7806
« on: August 15, 2006, 01:58:00 AM »
A while back, on GameFAQs, I came up with my explanation of the Koopalings, which I'm pretty sure was based on an idea I read somewhere, (maybe even here) and it's since evolved into a 27-page timeline. I'll condense it a bit. It draws from a lot of different sources, much of which is my own imagination. I've taken quite a bit of liberty in some parts. Also, I haven't played several rather important games yet, so it's subject to change.
Note: Years are dated in relation to Super Mario Bros. Dates before it are BM, and dates after it are AM. (Before Marios and After Marios.) The year of Super Mario Bros. is technically just 0, and is commonly referred to as "The Year."
Other note: The timeline has SPOILERS for every Mario game I can remember playing. Read at your own risk.
c. 20,000,000,000 BM - The Star Spirits create the universe with the Star Rod.
c. 1,500,000 BM - The Magikoopa Order is established.
c. 4500 BM
- The princess Shokora (not Shakira) is captured by the Golden Diva in some kind of plot to rule the world.
-The Golden Diva traps Shokora in the Golden Pyramid and puts a time-seal on the pyramid and the surrounding jungle. However, she accidentally traps heself inside the pyramid as well. Realizing this at the last minute, she puts a seal on the doors of the pyramid to make sure Shokora stays trapped.
-As a result of the time-seal, time in the pyramid and the jungle slows to a virtual standstill, capturing not only Shokora, the Golden Diva, and the five guardians of the pyramid, but also the towering dinosaurs of the jungle, which will later be known as Dino Dino Jungle.
-Neither of the Golden Diva's seals affect creatures smaller than humans. Realizing this, Shokora begins using her magic to transform into a cat. It takes a long time, though.
-Smaller dinosaurs escape the jungle and go to a small archipelago which will later be known as Dinosaur Land.
c. 4000 BM - The human inhabitants of Dinosaur Land build castles across the land.
c. 3000 BM - The Great Tree is planted. Over time, its seeds produce the Boggly Woods.
1749 BM - Hooktail gets food poisoning from a cricket.
c. 1500 BM - The Luff create the Marvelous Compass and use it to form a totalitarian world empire.
c. 1000 BM
- Geno (I can't write his real name) is born.
- The Shadow Queen creates the Crystal Stars to hold the power of the heavens.
980 BM
- The Four Heroes, a strong Toad, a wise Goomba, a scarred, worldly Koopa, and a Boo, use the Crystal Stars to defeat the Shadow Queen and seal her away after she destroys Old Rogueport.
- The Shadow Queen puts a curse on the Four Heroes.
-The Four Heroes scatter the Crystal Stars across the nearby areas, finally each being sealed in a black chest when they release their last Crystal Star.
-The Marvelous Compass stops tolerating the corruption of the Luff Empire and destroys them. The few remaining Luff dismantle the Compass and scatter the pieces.
476 BM - Kamek is born.
234 BM - Booster is born.
208 BM - Booster begins constructing Booster Tower.
207 BM - Booster II is born. Booster I is forced to stop building Booster Tower after building only a single story. He passes on the responsibility to Booster II.
181 BM - Booster II begins constructing another story on Booster Tower. As he is building it, Booster I dies. Booster II adds another story in his memory.
140 BM - Booster III adds three stories to Booster Tower to show off. This establishes the tradition of each Booster adding a number of stories to the tower equal to his generational number.
114 BM - A traveling Dayzee troupe founds Jazzafrazz Town to give them a permanent venue for their dramas.
100 BM - Victor Koopa is born.
70 BM
- Victor and the Mushroom King sign a peace treaty.
- Morton Koopa is born.
69 BM - The Mushroom Kingdom/Koopa Empire collaborative space program lands a Goomba on the primary moon.
53 BM - Morton secretly kills his father Victor and begins planning an attack on the Mushroom Kingdom.
50 BM - Elvin Gadd begins researching ghosts.
42 BM - Elvin Gadd and a Goomba named Goom found the University of Goom. The name was chosen over Gadd Institute thanks to a coin toss. However, coins in the Mushroom Kingdom look the same on both sides, so they didn't know who won. Gadd, being the more modest, conceded the contest to Goom.
30 BM
- Morton begins his campaign against the Mushroom Kingdom.
- The Mushroom Queen is killed, driving the king into insanity. The Chancellor assumes leadership of the kingdom.
-Bowser is born.
27 BM - Kamek unsuccessfully tries to stop the birth of Mario and Luigi to their parents, Maria and Luke. He is too afraid to report the to Morton.
23 BM - Past events of Partners in Time.
22 BM
- Kamek finally admits his failure five years ago to Morton. Morton orders that all Mushroom children be killed.
- Maria and Luke come to E.Gadd, asking him to save Mario and Luigi. When he is convinced that they are the twins in the ancient Koopa prophecy, he puts them into his early dimensional transport and sends them to Earth. They land in Little Italy, where they are raised by a middle-aged couple. Just as they are sent away, Gadd's base is raided by Koopatrols. Maria and Luke are captured and questioned, but when no amount of torture can get them to disclose Mario and Luigi's location, they are set free.
-Booster VII is born.
20 BM
- A mysterious inventor in a parallel universe begins "The Smithy Project," a robot that will maintain itself and form and command an army.
- Princess Daisy is born in Sarasaland. Her father is killed that same day fighting against the Koopas. Her mother finds a dimensional portal created by the Magikoopas and drops Daisy off at Saint Teresa's, on Fulton Street. (Is it a coincidence that Teresa is Boo's Japanese name?)
18 BM - Punchinello is trapped in the Moleville Mines.
7 BM - Mario's girlfriend, Pauline, is kidnapped by Donkey Kong. She dies three months later from injuries sustained from the incident. Mario leaves his construction job, because it reminds him too much of her, and goes into demolition, with obvious emotional parallels.
6 BM
-Valentina is hired as a regal assistant. Little do the Nimbusians know that it is part of her plot to take over Nimbus Land.
-Mallow is born.
5 BM
-Queen Nimbus gets suspicious about Valentina and puts Mallow in a floating basket, along with an explanatory note, hoping to keep him safe. He is found by Frogfucius.
-Valentina locks the king, queen, and their employees in a closet, telling the Nimbusians that they have become deathly ill, and the castle is therefore quarantined.
4 BM - The Marios start a plumbing business.
2 BM - Scapelli, Inc., a multi-national corporation owned by the Scapelli mob family, proposes a merger of eleven plumbing companies, absorbing them all into Scapelli Plumbing, which begins to pose a major threat toward Mario Bros. Plumbing.
0 - Scapelli Construction begins building a skyscraper. During initial earthmoving, a rich fossil bed is found, and a group of NYU students, led by Daisy, protests against Scapelli. Mario, Luigi, and Daisy stumble across the same portal Daisy's mother used, and come out in Little Fungitown, a Mushroom refugee camp set up by Queen Bean. Bowser kidnaps Peach to lure Mario and Luigi to the castle, where he will kill them. However, the plan backfires. Bowser falls into a lava river and is sucked through an underground current. He comes out in the remains of an ancient Koopa village, where he finds eight Koopa eggs. He brings them back to the castle to see if Kamek can do anything with them.
1 AM - Tatanga attacks Sarasaland, kidnapping Daisy. Luigi saves her. (Yeah, the game said it was Mario. Don't believe it. Just more Engrish. You don't really think there's a monster called Yurarin Boo, do you?)
2 AM - While Mario has a nightmare, Kamek hatches seven of the eight eggs and puts growth acceleration on them.
3 AM - Smithy turns on his inventor and begins constructing an army.
4 AM - Morale of the Koopa occupiers in the last seven Mushroom territories even nominally under Koopa control is at an all-time low. Bowser sends his seven "children" to kick them back into shape. As Mario and Luigi defeat the Koopalings, however, Bowser kidnaps Peach, deciding that a Koopa-human crossover in line for the thrones of both the Koopa Empire and the Mushroom Kingdom would be ideal. Mario and Luigi save her.
5 AM
- Peach asks Mario and Luigi to take her on a vacation to Dinosaur Land. Coincidentally, Bowser is there, as most of his soldiers have left him. He kidnaps Peach, and Mario and Luigi save her.
- The first Mario, Bowser, and Peach acton figures go on sale.
- Hooktail awakens.
6 AM
-Bowser decides the only way to kidnap Peach is to kidnap Mario first. He takes him to a castle in Antarctica. Luigi and Yoshi are able to follow him, however, so he creates a distraction by sending the few loyal Koopa Troopas into the world to steal precious artifacts and cause worldwide havoc. To put Luigi under more stress, Bowser puts a time limit on him by ordering several thousand hair dryers from Hafta-Havit Mail-Order, owned by Scapelli, Inc., to melt Antarctica and flood the world. Luigi stops the plot and saves Mario. Together, they stuff Bowser in a cannon and shoot him into the tundra, where he freezes and breaks in half, apparently dead.
-What Mario and Luigi didn't know was that it was just a prototype Bowser suit, while the real Bowser had kidnapped Peach back in the Mushroom World. Mario ran to Bowser's Castle and rescued Peach from him, but before they could leave, they were all shot in different directions when Exor hit the castle. Events of SMRPG follow.
7 AM - Luigi's Mansion. The full Bowser suit is put to the test.
8 AM
- Super Mario 64
- The eighth egg is hatched, but it resists growth acceleration.
10 AM
-Mario & Luigi
-Koopley goes to Hooktail Castle to fight Hooktail. He does not return.
13 AM - Mario & Luigi 2 present events
20 AM - PM:TTYD
26 AM - DDR: Mario Mix: Bowser steals the Music Keys to cure his tone-deafness. Once word of this gets out, his evil deeds are reduced to bitter party-crashing.
999,020 AM - The Thousand-Year Door opens for the thousandth time. That has to be worth something.