A guy walks into a bar with his pet giraffe. They both get drunk, and the giraffe passes out. the bartender says to the guy, "You can't leave that lyin' there!" And the guy replies "That's not a lion, it's my giraffe!"
Also, one I heard recently:
Two hunters are in the woods when suddenly, one of them collapses to the ground, not breathing. The other guy gets out his cell phone and calls 911. He says, "I think my friend's dead! What do I do?!" to which the dispatcher replies "Calm down, I can help you. First, you have to make sure he's actually dead." There is a short silence, and then a gunshot is heard. The guy gets back on the phone and says, "Okay, now what?"