(insert adjective here) stories

[Lizard Dude]

TRAGIC

<Lizard_Dude> What the...
<EclipsedMoon> ?
<Lizard_Dude> Just got an email - Vote for Most Addictive Game and win Mountain Dew
<Lizard_Dude> Ah, it's related to the Spike Video Game awards
<EclipsedMoon> You're in Montana, that stuff's free.
<Lizard_Dude> This reminds me of yesterday.
<Lizard_Dude> Deezer will like this
<Lizard_Dude> He likes stories of my misfortune
<Deezer> :D
<Lizard_Dude> Anyway, bought this 12 pack of Mountain Dew Pitch Black
<EclipsedMoon> Aladdin was the best movie ever because there was that funny little monkey AND that funny little parrot.
<Lizard_Dude> I was running back home and as I rounded this corner, the cardboard handle slot thing broke and all 12 cans plummeted to the ground
<Lizard_Dude> Mountain Dew Pitch Black was shooting everywhere
<EclipsedMoon> Oh, I hate when that happens.
<Lizard_Dude> I was also trying to carry an ice cream bar and a can of Chunky soup
<Lizard_Dude> I stuffed as many cans as I could into the shredded box
<Lizard_Dude> Which was 8
<Lizard_Dude> 4 cans were left on the ground
<Lizard_Dude> 1 was totally busted
<Lizard_Dude> and 3 were still good
<Lizard_Dude> So I run back and leave the 8 cans I collected, 2 of which were busted, at home
<Lizard_Dude> Then I return to my original crash spot about 60 seconds after the accident
<Lizard_Dude> and the 3 good cans were ALREADY GONE!
<Lizard_Dude> While the busted one remained
<Lizard_Dude> So within a minute, the scavanger underworld residents of MSU-Bozeman had stolen my pops
<Lizard_Dude> So I bought 12 pops. 6 survived the trip.
<Deezer> Oh man

“I’m a stupid fatty and I love to play with my Easy Bake oven.”

[superstarMASIAH]

Okay, I was at my former friends house(Matt) with my other friend Dave.  It was like any other get together, we would watch scary movies, eat lots of snacks.  So before the marathon night we went out to shoot birds, and Matt's house is almost in the middle of nowhere.  We go to the old barn across the street, there is usually some pigeons or morning doves over there.  As we turn around the side entrence, we see a lower, dark, entrance to the basement of the barn.  We go in and we see old stables, just like any other barn in New York.  We walk down the middle of the rows of stables, side by side, with me in the middle.  Dave looks in one stable and yells "Holy sh**!!"  Matt and I come over to see what he is looking at.  There was an ugly looking creature eating the insides of a house-cat.  We ran out of there like bats out of hell!  That night we took his moms book "The complete guide to North American Animals" to see what the creature was.  We found nothing remotely related to it.  Till this day we have yet to find the creature we only once saw.

YOU HAVE JUST READ A TRUE STORY.  NOTHING IN THIS STORY HAS BEEN MADE UP OR FABRICATED.

I AM THE MAN WITH THE SILLY MUSTACHE!!!

[Markio]

Mario Piano Pays Off!

A few days ago, I was in Gym class, which was after lunch, which was after a Mass our school had in the Gym.  Because we then had Gym, we were the ones who had to stack up all the folding chairs, put them on the racks, and roll them under the stage.  Pf course, one of the choirs, Chamber I think, had sang during Mass, so there were some more chairs on stage.  A few of us went up there, and what do you know, a piano was on the side.  Since the gym teacher was gone right then, I went over to it and started to play the Super Mario Bros. Underworld Theme.  Two guys were standing there and said something like, "Hey, that's awesome!"  And there you have it.



(Author's Note: I usually hate Gym, so this was a great turnaround.  I now know of the bliss of situational irony.)

[boomstix]

Oh boy, have I got an awesome story!
Or two, I guess.

Story Number One: Maniac Michael Magee
So, in first grade, there's this kid at my school, named Michael . He had some major temper problems cause of a mental disorder. One day in the wintertime, at recess, him and I were having a snowball fight, when one of the supervisors comes up and says "NO SNOWBALLS FIGHTS!" the kid purposely ingores her and chucks a snowball at me, which i dodged. The supervisor gets an angry look on her face and begins to walk towards Michael, and he hurls a snowball right into her chest.
She explodes, and starts chasing after him, screaming randomly. He was, and is, a very, VERY, fast kid, and so he outran her, ran right into the street, and promptly ran right down to an intersection, not waiting for the light, and runs across the street. Now at this time, everyone in my grade was looking at him run. We saw the supervisor sprint up to another, say something frantically, and then sprint after him. Meanwhile, Michael had crossed the street and we couldn't see him anymore. Then, when we think it was over, and they had caught him, we saw him running the opposite direction, though still going away from the school. A second later we saw THREE POLICE CARS chasing after him, with that same supervisor following in close pursuit. That was the last we saw of him for the next month, because he got suspended from school.
We later learned from him that he had ran all the way to the local swimming pool (which is a mile and a half away from our school!) and was cornered on all sides by policemen. They actually had to have two policemen wrestle him into the car (and remember, this was a first grader)

Story Number Two: Whoops
When I was five, I had this really bad habit; whenever I decided to go to the bathroom in my house, I pulled down my pants and underwear, and THEN walked to the bathroom. This went on for a few months. Until one day I was watching some Nick Junior show. Since the beginning of the show I had needed to go to the bathroom but I didn't want to miss any of the show, so I waited until the end. By then, I really needed to go. So I got up, pulled down everything, and began walking. Halfway there, I sorta *lost control* and I let loose. God, that was gross. My parents sent me to my room because they were so disgusted with the mess. I'm not so sure that was such a bad punishment, cause boy did it STINK down there

"I could have more fun watching paint dry...
C''mon Blue! Dry Blue! C''mon!"
-The Decline of Video Gaming

[Sharpen]

Ahhhw, poor Boomstix! That's really gross! :D
I know those sorta stories too! Once in my childhood I knew a girl of my age living next door, I was about 6 years old. I always visited her in her garden, were she was wandering around nude. I never stepped into her yard, don't know why. But it may have been a good thing.. While we were laughing and having fun she kinda "lost control" too, and pooped right in front of me. Next time, wear a diaper, girl!
A year later I literally sh*t my pants too because of a traumatic experience (for a child..). I got myself a skyblue teddybear at Christmas that year, it was one of those Cuddle Bears or something.. When you spoke and pinched it's hand he repeated after you. I had fun playing with that bear, he imitated everything I said! Even when I hopped off the stairs on my butt, he imitaded the hopping sound. But once upon a night Cuddle Bear was broken. I was on my way to the bathroom and I took the bear with me, ofcourse playing with it. I pinched it's hand and loudly he answerred: BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP, and so on.. That's when it happened, but one thing.. My mom has never ran the stairs that fast..:P

Close the World, Enter the Next
-Serial Experiments, LAIN-

Edited by - Sharpen on 12/13/2004 12:07:54 PM

[Sharpen]

~Climbing~
Now, this is what overcame me today. Normal day at work, doing my same boring thing: order picking. Wandering the shelves, picking the jeans.. But always the good helping hand to those who are scared of climbing the shelves. We only decide to climb the shelves after all, when we have to. Like, reaching the box on top of the shelves wich is all in the middle. It's like climbing trees to me, same fun. I climb everything that is climable, even over boxes on top of the shelves if I have to. But most of all, that is kinda wiggly.. I thank myself for being short(wich forces me to climb often) and lightweighted. One of the staff girls named Chantal asked me to help her get some jeans out of the highest placed boxes on top. It looked easy to reach, so I was on my way up there. Standing on the topshelve I saw that karton was a couple of rows away, so I decided to climb those rows to it. Those boxes weren't that strong anymore, and Chantal already warned me they were about to collapse. I told her that I was causious and knowing what to do. I bent over the last tower of boxes so I could open the next on top with the jeans Chantal needed, and threw down some pairs. While I was twisting my body throwing and grapping another pair, the row of boxes I clamped on suddenly stumbled sideways. In a second of a reflex I kicked my leg against the row of boxes behind me, so after then I was literally doing the split among two wiggly towers of boxes. It really looked like a crazy circus-stunt, all though it wasn't that fun. I didn't know to put my feet, so I had to jump off on the tiny space left on the shelvetop. While I did, another pair of heavy boxes were about to fall on me. I literally slapped one of those with my hand away off the shelves, and thank God no one was standing underneath it. I climbed down, taking a deep breath together with Chantal who almost freaked out sawing me hanging there. I laughed about it after all ofcourse. ..But it was lesser fun knowing my working knive was still upthere, on those boxes..

Close the World, Enter the Next
-Serial Experiments, LAIN-

Edited by - Sharpen on 12/13/2004 1:01:10 PM

[Lizard Dude]

[Editor's Note: LD just pasted this from the Hommie message board because he's lazy. Thank you.]

Show Me Your Hottest Moves

So while Wag was busy leaving Missoula to judge state, I went to Missoula for the DDR tournament. The machine was DDR Extreme and about 20 people were there, including 8 guys from Seattle and the rest mostly from Missoula with a few Bozemans. It was double-elimination perfect attack, which meant whoever had the most perfects total after three songs (or four if you made the Extra Stage) was the winner. The Seattle people always held the bar with both hands and stomped the pads SUPER hard, but got many perfects that way. It took a dukar long time for all the rounds to go by, but when my first round came up, I got pwned by some tiny little girl. Then my second round came up and I tied the dude on the first song. Then he beat me by about 35 perfects on the second song. Then I beat him by about 20 perfects on the third song. So I lost twice and was one of the first eliminated. At least I got to play a lot of Keyboardmania, but not any Drummania because some kids were having a birthday party and were on it 24/7. I never saw who won in the end, but I bet it was some Seattle person.

The moral of this story is: The people who enter DDR tournaments are butt-good!

“I’m a stupid fatty and I love to play with my Easy Bake oven.”

[boomstix]

Just wanted to revive this topic to say I LOVE DRUMMANIA!

And BTW n00bs this is a really great topic (as Lizard Dude previously mentioned) so I suggest reading the whole thing. Also, nobody forget this topic! If you have a story worth sharing, please do so!

If a tree falls in the woods, do all the others laugh at it?

[Lizard Dude]

The following story was related to me by one of my oldest and dearest friends (also the only person I know who owns more GCN games than me!). Every detail he added had me howling in even more laughter (all his stories are like that!).

Tbe Horror

So my friend is over at his little cousins' house and a little girl comes out of a nearby room and says, "Who put glue in the GameCube?" My friend goes, "@_@" and immediately dashes to the scene. He there finds a GameCube to which some kid has smeared Glitter Glue all around the lip of the lid and then closed it. The glue is getting fairly dry by this point, but my friend immediately sets to work with Q-Tip and Kleenex to remove it. He eventually got it open and further cleaned it, but it was a close call.

And the game that was almost sealed inside forever: Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen - Sweet 16: License to Drive.

“I’m a stupid fatty and I love to play with my Easy Bake oven.”

[CoconutMikeNIke]

Okay, I only can think of one story at this time, and it most likely is nowhere near as good as P,B, & LD, but here it is.


Alright, it was probably mid-July this year, I had been mowing the postage stamp sized yard earlier that day, and threw my shirt to the deck from below on to the deck.  I felt productive that day, and cleaned my room (My mom was getting annoyed with it anyway).  I don't remember the exact time, but it was starting to cool off, so I went back outside to grab my shirt.  I got to it and bent down to get it when my face went right through a spiderweb.  And trust me, it wasn't something like a daddy long-legs web.  This web belonged to a pretty large spider.  My hand was already on the shirt when I realized what my face was in, and I shot straight up, half bouncing, half-running around the deck, slapping, no, whipping, my entire head with the shirt.  (I'll let you know that I am horrendously afraid of spiders.  I actually slept in my bathtub for three nights because I saw a spider on the wall near my bed).  The spider wasn't in the web luckily, but when I turned back to the door, my mother is on the floor, laughing at me.  She hadn't seen me go into the web, just running back and forth hitting my face.
Three days later, I opened my emails and my mother had sent me a letter with funny definitions, like Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with, and there was a note to check the last one-

Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.


 Coconut Mike-N-Ikes->Marios preferred candy

[Suffix]

Heheh, that was a pretty good story. I feel sorry for you, though... Getting your face in a spider web. *shiver*

[Markio]

I would sleep on the couch when I saw a spider in my room, but I now have learned how to get them in a cup and outside or what to say in my remorse prayer if I kill it(yeah, I apologize to God when I kill ants and stuff, I'm crazy).  I slept for two months on the couch because my brother moved back into my room and ruined it, but he moved back into my other brother's room when my other brother moved out and I got my room to myself again, which meant more privacy and less fossilized remains on the floor.

“You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view.” -Atticus Finch

[Lizard Dude]

Hmm, I followed it up until the part about fossilized remains on the floor.

“I’m a stupid fatty and I love to play with my Easy Bake oven.”

[smfan1085]

Earlier tonight I saw a very large brown spider on the wall of my house; I threw it outside with a Kleenex.

I've got a funny story, but I'll have to type it down here some other time.

"You know what we''re having for supper tonight? Boneless, skinless chicken chests." ~My Mom

[Markio]

Sorry LD, my think box got not work-ness there.  I meant that he makes messes and never cleans them up, letting them fossilize; I ripped the phrase off of Calvin and Hobbes.

“You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view.” -Atticus Finch