Hi all. Some may remember me from a looooong time ago in a forum near, near away. Here's my take on Mario.
Chpater one: The new me
Mario and Luigi Zangrande were the most expensive and skilled plumbers to ever exist (arguably). Their top-notch service had attracted the eyes of royals, nobles, dictators and S.O.M.-I.P. (Society Of Mafia Involved Plumbers) members alike.
This skill and expensiveness was due to their method of work. They alone built the Mushroom Kingdom's (the self-styled greatest empire around, named after the crop which gave them trade) unique pipe system- which incorporated sorcery to provide teleportation to wherever the user desired. But, due to trade secrets, only they could use the system and go to any sink, tap, bath, shower you get the point or the many pipes they had stuck in over the kingdom.
Why am I telling you this?
The Zangrande brothers are the focus of this tale. More exactly, Mario is the star. At the time we base this around, he was dating the intelligent, nice and wolf-whistle deserving Princess Peach Toadstool. The royals had named themselves after one of their beloved crops, but that was just about the only liberty they took apart from monarchy, they got paid around as much as a politician and had to pay their own tax into the treasury reserved for the modernisation (for those of you at home, this means top-up fees for all services) of the kingdom. The princess, eager to escape her duties as princess, had got a job at what she did best- therefore became Peach Toadstool, hostage for hire. Her best friend, Lady Daisy Samora, had exactly the same job. It was a mostly love/hate relationship, as they were the most valuable hostages available in the world, just about. In a neat twist of fate, Luigi was dating Daisy.
Many had tried to abduct both, princess and lady, on several occasions. But they had fallen victim to Toad, the human/mushroom hybrid bodygiard of the Princess, and Elvin Gadd, expert in the supernatural, inventor and Daisy's bodyguard.
One spring day, Daisy and Peach were engaging in a *freindly* tea party in Peach's castle.
"Really? They get them THAT cheap up there?" asked Peach, interested.
"Yep, fungi & spancer can't do anywhere near as good," replied Daisy, shooting a mildly venomous glare.
"Really? Well, price can't apply for quality," said Peach with an equally, if not more, venomous glare. There was a slight edge to her voice.
“Hmm.†said Daisy in reply, sipping her tea and not taking her eyes off her rival (*strictly* in business, of course). Her eyes widened, not in surprise, but you could
see the iris and pupil all.
"Hmmmmmmm..." said Peach, eyes narrowing.
"Mmmm,hmm." replied Daisy. Her lips seemed to be shrinking into one place.
"Mm." said Peach hastily, her mouth opening, revealing tightly gritted teeth.
This went on for a few minutes.
On one side of the room, Toad walked into the hallway, carrying a silver tray. From the neck down, he was like a seven year old child. An abnormally muscular seven year old child. He wore a loose blue shirt, undone with no other top clothing, and baggy arabic trousers below. His head was inhuman- instead of hair was a large rounded red-spotted mushroom cap, and the face had large bulging brown orbs in place of eyes and a tiny nose. But he still sported a 'cute' look.
"Your crumpets, miss," he said in a polite manner, before walking hastily out.
He knew what happened when *she* visited. He could even see the rippling heated air above his employer's head.
On the other side, a small machine floated into the room, a silver tray in one mechanised arm.
"Skkrrrrt. Your teacakes, my leige," it said in a raspy voice.
"Thanks you, Gadd," said Daisy, but she was completely incomprehensible due to the fact that her mouth was frozen into little more than a blue mole.
Strange, he could've sworn the sensors showed electromagnetic disturbances between the two.
A minute past. Neither had touched the crumpets. Both looked like Anne Robinson eating a bowl of lemons (if you value nice dreams, don't imagine that).
This was interrupted by a beeping sound.
Deedelo dee deedelo dee deedelo dee dee
"Hello?" said Daisy, her voice becoming soft but her face still as repulsive. "Ah, Mr. Tatanga, you called yesterday..."
How's that? I haven't got onto a lot of good parts, but how is it? Plleeeease, this took me ages.
Mario has Wario.
Luigi has Waluigi.
Toad has ME.
