Can I make a pointless product?
Pointless Product #2.5, oinkment!
It's kinda like regular ointment, except it it gives your skin the nice smell and soothing texture of a pig's skin! It's great for a Halloween pig costume, or if you want to look and smell great for your date, buisness meetings or other social events! We use a secret family recipe of mud that pigs had previously rolled in and various other chemicals (which we wont tell you about, because it is a secret recipe). Trust us, you'll get closer to that pig scent you have dreamed of or your money back guaranteed (somewhat)!
And coming soon, Blue-star oinkment! Actually, I won't get into detail on this one.