"you wouldn't!" Mario cried.
He had fought some nasty villains since he and luigi first arrived in the Mushroom Kingdom, but this was the most totally insane person mario had ever laid eyes on! Mario had no choice but to fight for real.
"Luigi. We're gonna have to fight." he said.
"I know! She'll kill the princess if we don't!" replied his brother, who really seemed genuinely angry.
The mario brothers quickly ran in their head, a plan to defeat this evil, depraved woman that would stop at nothing to fight them without holding back.
They dashed forward and headbutted her in the chest. Mario punched her in the face as hard as he could, making blood spill from her mouth.
She caught her footing and spat it out.
"So it seems that You two have developed a backbone! now I can truly kill you with satisfaction!"
She drew a long sword from her belt and charged them. Mario ducked underneath the sword, causing her to fall and trip over him.
"Ahh!" she screamed, throwing her hand to the side, partially trying not to accidentally stab herself, but partially trying to stab luigi, who moved out of the way at the last minute.
She slashed the sword recklessly at luigi, who jumped, ducked, and dodged the blade as well as he could. she obviously had no idea what she was doing. When The plummers were actually trying, they could easily fend off her best atttacks.
She threw he sword at mario and missed totally. It flew into the wall. mario pulled it out and threw it out to the side. Mario rammed into her, and because she was unprepared, she fell down on her back. she jumped to her feet and ran to the place where the sword had fallen. she picked it up and attacked him even more recklessly than before.
"you, my dear, are starting to scare me!" said luigi, mocking the fact that, after the fuss she made about making them fight her, she had the fighting prowess of a child! Mario and luigi, despite being able to fling a giant turtle dragon into a vat of lava, weren't exactly kung-fu masters themselves, but this was pathetic.
Mario and luigi stopped fighting long enough to laugh at her.
She was furious. for most of her life, she had believed she could kill anyone, because she was the best there was. She was the most infamous pirate to ever sail the seas of the mushroom world. But now she knew that it was all a lie. She could never have gained her reputation without her crew, and her gender. A crew of ducks and goombas made her reputation. She couldn't fight at all, and it took two plummers to show her that. She felt said at first, but then she was angry. Angry at her crew, angry at everyone she had fought in the past, and for some reason, angry at the mario brothers.
"Grrrr! You have humiliated me! I cannot sit here and take this! Please let me die in peace!" she said taking the sword and holding it to her chest.
"Whoa! whoa whoa whoa! You can't just kill yourself! Gosh you're off you rocker, lady!" said luigi, grabbing the sword from her and holding it as far away from her as he could.
The two pirates that were holding peach let her go and rushed to their captain's side.
They lifted her to her feet.
"ungh! Don't worry ma'am, we'll get you back on board our ship, and then we'll sail home." One of them said.
"The mario brothers are right.I can't kill myself. My crew needs me. Almost as much as I need them. Thank you Mario brothers. You have taught me something today. We will meet again. and I will defeat you, on my own."
she began to leave.
"waaaaaaiiiiitttt, a second." said luigi. "these paintings. What are they for?"
"Ha ha ha! You'll fnd out."
The world would be a much cleaner place if people would eat their own trash.