Super Mario Subconscious

[Ambulance Y]

I was thinking the other day about Mario. He's explored the aquatics, and even space. What other frontier does he have to conquer? How about the frontier of the human mind?! I formulated a plot in which Mario suffers a head injury and during a coma, discovers the depths of his own subconscious and analytically questions his life and vitality. I present: Super Mario Subconscious!


I

It was those days, those warm yellow days, when nothing however burdensome could gnaw on the mind. Mario’s mind was usually a burdened mind, but not on those days; those days with the blue sky and the green grass and just about every other pleasantry you could imagine. He reclined onto a lawn chair next to Peach, sitting in front of her enormous castle. He exhaled and stretched out like a deflated balloon. Peach read a magazine and a lone toad mowed the picturesque lawn.

Peach, without moving her head from that glossy publication, frowned and said, “You know, you still haven’t repaired the royal bathroom.”

“Dang it, Peach. You’d think that the one day when I can sit down and free my mind from kart maintenance and tennis matches, and let’s say, SAVING YOU, you would at least give me the liberty of relaxation.”

“Well what do you suggest I do?”

“Have you ever heard of public service?”

“You’re telling me that I should pay money for a questionably professional plumber, when I have an all-star right next to me?”

Mario sighed and smirked at Peach, “You know just how to butter me up.”

He furrowed his brow and violently launched himself out of the lawn chair. He left Peach in a drizzle of guilt, which subsided when she thought of her soon-to-be-functioning bathroom. Mario cursed under his breath about the 50 other bathrooms in that cavernous castle. However, whether he was aware of it or not, he was her wind-up toy, scouting around and cleaning her messes, returning her world to “just-so.” He climbed flight after flight of velvet stairs, and eventually found himself standing on the slick marble floors of the royal bathroom. He spotted the problem.

A chrome pipe shook threateningly on the other side of the room, periodically spurting bursts of water. It appeared to have been connected to the sink. It looked like a dangerous and difficult job, but Mario, upset about his nice day interrupted, approached it incautiously. Reaching into his pocket for a wrench, he bent down and grabbed the shaking pipe. There was a swift solid movement, and then all was white.

Half an hour later, a whistling toad maid strolled into the bathroom with a mop and a bucket only to find Mario on the ground, unconscious, with a chrome pipe protruding from his skull.
 

[Wiiario]

Hold on. Wasn't SMB2 US a game about Mario's subconscious? The world's even called Subcon.

[Ambulance Y]

Jeez, I suppose, but I didn't think about it when I wrote this.

[Koopaslaya]

There's a good album by the band Ayeron called The Human Equation. It features many prominent metal artists including Devin Townsend and James LaBrie, Mikael Akerfeldt, and others that explores subconsciousness. It's a pretty great story, I hight recommend it if you are really into this sort of idea.

[ShadowBrain]

I'm thinking... Psychonauts, but with Mario.

[Ultima Shadow]

I'm reminded forcibly of Earthworm Jim 64, but this looks like a very cool story. Keep up the good work, Ledzeppelinrocks LZR Hyrulian Ambulance Y!

[Luigalaxy]

That's gonna give kids who roam the fourms nightmares.

[Ambulance Y]

For II and all following chapters, I will be dividing them into two parts: the mind and the matter. The mind deals with Mario's subconscious adventures while the matter deals with how things are for Peach and other characters in the real world.

II

THE MIND

All was still white. Everything beneath him, above him, around him, was a piercing white. He had an unquestioning mind; he felt he should be here, sort of like a dream. Taking a few steps forward, he noticed the ground (if there was one) was very malleable. His feet would always sink just a tiny bit. He explored his environment for a couple more minutes (for there wasn’t much to see), and then he dropped to the ground.

A second Mario materialized in front of him.

Their eyes locked, and the new Mario said, “Let me show you around.”

THE MATTER

“Don’t you hate that hospital smell?”

Peach never tried to avoid the hospital smell. It was all around you and when you left the building, it still had itself planted snuggly into your clothes.

“I try to ignore it,” sobbed a teary-eyed Peach.

“Oh,” puffed the toad maid, “look, you, uh, got some eyeliner seeping down your cheek. Let me get it.”

The tiny toad stood on her tippy toes and smudged the eyeliner onto a tissue. Peach was indifferent. She sat pigeon-toed on an uncomfortable waiting room chair, which at least didn’t outdate the magazines. A fluorescent bulb flickered in the ceiling. The koopa paramedics had told Peach that this would be a very difficult procedure. This would be a procedure consisting of improvisation. This would be a procedure beyond the books. One koopa even recommended a funeral home. “They have great deals on cremation,” he said.

“I bet Mario will be just fine,” exclaimed the unaware toad.

“I hope,” Peach mumbled, hardly squeezing those two words out.

Dr. Koopinski hobbled into the room. He was a piece of work, with his synthetic stagger and the melodrama seeping from his every pore. The hospital was not a hospital, but an award-winning movie, to him. With a goofy overbite and an equally goofy hot pink stethoscope, he approached Peach and laid a hand on her shoulder.

“Now, Ms. Peach,” he whispered in a buttermilk voice, “I want you to forget about the accident, and just remember that your Mr. Mario is under very, very good care.”

Peach looked up menacingly, “Get your hand off of my shoulder.”

“Patient knows best,” he chuckled as he yanked his chubby hand away, “now I just wanted you both to know that we have our top surgeons currently working on removing…what was it?”

“A pipe,” Peach growled.

“Oh yes, that’s right. Well, that pipe’ll be out of that old noggin soon. Why don’t you ladies follow me? I’ve prepared some cots for you to sleep in overnight. Tomorrow, however, I’m afraid you’ll have to find your own means of sleep.”

Peach and the toad maid followed Dr. Koopinski down a series of wide, brightly-lit corridors. Moans and snores would occasionally seep out of a passed room. When they reached their cot room, they both situated themselves in one. Dr. K bid them a rather goofy farewell and immediately after he shut the heavy oak door, the toad maid sunk directly into sleep. Peach did not.

“Oh goodness,” she muttered.

She could deal with that hospital smell, but not those uncomfortable cots.

[Turtlekid1]

Confusing but promising so far.

[The Chef]

Hold on. Wasn't SMB2 US a game about Mario's subconscious? The world's even called Subcon.

Well... he got there by dreaming, but it was only implied at the end that the game was just a dream. For all we know, it actually is another world, and you can only get there by dreaming.