Living life as a turtle meant I could live a long time. I'd have plenty of time to accomplish all of my goals. Throughout my life I had gathered riches, built castles, and attained more power than any other turtle before me. That was all great, but what I wanted more than anything was a wife; someone to spend time with and care about.
It was over twenty years ago when I found the woman of my dreams. However, she never loved me back. I tried desperately for years to get her to enjoy her time with me. I took her on all sorts of special dates- underwater, in space, in one of my many homes.
But every time I've tried to take her out, some god awful plumber shows up, occasionally bringing his good-for-nothing friends, and spoils my time. I haven't quite figured him out after all this time, but I think he's jealous of me.
For example, last week I took the girl of my dreams for a go-kart ride up to my castle since she loves the view up there. Next thing I knew, the plumber found me and was trying to smash my head in with his feet! He stole my woman from me, and left me to die. My shell was cracked, my love was taken away again, and the man with the mustache smiled.
