I'm sorry to hear that. Perhaps if you had more experience, it would have worked out. Oh, well. The important thing is that everyone should have a working NES! I'm glad you're happy with the new connector!
Basically, the operation will work regardless of how far you bend the pins--provided they each touch an inserted cart. I wouldn't bend them too far, though, as that can change the angle or depth at which the cart must be inserted: If you look at each pin, they're all slanted. You want an NES cart's board to come right down on the apex, IIRC. Raise the pins too high, and that won't happen. You'll end up having to brace the cart at a different angle, using a Game Genie or a piece of cardboard, etc. On the other hand, raise the pins too low, and you've effectively done nothing.