It was an episode of Growing Pains. Mike had been mentoring a kid at school, and that kid had somehow gotten mixed up in a competitive glue-sniffing club. Mike realized he needed Maggie and Jason's help with the kid, so he ran home to get them and tell him that the system wasn't working for this kid as an individual. When he talked to them, they thought he was saying he needed comfort and guidance and stuff himself, so they started hugging him and Maggie said "Oh, Mike. Nintendo is good for you." Mike explained that it was for the kid, not him, and said "He needs you to be here." Jason said "We are here." Mike said "No, I need you to be THERE here!" So they fo down to the school.
Members of the glue-sniffing club were charged extra for sodas ($7.40 for a 12-ounce can -- in the 90s!), so when the kid bought one of the expensive sodas, the principal knew that he was a member and used it to catch him. Mike (who was now me), Maggie (who was now kind of an older Hermione), and Jason (who kind of disappeared), followed after the principal. Maggie kept begging him to let the kid go, and alternated between calling him "Teacher" and "Professor" (also, the school had just become the school that Dudley Dursley goes to apparently).
Somewhere along the line, the kid sort of became Golden Radio Voice Guy and his offense changed from glue-sniffing to keeping two canaries as pets who had been in the room in 1776 when the Declaration of Independence was written. The principal still wouldn't listen to Maggie, so she tied him up, saying "You deprived his rights, so we're depriving yours" in a room where animatronic copies of the canaries sat perched on a statue or person or something in a rocking chair (I saw the canaries pass a note to someone who wasn't the principal informing them that they were actually the real canaries, whom the principal erroneously thought he had caught), and there was also one of those drinking birds tipping over the principal's favorite easy chair, but instead of drinking, it peed on the chair out of its mouth. The principal screamed "NOOOOO!"
---
I'm working a cash register. An MCA (one of the people who folds clothes and puts stuff away and walks around out on the floor) erroneously takes some money and puts it on a shelf. Later, I'm counting the money. There's over a thousand dollars in twenties. Another guy who's at the register with me, who's some kind of old pro at something, had asked me earlier if it was a problem that that $160 or so had been put on the shelf. I said no back then, but that was a lie, and I told him as much now. We found the little green bag that the money had been put on when it was put on the shelf, and I took it back to Cuddy, who is now my boss.
Recently, House had gotten a girlfriend, and Cuddy was jealous (or at least House said she was). I give the bag to Cuddy, and someone (maybe me) says "It should have the money in it. Or drugs." Cuddy takes the bag and walks to her office, then through her office to a balcony outside her office which is also connected to House and Wilson's offices. I try to follow her to the balcony, but she shuts the door in my face and tells me to take a hint. I mutter after her "If you wanted privacy, you could've just told me." House is out on the balcony with his girlfriend.
House assumes Cuddy has come to concede that he is happier than she is, saying "If you wanted to play the "You're Winning" game, I would've told you you were winning" [she would've won by being the person who didn't win]. She shows him the bag, and apparently there are drugs inside of it.
I transition from a character to a spectator, and the character I had been transitions into what might have been House's girlfriend except now a boyfriend for some reason. House and Cuddy confront him about the drugs. It goes into one of those cool animations on the show where they show what got screwed up in his body -- in this case, the drugs that were in the bag (he had apparently intentionally gotten the MCA to put the money out there as part of a deal -- something I was totally oblivious to when I was that character) had messed up his immune system, caused the cardiac arrest that had initially gotten him into the hospital (which hadn't happened in the past until now), and another side effect was about to show itself. Suddenly, sparks start flying out of his arm. A girl who was there with him (sister? girlfriend?) gets scared. He's scratching at the sparks. It's been itching in that spot a lot lately, and he says he's been trying to suck on it to stop it itching (which would've been impressive, considering it was around his elbow), tearfully bemoaning "I keep sucking and sucking and it doesn't help!" A schizophrenic guy in the waiting room sees him and stands up and shouts "He's sinking in the quicksand too!"
Driving really fast down a highway (with some minor resemblences to an RCT roller coaster) with a speed limit that sometimes says 57 and sometimes says 97, and sometimes is a loop and sometimes isn't, asking why it's suddenly okay to hate that guy now that we know he's a drug addict, despite no evidence that he ever hurt anyone. Miss the exit a few times, almost get hit by a car, and suddenly it's a runway and I'm being dragged on the bottom of a plane.
A guy is being held by a bungee cord over a glass door on an airplane in flight, being interrogated about whether he is or knows anything about the "JetBlue Guy", who was inspired by but not totally the same as the real-life JetBlue guy who quit and jumped out a window and was gay. This guy that they're interrogating says he doesn't know anything about JBG, and everytime the flight attendant (male) interrogating him doesn't like his answer, the door opens and the guy dangles out the window for a while. Eventually, the flight attendant asks him if he knows Lindsay Lohan. He says he does, gets dangled, and comes back saying he knows someone else who's actually a drag queen who dresses up as Lindsay Lohan. The flight attendant asks for more details, and the guy (who just now turned gay and sassy) says that the drag queen performed somewhere with "The former... Elton John!" This was a joke, because we expected him to say "former Beatles member" [because my subconscious was combining Elton John and John Lennon or something], but instead he just said former, indicating that Elton John is a has-been who should just die already.
Later, I ate a raisin salad with some other people who may or may not have known about JBG.
