God looked down upon his world, and what he saw was a world filled with discontinuity and chaos. This made God sad, so he sent a meteorite to blow everyone up since they're all big stupid-heads. MamaMia--I mean God then sent a tablet of commandments down to the new planet. Only, he made a mistake, and it was a shopping list. So after Moses bought a bag of flour, a dozen eggs, a box of popsicles, and a bag of M&Ms, he sent down a tablet containing the commandments for real this time. Really. The number of commandments was a number whose sum of its digits is greater than 0 but less than 2.
1. Thou shalt noteth be stupideth heads.
2. Thou shalteth give me lots of money. Being God is a full time job.
3. Thou shalteth um... I'll get back to you.
4. Thou shalteth be witty, clever, funny and/or female.
5. Five is such a great number, isn't it?
666. Aaaaah Satan!!!11
7. Give the story some freaking continuity people. You're making Chupperson get gray hair. Don't just write some completely and totally random junk down. It needs to have some roots in the previous set of posts, even if it's just a little.
8. Don't do drugs.
9. Don't make baby Jesus cry.
10. By logic 10 would be twice as cool as 5, right?