I'm just going to post my facebook quote section here and be done with it. A few of these won't make sense to anyone but I'll leave them in for the mystery. Looks like the oldest stuff got cut off over the years due to various facebook format changes.
"When God gets up in the morning and reads his Facebook News, this is the sort of thing he reads and shakes his head at: 'Matt Welch removed "Math" from his interests.'"
~Joseph Shelton
"Wendy's is too gross, even for evading cops."
~Michael Welch, while trying to decide where to eat while simultaneously trying to ditch a trailing cop due to friend-induced stoplight tomfoolery
"Is that Superman III?"
"Spider-Man 2."
"That kick packed a punch."
~Michael Welch
"Mock them. Pwn them. But never hate them. For without n00bs, we would not be 1337."
~teh_masterer
"It's unfortunate you were born in real life."
~Rani
"We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing."
~George Bernard Shaw
"by the way, your facebook picture is the gayest picture i've ever seen of not only you, but of anyone on facebook, ever"
~Doug Dale
"What you must realize is that a true pwner pwns all games. If one wants to truly pwn, one must pwn in ALL games."
~teh_masterer
"There is a way always to pwn."
~teh_masterer
"When you're not practicing, remember that someone somewhere, is practicing, and when you meet him he will win."
~Ed Macauley
"Sure, the PSP was beautiful, shining, pretty, and posh, whereas the DS was definitely the ugly sister. But hey, the ugly sister is better in the sack."
~Jeff Minter
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt."
~Bertrand Russell
"There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the instrument plays itself."
~Johann Sebastian Bach
"In most sciences one generation tears down what another has built, and what one has established another undoes. In mathematics alone each generation builds a new story to the old structure."
~Hermann Hankel
"Playing videogames that take a long time is bittersweet. You always wonder, 'Is this the best way to spend my life?' But it kind of is."
~Chris Taylor
"Now smell the bottom of the vase."
~Seth Chart
Pol. - What do you read, my lord?
Ham. - Words, words, words.
~Shakespeare, Hamlet
"These kids today with their collector numbers and their newfangled tap symbol. Twenty Black Lotuses and twenty Plague Rats. Now that's real Magic."
~Old Fogey's flavor text
"Hey everybody! I'm a red shell!"
~Carl's errant red shell in Mario Kart DS
"This land will be as devoid of beauty as your face."
~Koal, Advance Wars: Dual Strike
"I'm Christian Bocher, portraying the character of Raymond Gunn, who portrays the character of Dr. Levant, which is based on the character Daniel Jackson portrayed by the actor Michael Shanks, originally portrayed by the actor James Spader in the feature film."
~Christian Bocher, in the Behind the Scenes of Stargate SG-1 episode #100, Wormhole X-Treme!
"Give a man slow internet, and he'll facebook for a day. Give a man fast internet, and he'll facebook for the rest of his life."
~Peter J. Spangelo, when I wouldn't get off his fast internet
