Super Smash Brothers: WWE style!

[Jman]

Diddy: Welcome back!  We are getting set for the main event, the Melee Rumble match!  Moments ago, Luigi ended Link's long reign as champion by climbing the ladder and snatching the belt! 

Cranky: As mentioned before, all of our championships have changed hands except for one.  Zelda never showed up tonight, and there was not a match scheduled for her to defend the Women's championship, so she will remain champ. 

Diddy: Meanwhile, Jack is in the locker room with Luigi and Daisy. 

Jack: Thanks again, Diddy.  I'm standing next to the new SSB champion Luigi!  Luigi, what was going through your mind as you climbed the ladder to glory?

Luigi: I knew Link was trying to cheat to keep the belt, so I decided I wasn't going to lose in that fashion, so I just climbed the ladder.  I can't believe this has happened!  All I wanted to do was get my hands on Link, and now I'm the champion!

Daisy: You sure are, Luigi!  I'm so proud of you!  Let's go out and celebrate!

Luigi: It's been great talking Jack, but me and my lady are going to go celebrate in style! 

(Luigi and Daisy leave)

Jack: There you have it.  The champion has left the building!  Back to you guys!

Diddy: Congrats to Luigi on winning the SSB championship!  Now, it's time for the rumble!  The only way to win the rumble is to be the last man standing when all of the fighters have come and gone.  Fighters are eliminated by leaving the ring over the top rope, and the winner gets an automatic title shot!

Cranky: That pretty much covers ground rules!  Here comes the first fighter! 

Diddy: It's Paper Luigi!  Alongside him are Lemmy Koopa, Mario, and Captain Falcon!  These are the first four fighters to enter the rumble!  Several fighters are making their debuts in this match, no thanks to poor planning on Ash's part!

Cranky: The referee is in the ring, the fighters roll in one by one!

Diddy: The last man standing in the ring becomes the #1 contender for the SSB championship which switched hands tonight!  I'm surprised Luigi left.  He won't know who his first challenger for his championship will be! 

Cranky: Aw, give him a break!  Let him enjoy his title, and he'll come back tomorrow and find out!

Diddy: SSB Live will get season 3 underway tomorrow night!  It's going to be a real gala event!  We will find out the future of the company under Ash Ketchum, and I'm sure Jman will have something to say about it!  The bell rings!  The Melee Rumble is underway!  Paper Luigi begins punching up on Captain Falcon!  Mario does the same to Lemmy Koopa! 

Cranky: Once someone is eliminated, there is about a 30 second interval before someone else comes in to replace them, so how long this battle royal is depends on how quickly fighters are thrown over the top rope!

Diddy: In the opening seconds, no one looks to be close as Mario now blocks himself against punches from Lemmy!  Paper Luigi still having his way with Falcon early on!  Now Mario takes Lemmy down with a clothesline!  Look at this!  Paper Luigi with incredible strength throwing Falcon over the rope!  Captain Falcon is the first elimination! 

Cranky: Paper Luigi taking a rest now.  He knows he has a long way to go if he wants to be around at the end!  Mario and Lemmy continue throwing punches at each other! 

Diddy: Paper Luigi getting set for the next fighter to enter the ring.  There's only about 10 seconds until another person enters the rumble!  PL catches his breath, and now the buzzer sounds, and here comes the next fighter!  It's Iggy Koopa!  Iggy coming down to the ring, and he will immediately come to the aid of his brother with a dropkick to Mario!  Lemmy with a neckbreaker! 

Cranky: Now Iggy goes over to PL, but the kid grabs him by the throat!  He throws Iggy into Lemmy, and the Koopa Twins are down! 

Diddy: Now PL and Mario square off!  Mario and the kid trading punches, but now the Koopa Twins double clothesline Mario!  Now they go for one on the kid, but he grabs them both by the throats!  Here comes a double choke...no wait!  He's going to drop them over the ropes!  The Koopa Twins are eliminated by the kid!  Now Mario comes back with a flurry of punches as we wait for new entries into the rumble! 

Cranky: Wait, what the heck?

Diddy: The lights have gone out!  I think we blew a fuse or something!  Ash ran the company so far into the ground we can't even pay our electrical bill!

Cranky: Well, as long as we have the time, let's recap the action leading up to right now! 

Diddy: That sounds good.  In our first match, the tag team titles were on the line, and the Ice Climbers defeated Wario and Waluigi to win the belts!  In match #2, Yoshi finally gave up the N.E. championship as he was pinned by Kirby.  Match #3 featured the return of Jman, leading to our victory over DK.

Cranky: Ash then came out and revealed the horrible truth that he now had ownership of SSB Live, and everything went crazy.  After settling down, we were treated to a tag team Steel Prison Slaughter match that saw Bowser, Paper Luigi, and Mario defeat Ash and his assassins, and finally, Link's reign as SSB champion ended as Luigi defeated him in a ladder match. 

Diddy: Now, we were in the middle of the SSB Melee rumble, but the lights have gone out, and now they are back on!  I wonder what that was all about?  Hey!  Jman's coming to the ring!  He's got a microphone!  Let's hear what he has to say! 

Jman: Mario, Paper Luigi, there's been a situation in the back that needs your help immediately!  Bowser told me to tell you guys the Rumble is finished!  Just get back there! 

Cranky: Situation?  Cameras, get us backstage when they go backstage!

Diddy: Oh no!  It's Jack!  Jack Harvest laying on the ground motionless!  What is going on here?

Ash: Just keep moving!  Get out of here before anybody finds out what's going on!

Ganon: Sure thing, boss! 

Diddy: It's Ganon!  And he's got Nana!  What happened to Popo? 

Jman: What the heck is going on back here?  Oh man!  Jack! (kneels beside Jack)  Jack, speak to me! 

Jack (just regaining consciousness): Jman...all the girls have been...abducted!!  Peach, Zelda, Nana, Daisy, all gone! 

Jman: Does Ash know about this?

Jack: He told me he planned it, right before he had Ganon blindside me! 

Diddy: Jman going off to find Ash...oh man!  He just found him!  Ash is running for his life!  He's running down the stage towards the ring!  Now he's in the ring with Jman in hot pursuit!  Jman now in the ring!  He caught Ash!  Ash wrecked the rumble, and now he's going to pay for it!  Jman turns him upside down!  Here comes a tombstone!  But wait!

Cranky: It's Donkey Kong and Dedede!  Dedede scores a low blow, causing Jman to drop Ash!  Now Ash beckons for his mini-army to enter the ring!  Here come Waluigi, Wario, and Ganon! 

Diddy: They are in the ring and now they begin their assault on Jman!  Somebody has to stop this!  Now the entire roster is standing on the ramp!  Mario begins to run to the ring! 

Ash: Not so fast!  Anyone who takes even one step towards this ring will be fired!  And you know you all can't be fired, because no one wants to be known as the one who caused the destruction of this company!  Whoever interferes in this beating will take the rap for the downfall of SSB Live!

Diddy: Now this I don't believe!  The entire roster has been immobilized by Ash!  Like he said, no one wants to be the scapegoat for the downfall of the company!  There's no one to help Jman now!  He's being taken apart by these monsters!  Oh no!  They've got a table in the ring!  Jman's neck has been placed on a steel chair!  They'll destroy his throat!  And DK's the one they're sending to the top rope!

Cranky: Wait a minute!  It's the Halberd!  How did...oh, the roof's open!  I don't believe this!  Meta Knight is swinging down from it! 

Diddy: Meta Knight isn't even a part of the roster, and here he is, landing in the ring, and kicking some major tail!  Speaking of tails, I don't believe it!  It's Sonic the Hedgehog and Tails!  Where are all these people coming from?  There's a brawl breaking out in the middle of the ring!  Ash can't do a thing, because none of these fighters are under his control! 

Cranky: Now Jman is standing tall with the help of Sonic and Tails!  They and Meta Knight arrived to help him!  The question is, why?  Where did they come from?

Jman: Ash, I can see that this whole kidnapping thing was a big hoax to lure me to you!  And I also see that you have your own army!  Why you have this many fans in the first place is beyond me, but all I have to say is that I have friends too!  Meet Sonic, Tails, and Meta Knight!  Just like me, they will stop at nothing to destroy your empire!  As for the rest of the roster, I can understand!  Don't go risking your job over me!  I'll be all right.  Now for all of those who want to see me, Sonic, Tails, and Meta totally chase Ash and his little fan club out of this arena, give a loud shout!

Diddy: That's about as long as it's been all night!  Ash on the run, but Jman and his new friends are just standing in the ring and laughing!  Jman has the last laugh tonight, but there are many questions to be answered.  The important one might be, what are we going to do about the #1 contender? 

Cranky: All of this will be revealed when season 3 of SSB Live premieres tomorrow night!  For Diddy Kong, I'm Cranky Kong, and this has been the Super Smash Brothers Melee!  Goodnight everybody!

[Jman]

Diddy: Welcome one and all to another season of SSB Live!  We are live from Peach's Castle in the Mushroom Kingdom!  We saw a lot of great action at the Melee last night, and there are some questions to be answered!  All will be revealed, but first, let's take a look back at the night that was!  With me as always, Cranky Kong! 

Cranky: Action is right, Diddy!  All of our championships changed hands except for one.  Zelda is still our SSB Womens' champion.  She never showed up last night.  No one really knows why, but whenever she does show up, she'll have to deal with the reality that her man Link is no longer champion!

Diddy: That's right Cranky!  The SSB championship belt is around the waist of Luigi Mario!  Link can't call him "player two" now!  He's literally #1!  Kirby became the new N.E. champion, and the Ice Climbers are the tag team champs!  Now let's move on to some of the lowlights of the night, (Ash's music begins playing)

Cranky: Speak of the devil, Diddy! 

Diddy: Here comes our new owner, Ash Ketchum!  Do not adjust your eyes, Ash Ketchum is in fact the new owner of SSB Live!  He ran the company into the ground after Jman's injury at the UST two years ago, and his subsequent time off!  He then bought the company for the price of a meal at a fast food restaurant!  Bowser is still the GM, and we'll find out about the direction of SSB tonight!

Ash: Greetings, ungrateful fans!  I am honored to bring you yet another season of my show, SSB Live! 

Cranky: I've never seen such a partisan reaction of negativity!  At the very least, the show is still going on! 

Ash: I'm sure you all have a lot of questions for me as to how I plan on running SSB Live, now that it is all mine!  Let me assure you that this season will be the best thing you ever saw.  As an answer to your first obvious question, who will be the contender, I am well aware that the kidnapping ruined the rumble.  I am also aware that the kidnapping was not a hoax!  The girls are missing, I haven't seen them since last night, and frankly, I'm not concerned about that at the moment!  Now, as I was saying...

(the crowd begins booing loudly)

Diddy: The girls are still missing and he doesn't care!  I don't believe this!

Ash: As I was saying, there's been a lot of speculation over why the rumble was wrecked.  I can tell you that it was all a grand plot to get Jman in the ring!  But before I get to him, I will tell you that we will not be having a "make-up" rumble.  No, I will choose a #1 contender for the championship!  That lucky person...is me!

Diddy: Oh you've got to be kidding!  Ash wants a shot at the belt! 

Cranky: Well, he's always been a control freak!  I liked him better when he was a kid on that Pokemon show!

Ash: Now let me get back to what I was addressing before...Jman!  The kidnapping was staged to get him into the ring for the final beating of his career!  But lo and behold, three fighters who were never authorized to enter the arena, flew down from the Halberd to save Jman from my mini army!  Meta Knight!  Sonic!  Tails!  I have a bone to pick with all three of you! 

(Luigi's music begins playing)

Diddy: Hey, it's the champ!  Luigi coming down to the ring!  He does not look happy!  He dives into the ring and grabs a nearby microphone!  What does the champion have to say?

Luigi: You know Ash, I came here tonight looking forward to learning the identity of the first person I'd have the pleasure of defending my SSB title against!  But not only did you purposely wreck the rumble, now you want to rob a deserving superstar of a title shot?  No, that's not how things should work around here!  I want to defend the title against someone who would actually be a challenge...let's see, that means it could be pretty much anyone but you!

Cranky: The champ telling it like it is! 

Diddy: Ash calling out Meta Knight, Sonic and Tails, but he didn't expect the champion Luigi!

Ash: Oh, you say you want a match worthy of a challenge?  Fine then.  Tonight, in the first main event of the season, you will face the new #1 contender in a steel cage.  In that cage it will be you, and Donkey Kong, for the Super Smash Brothers title!  Oh, and Luigi, I hope you're not too mad that Daisy won't be here to see you lose your championship! 

Diddy: There's a video showing on the screen!  It's Daisy!  Ganon is handling Daisy and throwing her in the back seat of a limo!  This is footage from last night!  This must have taken place during the brawl in the ring that ended the Melee!  Luigi's ticked off now!  He's going after Ash!  The owner ducks out of the ring!  The girls are still missing, it's all Ash's fault, and Luigi has to defend his title against DK later tonight!

(Backstage: Paper Luigi is lacing up his boots for a match against both of Ash's assassins)

Jman: Hey.

PL: Hey.

Jman: Just wanted to wish you good luck in your match tonight.  I know you've got some revenge to dish out against these guys for what they did to you last night! 

PL: Thanks.  Hey Jman?

Jman: Yeah?

PL: Nothing.  Just wanted to let you know there's some girl talking to Ash, and she's looking at you. 

Jman: Thanks for the hint.  Go smash those assassins!

(Jman walks over to the scene)

Ash: I told you before, I'm not letting anyone on this show right now!  Especially you!

Jman: Hey!  What's going on out here?  Well, if it isn't my good punching bag, Ash Ketchum!  Being mean to Jenny, I see.

Ash: How do you know this girl?

Jman: Simple.  I met her while on leave, and convinced her to join the brawl!  Now give this woman a contract before I slap that stupid smirk off your face.  And Jenny?  I'm sure I'll be seeing you around. 

(leaves)

Ash: (muttering) Lousy Jman...

[Jman]

Diddy: Welcome back to the season premiere of SSB Live!  Coming to the ring for our first match of the season, two fighters who faced off in, of all things, a footrace at the Melee last night!  Fox is in the ring, and Falco is coming down the ramp right now. 

Cranky: So Diddy, with the girls missing, that young lady Jenny that Jman was talking to before the break is the only lady on the roster right now! 

Diddy: We've got to find out information about them soon!  Fox and Falco are in the ring, and we are ready to go!  The bell rings, and these two lock up in the center of the ring!  Fox quickly trips up Falco and locks in an armbar!  But Falco escapes and kicks Fox! 

Cranky: This is the first time these two have faced each other in an actual wrestling match.  Falco had one or two matches last season, most notably he was upset by Pichu in his debut.

Diddy: Fox walks into a boot from Falco!  Here's a cover! 1,2, and Fox kicked out!  Now Falco starts working on Fox with some kicks to the head and body area.  Falco speeds across the ring and comes back with a flip onto Fox!  Both of these men are among the fastest of our fighters.  Fox comes back to his feet and catches Falco with a clothesline! 

Cranky: Did you hear that?  Ouch!  Fox now drops an elbow on Falco, and rolls up his leg! 1,2, kickout by Falco!  Fox gets back up and lands a couple of kicks to Falco's head. 

Diddy: These two men have a long history.  Not in the ring, but they've been together as a part of the Star Fox team for years!  Falco back to his feet, and he meets Fox's dropkick!  Now Fox leaps to the top rope!  A frontal flip connects!  Fox with a frontal flip onto Falco!  Here's a cover! 1,2, another kickout! 

Cranky: The two speedsters putting on quite a show here tonight!  Hey wait!  Someone's coming down to the ring!

Diddy: It's the assassins!  Ash's personal lackeys are in the ring, and they pull Fox off of Falco!  Fox is fighting, but now they've got him!  A facefirst plant to Fox!  The referee calls for the bell!  The match is over!  It's a no contest finish, and now the assassins have Falco!  Here comes another facefirst plant!  A promising, entertainting match between two longtime allies is crashed by Ash's lackeys!  They stand in the ring on top of the bodies of the two fighters they just demolished!

Cranky: Hey!  It's Jman and Paper Luigi!  PL faces off against one of these assassins later on tonight, but he'd love to get a piece early!  He's in the ring wailing on one of them, Jman's wailing on the other!  Now they clear the ring of both assassins! 

Diddy: What a team!  These guys should challenge the Ice Climbers for the tag team titles!  But then again, Nana's fate is still undetermined!  How about this!  Perfect timing!  I've just been notified that General Manager Bowser will give an update on the whereabouts of our missing female fighters!  That will come later in the evening!  Up next, Paper Luigi takes on one of these assassins laying outside the ring!

(backstage, Link storms into GM Bowser's office)

Link: Where's Ash?

Bowser: I don't know.  Why do you need to see him so bad?

Link: I want him to explain just where my Zelda's been taken! 

Bowser: I will be addressing this matter later on tonight.

Link: You'd better know where she is, or so help me I'll come back here and put both of you in the hospital!  (leaves)
(
Bowser looks on)

Diddy: A very enraged Link needs to get ready for a no DQ match against Kirby for the NE title!  That will be taking place after PL vs an assassin, which happens right now!  Both fighters are in the ring, and the bell tolls!  PL immediately dodges an attack by the assassin and knocks him down with a boot!  PL lands some kicks to the midsection!  Now a body splash! 

Cranky: Paper Luigi was planted by these assassins after helping Bowser beat Ash.  What did he get for his reward, Bowser turned on him and left him to this guy and his partner!

Diddy: Off the ropes and PL with a clothesline to the assassin!  He's getting pumped up! 

Cranky: Look at those arms!  I would not want to be caught in the ring with this kid!

Diddy: PL stalking his opponent, and now he hits a spear!  Oh my!  That has to be it!  Here's a cover! 1,2, and PL breaks his own count!  He sees Ash on the stage!  He'll just go back to thumping on the assassin he's facing!  Now he brings the overmatched fighter to his feet!  He stares back at Ash!  Now he grabs his opponent by the throat!  He wants to send a message to Bowser and Ash that they messed with the wrong guy!  Chokeslam connects! 

Cranky: What a chokeslam that was!  He is out!

Diddy:  Now he'll pick him up for Papercut!  That will connect!  Here's the cover! 1,2,3!  Paper Luigi wins his debut match on SSB Live!

Cranky: It's pretty obvious that PL didn't want to stick around for a long time when all he had to offer was a revenge beating on one of Ash Ketchum's lackeys! 

Diddy: Ash not happy at all! 

Ash: Paper Luigi, all you are is a giant bully!  We shall see how tough you really are when you face DK and Wario next week! 

Cranky: Wow!  All he did was beat one of Ash's lackeys, and now it's like he's a criminal! 

Diddy: That will go down next week, we still have action tonight!  Later on, we will find out from GM Bowser just what happened to the girls after the Melee, and coming up next, Link takes on Kirby for the NE title!
 

[Jman]

Cranky: Welcome back!  While we were on break, Jack Harvest caught up with Jman in the back!  Let's take you to that interview!

Jack: Jman, everyone wants to know just what your opinions are on the fast one Ash pulled last night, and why the girls are still missing.

Jman: First of all, I don't know who Ash thinks he is for having the entire female roster kidnapped!  I could care less about him putting me in the ring with his entire army of two bit lackeys!  But the fact that he seems to have hired Ganon for an act as heinous as this, really shows me that he's abusing his power as the owner! 

Jack: Jman, don't you think you're being a bit abusive?

Jman: No.  After what he's pulled in the past, he deserves the tongue lashing I'm giving him right now!  Ash Ketchum is a coward who needs to push others around in order to make himself feel powerful! 

(Ash walks up to the conversation)

Ash: I couldn't help but overhear your warm sentiments towards me, Jman.  If you think that I'm nothing but a coward, then I've got something for you!  Tonight, you will face my entire army!  That's Waluigi, Wario, Roy Koopa, and King Dedede!  You lucked out because DK and Link both have matches later tonight! 

Jman: You'd better bring those girls back, or so help me I'll...

Ash: Silence!  I suggest you think about the task at hand! 

(Hears a scream, Jman rushes to the scene to find Jenny)

Jman: Jenny!  What's the matter?  Oh no!

Diddy: It's Popo!  He's out cold!  We're live right now and Popo is out cold on the floor! 

Cranky: Everything is going haywire tonight!

Diddy: I wish I could elaborate more on this, but we've got to get to ringside for our next match!  Link vs Kirby, and it's Kirby's first defense of his newly won Nintendo Entertainment title!  Believe me, we will try and get an update as soon as possible, but the show must go on!  Chaotic happenings just keep occurring! 

Cranky: Here comes Link to the ring! 

Diddy: Link's the last person you'd expect to stand up against Ash.  Not because he's a coward, but because he's usually a jerk himself!  However, Link is visibly upset that Zelda's been kidnapped by Ganon and others!  I don't know if he's got taking the title from Kirby on his mind!

Cranky: Good point, Diddy!  I feel sorry for Kirby, because he's getting into the ring with an angry former champion! 

Diddy: Speaking of which, here comes Kirby right now!  The crowd rising to their feet and cheering for their new NE champion!  Kirby and Link's rivalry took a brief backseat when

Luigi began chasing Link and the SSB championship!  Now it's on again!  Kirby and Link set to go one on one, with Kirby's new championship gold on the line! 

Cranky: Before we start this match, I'd like to announce that we do have an update on what happened backstage.  Apparently, Popo was ambushed by Ash's assassins because the owner took exception to some threats the tag champion made concerning his safety! 

Diddy: The bell rings, and the match is underway! 

Cranky: Popo has been taken to the locker room to recover from this brutal attack.

Diddy: Can you blame Popo?  He's upset just like Link is over Zelda's disappearance!  Link in the ring throwing Kirby backwards into the ropes!  Now he goes for a big clothesline, but Kirby ducks under it!  This match is no disqualification, so anything goes!  There are chairs and tables and whatever under the ring! 

Cranky: We could see one heck of a match here tonight! 

Diddy: Kirby trying to knock Link down!  Now he nails the former SSB champion with a reverse neckbreaker!  Link is down, and Kirby goes outside the ring to grab a weapon!  He's got a table!  He'll toss that to the side and grab a chair!  Now he'll head back towards the ring!

Cranky: Look out!

Diddy: Link with a baseball slide under the ropes to knock Kirby down!  Now he'll slip under the ropes and survey the damage!  Kirby taking too long to grab his weapon of choice, and he paid for it!  Now Link slugs it out with Kirby outside the ring!  He'll grab the champion and sling him into the steel steps! 

Cranky: You can just see the frustration on Link's face!  So much has happened to him in the last 24 hours!  Luigi beat him for the SSB title, and now Zelda's been kidnapped.  The only reason he's here tonight is because he has this match!  Otherwise, I believe he'd be out searching for Zelda!

Diddy: Link in complete control here as he pulls Kirby into a clothesline!  He almost took off the champion's head that time!  Now, it's kind of odd that this match is no-DQ, yet the only place one can claim victory is in the ring!  Usually these kind of matches are of the "falls-count-anywhere" variety!  In that case, Link could have won the match right there!  Now Link grabs the chair Kirby was going to use on him!  And he bashes Kirby's head!  Kirby goes down like a stone! 

Cranky: Ooh, that could be it right there!  Kirby is on the ground writhing in pain, and Link stands over him with the chair and hits him again!

Diddy: If the first shot didn't put him out, that second one more than likely did!  Link rolls Kirby back into the ring!  Here's a cover! 1,2, and Kirby just got the shoulder up!  How did he kick out after being hit twice with that chair?  Link pulls the champion to his feet!  Looking for a huge clothesline, but Kirby rolled out of the way, and the referee is nailed by Link!  The NE title is on the line, Kirby and Link slugging away at each other with the referee down!   

Cranky: Kirby kicks Link in the gut!  Trying to go for a facebuster, but Link counters and shoves Kirby away!

Diddy: Kirby walks into a big boot!  Link able to catch Kirby again after it appeared the Star Warrior had gained some momentum!  Now he'll grab the Warrior and attempt the Hyrulian Slam!  Kirby counters and hits a DDT!  Both men are down!  Now Kirby slowly gets to his feet and leaves the ring!  He'll go out and grab the table!  Kirby has some plans, and they don't look good for Link!

Cranky: Kirby bringing the table into the ring!  Wait a second!  Kirby being attacked from behind!  It's King Dedede!  A mallet shot from Dedede lays Kirby out!  Kirby is down, Link has returned to his feet, and now he sees Kirby prone to attack! 

Diddy: Link rolls Kirby onto the table!  If he puts Kirby through the table here, it'll be all over!  He lifts Kirby for the Hyrulian Slam!  We're going to have a new champion! 
Ganon(on big screen): Oh Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiink!

Cranky: What the...it's Ganon!  Ganon addressing Link on the big screen!  Link drops Kirby and turns around! 

Diddy: Link was about to deliver a crushing Hyrulian Slam on Kirby through the table after Dedede interfered, only to have Ganon distract him! 

Ganon: I guess you are wondering what happened to Zelda last night!  I have that answer for you now.  Yes, there's something that Ash Ketchum has kept from you and all your little friends!  I was the one who kidnapped Zelda, along with all of the other girls!  In fact, there's someone who's dying to see you! (grabs Zelda by the hair)

Zelda: Link!  Link!  Save me!  Help me please! 

Ganon: Shut up! (shoves Zelda to the floor)

Diddy: Has Ganon been abusing the girls like that the whole time?  Link is distraught! 

Ganon: Well, that's all I have to say!  I'll be seeing you!

Diddy: Link can't believe it!  He turns his head and walks into a chair shot from Kirby!  Now Kirby will take him up top!  Starslam connects!  Here's a cover by Kirby! 1,2,3!  Kirby retains!  After all that, Kirby retains! 

Cranky: When Link wakes up from that shot, I can guarantee you that all he'll be seeing is that disturbing image of Ganon laying his hands on Zelda!  And what of Peach, Nana, and Daisy?  I think we need a break!  We'll be back!

[Jman]

Diddy: Welcome back to the show!  We were enjoying a no DQ match between Kirby and Link with the NE title on the line, when this happened! 

Ganon: Oh Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiink!

Diddy: Ganon addressing Link from some unknown location, but the real shocker came when he physically shoved Zelda to the floor.  Link was distracted long enough for a chairshot, and a victory for Kirby!  Boy, and you have to feel sorry for him right now!  Yes, he was a real jerk most of the time, but he lost his championship last night, and now Zelda's in danger, and we just need to find out what the heck is going on!  Here comes general manager Bowser!  Finally, some answers!

Cranky: We can only hope.  The GM rolls into the ring. 

Bowser: Hello fans and concerned persons.  As promised, I am out here to deliver a message sent from Ganon himself with regards to the female fighters who were kidnapped last night during the climax of the Melee!  It says here that he's keeping them as hostages until he can get Link in the ring!  He also says to pick 5 fighters for a special 5 on 5 match to be held next week on SSB Live! 

Diddy: A huge main event for next week!

Bowser: If the SSB team can beat Team Ganon, then the girls are free to go.  If not, there will be a long road toward getting them back!  I assure you we are doing our best to remedy this situation.  That is all. 

Cranky: A 5 on 5 match next week, and Ganon wants Link in the ring?  What a show we should have next week! 

(backstage, Link is heading for the exit.  He finds himself face to face with Luigi.)

Link: Outta my way...champ.

Luigi: Where are you going?

Link: I'm not waiting another day!  I'm going to the streets to find Ganon and whip his butt all over the Mushroom Kingdom!  I guess we're supposed to recruit a team to fight whoever Ganon manages to scrap up!

Luigi: Yes.  I'm leading this team, and I was planning on asking my brother, Jman, PL, and Popo. 

Link: But I thought Popo got hurt earlier tonight!

Luigi: I was getting to that.  I heard about his injuries, and that leaves one more spot on the team.  I know we've had our differences in the past, but there's bigger things to consider!  How about it Link?  Care to join Team Luigi?

Link: If it means saving Zelda, then yes. 

Luigi: Good.  I'm going to go tell Bowser to tell Ganon that we are ready for anything.

(Luigi leaves, Link continues towards the exit)

Diddy:  Where the heck is Link going?  He doesn't even know where Ganon is!  Well, like Luigi said, Popo did suffer some injuries as a result of the mysterious beating administered to him earlier tonight.  The doctor's prognosis is that he will be out for a week with some minor injuries. 

Cranky: Boy, the next two matches were made by Ash to punish two men who talked themselves into a corner.  Those men are Luigi and Jman. 

("The Hero" begins blasting on the speakers)

Diddy: Here comes Jman right now!  He's out here for a rare match!  He's only fought Ash so far, along with a match against some jobber he had a score to settle with!  How's he going to survive this, though?  Coming up next, we will see Jman face off against Ash's army minus Link and Donkey Kong! 

[Jman]

Diddy: We are back here on SSB Live, getting ready for a match where Ash has stacked the deck in his favor!  He overheard Jman talking smack about him backstage and ordered this match to be made!  Jman is taking on 4 men in a handicap match!  Those four men are Wario, Waluigi, Dedede, and Roy Koopa!  Jman's in the ring, and now his opponents will come to the ring all at once, accompanied by Ash's theme song, the theme from the original Pokemon television show! 

Cranky: I do not like his chances right now!  Jman's a great fighter and all, but a four on one assault is in his immediate future! 

Diddy: The good news is, only one fighter can be in the ring at a time!  If the entire gang rushes into the ring at any time, the match will be considered a draw, which is probably the best Jman can hope for at this point!  Now Ash comes out on the ramp!  What does he want now?

Ash: I do hate to interrupt, but I think the bookies screwed this match up!  It should be a no disqualification match!  Anything goes!  Break his ankle, guys!

Cranky: Well, scratch any sort of draw!  Jman's being thrown to the dogs by our chairman!

Diddy: Jman's career may end tonight!  He could be put out of action for a long time by these proverbial dogs!  The bell rings, and Wario begins the match by low blowing Jman!  No DQ, anything goes!  Wario with a body splash to Jman!  Now he drags the former chairman to his feet!  And a shot to the back!  Jman goes down hard! 

Cranky: Waluigi passes a chair into the ring for Wario!  He's stalking Jman now!

Diddy: Wario with a shot with the chair!  That was one heck of a chairshot!  A normal match would be over, but Ash instructed his men to break Jman's ankle!  Wario with a chairshot to the ankle!  And another!  And another!  Wario keeps smashing Jman's ankle with that chair!  Now he'll tag in Roy Koopa!  Roy will put Jman's leg through one side of the chair, and you've got to wonder what's going on!     

Cranky: I think I've got your answer!  Dedede's going to the top rope!  Here comes a flying move from the top turnbuckle! 

Diddy: He just crushed Jman's ankle!  Jman writhing in pain!  Waluigi has a table!  He'll set it up and begin stomping away at the prone Jman!  Our former chairman is in dire straits here!  Now Waluigi will tag in Roy Koopa!  Roy will roll Jman onto the table!  Now he'll get on himself!  He pulls Jman to his feet!  Roy goes to grab Jman, but Jman punches him!  Jman fighting back! 

Cranky: He knocks Roy down, but they are both still on the table!  Jman hopping on one leg!  His ankle was crushed just moments ago by King Dedede! 

Diddy: Jman going for the reverse neckbreaker!  He hits it!  He just put Roy through the table!  Both Roy and Jman are down!  Jman rolls into a cover! 1,2, and Dedede breaks up the three count!  Now he stomps away at Jman, and the referee tells him to leave the ring while Roy climbs back to his feet. 

Cranky: Roy brings Jman to his feet, and now Jman, while hopping on his good leg, throws punches at Roy!  Jman fighting for all he's worth, but Wario comes into the ring and clotheslines him to the ground! 

Diddy: You can blame Ash for that one!  That's a disqualification in a regular match, but this is no DQ, it's all legal!  Now all four soldiers of Ash's army are in the ring!  Jman's getting all kinds of things kicked out of him!  Hey!  It's Sonic!  Sonic the Hedgehog has arrived just in time, and now he's throwing lighting quick punches at Ash's army!  Sonic with a supersonic clothesline knocking Roy Koopa over the top rope! 

Cranky: Now Tails and Meta Knight join the brawl!  They knock the others out of the ring!  Sonic helps Jman to his feet!

Diddy: He can hardly walk!  This may keep him out of action for awhile!  Hey wait, the match never ended!  I think Meta and the others were just made aware of that by Jman himself!  They'll leave the ring, and now it's Roy Koopa and him, face to face!  Jman will kick Roy in the gut!  Turns him upside down!  Here it comes!  The Tombstone Piledriver!  He hits it!  Jman hits the tombstone!  It's over!  Here's a cover! 1,2, and wait a minute!  Someone just pulled Jman off of Roy...it's Iggy Koopa! 

Cranky: Iggy Koopa has come out and attacked Jman for some random reason!  He cost him the match! 

Diddy: Jman grabs Iggy!  He's going to tombstone him as well!  What the heck?  It's Ash!  Ash Ketchum has seen enough!  Ash is in the ring, and he's got a chair!  To the back of
Jman!  But wait!  Jman didn't go down!  He turns around and stares at Ash!  Now he'll lunge at the chairman!  Ash ducks out of the way!  Jman turns around!  Look out!

Cranky: Iggy with a chair!  Jman's head is rattled!  Now he'll go down! 

Diddy: Roy will pick up the former chairman!  He hits the Super Koopa Slam for good measure!  Here's the cover! 1,2,3!  Ash Ketchum cost Jman the match!  Bodies strewn all over the place here at ringside!  But the most impressive thing is that Jman put up a fight even after Dedede crushed his ankle with a chair! 

Cranky: Yeah, but the damage has been done!  Jman won't fight again for awhile!  Now what?

Diddy: Here comes Donkey Kong to the ring!  Everyone scatters but Jman!  They've got to get him out of there!  Sonic climbs into the ring and does just that!  DK arriving with a mission: win the SSB championship from Luigi!  DK was named the #1 contender by Ash earlier tonight!  What's been a crazy show is about to have a crazy conclusion!  When we come back, it's the main event!  Donkey Kong vs Luigi in a steel cage for the SSB title! 

[Jman]

Link: Where is that lousy Ganon, anyway?  (Enters a warehouse type building.)  Hello? 

(Link is oblivious to Ganon appearing behind him with a steel pipe)

Link: Why don't you come out and show yourself, coward?

Diddy: We're back on SSB Live, and has it ever been a crazy season premiere!  Moments ago, Jman took on Ash's army, minus DK and Link.  Jman suffered some damage to his ankle, and just when it looked like he might overcome everything, after some help from his friends Sonic, Tails and Meta Knight, Ash Ketchum provided a distraction, and Roy Koopa got the pin after a chairshot by Iggy Koopa!  Cranky, I thought Iggy was one of the good guys! 

Cranky: I did too!  Though you never could be sure.  He is Bowser's offspring!  I didn't see Lemmy come to Jman's aid, either!  I think we will have to keep an eye on those two!

Diddy: We are just moments away from our main event!  Early on in the show, Luigi challenged Ash's authority, and Ash forced him into a title defense in a steel cage against Donkey Kong! 

Cranky: Speaking of the champion, here he comes!  Luigi makes his way down to the cage to face DK with his title on the line!  How will Luigi survive vs the giant?

Diddy: I don't know, Cranky!  This right here might be the end of Luigi's title reign!  Now Luigi rolls into the ring, and the cage is lowering onto the ring.  We are getting ready for our main event!  While we're waiting, let's go back to something that happened during our last break! 

Cranky: Yeah, that young lady Jenny McCalister came down to the ringside area and helped Sonic take Jman to the back. 
(
Clip) (Jman laying on the couch in the locker room)

Jenny: Here you go. Some more ice for your leg. 

Jman: Thanks.  You know Jenny, you need to be careful out there.  Ash Ketchum is a dangerous man, and his armies might do to you what they did to me if you cross them!

Jenny: Believe me, I know Ash inside and out.  He's my cousin.

Jman: Well, I guess that can...wait, what?  Did you just say...?

Jenny: Yes.  Ash is my cousin. 

Jman: If I weren't already, I'd suggest letting me lay down to try and take this in! 

(Clip ends)

Diddy: So, we found out a very interesting bit of trivia!  One that could really affect some people down the road!  Anyway, Luigi and DK are in the ring, the cage has sealed them in!  We are ready to go!  The main event is underway here on SSB Live!  Luigi and DK have a staredown in the middle of the ring!  Luigi with a punch to the monster, but he gets flattened for his troubles!  He's back up in a hurry, and throws an elbow at DK!  Now he bounces off the ropes and ducks a DK clothesline!

Cranky: Dropkick to the midsection!  Luigi trying to pick his spots carefully!

Diddy: That he is!  Now he runs towards DK from the back!  Here comes a facebust attempt!  No!  DK stands up with Luigi hanging onto him!  And DK backs into the wall of the cage!  Luigi still hanging on!  DK slams Luigi into the wall again!  One more time, and Luigi falls from DK's back!  Make no mistake, that hurts!  Luigi rolling on the ground in pain.  DK grabs him and bashes his head on the cage wall!  He'll grab him again and do the same thing! 

Cranky: DK is in complete control right now!  Keep in mind that there are two ways to achieve victory here.  One would be to pin your opponent.  The other, climb out of the cage!  Luigi's in bad shape to do either right now though!

Diddy: DK ramming Luigi into the wall like a battering ram!  Luigi falls to the ground again!  DK wearing down the champion, trying to take the belt from him after just one night of Luigi being champion!  Donkey Kong is the "big man" in Ash Ketchum's army, and he along with Ash's other pals are running around SSB Live like a mafia, taking out anyone who speaks ill of their boss!  Here's DK with a vicious clothesline, knocking Luigi for a loop!  Here's a cover!  We may have a new champion!  1,2, Luigi just got the shoulder up! 

Cranky: So close to having a new champion!  DK will hoist Luigi up for the chokeslam!  Here we go.  It's going to be over in a moment!  DK for the chokeslam, oh but Luigi countered! 

Diddy: Luigi countered into a DDT!  Both men are down as he stunned DK!  Now he struggles to get up!  Luigi's going to climb the cage!  I don't believe this!  After DK punished him, he still looks like he's going to win this thing!  Luigi almost to the top!  He's sitting on the top of the cage now!  Luigi's going to retain his championship!  But now he looks down on DK!  Luigi's got that look in his eyes...oh no! 

Cranky: Luigi setting himself up for a leap!  Diving headbutt from the top of the cage! 

Diddy: DK rolled out of the way!  Luigi got a little too overzealous!  DK to his feet, looking down at the fallen champion!  He'll grab him now and throw him into the side of the cage!  Luigi writhing in pain on the ground.  Now DK grabs him by the neck!  Here comes a chokeslam!  But Luigi countered again!  Luigi kicks DK in the gut!  No way! 

Cranky: He can't do it!  Not a Luigi Bomb on the giant ape!

Diddy: Luigi Bomb!  Luigi hits the Luigi Bomb!  He rolls into a cover! 1,2, DK kicked out of the Luigi Bomb!  No one has ever done that!  Luigi rolling to his feet, and now he climbs the cage!  Luigi couldn't pin the monster, so now he goes for the escape!  DK sits up, and now he stumbles to the cage and begins climbing as well!  He's caught Luigi!  Luigi deals a strike to him, but now DK gets him by the neck!  A chokeslam from about halfway up the cage!  Luigi just fell through the ring!  There's a big hole in the floor!

Cranky: That's it!  Luigi's reign will last one night!  DK's got it won!  DK's over the top, and we have a new...hey wait!  Luigi just rolled out from under the ring!  I don't believe it!

Diddy: Luigi found a way out from under the ring before DK could crawl over the top of the cage!  The bell has rung!  Luigi's still champion!  DK is livid!  He shoves the referee out of the way and begins beating on Luigi!  Luigi can't do anything about it, because he's still recovering from the explosive chokeslam that drove him through the ring! 

(Ganon appears on the big screen)

Ganon: I like what I see!  DK!  Finish him off!  I've already done away with Link!

Diddy: What the?  Link actually found Ganon's secret hideout?  Now Ganon telling DK to finish off Luigi!  The giant ape has a sledgehammer!  He stalks Luigi as the champion tries to get back to his feet!  Wait a minute!  Here comes Mario!  Paper Luigi right behind him!  They double team the big ape!  Now here come King Dedede and Wario!  Waluigi is right behind them!  Now it's a 4 on 2 assault! 

Cranky: These must be the fighters Ganon chose to fight alongside him next week in that 5 on 5 match! ("The Hero" starts playing.) Ohhhhh yeah!!!

Diddy: It's Jman!  He's hobbling on that injured leg, but he's got a chair!  He takes out Dedede!  He takes out Wario!  A hard chair shot to Waluigi!  Now he comes face to face with DK!  DK grabs the chair and throws it away!  He grabs Jman by the throat!  Now Luigi breaks up the attack!  Luigi hoists DK again!  He hits another Luigi Bomb!  Now Jman grabs DK!  How is he lifting the big guy on that injured ankle?  I don't believe it!  A tombstone! 

Cranky: Ganon's come back on the screen again!

Ganon: Blast!  My plan to eliminate Luigi failed!  It doesn't matter though, because I've taken out Link, and after next week, I'll be keeping these lovely ladies with me! 

Jman: Bring it Ganon!  I just destroyed your whole band of lackeys!  I can't wait until I can get these suckers in the ring and get the female fighters back where they belong!

Ganon: Talk as you will Jman.  Next week's match will actually have rules, so you won't have your little equalizer to help you!  Not to mention you'll be a man short!  So get ready to lose next week! 

Diddy: Ganon laying down the law for next week!  Jman and his allies stand tall tonight, but they will be a man short for that 5 on 5 which is now a 5 on 4 match!  We're glad you joined us for our season premiere, and we'll be back next week!  For Cranky and the rest, I'm Diddy Kong, and we will see you next week!

[Jman]

Diddy: Super Smash Brothers is live once again tonight!  Diddy and Cranky Kong here at ringside, Jack and Ness in the back per usual!  We have got one doozy of a main event tonight!  5 of our best against Ganon and 4 of his lackeys!

Cranky: Unfortunately, we learned late last week that Ganon took out Link when the former SSB champion found his hideout!  So, it's really a 5 on 4 match, and this stacks the deck in favor of Link's adversary!

Diddy: That is, unless Luigi can find a replacement for Link!  And...("The Hero" starts playing)

Cranky: Here comes Jman to kick this show off the right way! 

Diddy: Jman still with a noticeable limp from last week when King Dedede crushed his ankle with a steel chair!  This gives team Luigi a serious disadvantage with Link out period, and Jman banged up!  They've got a tall order ahead of them!  Jman in the ring now.

Jman: Last week, right here on SSB Live, we found out that Ganon kidnapped all of the female fighters and has been holding them hostage since the end of the Melee two weeks ago!  Then, Ash put me in a 4 on 1 match against his fan club, and that fat sack of crap King Dedede crushed my ankle!  I don't know about you, but I'm ready to kick the stuffing out of somebody here tonight! 

(Paper Luigi's music starts playing)

Diddy: Paper Luigi looking pumped up as he hits the ring, staring at his friend. 

PL: You know something, Jman?  I'm as ticked off as you are!  I mean, what is Ash's deal?  Just because I beat up one of his precious bodyguards, he puts me in a match against two of the biggest, baddest men in the entire locker room!  Jman, you wanna know what I think? 

Jman: Sure!

PL: I think the two of us should team up and make it a tag match! (Ash's music hits)

Diddy: Talk about a major buzzkill!  Ash Ketchum has heard enough from Jman and Paper Luigi!  Ash standing on the ramp, refusing to step into the ring with those two! 

Ash: Whoa PL!  I don't think so!  You forget one thing!  I am the owner of SSB Live, therefore I decide what happens, and your match will go on as scheduled, a no-disqualification handicap match against Donkey Kong and Wario!  But, if you are so self-conscious about your ability to fight two men alone, I have provided a partner for you!  No no no, it's not who you think...this partner's identity is a secret, and will be revealed to you right before your match tonight!  See, I can be fair!  Now you two get out of my ring so the show can begin! 

Jman: Ash, we've been over this a million times!  This never has, is not, and never will be your ring!  Anyway, aren't you late for your weekly manicure? 

Cranky: Ash is flipping out on the ramp!

PL: Hey, wait a minute Jman!  Are you sure he can even afford one with the way he's been running Super Smash Brothers lately?  I'd be surprised if Ash could even afford one night in a trailer park with a gourmet meal of Burger King cheeseburgers!

Ash: Now, you wait one second!  The fun and games are about to end!  You want a tag match, you got it!  Next week, you will team against my entire army, in the main event!  One more thing, it will be falls count anywhere!  Have fun!

Jman: Oh gee Ash, thank you for letting us fight your fan club!  All 6 members!  I've got a little message for 'em all!  Bring...it...on! 

Diddy: Ash is leaving the area, Jman and Paper Luigi will be in the main event next week, and we've still got a whole show to go! 

Cranky: And believe me, we have quite a show for you tonight!  Our opening match, coming up next, Lucario makes his SSB Live debut!  We'll be right back!

[Jman]

Diddy: We're back on Live!  Moments ago, Jman and Paper Luigi had a verbal sparring match with the owner of SSB Live, Ash Ketchum.  During the proceedings, Ash made PL's upcoming match tonight a tag match, but would not reveal the identity of his partner.  I guess we'll just have to wait until later tonight!

Cranky: That wasn't all!  He made a main event match for next week, pitting Jman and PL against his army consisting of DK, Wario,

Waluigi, Dedede, Iggy Koopa, and Roy Koopa!  It's also a falls-count-anywhere match, that should be interesting.  But that's next week.  We still need to get this week's show officially underway!

Diddy: And the way we'll do that is with a match!  Here comes the newest addition to the Live roster, Lucario!  He's a ninja, as well as a Pokemon, and we shall see how he does against his opponent!  And here comes, oh boy!

Cranky: Apparently this is some kind of tune-up match for later tonight, or I'm seeing things!  Our newest newcomer is facing Donkey Kong in his debut! 

Diddy: Who the heck sanctioned this match?  Oh yeah, Ash.  But look at Lucario!  Wasting little time as he dropkicks DK before the big ape can get in the ring!  Lucario coming for another shot!  Uh oh!  DK grabbed his leg!  He whips the newcomer out of the ring, and slams him on the floor! 

Cranky: Lucario was trying anything to get the upper hand, but DK's just too big and strong!  I do not like his chances here! 

Diddy: DK slings Lucario into the steel steps outside the ring!  Now he walks over and look at this!  He's pressing the new guy over his head, and he throws him over the top rope, into the ring!  DK climbs into the ring now, and he's got that hand reaching skyward!  It's chokeslam time!  He grabs Lucario, and, no!  Lucario counters with a kick, knocking DK back a bit!

Cranky: He's got fighting spirit, that's for sure!  DK goes for a clothesline!  He missed!  Got the ref, though!

Diddy: The referee has been knocked into tomorrow morning thanks to DK!  Lucario sees this and grabs a chair from the outside!  Here he comes, and he gets DK with a chair shot!  Now another!  The referee is still down, and Lucario is bashing away at DK with his chair!  Now he'll toss his chair away!  DK is down!  Lucario has taken advantage of a break, and it may just net him his first win!  He falls on DK!  Here's a cover! 1,2, DK kicks out at 2 and a half! 

Cranky: Lucario stalking DK!  He bounces off the ropes as DK comes to his feet!

Diddy: DK caught him!  DK caught Lucario and now he's got him by the neck!  Here's a thunderous chokeslam!  DK covers! 1,2,3!  DK spoils Lucario's debut!  You've got to hand it to him, though!  Lucario came in here with the will to win, and he probably would have beaten anyone else more in his league!  The problem is, DK's just too big for a smaller fighter to compete against!

Cranky: Wait Diddy.  It's not over yet!  DK's got a table!  He sets it up in the middle of the ring!  Lucario is rolled onto it!

Diddy: DK's going to put Lucario through a table!  He's making an example of this newcomer for Jman and PL next week, as well as later tonight!  DK is going to the top rope!  The match is over, but DK is about to do some serious damage to Lucario!  Wait a minute!  It's Luigi!  The SSB champion is pulling Lucario off the table!  DK takes a chairshot to the head!  Oh my!  DK just plunged through the table! 

Cranky: Lucario and Luigi shaking hands as they walk up the ramp!  DK was going to do a number on the rookie, but the new Super Smash Brothers Heavyweight Champion denied him the pleasure! 

Diddy: These two will face off as part of the epic ten man survival match in our main event later on tonight!  Ganon has promised to bring back the women of SSB Live if Team Luigi wins that match!  However, Team Luigi is going to be shorthanded, as Link allegedly suffered some injuries at the hands of Ganon last week!  For now, we are going to take a break!  We'll have some more hot action when we come back!

[Jman]

Diddy: Here we are looking at the backstage area, and there's the lovely Jenny McCalister.  She's the only female smasher in the building right now.  We were going to have a battle royal to determine the next #1 contender for the SSB Womens' championship, which is still held by Princess Zelda, tonight, but the ladies are still missing.

Jman: Hey Jenny.

Jenny: Ash really wasn't happy at those things you said.

Jman: Oh good.  That's what I was shooting for.  Say, you wanna mosey on down to ringside to watch the next match?  My good pal Paper
Luigi is in it.  The thing is, he has a secret partner.  Ash said it wasn't me, but if it isn't, then who is it?

Jenny: I'm sure we'll find out soon enough!  I'd love to go down there! (They leave)

Diddy: Sounds like we're going to have a couple guests here at ringside!  Speaking of our next match, it's about to begin!  Here come DK and Wario down to the ring!  These two men have made it big as members of Ash Ketchum's "fan club," as Jman calls them.  Speaking of Jman, it's good to see him walking around after that injury he suffered at the hands of King Dedede last week!

Cranky: That it is.  Jman did all that he could, but the numbers game was just too much for him!  Well, here comes Paper Luigi! 

Diddy: This was originally a handicap match, but Ash threw in a "mystery partner" for PL's benefit.  Listen to this crowd, they are on fire for Paper Luigi!  He runs down to the ring and gets right in the face of DK!  These two really have some animosity towards each other!  Now Ash Ketchum is on the ramp!

Ash: And now, the moment you've all been waiting for, Paper Luigi's partner in this tag team matchup!  You see, I had to match PL up with someone who shared his athletic ability.  Therefore, Paper Luigi, your partner is, my cousin, Jenny McCallister!

Diddy: What?  You've got to be kidding me!  Ash is throwing his own relative to the dogs!  Look at PL, he can't believe it!  There's Jenny being led to the ring by Ash!  Only him, Cranky!  Only Ash could come up with something this ridiculous!  He's putting his own cousin in the ring with three other men!  Two of those men happen to not like her because she sides with Jman!

Cranky: He shoves her into the ring!  This is unbelievable!  Jenny will start the match off against Wario! 

Diddy: This is basically a handicap match!  We haven't seen Jenny in the ring yet, but I can tell you she doesn't stand much of a chance of out muscling Wario or the big ape, DK!  Jenny tries to tag out, but Wario grabs her!  This is sick!  Wait a second!  Jman climbs onto the ring!  He flies from the third rope!  A diving clothesline to Wario!  It's no DQ, anything goes!  Jenny makes the tag to PL, and here he comes!  Paper Luigi cleans house! 

Cranky: Wario gets knocked down, and DK gets knocked off the ropes!  Paper Luigi looking to win this thing early! 

Diddy: This match was set up as a punishment by Ash last week, but so far it's been just the opposite!  Paper Luigi whips Wario across the ring, spinebuster!  Paper Luigi hits the spinebuster, and now it's time for the Papercut!  It could be the end for Wario!  But DK climbs back into the ring and knocks PL down!

Cranky: He just saved the match right there!  Wait, what's this?  DK taking a look at Jenny.

Diddy: Keep away from her, Donkey!  Paper Luigi from behind with a clothesline!  DK was hardly even phased!  He turns around and flattens PL with a clothesline of his own!  Now he turns back to Jenny!  He's got that look in his eyes!  We saw it ourselves in that match back at the Melee!  Jman rolls into the ring!  He's got a sledgehammer!  He's right behind DK!  But Wario kicks him in the back of the knee!  That's got to hurt!  Now Wario grabs the sledgehammer!

Cranky: Jman's in big trouble!  Wario with a shot!  He just broke the hammer on Jman's back! 

Diddy: Jman is down and possibly out!  Paper Luigi attacks Wario from behind!  They spill out of the ring!  DK's left in the ring with Jman!  Now Jenny's getting into the ring!  She's kneeling over Jman, pleading with DK not to damage him any further!  DK's having none of it!  He grabs Jman by the neck!  Cranky, I don't think Jman's even conscious!  Here's a chokeslam!  If he wasn't out before, that certainly did it! 

Cranky:  Yes sir, Jman is out like a light, and now Wario just slammed PL into the steel steps outside the ring!

Diddy: That just leaves Jenny!  She's a sitting duck now!  Wario tosses a table into the ring!  DK sets it up!  Now Jenny tries to run!  She's high tailing it!  Wait a minute!  King Dedede is blocking the ramp!  Jenny has nowhere to run!  DK grabs her by the hair!  They're back in the ring now!  DK, oh no!  DK's going to chokeslam her through the table!

Cranky: Not so fast!  It's Lucario!  And Mario!  Lucario's going right after the big ape! 

Diddy: DK tried to smash Lucario through a table earlier tonight, now he throws himself into DK's back!  Jenny escapes from DK's grasp and there she goes!

Cranky: Jenny's getting out of Dodge!  Lucario has provoked the wrath of a giant!

Diddy: Lucario saving Jenny from a fate he almost experienced earlier!  But at what cost?  DK knees Lucario in the gut! 

Cranky: Diddy, they forgot about Dedede!  He's got Jenny outside the ring!  The others are too busy! 

Diddy: Here comes Kirby!  The Nintendo Entertainment Champion!  He's got his hammer!  He breaks it across Dedede's back!  Dedede goes down like a stone!  Now Kirby runs and slides into the ring!  He's cleaning house!  Lucario tosses him a chair!  Now Lucario with a spinning kick to the big ape!  Now Kirby hits him with a chair!  DK falls over the top rope!  Paper Luigi whips Wario into the ring!  Kirby grabs him!  Starslam!  Paper Luigi climbs back into the ring!  Now he takes Wario up for a Papercut!  There it is! 

Cranky: The match never ended!  Here's a cover! 1,2,3!  Paper Luigi wins it for his team!  And Jenny, oh no!

Diddy: Wait a second!  Ganon is here!  He's got Jenny!  Mario and the others are racing to her defense!  Now Ganon's sending more people after them!  Waluigi's in there, is that Solid Snake? 

Cranky: Yes it is!  Marth and Roy are in there too!  It's an absolute brawl out here!  Ganon's getting away with Jenny! 

Diddy: Meanwhile, Mario and the others are getting beaten senseless by this new group of thugs seemingly sided with Ganon!  And now they suddenly stop and walk away.  Ash Ketchum is on the ramp, showing his approval of a heinous act as usual.  Half of Team Luigi is left battered and beaten in the middle of the ring!  Ganon has kidnapped Jenny, and we need to take a break.  Up next, Fox McCloud and another newcomer, Ike, will do battle! 

[Jman]

Diddy: We are back here on SSB Live, and the whole show is in shambles.  Jenny McCallister, the only female left on the roster was kidnapped by Ganon during the end of our last match.

Cranky: Paper Luigi won the match with his Papercut after things just went into complete chaos.  Ganon kidnapped Jenny and sent several more of his lackeys to take care of Mario, Kirby, Lucario, and Paper Luigi.

Diddy: Let's go backstage as Ness tries to conduct an interview with a distraught Jman.

Ness: Thanks Diddy.  Jman, frankly I'm surprised you're standing up right now after taking a sledgehammer to the back of the neck, as well as a chokeslam from Donkey Kong!  Do you think you'll be able to go tonight?

Jman: Ness, I nearly had my ankle broken last week and still almost won that lopsided affair with Ash's fanclub!  The only way I don't compete is if I end up in a body cast! 

(Ash approaches)

Ash: That can be arranged, Jman.  You are taking on most of the same fighters who beat you down last week!  You know as well as I do that one mistake can cost you your career!  Oh, and if you even think about laying a finger on me, you can kiss your job goodbye!

Diddy: Tensions running high between those two as Team Luigi and Team Ganon prepare for their main event match tonight!  Right now, it's time for some more action as Fox McCloud and Falco Lombardi come down to the ring!  Fox's debut match against his good friend was interrupted by Ash's assassins last week, ending in a no contest.

Cranky: Which is why, this week, Fox and Falco will team up against those two in a tag match!  Looks like Ash is really trying to gain another title on his side, as this match, we're being told is for the #1 contendership to the SSB Tag Team Championships!  Here they come now! 

Diddy: Wait a second...who is that with them?

Cranky: That must be Ike!  Diddy screwed up before the break.  Ike is not fighting Fox, he simply looks to be backup for Ash's assassins! 

Diddy: Backup, huh?  I wonder how fair this match is going to be?  Here's the bell, and we are underway in this tag match!  What an opportunity for both teams tonight, as the winners will become the #1 contenders for the Ice Climbers' tag team titles!  Fox starts off against Assassin #1.  Again, we don't know these guys individually because they both look the same!

Cranky: Fox and Falco...this could turn out to be a fantastic team.  They are both very athletic, like that rolling kick by Fox right there.

Diddy: Fox locks in an armbar on the assassin.  He quickly breaks it up and brings him to his feet.  Fox whips the assassin across the ring and what a flying clothesline that was!  Fox drops an elbow!  Now he goes over and tags Falco in!  Here comes the speedster into the ring!

Cranky: Falco throws a punch and knocks down one assassin!  Here comes the other one!  And Falco knocks him down, too!  Now a back body drop to one of 'em!

Diddy: Falco looking good so far!  He ducks a clothesline and here comes a suplex!  Order has finally been restored here, as there's only one assassin in the ring now.  Now there's a distraction being caused by Ike on the outside!  Falco's bringing the assassin to his feet, and a low blow!  The referee didn't see it!

Cranky: Falco should have stayed away there.  He had the advantage, and now he's on the ground.  Sneaky, underhanded tactic by the assassins, but it worked. 

Diddy: Now a submission maneuver being applied by the assassin in the ring.  So just like that, the assassins have the momentum in this match for the #1 contendership for the tag team titles!

Cranky: They sure work well together.  Ike outside the ring there was a major factor by causing the distraction just a moment ago. 

Diddy: Falco trying to reach the ropes!  He needs to get out of this submission and make a tag!  He's almost there, but now the assassin re-adjusts!  Now he's really in trouble!  Falco is fading, and it looks like this might be it!  The official grabs his arm, and it flops down. 

Cranky: That's one!

Diddy: And again, Falco's arm flopping to his side!

Cranky: One more and the match is over!

Diddy: He raises the arm a third time, and this time, Falco has life!  Here he comes, he punches the assassin off of him!  And look at this!  A hurricanrana by Falco!  But they knocked over the referee in the process!

Cranky: The referees have really been knocked around tonight!  First in Lucario's match, now here!

Diddy: And now the assassins team up on Falco in the ring, but here comes Fox, sending one of them over the ropes!  Fox goes out after him!  But now Ike climbs into the ring!  Watch out Falco!  Oh man!

Cranky: I don't know what he calls that, but it sure looked darn powerful!  Falco is out cold!  The referee has come back to his senses!

Diddy: But Fox is fighting on the outside!  Here's the cover! 1,2,3!  Falco and Fox have been screwed by Ike!  The assassins are the #1 contenders for the tag team titles, and now Ash Ketchum has come out here! 

Ash: Good work, my assassins!  Now for your reward...you will face the Ice Climbers in two weeks for the tag team titles, in a ladder match!

Diddy: Oh man!  It will be a ladder match for the titles in just two weeks!  Ash's assassins shoot for the top of the mountain, no pun intended! 

Cranky: Now you may have noticed a severe lack of womens' matches over the last few weeks.  There is a reason for that. 

Diddy: During what was to be the grand finale of the Melee, We got a call that something had happened backstage.  When the cameras finally got there, all we could see was Ganon taking off with the women kidnapped in the back of his limo.  Since the night it happened, Jman vowed to do whatever it took to get them back, and Ganon made this match for tonight!  It was supposed to have been Luigi, Jman, Mario, Paper Luigi, and Link, but Link was taken out by Ganon late last week, so it is a 5 on 4 match!  That match is next!

[Jman]

Diddy: Welcome back to SSB Live!  We are ready for the main event!  Here comes Team Luigi to the ring!  They are a man short, which means the deck is stacked against them already!  They have also been battered and bruised, and as much as I want the women back, I just don't see it happening! 

Cranky: Here comes Team Ganon, consisting of Ganon himself, Donkey Kong, King Dedede, Wario, and Waluigi!  And now a cage is being lowered to the...good grief!

Diddy: The girls are locked in a cage that will only open, I guess, whenever Team Luigi wins, if they do!  A man advantage for Team Ganon, and Wario will start off against Mario!  The bell rings, and the main event is underway as Mario and Wario circle the ring!  They lock up, and Wario's sheer power forces Mario into the corner!  Wario looking for a chop, but Mario kicks him in the gut and starts throwing punches!

Cranky: Mario knocks Wario down!  I felt that impact!  Just like a tall tree falling in the woods!  Mario locks Wario in a headlock!  Wario breaks out of it!

Diddy: Mario falls to the ground!  That beating this team took from those hired thugs of Ganon is now taking its toll.  Mario needs to make a tag!  Wario drops an elbow, and Mario lets everybody know it!  He is in pain!  Now he's on his back!  The referee calls for the bell!
Announcer (Ness): Mario Mario is in no shape to continue, therefore, he is eliminated, and Luigi will take his place!

Cranky: That beating rendering Mario unable to compete after just a few seconds of grappling with Wario!  Luigi goes into the ring, with Team Luigi down 5-3!  He was not involved with the big brawl earlier tonight, so he should be fresh!

Diddy: Jman and Paper Luigi were involved in the brawl, so they could be suffering from the same effects as Mario!  This might be a short match!  The longer they can rest, the better!  Here's Luigi dishing it out to Wario with authority!  He's the freshest man, and it shows!  Wario can't keep up with him!  Here's a kick to the gut!  Is he?  Luigi's going for a Luigi bomb!  He hits it out of nowhere!  Here's the cover! 1,2,3!  Wario is eliminated, and the score is now 4-3 in favor of Team Ganon!

Cranky: Sometimes you have to be quick, and Luigi hit his move out of nowhere to eliminate Wario.  Waluigi is in the ring now, and Luigi goes right to town on him!  He knocks him down!  Luigi stands tall in the ring, and Team Luigi's not looking too bad right now!

Diddy: Luigi makes a tag to Paper Luigi, and he immediately grabs Waluigi and slams him to the ground!  He pulls him to his feet and plants a nasty punch right in the mouth!  Waluigi goes down again!  And now Paper Luigi is hunched over!  Waluigi gets up and makes a tag to DK!

Cranky: Paper Luigi is feeling the effects of that beating from earlier!  He's collapsed on the canvas!  Paper Luigi is down!

Diddy: He's already exhausted, or he's hurt.  It's one of those two!  DK grabs him, but the official tells him to get away and rings the bell! 

Ness: Paper Luigi is in no condition to continue, therefore, he is eliminated!

Cranky: And then there were 2, on 4! 

Diddy: Team Luigi's dream of rescuing the ladies from Ganon's lackeys is slipping away!  Luigi is back in the ring, and he is stopped in his tracks by a huge DK clothesline!  DK covers! 1,2, Luigi kicked out!  Can Team Luigi do it?  We will find out, when we return from our final commercial break of the evening!

Cranky: We are back, with Luigi in dire straits on the mat!  During the break, Waluigi distracted the referee long enough for DK to sucker punch Luigi to the canvas!  DK has locked in some kind of ground bearhug, slowly squeezing the life from Luigi!

Diddy: Cranky, it's going to be over, isn't it?  We're never going to see those young ladies again, are we?  4 on 2, with one of the 2 about to lose consciousness!  There goes the arm!  The referee raises it once, and it falls!  He raises it again, and it falls! 

Cranky: Luigi's out.  Jman's on his own! 

Diddy: No he's not!  Luigi's arm stayed up!  Here he comes back to his feet!  He fights off the big ape and looks to whip himself off the ropes, but DK caught him!  Here comes a chokeslam!  Luigi countered into a DDT!  Both fighters are down!  What a counter by Luigi!  The referee was knocked down in the process!  Now everyone enters the ring!  Jman and Luigi are fighting for all they're worth! 

Cranky: What????  Oh my gosh!!  It's Link!!

Diddy: Link is here!!  Link grabs a chair and hits the ring!  He delivers a shot to Waluigi!  A shot to DK!  Waluigi falls out of the ring!  He darn near breaks the chair over Ganon's head, knocking him to the floor!  Dedede gets rocked as well!  Link tosses the evidence away as the referee comes to his senses!  He points to Team Luigi's corner, and tells Link to get behind the ropes! 

Cranky: Order has been restored, DK is in there against Luigi, who is now staggering himself, but let me just say that Link's arrival changed the entire match!  DK is down as a result of that brutal chair shot!  Luigi tags in Link, who rolls onto DK!  Here's the cover! 1,2,3!  DK is gone!  It's all even now!  Link tags in Jman, who blasts Waluigi!  Now he picks him up for the Tombstone!  He hits it!  1,2,3!  Jman gets an elimination, and now it's 3-2 in favor of Team Luigi!

Diddy: Jman will stay in there to face Dedede!  He has a bone to pick with the King, who crushed his ankle with a chair last week!  Jman and Dedede are going at it!  And now Jman just tackles Dedede out of the ring!  They spill out onto the floor where Jman is just letting Dedede have it!  Now he's got his trademark sledgehammer!  They're outside the ring, so the referee is letting them fight!  Jman smashes the hammer off of Dedede's skull! 

Cranky: Jman and Dedede have just been counted out by the referee!  I don't think they care, though!  This is personal! 

Diddy: That just leaves Luigi, Link and Ganon!  Luigi is first in, but now the world champion tags in Link.  Here we go, for all the marbles!  Ganon vs Link!  It begins as a staredown!  Neither man making a move!  Oh hey!  Link just tackled Ganon!  And they are going at it on the ground!  Ganon got the best of Link last week, and we didn't expect him here tonight, but here we are witnessing tension boiling over! 

Cranky: They've spilled outside the ring, much like Jman and Dedede did!  Ganon clotheslines Link to the ground, as it would now appear Link is suffering from some effects of the beatdown he got last week!

Diddy: They'd better get back in the ring!  The referee is at 8, 9, 10!  They've both been counted out!  I don't believe it!  That's it, we'll have to wait on a decision from, wait a minute!  Luigi is still in this match!  He's the sole survivor!  Luigi stands tall on the apron, and his team defies all the odds to win!  The referee walks over to the cage and unlocks it using the key he took from Ganon at the beginning of the match!  Here come the ladies, and aren't they a sight for sore eyes! 

Cranky: It is definitely good to see them again!  Daisy makes a beeline for Luigi, the other girls rush off to find their significant others, and good wins out here tonight as Team Luigi beats Team Ganon in the main event!  For Diddy and the others, I'm Cranky Kong, reminding you to have a smashing week!  Goodnight everybody!

[Jman]

Diddy: Good evening to everyone watching tonight!  We are here live for Super Smash Brothers action!  If you weren't with us last week, you missed a doozy of a main event!  It was a 5 on 5 affair with Team Luigi against Team Ganon.  Luigi was the sole survivor, and as a result, all of the female fighters have been returned!

Cranky: And to celebrate, we're gonna have a battle royal to determine the #1 contender for the Womens' Championship!  Oh, does it feel good to say that!

Diddy: It also feels good to know that we will have some variety again.  Whoa!  The ring just blasted fire out of its posts!  What's this all about?  It's Ganon!  I bet he's still sore about losing last week!  He climbs into the ring!  What's he got to say?

Ganon: I lost last week, after a brilliant scheme failed miserably!  I sent my hoardes of enemies to weaken Team Luigi, and I succeeded!  I beat down Link at my secret hideout!  Only the champion Luigi escaped my grasp!  With just one fresh man on the opposing team, how could I fail?  I'll tell you how.  It was all Link's fault!  If he had just stayed down, there wouldn't be any trouble! 

Diddy: Trouble?  What is he talking about?

Ganon: You see, because he had to interfere in my plans, I had no choice but to let all of the girls go, except one!  I think I will trade a victory for Link's champion sweetheart, Zelda!  I won't let her go unless Link meets me in the ring, face to face, for the Super Smash Brothers Championship!  But there's just one problem, Link isn't the Super Smash Brothers champion anymore!  I guess he won't be seeing Zelda for a long long time, then!

Cranky: Here comes Link!  He does not look happy, but then again, would any man be happy in this situation?

Diddy: I sure wouldn't.  If something like this happened to Dixie, I'd go old school ECW on the person responsible! 

Link: If you want a shot at the title, go fight Luigi!  Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to have Zelda back!

Ganon: If you want to see your friend again, you will bring the title to me.  If that can't be arranged, then I demand a title shot!  Ash Ketchum!  If you can hear me, I demand to face Luigi one on one for the Super Smash Brothers Championship!  If these demands are not met, I will keep Zelda as my hostage until the title happens to come my way!

Diddy: Look at Link!  He is bordering on insanity! 

Cranky: Here comes Ash!  GM Bowser is with him!  Will they cave in to Ganon's demands? 

Ash: Let me get this straight.  You want a shot at the biggest title I have to offer, or else you won't return one of my fighters?  I've got bigger concerns then your main event status, buddy.  But, since I need to have Zelda back to defend the title against whoever wins that battle royal here tonight, I will give you your title shot.

Diddy: At least it'll get Zelda back.

Ash: Next week, you will face the Super Smash Brothers Champion in the main event!  And there's a reason why I didn't say a name. 
Tonight, Luigi will defend the Championship against...Link! 

Cranky: Ganon did say that he wanted Link in the ring, as well as a shot at the title!  However, I think a title is the last thing Link needs to be concerned about right now! 

Ganon: Excellent.  Thank you for giving all of us what we wanted.  I'll be leaving now.  Link, if you lose, you'd better hope I win the title next week, because as long as that championship eludes me, your girlfriend will elude you!

Cranky: This is certainly an interesting situation.  Ganon has manipulated the system to get a title shot next week!  As for tonight, Link gets a shot against Luigi! 

Diddy: I don't think Ash is doing Link a favor here, this has to be another chapter in his quest to make Luigi's title reign a short one!  So far, the champ has overcome each obstacle thrown at him by our new owner!  But later on tonight, it gets interesting!  This will be a rematch between two bitter rivals, but it seems as if recently these two have patched up!

[Jman]

Diddy: We're back on SSB Live!  If you weren't with us at the start, an in ring conference with Link, Ganon and the owner and GM granted title shots in back to back weeks!  Link vs Luigi tonight, and Ganon vs the winner of that match next week! 

Cranky: As for right now, a match has been made after last week's interference by Ike cost Fox and Falco a shot at the tag team titles.  The result is a six man tag match between Ike with the assassins, and Fox and Falco with a mystery partner who has yet to be revealed!

Diddy: I guess we'll find out in a second, as Ike and his teammates are in the ring, and Fox and Falco are walking down to the ring right now.  Hey hey!  It's Meta Knight!  So we'll have two master swordsmen in the same match!  This ought to be interesting!

Cranky: Meta Knight is making his in ring debut after a couple of run ins with the law, namely Ash Ketchum!  At the Melee, he along with Sonic the Hedgehog and Tails the Fox interfered in a situation which saw Ash and Jman's tempers flare to the extreme.  This saga certainly isn't over, and that should make for an interesting year. 

Diddy: The bell rings, and here we go!  Fox and Ike lock up, with Ike overpowering the captain immediately!  Ike sends Fox barreling into the ringpost!  Already, the power of Ike is clear! 

Cranky: It's kind of weird, because Ike isn't a big guy like Bowser or Donkey Kong!

Diddy: He sure packs a punch, though!  Fox can't get a good shot in!  He'll go ahead and tag his partner Falco!  Falco races around the ring, trying to make Ike dizzy!

Cranky: Why not?  He obviously saw the man wasn't to be toppled with brute strength.  Besides, it's working! 

Diddy: Ike just clobbered his own teammates off the side of the ring!  He was trying to hit Falco, but the bird was far too quick!  Ike's getting frustrated out there!  He wants to tag out, but there's no one to tag!  Falco tags Meta Knight!  Here comes the showdown!  Meta Knight and Ike lock up now! 

Cranky: Meta's pretty small, but he's putting up far more of a fight than Fox did! 

Diddy: You've got that right!  He's not knocking him down, but the struggle is pretty even!  Now there's someone coming down to ringside!  It's Star Wolf!  He's Fox's biggest rival!

Cranky: He must be here to scout these competitors!  Star Wolf is set to make his debut fairly soon! 

Diddy: Looks like he's coming over here to join us on commentary!  So, how goes it, Wolf?

Wolf: That's Star Wolf to you, monkey boy!

Diddy: Okay, no need to get touchy!  So, I hear you're supposed to begin competing soon!  Who's the first man on your list?

Wolf: You'll know soon enough.  These things must be handled carefully!

Cranky: Meanwhile, in the ring, it looks like Ike has taken control of Meta Knight! 

Diddy: He's got the star warrior in a headlock at the moment!  Meta's wearing down! 

Wolf: Hmm, this Ike character seems like someone worthy of my presence!

Diddy: I thought for sure your first choice would be your #1 rival Fox!

Wolf: No, that amateur is far too easy for me to beat.  Watch, I'll show you! 

Cranky: Star Wolf has left the table!  He's walking over to the ring! 

Diddy: Ike lets Meta Knight go, and he seems to be motioning something to Wolf!  Now Wolf is climbing into the ring!  He's beckoning Fox to enter the ring as well!  The referee is trying to mediate!  Now Meta Knight makes the tag to Fox, and here we go!

Cranky: But Wolf isn't even part of the match!  The referee calls for the bell! 

Diddy: The match is over, but the action isn't!  The assassins both grab weapons from under the ring and go after Falco!  Steel chair off the skull!  Falco goes down, and now Fox and Meta Knight are trying to fight back!  Fox goes after Wolf!  Meta Knight goes after Ike! 

Cranky: Falco's been knocked for a loop, so here come the assassins!  It's 4 on 2 now!

Diddy: Uh oh!  Ike catches Meta Knight with a low blow!  Here comes his devastating final attack, it looks like we're going to see the Emblem Driver in action!  There it is!  Meta Knight is down for the count!

Cranky: Now Wolf has his rival Fox in a choke hold!  And he delivers a thunderous chokeslam! 

Diddy: Now the assassins deliver the facefirst plant on Falco outside the ring!  Look at the carnage!  The tag team of Fox, Falco, and Meta Knight were overmatched tonight!  Star Wolf has chosen a side in the ongoing battle between Ash's forces and the heroes of SSB Live! 

Cranky: He wasn't scheduled to compete until next week, but he wanted to send an early message to the rest of the fighters, and he just did!  Ike and Wolf are a tag team to be feared! 

(backstage, Jman and Nana)

Jman: Are you serious, doctor?  Okay, I'll tell her.  Goodbye.  Nana, the injury to Popo is worse than they thought.  I'm afraid he'll be unable to compete for a couple of months. 

Nana: Oh no!  That means we won't be able to defend the tag team titles against the assassins! 

Ash (walks up): Oh, you'll be defending those titles all right.  I don't care if you have to go it alone!

Jman: Come on, Adolf Ketchum!  Can't you postpone the match?

Ash: That's Ash to you, Jman!  The match will go on as scheduled!  My assassins will not be denied their chance at a title because of an unfortunate injury! (walks away)

Jman: One day, one day I'll get him alone in the ring.  It'll be an even bigger match than our first one!

Nana: (walks away).

[Jman]

Diddy: Next up, we have the battle royal to determine the #1 contender for the Womens' championship!  This should be interesting!  It's going to be an over the top rope elimination match, think WWE's Royal Rumble match!

Cranky: Since it would take a long time to introduce all of the ladies performing in this match, we'll just read off their names.  We've got Princess Peach Toadstool, Zero Suit Samus, Nana, Princess Daisy, Jigglypuff, and Ash's cousin, Jenny McCalister! 

Diddy: This is a big opportunity for one lucky lady, as we've already stated the prize at stake!  The match starts and it's a brawl in the middle of the ring!  Whoops!  There goes Jigglypuff!  We're already down to 5! 

Cranky: It's a pretty common site for someone to get eliminated quickly in a big brawl like this!  Look at that, as soon as I said it, Princess
Peach is eliminated!

Diddy: So we're down to four that quickly!  Daisy knees Samus in the gut, and here's a DDT!  Whoa, where did Daisy learn that move?

Cranky: Probably Luigi!  Those two have spent more than a little time together lately.

Diddy: Speaking of Luigi, the world champion faces off against Link tonight, and surprisingly enough, that match is not the main event!  Daisy eliminates Samus!  There's only three left now!

Cranky: It's Daisy vs Nana vs Jenny!  The ultimate prize is within their grasp! 

Diddy: Daisy eliminates Jenny! 

Cranky: Daisy has been a force to be reckoned with in this match!  She's eliminated everyone!

Diddy: Now it's time to get down to basics!  It's Nana vs Daisy with a title shot on the line!  Daisy and Nana slug it out back and forth!  It is possible Daisy and Luigi could one day be champions at the same time, like Link and Zelda were before the Melee!

Cranky: Yeah, but Luigi would need to beat Link and Daisy would need to win here, and then beat Zelda whenever she comes back!  Which might not be for awhile unless Ganon gets his way!

Diddy: Nana sets up for her own version of the Ice Pick!  She hits it!  Nana's gonna do it!  Nana's going to win this thing!  She'll be the #1 contender if she can!  She picks up a groggy Daisy and throws her to the out, no Daisy grabs the rope!

Cranky: She's hanging on for dear life!  Nana's trying to push her over, and now Nana goes over the rope!  Daisy wins!

Diddy: Daisy has won the battle royal!  She will get a shot at the Womens' championship whenever the champion Zelda returns!  But how long will that take?  I think we'll find out soon enough! 

(Bowser's office)

Ash: Bowser, I've got some good news for you.  As of tonight, you are returning to action. 

Bowser: Action?  But that means...

Ash: Yes.  I'll have to replace you as General Manager.

Bowser: What?  You can't do this to the King of the Koopas!

Ash: You may be king of the koopas, but I'm the king of this show!  Jenny, you will be the new General Manager. 

Jenny: Thank you.  I don't know what to say!

Ash: Don't get cocky.  Now then, Bowser, you have a match and it is no disqualification.  However, I have barred all outside interference.  Your opponent is Lucario, so have fun. 

Diddy: Whoa!  Bowser has been relieved of his duties as GM, and he will have a match against Lucario, and that match is next!