Just spreading the word to my fellow members here, that the infamous internet improv/terrorist group the Barney Bunch has recently reunited after years of remaining dormant to bring humor and woes to Newgrounds, Wade Fulp and the rest of the internet.
For those of you who are completely unaware of this amazing guild, I have comprised together a brief history of the group's storied and often legendary antics from the past decade.
In 1989, a sir from Floride named Jake Cummins was introduced to the world through the emergency labor his mother wnet through while hiking through a forest. From his infancy, Jake's father figure was a large purple dinosaur who raised him by teaching him the importance of letters, numbers and loving one another. He took that last one to heart, spreading the warmth that comes from his heart and from real Orlando orange juice.
A decade later, he discovered the internet and with it was bombarded with offers for free subscriber porn and hilarious internet cartoons where Mario fights Goku and then he and Sonic split a brew. He was enamored by these treasures of humor and found himself unable to quench his thirst for moar 13-year-old induced stupidity. His addiction lead to his life of crime, in which he became a distributor of such horrible black market items as ROMs and lolicon. He was eventually caught and arrested by a gallant officer named Eric Bawwmen, after a 36 hour DDoS attack outside the International House of Newbie Relations.
During his time in the bighouse, he was introduced to a man by the name of LsaysH, who had previously converted to Aristocratic Orthodox Temple of Pickles, an organization dedicated to honoring the stay at home dad's questionable relationship with his neighbors. L taught Jake that the key to inner balance, was by embracing the the hidden technique of Adobe Flash. This point-blank digital canvas allowed the followers to revert to their youthful mindset, allowing them to create brilliant abstract works of art, which has to this day, been a source of much speculation among the world's top officials regarding whether Carl Winslow's deeper interests should be downplayed whenever his illustrious career as a law enforcement official was roasted. Due to his teachings in jail, Jake was rechristened as GCW by his subjects, whom viewed his thoughts as gospel to live by.
Following his release from jail, L and Jake set off to find refuge in the land of Newgrounds, rumored to be a sanctuary for all the rejects from 4chan and Something Awful. It is there where Jake met the rest of the crew, including such legendary internet veterans as RetardedBarney, SovietBarney, Princess-Laucherella, and their leader BarneyPoop . These brave souls were to witness awful atrocities caused by the leader of Newgrounds, the imperialist emperor Wade Fulps. Together, the boys became a beacon of hope for the citizens of Newgrounds, christened the Barney Bunch by Fulps spies who had noticed these boys would often leave their mark at the sight of their scuffles, a silhoutte of a round anthromorphic dinosaur dropping a large bratwurst upon Drew Pickles face.
Next time: The Bunch challenge Fulps authority and the rise and fall of the Barney Bunch, caused by a surge of new members who believed themselves to be superior BB'ers, such as Taco Wiz, Kirbyslover, and Super-SugoiGoku227. Stay tuned...
