Soon, the plumber and the fairy came to the foothills of Mount Lineland. The foothills were brown. Not much else to say about them. There’s a Koopa over there, but he’s not important. “I feel the Pure Heart is closer, but it’s still far away,” Tippi told Mario. “Something tells me you’ll have to put your new skill to use quite often here.”
“Yeah, I guess so,” Mario replied. With that, they headed off. Mario jumped on that Koopa I mentioned earlier and kicked his shell into the Paratroopas that were behind him(I told you he wasn’t very important). He climbed over some hills and saw some rectangles flipping in a pattern; each one would overlap the next when they were all perfectly flat with one another, the area of the overlap being equivalent to a red square about the height of Mario, the square being in a spot where Mario could easily get to it. I mean, it was right beside him! Come
on! ... Anyways, Mario stood in the red square and waited. Eventually, the flipping rectangles carried him up and over a high ledge of the mountain, where there was a switch blocked off by... a block. Mario flipped, stood in front of the block and hit the switch. The switch caused more hills to pop out of the ground, then the hike that happened earlier was basically repeated. He proceeded through the door on the next ledge.
In the next area, Mario climbed up some short ledges and jumped over a gap, stomping on a Koopa in the process. That Koopa was an uncaring jerk, anyways. Mario soon came to a hill that he couldn’t quite jump over. “Why don’t you try flipping here?” Tippi asked. “I can sense something in 3D...”
“Okay, I’ll try that.” Mario flipped and found four paper-thin Surprise Blocks, positioned as a small platform to get over the hill. Mario hit each block, producing a coin from each one, before jumping over them and clearing the ledge. Above the ledge he had just climbed over were some red floaty blocks. He jumped onto them and used them as a bridge, kicking Koopas along the way. On the other side of the block bridge were falling Spiky Tromps, spiked boulders that roll down hills in hopes of crushing travelers. No problem. Mario just flipped past them... literally.
Through a door past the Tromps, Mario and Tippi saw an impassable gap that was, well, impassable. “Well, darn,” Mario groaned. “
Now how will we get any further?”
“I have no idea,” Tippi said. Then she noticed something green out of the corner of her colorless eye. “Hey, look at that...”
A Warp Pipe. “Perfect!” Mario jumped into the pipe, as he had so often done before. At the other end of the pipe was a house on a hill. When they went in the house, it was like someone had planted bombs in strawberries and set them off all over the house. It was very red and very empty. “Another empty house,” Mario said. “Great. Just flippin’ great.”
“That’s it!” Tippi exclaimed. “Mario, maybe you should try flipping here.”
Mario nodded. “Okay,” he said. “Maybe that’ll give us some answers.” He flipped into 3D. As he did so, he started to hear something. It sounded like someone panicking upstairs. Mario went up the stairs to see a man in a red guard’s uniform sitting on the bed, panicking. “Hey,” Mario called to the man. “Are you okay?”
Startled by Mario, the man looked up. A mix of joy and confusion appeared on his face. “You can see me???” the man asked.
“Well, yeah.”
“This is unbelievable!” the man exclaimed. “I’ve been freakin’ out for days and
finally someone sees me!” He did a little jig.
“Really?” Mario asked. “What happened?”
The man explained. “A couple of mornings ago,” he said. “I roll out of the wrong side of the bed. Once I get my coffee, I realize I’m stuck in some freaky parallel dimension!”
“That’s not pleasant.”
“No, it isn’t. I’ve been hollerin’ and flailin’ for days, but no one could hear me... or even see me. Just when I was starting to think I’d be here forever, I see you! You just blipped in here out of thin air!”
“Yeah, I guess I did, didn’t I?” Mario chuckled.
“So, I was thinking,” the man said. “if you can do that, maybe I can hitch a ride back with you?”
“Of course!” Mario told him. He put two fingers on the man’s shoulder and flipped back into 2D, the man being flipped back as well.
“WHUH!” the man exclaimed. “We did it! I’m back to normal!” He did a miniature version of the Macarena out of joy. “Listen, you really bailed me out there! That 3D buisness was freakin’ me out!”
“Don’t you mean business?” Mario asked.
“No, I meant buisness. Anyway, the name’s Red,” Red replied. “If there’s any way I can repay you, just let me know.”
“Well, actually,” Tippi inquired. “There’s this huge chasm we need to cross.”
Red smiled. “So you wanna cross the chasm, huh?” he said proudly. “You found yourself the right guy! But... I can’t let anyone pass without my permission.”
“May we have your permission?” Mario asked.
“Ah, seen Labyrinth, I see.” Red said. “Well, you did save me from being trapped in a parallel dimension and all... Tell ya what. I’m gonna ask you a question. Get the right answer and you can pass.”
“Okay, what’s the question?
Red cleared his throat and asked, “What’s the most manly color in the entire universe? Red or green?”
Mario inwardly laughed at Red’s easy question. “That’s easy,” he answered. “It’s red, of course!”
“Yes, you are SO right!” Red exclaimed. He hopped over to the lever behind his bed and pulled it downward. After a few seconds, Red said, “Alright, you should be good to go. You take ‘er easy!”
“We will,” Mario replied. “Bye!” With that, Mario and Tippi left Red’s house. Outside, where there had once been the huge chasm, there was now a wooden bridge. They crossed it, no problem.
Past the bridge was Yold Town, a quaint little town... emphasis on “quaint”. The only buildings were a shop and three houses. Beyond the small town was another extensive canyon. A young woman walked up to Mario. “Hey,” she said. “Are you the legendary hero?”
“That’s what they call me around here,” Mario said, trying to be modest.
“I knew it!” the woman said. “Well, since you’re the hero, I’ve got some information for you. There’s a lot of secrets hidden in this town. Try and find ‘em!” With that, the woman went off on her merry way.
“Well... that was different...” Mario thought aloud.
Tippi shrugged. “Maybe that was a hint about something?” she suggested. After that weirdness, they explored the town a bit. They bought some things at a shop called Howzit’s, then they checked out some of the houses. One house in particular seemed very suspicious. There was no one living there and the only decoration was a strange fence-like thing. “Hey, Mario...” Tippi said. “Maybe this is what that young woman outside meant about secrets in the town... Why don’t you try flipping here?”
Mario nodded. He flipped into 3D and saw there was a Warp Pipe behind the fence-thing. Mario once again took the plunge into the pipe. Down the pipe was a secret chamber... okay, maybe not so secret. IT WAS FULL OF THWOMPS!!! “Eep!” squealed Tippi. “What do we do now???”
Mario stared at the Thwomps, a small smirk forming on his face. “You know something,” he said to no one in particular. “I get really tired of Thwomps. They always use the same tactics over and over, just falling from the ceiling. They never change. They’re very flat characters, if you know what I mean.” He winked, and Tippi knew what he meant... and later rolled her eyes at his joke. Mario flipped and ran past the paper-thin Thwomps, reaching the door they were guarding. They entered the door... but as soon as they did, bars materialized in front of them. They couldn’t get out!
“Oh no, we’re locked in!” Tippi cried. Then she noticed something, like a setup for a puzzle. There was a block on the floor and some sort of switch at the ceiling, high out of reach. There was also a giant treasure chest. “What do you suppose this is all about?”
“I don’t know,” Mario replied. “But I have a hunch that that chest over there might have a clue or something...” He approached the chest and opened it. At first, nothing happened. Then...
“
Sweet freedom!!!”
A small man flew out of the chest. He looked similar to Tippi, though he had yellow orange hair and wore a suit and tie. He also had a monocle, just for the friggin’ heck of it. Five colored rings floated around his head, making him look very much like a hand. “Wait a moment,” the small man muttered to himself. “If I have been set free, the legendary hero must have done it!” He turned himself to face Mario and Tippi, doing a slight bow when he saw them. “I expressed concern when the Ancients stuffed me in that chest 1500 years ago,” he told them. “But it seems my fears were quite unfounded, for the hero has arrived at last!”
Mario stared dumbfounded at the chest dweller. “Wow,” he said. “Just wow.”
“Are you... a Pixl?” Tippi asked him.
“Why... yes! I am indeed a Pixl! My name is Thoreau!” The Pixl puffed his chest out proudly. “You are a Pixl as well?” he asked Tippi. “But you don’t look familiar... are you a new model?”
“Well... I... uh...”
“No matter! Details
do bore me!” Thoreau replied. “What is important is that I’ve waited
ages to lend my skill to the hero. And, glorious day, here you are! Do take me with you, you simply
must!”
“Okie-dokie,” Mario replied with a smile.
“Smashing!” Thoreau exclaimed. He flew in circles around Mario in pure bliss. “With me at you side, you may grasp objects and hurl them with great vigor! Simply throw me at something and there you have it!”
“Okay, throw you, grab something, throw the something. Gotcha.”
Thoreau smiled. “Why not take a moment to get acquainted with my useful talent?” he asked. “You’ll need to use it if you wish to get out of this room. Ready, steady, GO!” Mario had no idea what Thoreau meant by this, until he remembered the block and the out-of-reach switch. Thinking quickly, he threw Thoreau at the block, grabbed it and threw it at the switch. Almost instantly, the bars on the door disappeared! “Glorious day! Consider me fully at your disposal. Now, to adventure and beyond!” They exited the room and backtracked all the way to Yold Town. There was still the matter of the second impassable crevasse to deal with. Mario figured that to get across, they would have to speak with Yold Town’s mayor(as was often the case in these situations), so they searched until they found someone who seemed like the mayor: a crotchety, bearded old man wearing a blue robe and holding a cane.
“Whoozit?!!” the mayor exclaimed when they entered his house. “I’m the elder here, so watch it! Whaddaya want? Get off of my rug!” He shook his cane at them as he said this.
“Well,” Mario explained. “We were hoping to pass through town. We kinda need to do something, so please?”
The mayor scoffed. “Nothin’ but desert past here,” he told them. “That’s what this here is for. Yold Town. Keeps the treasure safe from you. Watch it! Can’t let you pass. See this lil guy in my pocket? He’s got somethin’ to say to you. Know what he says? WATCH IT! So give it up.”
“I think you’re misunderstanding us, sir,” Tippi spoke up. “You see, this is the hero of legend...”
“Hero of legend?
Dumplings! If he was, which he’s <i<>not, he’d have a Pixl that’s shaped like a hand! You don’t, so there.”
At this point, Thoreau poked the mayor on his shoulder. “I beg your pardon, sir...”
“Oh, you do!” the mayor realized. “Course you do! You’re the hero! Knew it all along! I’ll give that Green feller a call. He’ll get you across.” The mayor took out his cell phone and hit a speed dial button. “Hello, Green? It’s me, Watchitt. I said Watchitt... WATCH IT! I said
Watchitt, not botch it! This hero feller wants to cross the bridge. Yes, I told him about the grit. Ah... yes, let’s just keep that between us. Just let the mustache guy through.” He hung up his cell phone and shook his cane at Mario and Tippi once more. “Just get off of my rug and go talk to Green at the edge of town... WATCH IT!” Watchitt then smiled. “Well, looks like I can finally retire, ‘cuz my job’s done! When you’re in the desert, keep a watchful eye out for some ruins. The treasure is there. Nasty beasts, too. So WATCH IT!”
“Thanks, I will,” Mario replied. They left crotchety old Watchitt’s house and headed to the edge of town, where Green lived. Inside Green’s house, they found out that he really lived up to his name. Just about everything in his house was some shade of green.
“I got a call from Old Man Watchitt,” Green told Mario. “So you’re the hero guy, then? Right on! I’ll put the bridge across for you straight away!” He raised a lever, which raised the bridge outside. “There you go!” As Mario turned to leave, Green asked, “Mind if I ask you a question? Red or green, which is better?”
Mario didn’t really know how to answer this question. Personally, he always looked best in red, but that didn’t mean he didn’t like green. I mean, it could be big like a mountain or important like a river or tall like a tree... “Um... both?”
“WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!! TAKE YOUR INDECISIVE WAYS AND YOUR HIDEOUS RED ATTIRE
OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!!!” And with that, Mario was kicked out of Green’s house. No matter. Petty things such as which color is better had no importance when the whole universe was at stake. He got up, brushed himself off and went onward across the newly raised bridge towards the desert.
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