I am supporting the real psychopaths because I think I may suffer from Manic Depression, meaning I can be really normal one minute and the next, I may not appear to have changed, but I feel like a totally different person. I divided myself into 2 catagories, or persons. One guy is the ss-masiah you are talking to now, I like to call him "Live and Let Live. Kyle" The other guy is not around that often, but is a significant other,although I don't like him, I like to call him "Live and Let Die. Kyle". Let me explain who they are.
"Live and Let Live" Kyle
-He loves music
-He is inspired by everything around him
-Likes to observe things from different points of view
-He likes to love, he loves everybody, but loves certain induviduals even more
-Likes peoples personalities, instead of their social stand-point or looks
-Likes art
-Likes to think that people live to create, and that the whole human being revolves around art and beauty, and yes, he thinks that to a degree, everything is good looking.
-Lets just say He is in love with everything and everything God has given him, basically a "Hippie"
"Live and Let Die" Kyle
-Will spend money to get a good high, even if it's only one trip
-He wants to fight someone, it has to be someone he hates, but he wants to know the thrill of punching someone who doesn't even know it's coming.
-He is annoyed by the littlest things
-He will steal something that he is going to use. But not from anyone he knows.
-He could never kill anyone or even commit suicide, but always thinks of what would happen if he did. And after he thinks of the consequences, he still admits he could never kill anything purposefully(this is one of the good traits about him, but even thinking about these things makes him feel bad)
-He often thinks of physical traits of people and dreams of a purely material or physical relationship, but admits this would make him very sad in the end, and would be ashamed of himself. But keep in mind he always thinks about it. Like it's in the back of his mind.
-He blames himself for not getting to know his Grandmother better, and Ultimatley blames himself for her death, even though he knows that she would highly disagree. But still misses her and thinks that all the years of Earth couldn't take away the pain of missing her.
Well those were it, it is kind of hard to admit but I feel somewhat similar feeling of those all the time, I don't know what triggers them. I can't get rid of them no matter how hard I try. I will go on dry streaks though, without seeing the bad side of myself for a month or 2. But I think that everyone has 2 persons in them to tell you the truth, its just a matter of how well they know them.