become, especially regarding Super Mario Bros.

« Reply #49 on: April 07, 2016, 06:55:30 PM »
Thanks
Bowser impostor in 5-4, Japanese god in real life!

« Reply #50 on: December 05, 2016, 09:45:02 PM »
I apologize for bringing this topic back up. It's just another quote from Malstrom just irks me again.

I would LOVE for Bowser to have a military force at the end of the game. However, Nintendo, is so wimpy that it thinks this might be ‘too scary’. In fact, they won’t even show Bowser “die”. This is why he was ‘dragged out’ at the end of NSMB Wii. No one had any problem with Bowser dying in the Classic Mario games or Donkey Kong falling to his death in… Donkey Kong. Miyamoto needs to realize children are not frail little flowers. In fantasy, it is not that no one dies. It is that the bad guys die and find a way to ‘revive themselves’ for the sequel.

Did he... not pay attention to NSMB1 for the DS? Bowser was reduced to bones! His army weren't going to have a corpse for a leader!

And Donkey Kong didn't die! He was still twitching. If he was dead, then the plot for Donkey Kong Jr would be pointless(somewhat?).

*sigh* does anyone know a way to e-male Malstrom?

The Chef

  • Super
« Reply #51 on: December 06, 2016, 06:10:52 PM »
I thought you loved Sean Malstrom.

« Reply #52 on: December 08, 2016, 12:05:12 AM »
I thought you loved Sean Malstrom.
I never once said that.

I said he may have a point on certain stuff and has some actual historical experience on it.

Tough, what he recently said about Breath of the Wild does make him sound petty, whiny, and picky

CrossEyed7

  • i can make this whatever i want; you're not my dad
« Reply #53 on: July 19, 2017, 04:31:57 PM »
Some of his recent hot takes:

"ARMS won’t do well because of the anime stink. It’s amazing how Street Fighter 2 has none of the anime stink. Perhaps it is due to Capcom being so sporty."

"How was Splatoon? Is Splatoon 2 worth buying? I want to know if I should buy Splatoon 2. I hear many people say they get tired of it. While the game has an interesting atmosphere of urban schtock, it doesn’t match the atmosphere of something like Quake or Unreal Tournament. I question how long Splatoon can hold someone’s attention. PS- Japanese children are not allowed to give us their opinions. I am not a Japanese child!"

"What market reality tells us is the true black sheep of the series is Zelda: Wind Waker. That game did not sell as it should!" -- because that couldn't possibly have anything to do with every other Zelda game being on a better-selling console.

The reason Nintendo made a 2D Mario Maker instead of a 3D Mario Maker is they hate 2D Mario and want it to die because everything they do is in service of their ultimate goal to make a VR system where everything is in a 3D virtual world.

Metroid: Samus Returns doesn't count as a 2D Metroid because it's using 3D models; New Super Mario Bros is still 2D Mario tho.

and an email from a fan:
Quote
Your last post about video games and woman is priceless. Hahahahahahahahah! Look, I am a married man, but I could not agree anymore with this post. I say this not because I am an unhappy bitter married man, it honestly has nothing to do with that. I say this because I was extremely picky when I chose my woman.

“Why is he saying my woman?” Because I made her my woman. My woman is 9 years younger than me (no, I am not a pedophile, hahahahahahahahah) and I got her straight out of her parents’ arms. She is a woman with strong religious ( christian) and family values and she was a virgin.

For anyone who is considering being part of such institution: be extremely picky!
"Oh man, I wish being a part of a Mario fan community was the most embarrassing thing about my life." - Super-Jesse

« Reply #54 on: July 19, 2017, 11:56:22 PM »
New SMB uses 3D models too though. Even if it's on a 2D plane.
Kinopio is the ultimate video game character! Who else can drive a kart, host parties, play tennis, give good advice and items, and is almost always happy??

BP

  • Beside Pacific
« Reply #55 on: July 20, 2017, 02:26:49 PM »
ARMS won’t do well because of the anime stink.

nani the hell
All your dreeeeeeams begiiin to shatterrrrrr~
It's YOUR problem!

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