Print

Author Topic: Help with a story  (Read 4864 times)

« on: May 06, 2003, 06:23:39 PM »
I'm writing a Mario and Luigi story. Can I have some help?

*spray paints on wall*
Mario and Luigi wuz here!

Sapphira

  • Inquiring
« Reply #1 on: May 06, 2003, 06:28:59 PM »
You've got to give more information than THAT. I'd be willing to help. I can proof-read it for you if you'd like. First, what's it about?

--------------------
If things don''t go your way, just keep complaining until your dreams come true.
"The surest way to happiness is to lose yourself in a cause greater than yourself."

« Reply #2 on: May 06, 2003, 06:41:24 PM »
It's about well, um. Oh, yes. The beginning is where we first introduce Mario and Luigi, describe them, and then the news says that strange monsters have been popping up from the sewer pipes. Since they are plumbers, they go to investigate and are sucked into the pipe and thrown into the Mushroom Kingdom. The pipe was a Warp Pipe. That's where the monsters are coming from.
how does it sound?

*spray paints on wall*
Mario and Luigi wuz here!

Sapphira

  • Inquiring
« Reply #3 on: May 06, 2003, 06:57:12 PM »
Groovy :)
All fanfic is encouraged. :)

--------------------
If things don''t go your way, just keep complaining until your dreams come true.
"The surest way to happiness is to lose yourself in a cause greater than yourself."

« Reply #4 on: May 06, 2003, 07:02:07 PM »
All right! Its always great to see another person with a fanfic to post. With my fanfic(The Hero's Blood) I encourage people to tell me what they like, don't like, predictions, and overall reactions. I use their comments when I edit my story to help cater to the audience. Let us know if you need any help!

Spill the blood of the innocent!!! Then clean it before it makes a mess!
Like a sponge, thirsty I am!

« Reply #5 on: May 06, 2003, 07:03:03 PM »
Thanks. I already started working on it now. I even made a cover for it. Im using microsoft word. maybe u could give me your email adress and i could send it to u.

*spray paints on wall*
Mario and Luigi wuz here!

« Reply #6 on: May 06, 2003, 07:04:27 PM »
that mesage was for Sapphira.

*spray paints on wall*
Mario and Luigi wuz here!

« Reply #7 on: May 06, 2003, 07:09:13 PM »
Oh, okay.(slowly walks to corner, and begins to cry softly)

Spill the blood of the innocent!!! Then clean it before it makes a mess!
Like a sponge, thirsty I am!

« Reply #8 on: May 06, 2003, 07:09:43 PM »
Oh, okay.(slowly walks to corner, and begins to cry softly)

Spill the blood of the innocent!!! Then clean it before it makes a mess!
Like a sponge, thirsty I am!

« Reply #9 on: May 06, 2003, 07:10:22 PM »
Oh, okay.(slowly walks to corner, and begins to cry softly)

Spill the blood of the innocent!!! Then clean it before it makes a mess!
Like a sponge, thirsty I am!

« Reply #10 on: May 06, 2003, 07:12:27 PM »
dude, if you want it too, you can have it.

*spray paints on wall*
Mario and Luigi wuz here!

« Reply #11 on: May 06, 2003, 07:16:55 PM »
better yet, i'll just post the first part of the story here!

1

   Mario Mario and Luigi Mario were brothers, and the best plumbers in Brooklyn, New York. They both had black hair and bushy black mustaches. It was hard to tell who was who, but Mario was stockier and bulkier that Luigi, and not to mention shorter. Luigi was tall and slim.
   The brothers had just returned home from a very hard day of plumbing. They owned their own company, “Mario Bros Plumbing”. They even had their own motto: “The coolest Italian guys to hit Brooklyn!” They made lots of money and never really got time to relax. So when they got home, they “treasured” the time they had off of work. Not until someone had a leaky faucet, or a broken shower. The Mario Bros even had their own work suits: a black shirt, white overalls with the words “Mario Bros Plumbing” printed on them. They also wore black boots. They designed them themselves.

Enjoy the first part? well, there is a lot more to come! I would have included the title pg, but it would take up too much space.

*spray paints on wall*
Mario and Luigi wuz here!

« Reply #12 on: May 07, 2003, 05:30:46 PM »
Here is the other part of the story. There is stil a lot more to come. Tell me, does it start out too fast?

1

   Mario Mario and Luigi Mario were brothers, and the best plumbers in Brooklyn, New York. They both had black hair and bushy black mustaches. It was hard to tell who was who, but Mario was stockier and bulkier that Luigi, and not to mention shorter. Luigi was tall and slim.
   The brothers had just returned home from a very hard day of plumbing. They owned their own company, “Mario Bros Plumbing”. They even had their own motto: “The coolest Italian guys to hit Brooklyn!” They made lots of money and never really got time to relax. So when they got home, they “treasured” the time they had off of work. Not until someone had a leaky faucet, or a broken shower. The Mario Bros even had their own work suits: a black shirt, a white hat, and white overalls with the words “Mario Bros Plumbing” printed on them. They also wore black boots. They designed them themselves.
   Mario and his brother kicked off their boots and sat back on the couch.

*   *   *
   Later that day, the Mario brothers were sent down into the sewer to check some pipes. They were told that strange looking creatures were popping out of them. The “monsters” had apparently broken the pipe in half.
   Luigi parked the plumbing van on the side of the road and climbed down to the sewer and immediately saw that the people were not lying one bit. The place was filled with odd looking creatures that looked like turtles. They had a yellow body with a red shell with spikes.
   â€œMama-Mia, what do we have here, Mario?” Luigi asked.
   â€œI don’t know, but I sure don’t like it.” Mario replied. Luigi set his tool box down to have a better look. He and Mario walked closer to the pipes. One pipe was very large; it could fit a man inside!
   â€œIs this a pipe?” Mario asked.
   â€œI have no idea. But this looks like this is where the turtle things are coming out of. Mario, did you bring a flashlight?” Luigi asked.
   â€œYes, here it is.” Mario said, pulling the flashlight from his belt. Luigi shined it in the pipe.
   â€œMama-Mia, look at that.” Luigi said. Mario looked in the pipe and could see a whole other world on the other side.



*spray paints on wall*
Mario and Luigi wuz here!

« Reply #13 on: May 07, 2003, 06:55:14 PM »
Pretty good, but I found one tiny little error: the Mario Bros have brown hair, not black hair.

« Reply #14 on: May 07, 2003, 07:14:25 PM »
Yes, I know. I just did that so it could match their mustaches.

*spray paints on wall*
Mario and Luigi wuz here!

Print