Here's the shocking conclusion to the UST!
Cranky: What in the heck just happened? The lights are out here at the UST! Since the lights are off, for those of you just tuning in, you have missed one heck of a night! First, Pikachu picked up the biggest win of his career so far with a big upset of Link, Jman beat Bowser, Jman then beat Ash in a steel cage match! Here we are now, Bowser vs Mario will continue as soon as we figure out who’s messing with the lights!
Diddy: Well, now the lights are back on! And the ref is out cold! How did that happen? Mario and Bowser continue to fight like nothing happened!
Cranky: Well, okay. Mario kicks Bowser in the face! Bowser glares at him! Bowser tackles Mario to the canvas, gets up, and gloats! Bowser is being extremely ****y! It’s like he knows he’ll win! I’m not saying he will, but you never know!
Diddy: Here comes DK to be a guest referee! I thought DK was injured! It must not have been too serious of an injury! The first thing DK does is try and separate Bowser and Mario! But they don’t want to be separated, and they throw DK out of the ring! Come on DK! DQ both of them for that!
Cranky: Why did they do that?
Diddy: So they could get back to destroying each other, and they don’t need a referee telling them to break it up! Waitaminute! Bowser’s got a trash can! Here comes Luigi Lover down to the ring! I swear, every time Bowser pulls out that accursed can, she runs down here!
Cranky: DK has managed his way back into the ring! Luigi Lover looks like she’s coming over here! Nope, she’s just going to grab a chair and sit at ringside to watch. Mario reverses a trash can shot into a DDT onto the trash can! That should do it! The champion will retain his title! 1,2, DK stopped counting! Come on DK! Count!
Diddy: DK counted 1,2 and then he stopped, when Mario had the match won! And now he grabs Mario! DK has Mario by the neck! No! DK NO! DK just chokeslammed Mario to the outside!
Cranky: DK has snapped! What the heck did he do that for? Here comes…Ash? NO! Why is he still here? I don’t believe it!
Ash: Ah, Mario. I see you’ve met the new and improved Donkey Kong!
Diddy: New and improved?
Ash: Ha ha ha! All you fools thought DK was injured! But my final act as GM of SSB I feel will be my best ever! I managed to turn your beloved DK into a monster! Now DK, show everyone what a monster is supposed to do! Destroy Mario!
Cranky: You gotta be kidding me! DK grabs Mario and slings him into the steel steps! Come on! The man’s already had two matches tonight! Leave him alone!
Diddy: Waitaminute! Here comes Luigi to the ring! Luigi coming to the aid of Mario! Luigi tries to beat up DK! But DK swings around to grab him! DK throws both brothers into the crowd! This is ridiculous!
Ash: So crowd, enjoy DK as much as you have enjoyed me as GM!
Cranky: The ultimate insult! Hey! LL tackles Ash to the floor! She’s flailing punches at him like mad! I heard she learned that move from Jman himself! OH no! DK grabs LL!
Diddy: Oh my gosh, what will he do to her? He drags her up the ramp! He’s got her by the hair over the edge of the stage! There’s a table about 10 feet below her! Don’t do it DK! Here comes Jman to try and talk DK out of tossing LL off the top of the ramp through that table! DK listens and he drops LL!
Cranky: Jman and LL start to walk away, but LL motions down toward the Mario brothers, who received a cruel beating from DK just moments ago! They’re walking down, but DK just grabbed Jman! LL turns around!
Diddy: NO! NO!!!!! DK JUST CHOKESLAMMED JMAN OFF THE RAMP THROUGH THE TABLE!!! Oh my gosh!!! Jman’s not moving! What the heck has Ash done to DK?
Cranky: We have run out of time! See you for the next SSB Live! We should have a report on Jman’s condition then! Goodnight, from the UST! Cranky and Diddy Kong signing off!
(Both go to join LL, the Mario brothers, and even Bowser, who are all checking on Jman.)
Proud to be an American!
