Bored Wars Episode VI: Return of the Vlagranian

[TEM]

TEM: It's been a while...
Speed Wrecker: Ho Ho! *runs over TEM*
Roy: (...)

?!?

Time slowed and Reality bent.
But on and on the Eggman went.

[Vidgmchtr]

Navi: Hey! Listen!

Vidgmchtr: I'm on the phone! Can it wait?

Navi: No.

Vidgmchtr: *Hangs up the phone* What?

Navi: The door is locked.

Vidgmchtr: ..........*Bangs head on table to the point where blood starts coming out*

[Koopaslaya]

Mee: I wanted this one back
YOu: wow this si Back back back
Me: Yay for homeruns
You: Wait I didn't say that
Me: Say what?
You: Under there.
Me: Under Where?
Hahahahahahahahahahah! YES!

[Insane Steve]

Roshan: Oh, hi guys. This is your local neighborhood BORED protaganist. Before we continue with another rousing episode of BORED, I'd like to point out something that's been bothering me about the past couple attempts at this:

While randomness and strange humor is HIGHLY encouraged, and ridiculous plot twists are a must to ensure the success of the series, please respect the continuity of the story enough to at least allow the people posting to be about to make sense of it. Last few times, we had everyone posting their own stories and nothing actually ever happened. So, please, make sure your post actually contributes to the story, and everyone will have a gre---

[Roshan is hit in the face with a foam replica of a cinder block]

Roshan: Ah! What the---
Random Object Throwing Person: BOOM! HEAD SHOT!
Rick: Can I go now? Seriously. I don't even know why I was brought here in the first place.
Pokerman: BOOM! EIGHTS FULL OF THREES!
Roy: (So much for continuity...)

How long will THIS series last?
Will I actually get paid for my announcing this time, unlike last time, you filthy, freeloading sack of crap?
Find out sometime, maybe never, on

BORED VI[II?]

~I.S.~

[Suffix]

Roshan: "Must I be the target of all your projectiles?!"
Random Object Throwing Person: "Actually, I see a guy over there. I've got some great cantelopes just for the occasion..."
Roshan: "Thank goodness. I need to track down some of my fellow coworkers here at BORED. I wonder who I will find?"
Narrator: And so, Roshan set out on a fantastic journey to discover the whereabouts of such reknowned people as Unknown "Final" Opponent (informally known as U "F" O), the great Vlagranian (who always had a plan), that one researcher-that-never-finds-anything-of-use, and the bored-- I mean, board of directors responsible for the popular UIOA- Am I boring you? Good. As I was saying, the UIOA, or "United-" OWWW! OOO! What the catelope?!
Random Object Throwing Guy: This guy in a suit makes the best target ever!

WHAT? I'M ON MY BREAK. GO AWAY.

[Suffix]

Roshan: If it weren't for your ability to clarify what's going on... (as if that were possible) I'd poke you into oblivion with this metal s'poke. Erm, spoke.
Narrator: Huh? Oh, wait, it was a clue he found! Um, in the forest!
Roshan: A metal spoke?

Narrator: ...

Roshan: Ahem?
Narrator: Just becuase I follow the path of events, doesn't mean that I have to *poke'd* HATTENSWIELER! Fine, look at the sides!
Roshan: A bit of tan colored cloth. I don't get it.
Narrator: And so, our (dimwitted) hero proceeds into the thick fog that drenches the forest.

...

Roshin: So, how about this think fog? Talk about having your head in the clouds!
Drummer: *rimshot*
Narrator: *shoots and hoops, hits the rim*

Lampshade: I hate this forest!

WAS IT PART OF POOR LAMPSHADE?
WHAT MIGHT LAMPSHADE HAVE TO DO WITH THE FOREST?
TWO IMAGINARY LAMPSHADES APPROACH EACH OTHER IN AN IMAGINARY FOREST, SOLVE FOR i?

Edited by - Suffix on 10/18/2005 4:52:56 PM

[Yoshisaurus Rex]

Before I begin with more of the story I just want to clarify that in my last story I told about the Boredians I didn’t actually mean that my “boredom is better than anyone else’s” whatever that means.  Everyone has equal creativity and it didn’t mean anything anyway anyhow.  Maybe I’ll finish that story some day if it’s okay with the “rules” here.  But anyway…

TAKE HEED, BORED MORTAL!  WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO BEHOLD MAY DISTURB YOU TO THE CORE OF YOUR BEING!  THE CORE OF YOUR BEING, I TELL YOU!!

Roshan: Woah!  Who said that?

Lampshade: Some abnoxious immortal guy, don’t know.  Anyway, don’t you just hate this fogy forrest?  It’s so creepy, man!

Roshan: It’s spelled ‘foggy’ and ‘forest’ according to spel chek.  And yes I hate it.  I also hate how the author of this story has almost no BORED experience and yet is talking about us like he has some kind of clue about us.  I think he should be fired.  Out of a cannon.

Loud Mysterious Voice: HE WHO SHOOTS HIS MOUTH OFF SHALL BE SHOT!!! *shoots at them with a BB gun but misses*

Lampshade: There’s that loud mysterious voice again, and he tried to shoot us this time.  Pretty nonthreatening and irritating if you ask me.  So where should we go now?  Can we go to the—woah!  Hold on!  What’s that?

Roshan: It’s nothing.  Just a four-headed fire-sneezing giraffe.  Oh hold on… I think that’s a bad thing.

LS: Shall we run from the beast in sheer terror?

Roshan: Yes, let’s.  Waaaaaaaaaaggghhhhh! *run away in sheer*

LS: Let’s get out of here!  This way! *runs into a tree in the fog* No, this way!

Roshan: Oh no!  It’s a mythical Griffith with razor sharp teeth and a snake tail!

LS: You mean Griffin?

Roshan: Yeah, Griffinth… whatever!  This way!  NO!  It’s the U. “F.” O.!

LS: Monsters are everywhere in the forisd!  Better go—AAAGGGH!  It’s Derob, the giant evil robot n00b!

Derob: How do you destroy the forest again?

Roshan: Only one way left to go now!  Gasp!  *screams like a girl* Not him!  Not… Wally T. Dukar!  The evil Duke of Dukar with his magic Dukar wand!

LS: We’re surrounded!  We’re going to die in this fogggy forrrest thanks to you!  What the cheese do we do now? *eats some cheese*

Roshan: There is only one thing we can do now!

LS: The Dew?  The chicken dance?  Use your jet pack to escape?

Roshan: Nope.  We must use… *deep breath*… the swored of BORED!!!

LS: Ynaaaaaaack!  Not that!  Are you crazy?!  The sword of BORED is the most powerful and dangerous and sweet weapon in the whole BORED universe!  It’s been rumored that anyone who uses it could destroy their planet in the process, reducing it to dukar.  It’s supposed to be something you only use as a last resort, dude!

Roshan: I don’t care if I destroy all of Boredum by doing this.  Our lives are at steak!  I shall get out the 9 gems of BORED I have found and put them together to make the swored right now.

LS: Fine!  Then I’m telling on you! *starts to run away*

Roshan: Come back here or I’ll take away your bread allowance!  Now then while I do this, you distract them somehow.

LS: Ugh!  Fine! *pulls a record player out of thin air and plays some sweet Mega Man music*

Enemies: MEGA MAN!  SWEET!!

Roshan: Alright.  First I’ll get out the http://www.classicgaming.com/tmk/board/topic.asp?topic_id=76931&forum_id=1058&Topic_Title=Bored%2DMKXVII+GP+Legend&forum_title=&M=0&S=True>Ennui gem and put it on the ground.  Next the http://www.classicgaming.com/tmk/board/topic.asp?topic_id=75262&forum_id=502&Topic_Title=Bored+%99%A9%AE&forum_title=&M=1&S=True>Incuriosity gem next to that one.  Then the http://www.classicgaming.com/tmk/board/topic.asp?topic_id=64408&forum_id=1059&Topic_Title=Bored%2DMKII+GT&forum_title=&M=0&S=True>Indifference gem.  http://www.classicgaming.com/tmk/board/topic.asp?topic_id=64412&forum_id=1058&Topic_Title=boredom+killed+black+yoshi+again&forum_title=&M=0&S=True>Irksomeness!  http://www.classicgaming.com/tmk/board/topic.asp?topic_id=63878&forum_id=1058&Topic_Title=BOREDOM+HAS+STRUCK+IT%27S+VICTIM%21%21%21%21&forum_title=&M=0&S=True>Lethargy!  http://www.classicgaming.com/tmk/board/topic.asp?topic_id=66361&forum_id=1058&Topic_Title=boredmkIII+No+sense+need+mama+mia+mario&forum_title=&M=0&S=True>Monotony, http://www.classicgaming.com/tmk/board/topic.asp?topic_id=72779&forum_id=1058&Topic_Title=The+lamentations+of+a+bored+mushroom&forum_title=&M=0&S=True>Unconcem, Yawn, and finally Laziness!! *gems merge together and start to glow*  That’s it!  The sword appeareth! *rediculously huge gold sword appeareth*

LS: It’s huge!  Rediculously huge!  It should be illegal to have a sword that big!  Even for this thread!  Exclamation point!

Roshan the monstrous sword yielder: Now, you evil things… prepare to meat your dume!  I… SHALL SMITE THEE!!!!

Chup Reporter: Good evening, BORED folks.  Today Roshan just destroyed the world today with the very awersome swored of BORED.

LS: Am I the only one who can pronounce ‘sword’ correctly?!

CR: Probably.  And also in the news… YR is clearly more insane than bored for doing all of that html work for squat.  This… is BORED news. *gets hit by a cantaloupe* You’ll pay for that! *hurls coconuts back*

(E I):o{D___(--I I):o(D___(o 8(= P)___(= (:  )@)___(3 I)}:O})+)___<( )=(: )) )

Edited by - Yoshisaurus Rex on 10/28/2005 9:09:29 AM

[Koopaslaya]

Taco King- Hey, this is back!

Lord Walrus: No kidding!

Taco King- Isn't this exciting?

Lord Walrus: I wouln't eat you, taco, I only eat fresh fish.

Fresh Fish; What about me?!

Lord Walrus: Woah! A talking fish!

[Mr. Melee]

Mario: So, heard of this-a TMK site?

Luigi: No, don't-a use the computer much.

Mario: I-a heard its-a pretty good-a. Want to see it?

Luigi: Sure. Nothing is-a on my plans for today.

[Suffix]

Roshan: Obviously, some people need to re-read my explanation.