Get ready, I'm posting my whole lot of game secrets(I have them all saved a in file)! Some of these aren't exactly.............appropriate, but I just copy/pasted the whole file into here, so only read on if you aren't easily offended.
SMRPG: Get Wart in your party
Start a new game. Raise to level 30 before beating Mack. Then get 100 or more coins on Midas River on your first try. Go on beating levels until you get to Grate Guy's Casino. Then play "Look the Other Way" 100 times in row, but WITHOUT losing. Grate Guy should open a secret door leading to a prison cell. Wart should be in there for gambling on more than he had. But to get him out you have to pay Grate Guy the 500 Frog Coins that Wart bet and lost but didn't have.
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SMAS: Get "The Chainsaw"
First, play SMB. Beat the game without warping or getting hit, HOWEVER, during this you must kill EVERY Goomba that ever appears, and NO other enemy may be killed except Bowser or the trick will not work. Then, in 8-4, kill Bowser with fireballs, only if you did the rest right, it should take around 264 of them. Instead of toppling into the lava, he will say, "Is that all you've got?". Then Peach will sneak up behind him and slice off Bowser's head with "The Chainsaw". After Peach wonders why she didn't do that in the first place, the game will end, and you should Save & Quit.
Next, play SMB2. Beat the game without dying or warping with each character in this order: Toad, Luigi, Princess, Mario. For each person there is an enemy that can't even be touched during the game.
Toad: Beezor
Luigi: Snifit
Princess: Bob-omb
Mario has no enemy, but he has a permanent Phantos while playing as him. After you beat the game with Mario, instead of seeing all four characters standing on the platform, you'll see Mario on it with "The Chainsaw" standing on top of the other three's bloody heads.
Next, while the game is on, get the ROM cartridge out of your YI game and solder it onto your SMAS cartridge, adding YI to the game list. Play it and get 100s on every level. But now there's a 4 hour time limit on top of the screen, and if you don't get it by then, your SMAS cartridge will explode inside your SNES! Once you beat the game and see the ending, wait a while. Eventually you will see the stork get bagged by a hunter and drop the babies. Then Baby Mario will yell some cuss words, pull out "The Chainsaw", and cut off the hunter's legs for destroying their ride. Then you watch them get home on a tour bus instead.
Next, play The Lost Levels and beat it(including the letter worlds) without dying. The only thing is that you have exactly 100 SMB seconds to clear each level. At the end, after saving the Princess, the Subcon fairies all come in with pitchforks and knives, ready to swarm Mario, but while they fly at him he holds out "The Chainsaw" with the edge pointed at them, and they all fly into it and get torn to bloody pieces of meat.
Finally, play SMB3. You have to clear EVERY level in the game without dying, including the extra levels not actually IN the real game(which may require a little cartridge fixing). At the end, there is no Bowser, just the open door. Instead of the Princess, however, there is only "The Chainsaw" waiting for you on the other side of the room. But Before Mario can walk over and grab it, a weird little green thing called Chupperson Weird jumps in and grabs it. In this boss fight, simply avoid him for 341 consecutive hours while he jumps around swinging "The Chainsaw" around while saying things like "Suck my balls!" and "C'm here, asswipe!" in real voice sampling that sounds like Mr. Hanky from South Park. After the time is up, Mario will pull out an AK-47 and go "BOOMSHAKALAKA!"*CHCHCHCHCHCHCHCH*. After CW is full of holes, Mario grabs "The Chainsaw". Now you can use it anytime in any of the games by pressing R, and the AK-47 by pressing L.
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SMB:Affairs with Peach
Start a 2-player game. First beat it Luigi and win with 2000000 or more points. Then beat it with Mario without warping and beating every Bowser with fireballs. Mario should catch Luigi in the sack with Peach at the end. Upon seeing Mario, Luigi will piss the bed and upon seeing the fury in his eyes, take a dump in it too. Mario will use his Fire Flower to set Luigi's pubic hair on fire. Luigi will run out to the bridge, but because he's in so much pain, he will trip the axe and get burned to a crisp in the lava. Then Mario will get in the bed with Peach, but he accidentally sits on Luigi's turd and grinds it into the bed, so they have to do it standing up.
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SMB2: Fight Bowser and Dark Mario
(Note: only works on NES version)
Get to Wart by using only the warp to World 5 in World 3-1 and not dying. Then beat Wart using only fat vegetables. Instead of the normal game-ending door opening, a wall behind where Wart was should open leading to World 8.
World 8-1 is a very hard castle level where odd things like floating enemies appear. World 8-2 is a classic fight with Bowser. Hit him with ten mushroom blocks while avoiding his instant-killing fire attacks and a weird blue doorway will appear, leading to World 9.
World 9-1 is an exact copy of 7-2, except that the entire level looks as though it's in Sub-Space(blue background and black scenery), it has no enemies, and it has the Twilight Zone theme song as the background music. You can only pick Mario for this level. When you get to the flying Hawkmouth room, it's mouth will already be open. Wart's room is empty, and the normal ending door will be flashing. Go in to be warped to a screen wide arena with spikes on the sides. A circular white light will move slowly towards Mario until it is directly on top of him, then the screen will flash. Then the light will move to the other side of the screen and flash again. A blue and black version of Mario will be where the light was, and the battle will begin. Dark Mario has three hearts and can jump twice as high as you can, so it's hard to pick him up. If you can pick him up, throw him into the spikes. Careful, because he can and will do the same to you, and the computer is really tough.
If you somehow manage to beat him, you will get a special ending where....whoops, you'll have to beat him and find out for yourself, heh heh. Then you will go back to the character selection screen before World 1-1, only this time you can pick Dark Mario by highlighting Mario and pressing up or down. He can jump much higher than Luigi and also starts with three hearts instead of two. Have fun!
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SMK: Play as Wario
Beat every cup on 150cc in a row, getting 1st on every track in every cup. You should get a "A new foe appears" message similar to that in SSB. Then you have to fight a computer controlled Wario in the castle-like Battle Course 5. Be careful, because every ? box Wario gets is a red shell, and you are only given one balloon, while Wario gets five. Beat him 10 times in a row to unlock him as a character replacing Koopa Troopa, as well as getting Battle Course 5.
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SMB3: Megaman Suit
Get a fire flower and go to World 5-1. Shoot around 40 fireballs at the first Chomp you see and he should turn red and eat through the ground like in YI. Go through the hole and go down the hidden pipe discovered and you will be warped to World 10 - a totally underground level. It's exactly the same as World 7, except the water is now dirt, the airship is now an underground tower, and if you ever die, you are warped to World 6. Beat this world and get to the tower. There you will fight all 7 Koopa Kids floor by floor, then Bowser on the 8th floor. At the 9th floor a teleporter will teleport you to an underground base, where you will fight Megaman(a fire flower or hammer suit is the only way to beat him). Hit him with 16 fireballs or hammers to deplete his life gauge and destroy him. After that, you will be returned to World 6, but having 28 Megaman suits in your inventory. This suit comes with matching mega buster to destroy every enemy(including Boom Boom and Koopa Kids)in one shot, not to metion your new life gauge that lasts for 16 hits.
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MP4: Play as Conker
First, mod your Gamecube to play NES, SNES, and N64 games. Then play SMB3 and move left, right, left, right on the map screen. You will hear him do a big, smelly fart. Now switch and play Conker's Bad Fur Day. Beat the game in under 3 hours, then do it again in EXACTLY 4 hours. You will open a game called "Banjo's Bloody Head Gallery". Now, shoot off exactly 4 heads and miss the rest of your shots. Then turn off the game and take it out. Put it in your microwave along with all of your silverware, and wait until the microwave explodes. Glue your BFD cartridge back together and put it in your real N64. Turn it on, but then the game will fly out of your N64 and open its secret jet and machine gun compartments. Catch it without getting shot and then take out the ROM chip. Then take the ROM chip out of your SMW cartridge and fuse it into the BFD cartridge. Put it in the Gamecube and turn it on, then let the intro play about 237 times. Then a special screen of Conker with Uzis saying "Lock and load!" will appear, then the game will shut off. Then all your controllers will pop out of your Gamecube and four auto-aim laser turrets will come out of the controller ports. Get some reflective metal shield before the turrets start firing(like a garbage can lid) and make your way to the back of the Gamecube and cut the cord(the plug will have stuck in the wall) without getting hit. Then take out the game and splice the cord back together. Finally, covert your MP4 CD into a ROM chip and fuse it into your BFD cartridge. At the main screen hit B,A,R,R,A,X, then rotate the control stick 100 times in 1 second. Watch out, if you mess up here, your BFD cartridge will explode and you will have to do all this over again with another copy of BFD! If you enter the code correctly, enter the card selection, then pick the Extra Room. At the Extra Room, yell every swear word you know at the screen, and the Whomp will squish you flat and you will wake up in a dungeon. You find that your cellmate is Conker, and then you'll get to control him. Wander around the cell for exactly 65.23453 hours, and you'll find a chainsaw. Cut through the bars with it, and then it will prompt you for the BFD cartridge. Fuse that into your SMW cartridge that put it into the SNES cartridge slot. Then a 10 minute Total War match will start between Conker and all 8 of the Mario Party characters on Einstein difficulty. You have to win this by at least 50 points(or else BOTH cartridges will explode), and if you win, Conker will be available in the selection menu. He can't use items, but he has the "Sleeping Kitten" samurai move. When he passes somebody, he chops off their head with the katana and takes all their stuff, then that character gets replaced by another one. Have fun!
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SMW: The Impatient Wiggler
Stomp on any Wiggler this many times after it's red to get these reactions
100 - Wiggler starts to show steam
1000 - Wiggler starts shouting cuss words
10000 - Wiggler starts foaming at the mouth
100000 - Wiggler will whack Mario in the air after that jump and he will land and snap his neck, then Wiggler will go over and feed on Mario in a bloody festival of screaming and cussing.
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SMB3: Tanooki Dump Attack
(Note: only works on Japanese Famicom version 3.04, of which there are about 3 left in existance)
First get to Bowser's Castle without touching any enemies. Then while beneath a statue, crouch for aproximately 1345 hours, 34 minutes, and 21 seconds(the time counter should go negative), then stand up. You will be teleported back to World 1. Now, get to a Toad House in World 7 without using any pipes. Then touch the chests in this order: L,M,L,R,M,L,M,R,M,L,R. Then jump up and touch Toad, and he will say "Ready for lift off!". Then the Toad House will fly up into the sky, but it gets interrupted by a bug-shaped thing called Fred the Spanyard crashing through the window. Then he immediately goes to rip Toad apart, and when he's done feasting, he will go to attack you(You'd better have a Hammer suit on by now!). You must hit him with exactly 1423 hammers, while avoiding his deadly Piss Attack. Then he will collapse and die, but after that you get a warning that the Toad House is going into space. The outside background will turn into space, then Mario will choke and die due to lack of air. You will be warped back to World 1. Get a Tanooki Suit without touching any enemies, and now when you press B+Down, instead of becoming a statue, Mario will take a dump on the ground, and if anyone steps in it, they will start cussing.
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SM64: Beer Cap
First, get 120 Stars and 100 lives from Yoshi. Then, repeatedly drown Mario in the castle moat until all of them are gone. Then, on the Game Over screen, Mario will say "Stop-a torturing me! I'm-a getting out of-a here!". Your SM64 cartridge will sprout jets and fly away. Catch it before it gets out of your house and flies to NOA to tell them of your cruelty, resulting in a 5-year prison term. Then put it back in and restart it. At the face screen, Mario will say "That's-a it! I'm-a gonna kill a-myself!". A tiny chainsaw will come out of the N64 expansion pak slot and saw your SM64 cartridge in half! Tape it back together and restart it. Now Mario will say "Oh-a, forget about it. I-a found another way to solve-a my problems!" Now enter the game and find a Wing Cap box. Instead of a Wing Cap, it will have the Beer Cap. It looks like one of those soda drink hats, but with beer kegs on each side instead of soda cans. Hit L to drink from it. He will get all drunk, start wobbling around, and say nonsensical things and cuss a lot. Then hit L again to make him unzip his pants and start pissing everywhere like in Conker's Bad Fur Day!
Edited by - CashCrazed on 7/4/2003 9:51:56 AM
