I wrote this last year. It's long, but funny.
Play as Geno
To obtain Geno, you must first beat the game three times, each time obtaining all Shine Sprites and beating Episode One of Sirena Beach in under five minutes. Then, go play the original Final Fantasy for NES and call your character “marioisperfect.†Your system will want to censor it, and will tell you it will blow up in ten seconds. Hold down the power button, count to pi, and let go. Take the Final Fantasy cartridge out of the NES, then go cook tofu chicken nuggets in a 642.5-megawatt, industrial toaster oven. (Every Chick-Fil-A has one.) Now, cook the chicken for 57.942 seconds, then turn off the toaster oven and run back to your GameCube
(yes, I meant for it to stay on.) Now go into the Pinna Park cannon. When you are about to be launched, enter Up, Up, Down, Down, L, R, L, R, B, A, Start. The game will pause.
Now, there will be an additional menu option, “Aim Cannon.†When you choose it, a targeting interface comes up. Aim for the red buoy, which you can only see with the secret Game Boy Advance Binoculars, which you get by transferring the Tingle Tuner from Wind Waker and entering the above code. (If you are lazy, here are the coordinates: X=141.5, Y=397.4, 58.2 grams of gunpowder.) You will land in a new place, the Secrets Zone. Squirt the switch, and the game will tell you that the secrets have been unlocked. Save and quit from the pause menu.
Power off exactly 12.997 seconds into the intro. Take the disc out after it spins down. Then, put in an Animal Crossing disc. (Make sure you have a save file.) Connect a Game Boy Advance SP containing Pokemon Crystal Version to the third port on the GameCube. Do this exactly as I say, or your memory card will be erased.
If you did this exactly as I said, the screen should say “Secrets Unlocked,†just like it did before. Once you enter the game, a guy named Filbert will be sleeping in whatever piece of furniture is handy at Tom Nook’s store. Talk to him, and he’ll battle you on the Game Boy screen. Once you win, you will get 1072 Poke Dollars in the Pokemon game, and 2,090 Bells in the Animal Crossing game. Tom Nook objects to this use of his furniture and store. Be careful, because...
...he wants to battle you! Yes, he evolves into a Furret, and the first thing he does is use Ice Beam. It will hit your Animal Crossing character, who will be frozen. The way to heal him or her is to go to your nearest Pizza Hut and put your GameCube in a pizza oven containing a Stuffed Crust pizza. If it isn’t a Stuffed Crust pizza, the temperature will be wrong, and your AC character will die of heatstroke, erasing all your progress (but not your town.) Leave it for 4 minutes, 12.6584 seconds, then go back home with it. Keep playing. If you press A to continue exactly 9.874 seconds after taking the GameCube out of the oven, your Pok mon Trainer will send out a Level-100 Rhydon. Use Horn Drill to end the fight instantly.
Professor Oak will come to drag Tom Nook off after you beat him. He will ask you to follow him. Say “Yes;†the actual following is automatic. After dropping Nook off at the Goldenrod City Pok mon Center, Oak will get back on the train and head for Tokyo, Japan.
You will end up on the set of the TV show Iron Chef. Select Sakai to challenge. The Chairman will launch into a rambling, inaccurate explanation of Shigeru Miyamoto and video games. Just advance quickly, as it’s quite boring. He then reveals the secret ingredient to be sea bass. However, the platform is empty when it rises, and the Chairman suddenly realizes he forgot to arrange for the delivery of 15 large sea bass. He asks you to fulfill his request. Obviously, getting 15 sea bass in AC is very easy. If one is runty, though, you should release it and catch a new one. He said 15 large sea bass, remember? Just go back to your town and fish for a while. You will be fine.
Once you come back with the fish, the battle can officially begin. Several strategies work well, but sushi usually works well. If the judges give you more points in all, you win. If you win, you are asked to either quit or continue. If you choose “Continue†then press Y exactly 57 times, the Chairman will leave, and Oak will drag you off again. Oak will ask you to go to Cerulean City. He will then take you to the Pok mon Gym and lead you into a secret passage on the right side, revealing Kanto’s Kitchen Stadium, the set of the Pok mon version of Iron Chef.
You will be told that the theme ingredients are Pikachu and Magikarp. Pikachu are abundant, so the Pikachu fillet is easy. Just remember to switch to the obsidian knife so you don’t hurt yourself. No Magikarp are there, though. You and your competitor, Gary, will both ask the Chairman about that. He’ll freeze the time limit and let you catch three Magikarp each.
Talk to Gary to learn how he is doing. If he’s behind, catch extras. If he’s ahead, you can slack off a little. When you report back with six Magikarp total, they will be divided evenly between the competitors. Make marinated fish tenders, smoked fish fillets, and sushi to complete the meal. When you win, you get the Gold Badge.
Now, return to your Animal Crossing village. The Gold Badge will be transferred from your Pok mon game to your AC game. Without Tom Nook around, Timmy and Tommy have set up their own shop in an old Winnebago. Try to sell Tommy(speak to him, not Timmy; be very careful as Timmy will just throw it away) the Gold Badge. Tommy will give you a Super NES console (which you’ll need) in lieu of payment. Check out the clothes in the back room before leaving.
Once you leave, Officer Copper will bust Timmy and Tommy for illegal parking of a motor vehicle. When he says, “You are so busted!,†the game will appear to freeze up. However, if you look carefully, you’ll see a save icon in the upper right corner. When it turns gray, push Reset. When the game comes back, Mr. Resetti won’t yell at you. However, if you reset while the icon is black, it’ll count as resetting and may damage game data, so look closely.
When the game comes back, a large rocket will be at the train station. Tom Nook, now fully healed, will tell you that the Japanese Space Agency is looking for volunteers to test lunar spacecraft for a lunar-base mission. Agree to volunteer. You will be sent to training camp to complete physical tests, such as weight-lifting and centrifuge training, before you can fly. Just mash buttons when prompted.
Next, you will enter the training simulator. Flying the spacecraft is simple. Simply enter coordinates, which are given over the radio, and the computer will tell you what to do. Once you pass in the simulator five times, you can fly for real. Do it just like the simulator- with one exception: A moon dweller will try to flag you down as you orbit. You can’t land, but you can skim low to the surface. Once you lose altitude and engage in some friendly conversation, you will get the Super Mario RPG game cartridge, another item that you need. After you have the item, raise your altitude to avoid crashing. Wait until you get the targeting coordinates before you try to get home.
Once you land, Tom Nook will be impressed and give you the Super NES power supply, the third part that you need. To get the last part, find Jean-Claude, a camper who can appear at any time of year. He’ll invite you to play Duel Masters Trading Card Game, wagering his HDTV, the last part you need, for any item in your inventory that you choose. Wager a fruit or something else cheap. To play the Duel Masters TCG, you must first play five cards, called “Shields,†which serve as your health. You also must play cards as “Mana,†or energy. Using cards requires you to “tap,†or use, your mana. If you break all of your opponent’s shields and make a finishing blow, you win. Your mana is reset every turn.
Once you win against Jean-Claude, he’ll give cryptic hints about placing items in your house. The correct technique is: Place the power adaptor, then place the console on top of it, then place the cartridge on top of that, then place the TV to the right of it. When you turn on the TV, you will be prompted to insert the Super Mario Sunshine Game Disc.
The game will start File A automatically. If you have not finished all 8 episodes in Sirena Beach, do so now. Anyway, Shadow Mario will run around the plaza, only he’s carrying a piece of paper, not Princess Peach. If you defeat him, he’ll give up the Hotel Pass.
If you pause the game, “Hotel Pass†should be written at the bottom of the Pause Menu, underneath the area name. If it’s there, enter Sirena Beach. The episode list will have just one episode, “Episode 9 : The Hotel Stay.†A butler will welcome you to a suite on the third floor. Resting in the bed will heal you. Also, you can FINALLY play Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars, which allows you to unlock Geno. If you win in all three files, you are asked to swap Animal Crossing back in. Geno shows up and talks to you. When you next play SMS, a screen saying “Geno Unlocked!†will appear when opening your file. Press Start and choose “Switch to Geno†from the Pause Menu. You don’t want to know how you get Mallow and Bowser...
Edited by - minkbob on 6/30/2005 4:18:11 PM
