Bored-MKXVII GP Legend

[Vidgmchtr]

Navi: Whoo! That was fun.

Vid: I enjoyed the part when we almost got eaten.

Navi: Heh.

Vid takes out his sword and cuts through the paper wall.

Japanese lady: HEY! You could have just slid it over, it was a door.

Vid: I can't understand you, sorry.

Navi: She seems annoyed.

WILL VID EVER LEARN JAPANESE?
WILL NAVI EVER TELL VID SHE KNOWS JAPANESE?
WILL THE ELECTRICITY COME BACK TO THE HOUSE?
MAYBE!

[Suffix]

Jacob:              I
sure wish we could go back to a simpler time… A time when you don’t need forty
thousand pigs to write a VHS tape!


Random Guy:. Gasp! I know what this is leading to! But, I
like it just the same.


Jacob:             
Yup, there's always time for nothing.


Clock:             
Or is there? BY my estimates, you have 2.856616531 minutes to wrap up
this little escapade.


Jacob:             
In that case, I shall become ruler of the world! You there! You shall be
the test subject!


Random Guy: Huh?!


Jacob:             
Come sit down in this comfy chair, I insist!


Random Guy:  It’s
made of some sort of metal. Doesn’t look comfortable to me.


Jacob:              
Quiet! Sit! *shoves random guy into chair* Bwahahahaha!


Random Guy: “Bwa?” This can’t be good. Why is this chair so
tingly?


Jacob:              
Because… It is my phantasmagorical, Transmogledupooplis Machine! Prepare
to be transmogledupooplised!


Random Guy:  What?! Let
me out of here!


Jacob:              
It’s too late for that! Hahaha!


Clock:  ******"mso-spacerun: yes">             Uh oh. It’s too late for you,
too.

WHAT WILL BECOME OF POOR RANDOM GUY?

WILL HE ESCAPE?

DO YOU THINK THE NAME JACOB HAS A PURPOSE?


NO, YOU’RE WRONG?

Edited by - Suffix on 2/23/2005 3:00:10 PM

[Yoshisaurus Rex]

PERHAPS IT'S MY REAL NAME!  THE WORLD MAY NEVER KNOW! *licks a tootsie pop*

Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but not their own facts.  But I think we can all agree that Mario rules and that''s a fact!

Edited by - Yoshisaurus Rex on 2/23/2005 4:00:52 PM

[Suffix]

Err, sorry, there. I meant that the name "Jacob" was not inferring-- or insinuating anybody. That's why the ending guy asked if the name had any purpose, and then stated (in typical fashion) that no, it doesn't.

Edited by - Suffix on 2/23/2005 7:03:43 PM

[Tingrio]

I went downstaris to see who was that person was.

???:Don't be shy.

Tingrio:If you say so.

I went closer to where the voice was coming from, but I was suddleny stuffed in a bag the smelled like rotten swiss cheese.

???:You're coming with me mister.

Tingrio:You tricked me Grodus.

Grodus:That's right since I used a voice from your past to lure you into my trap.

Tingrio:So where are you taking me since you have no fortress?

Grodus:Some kind of banquet, but don't remind me of my former fortress.

I was then in a hovercar of some kind. The car went into space at a speed faster than the speed of sound. Grodus went to a place called Port Town and went into some kind of tower. I was forced to follow him. We went to some kind of dinning room that was five floors from the ground. There were many people, but I saw Wario when we sat down. I also saw Black Shadow with Zoda. They were starting the banquet.

Black Shadow: Before you can eat all this food, Wario must eat this garlic I gave to him.

Wario: It looks funky, but I'll eat it anyway.

Wario ate the garlic very quickly and Black Shadow was grinning badly at Wario for some reason. Wario then transformed into something I've never seen before.

Wario:Thanks to the garlic, I am Wario-Man now.

Black Shadow:That garlic should of beat Wario on the insides.

Wario-Man:You were trying to destroy me?

Black Shadow:Sadly yes.

Wario-Man:Then you're the one to be destroyed not me.

Wario-Man rushed at Black Shadow and punched him in the face that broke a window.
Black Shadow fell into the ocean and drowned. Wario-Man turned to Zoda. I found a place to hide from Grodus while this was happening.

What will happen to Zoda?
How will Tingrio escape?

Tune in next time.

Note: Some of this part and the next one will be part of a new Wario story that will be done by me alone. It should be here sometime when I have more time to write it.

[Suffix]

-=Commercial break=-

Suffix: Buh huh! Buh huh huh!
Pippin: What the...
Suffix: Hey! You! I know it's blindingly obvious, but don't tell them.
Merry:  What'd he say?
Pippin: ...
Merry:  Why is he so... round today?
Suffix: Must... get... star of crystal...
Merry:  ô//O
Suffix: That's not me. *uses spray thing*
Mysterious Man: Buh! Buh-HUH? OH NOES! FOILED AGAIN!

SPRAY STUFF! EVERYTHING YOU WANT IN AN AEROSOL!

[Tingrio]

Zoda opened a window a jumped to his own car along with Wario-Man. I found a hidden vent that took me to some kind of spaceport they use to escape this tower. I took one of the mini space ships and got out just in time. Grodus just found the room after I took off.

Grodus: You can run, but you can't hide Mario.

X-Naut Phd: That was not Mario sir.

Grodus:Eh?

X-Naut Phd: That was Tingrio sir, but you've must thought he was Mario.

Grodus: Prove it slacker.

X-Naut Phd: Ummmmm....didn't you notice the green cap with the letter T and his green clothing.

Grodus: I need more proof or you'll be fired and you can never come back.

X-Naut Phd: *Starts to shake* I can't let that happen.

Grodus: Then tell me about that Tingrio or else!

X-Naut Phd: They have the same blue overalls, mustache and voice, but Tingrio's voice is much more...you know.

Grodus: I understand all of it...

X-Naut Phd: Something wrong sir?

Grodus: I was tricked!

X-Naut Phd: That is not true sir.

Grodus started to attack everything in the tower even that x-naut Phd that was with him. Minutes later, I was back in Rougeport. I sold my house for a condo in downtown Shroom City. I wanted to take a walk in the city so I got out of the apartment. Someone led me into an alley near my condo.

???: Hey you!

Tingrio: Yes good sir or lady.

The person walked out of the alley. That person was a female snifit who was nice, smart and very strong.

???: My name is Saleena the Snifit what's yours?

Tingrio: My name is Tingrio my new friend Saleena.

Saleena: Nice to meet you Tingrio.

Tingrio: Same to you Saleena.

Saleena and I were going to see Shroom City up close and personal.

Who is Saleena Snifit?
Where is Sir Grodus now?
Whatever happened to that tower in Port Town?

Tune in next time.

[WarpRattler]

PREVIOUSLY, ON DNC95'S INDIVIDUAL BORED STORY...I forget.

o_0: *undergoes a transformation, and becomes...*

WARPRATTLER!!!¹

WarpRattler: Hello. *laserdeaths some robot things*
<nintendoexpert89> What happened to o_0 anyway?
dnc95: Well, I got sick of having an emoticon for a nick. Also, LD kept saying I had a stupid nick. *watches The Greatest American Hero season 1*
Some random guy: But I don't like-*is laserdeathed by WarpRattler*
WarpRattler: What was that you were saying? You don't like living? *evil laugh*
dnc95: Okay, you need to stop doing that. Back to #tmk. *teleports his alternate self to the channel*
<WarpRattler> NOOOOOOOO! (cue Chup)
<Chupperson> â„¢
dnc95: Order is restored. Let's go eat sushi or something!²

UNTIL NEXT TIME...*WarpRattler laserdeaths the announcer*
Announcer: *screams in pain*
WarpRattler: GYAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *destories³ the announcer*

¹The Warp Rattler is your ship in the first Gradius game.
²You'd have to watch Super Milk-Chan to understand this one...
³Destoryâ„¢ is a trademark of TEMâ„¢, used with permission.

("o0o") My metroid thinks you are stupid. People who
....v...v disagree with metroids often get sucked dry.
For those who want to know where o_0 from the chatroom went, he became WarpRattler. I felt that it was time for change.

[Insane Steve]

Meanwhile, in a bar in Tucson:

Dirk [New character!]: I'll give you 10 bucks if you can throw that peanut down her shirt.
Roshan: Youssheeee, I can dooossh dissssh... *throws peanut and hits girl in the face*
Dirk: See, I told you. You owe me 10 bucks.
Girl: What the---
Roshan: Hahaahaahaaaasssheee, I hit youssh in ... in ... down yoursh shhhirt... Or shhomethinggssz...
Girl: You... you... *slaps Roshan* [-16 HP]
Roshan: Owwwwwsh what disssshhh... Ok... dassshhitt.... *draws sword* To battleeessshh!

CUE RPG SCENE:

Girl: HP 250/250 MP 25/25
Roshan: HP 504/520 MP 2/2 (DRNK)

Girl: Ok, since you're rather inebriated, I attack first.

PSYCHO SLAP!
-38 HP

Roshan: Baaaaaah!ssg SHHHHOWRDDDSH ATTACKKSHZ!

*MISS*

Girl: See, you're so drunk, you can't hit me. Your ACC stat drops.

Roy: (She's right, you know.)
Roshan: How di yousssh get in hereesgghh... Yoush underayshe...
Roy: (You're drunk. This doesn't have to make sense.)

Girl: HP 250/250 MP 25/25
Roshan: HP 476/520 MP 2/2 (DRNK)

Girl: Ok... Let's see... I'll throw some magic at you. HAHAHA.

HYPER FLAME! [-5 MP]
-184 HP!
Roshan is now bruned!

Girl: Brun?
Steve: Yep. You used HYPER flame. That bruns people. SUPER flame burns people.
Girl: ... You freak me out.
Steve: Remember, you only exist because of me. I can destory (And destroy!) you whenever I want. Battle on!
Girl: ...

Roshan: ...

Roshan: Anywaaaasshhhhhh ... My majishhhgs!

SANITY'S REQUIEM [-2 MP]
Girl is now Confused!

Girl: I've been confused. Nothing new there.
Steve: Yes, except that you'll randomly attack yourself now.

Girl: HP 250/250 MP 20/25 (CNFS)
Roshan: HP 292/520 MP 0/2 (DRNK) (BRUN)

Roshan loses 21 HP to the brun!

Girl: Ok, you just suck. Judgement Blade!!

JUDG BLAD [-11 MP]
Girl is confused!
Girl hits herself!
[-246 HP]

Girl: Yow! What the--!?
Roshan: Ahhhhhassssgaha! Yoush a bloeddaying meesssshe nowsh! Atttttacksh!

*MISS*

Girl: Well, he's drunk. I have that going for me...

Girl: HP 4/250 (DANGER!) MP 9/25 (CNFS)
Roshan: HP 271/520 MP 0/2 (DRNK) (BRUN)

Girl: Ok. I'm not chancing this. I almost nuked myself last time.

DEFEND

Roshan: Haaaaaahahasssh!

Roshan Attacks!

[-3 HP]

Girl: What. I waited 4 turns for -that-?
Roshan: Thaaaaatssh wasssh my NORMALL ATTACKKSH!
Steve: That, and it quartered your remaining HP. So ha.

Girl: HP 1/250 (PERIL!) MP 9/25 (CNFS)
Roshan: HP 271/520 MP 0/2 (DRNK) (BRUN)

Girl: Ok. I'm almos sunk. Sad thing is, he's only hit me for 3 damage, and I'm down to one hit. Hmmmm...

HEAL
[+67 HP]

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This number was 68. I changed it, for obvious reasons.
Girl: Because you're siding with the sotten one?
Steve: Exactly! Now you've got it!
Girl: Ok, that's it. I'm sick of you.
Steve: You want to fight? ... Bad. Idea.

Battle!

Girl: HP 68/250 MP 9/25
Steve: HP 3847289/3847289 MP (7!)(3!)/(8!)

Girl: ... Crap. I can't even READ his MP counter.
Steve: Should have payed attention in math class... Anyways, I'll let you hit first, because I'm feeling philanthropic.

Girl: Fine. ...

SUPER BURN! [-3 MP]
[+1004 HP]

Girl: WHAT.
Steve: I'm the author. Your attack HEAL my HP. Anyways... Good. Night.

TERSE CONCLUSION! [-.01 MP]
[- 298147238974289 HP]

Girl: HP 0/250 MP 6/25 (KO)
Steve: HP 3848293/3847289 MP [(7!)(3!)]-.01/(8!)-.01

Steve emerges victorious!
Gained 1834 EXP!
Steve reaches level 2948!
+2874 Max HP!
+5! Max MP!
+238 INT!
+578 SPD!
+189 AGI!
Gained 29389 GOLD!

34783938 EXP required for level 2949

Steve: Cool, I got a level.

Roshan: Whatthaassssh! You ssshtttolesh my esh...expehshe... forget it.
Steve: What? You wanna go?
Roshan: ... *staggers out the door and trips over the curb, then passes out unconscious*

WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS?
FIND OUT EVENTUALLY ON...

BORED [insert number of your choice here]!

~I.S.~

Edited by - Insane Steve on 3/8/2005 8:48:33 PM

[Suffix]

Camera Man: Smile!

Garbage Man: I'll take that, thank you.

Camera Man: My camera!

Bowling Ball: M-my... My picture! *morphs into something*

Garbage Man: You cannot stop me, foolish bowling ball. Hahaha! You thickheaded dimwit! Hahaha! I have made a fantastic joke! Hahaha!

Crickets: *do the obvious*

Bowling Ball: I shall get my picture! Even if it mean revealing my true form! GARGANTUAN LAMBCHOP!

Garbage Man: I'll keep this camera! You'll see! For I am... FANTASTIC FLEA! *poof*

Lambchop: Eh? Where'd he go?

Flea: ...i...s...f...e...

Lambchop: I feel strange. Don't take my picture yet, please.

OH NO, HAVE WE STARTED A NEW CHAIN?
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?

[WarpRattler]

PREVIOUSLY, ON BORED...
We met o_0's new form, WarpRattler. But it seems that this new form has some dark secrets...

<WarpRattler> I have some dark secrets.
dnc95: You don't say.
<WarpRattler> Well, I just did...
dnc95: Well, would you like to tell us about those "dark secrets" you're hiding?
<WarpRattler> No.
dnc95: I'll get you back out of IRC...
<WarpRattler> Fine, then.
dnc95: Okay. *drags WarpRattler back into the story*
dnc95: Now, what is the first of these dark secrets?
Warp: Well, one of them is the fact that Aphex Twin rocks.
* WarpRattler is listening to Aphex Twin - Next Heap With
dnc95: ...That's not really a secret...
Warp: No, but it-Ooh, I like this song. You'll have to wait a few minutes.
dnc95: Fine, then. Since I'm you, I also like this song, so we'll both wa-
Warp: SHUSH!

Back in IRC...

* Vidgmchtr dies

*After Next Heap With is over*

dnc95: Okay, back to the questioning.
* WarpRattler is listening to Aphex Twin - Peek 824545201
dnc95: It seems that name has a lot of numbers.
Warp: Yeah, I wonder why...
dnc95: Well, let's talk about another of your secrets.
Warp: Well, I'm left-handed...
dnc95: Also not a secret, as you've said that many times...
Warp: I don't like chicken sometimes.
Some random villain: AHA! YOUR WEAKNESS!
Warp: No, that's not my weakness. Sorry. *laserdeaths Some random villain*
* WarpRattler is listening to Aphex Twin - ICCT Hedral (Edit)
dnc95: Ooh, I love this song. But let's continue.
Warp: Finally...
dnc95: Yes, what?
Warp: Finally...
dnc95: WHAT?!
Warp: ...
dnc95: ...
Warp: I CANNOT PROGRAM VERY WELL!
dnc95: OF COURSE YOU CAN'T! NEITHER CAN I!
* WarpRattler is listening to Chupperson Weird - Blow'd Up
Warp: Wait a second, CHUPPERSON WEIRD - BLOW'D UP?!?! OH CRAP! NOOOOO!â„¢ *is sucked back into IRC*
<WarpRattler> NOOOOO!(cue Chup)
<Chupperson> DeWittChaSef
<WarpRattler> That's not funny.
dnc95: Well, now you know some of WarpRattler's weaknesses. GOODBYE! *shoots laser nose beams at the reader*

* WarpRattler is now known as WarpRattler_the_announcer
<WarpRattler_the_announcer> WILL ANYTHING HAPPEN NEXT TIME? WILL THERE BE A NEXT TIME? FIND OUT NEXT TIME, ON BORED 17!
* WarpRattler_the_announcer is listening to Aphex Twin - Bucephalus Bouncing Ball
<WarpRattler_the_announcer> Oops, I forgot to change my nick.
* WarpRattler_the_announcer is now known as WarpRattler
<WarpRattler> Goodbye, now! GOODBYE I SAY!

("o0o") My metroid thinks you are stupid. People who
....v...v disagree with metroids often get sucked dry.
For those who want to know where o_0 from the chatroom went, he became WarpRattler. I felt that it was time for change.

[Markio]

Computer: whiiiiiirrrrrrrr.....
Chair: Squeak
Markio: Costume of a corksrew... teehee.

“You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view.” -Atticus Finch

[Suffix]

Dramatic Music: *dramatic...yeah.*

Narrator: I'm back! Did you miss me? You didn- Let's get back to the story.
----------- Deep within the bowels of Badland, there was a mysterious castle! And in the dark, gloomy depths... There was a...

Tour Guide: And this is Badland's very own Castle Basement! Notice the "anti-decor!"

Person 1: It's so stylish!

Person 2: Take a picture!

Tour Guide: Please, no flash pho-*p00f* NOOOOO!

People: *trap door opens* BAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

Lampshade: How many times do I have to tell you? Cheese does not mix with graphite.

Underling: Yes, master. How many tour guides have we lost?

Lampshade: 4 and 1/2.

WHAT? THAT'S THE END?
THAT WAS PLAIN... BOREDOM?

"What? A half-gallon already?"

Edited by - Suffix on 3/17/2005 7:38:50 PM

[Chupperson Weird]

Roshan: Thassss jusst grrreat.

CW: How did I end up on this trip?

----MEANWHILE----

TOG: Our plan is working perfectly!

Lampshade: Yes, master.

Vlagranian: Our plan? This was my plan alone! Muahahahaha!

U "F" O: Why is it that whenever we have a "plan," you never hear of it again?

Vlagranian: Good question. TENTH TOENAIL!

Gregor: Sir!

Vlagranian: Go do some research on that.

Gregor: Yes sah!

WILL GREGOR FIND OUT WHY ALL THEIR PLANS DISAPPEAR BEFORE THEY ARE FINISHED?
WILL WE EVER HEAR OF THIS PLAN AGAIN?
WAS THIS A STORY DEVELOPMENT?!?!!?!

FIND OUT IF YOU'RE LUCKY!

"Don’t look into car headlights and freeze, because you might get run over or shot."

[Suffix]

CW: You can't control me.

SFX: I didn't plan on attempting to.

CW: [insert dialogue here]

SFX: [insert more dialogue here]

-=DURING THIS TIME, IN AN UNDISCLOSED LOCATION=-

Lampshade: *marches along importantly*

Vlagranian: Quit pacing, underling. You don't have any legs.

Lampshade: But I've got these metal spokes supporting me. Can't I just wobble around a bit?

U "F" O: That's a good question...

Vlagranian: I'll put Gregor on it, when he's finished. In the meantime, let's play my favorite board game: POP-O-MATIC PERIL!

Lampshade: That looks like a ripoff of trou-

Everyone: Silence, n00bish thing!

U "F" O: Hey! Gregor, report!

Gregor: Sah! We haf brainstormed the particulah quesestion, and determined that you get too BORED to complete eht, sah!

Vlagranian: Hmm... Something about that seems familiar. I've got a particularly unpleasant project for you now!

U "F" O: Ooo! Unpleasant, yes!

Vlagranian: Find out if Lampshade here has the ability to move about by wobbling.

Gregor: Sah, he's movin' right now.

Vlagranian: Get to work, already!

Gregor: Yes, sah! *runs downstairs*

U "F" O: Seriously, he needs to be a bit less questioning.

Lampshade: Who's going to go first?

Vlagranian: Me, you imbecile. *slams the clear plastic dome of PERIL*

Dome: *breaks*

Vlagranian: Uh...Err... 9TH TOENAIL! COME!

WILL THE NINETH TOENAIL COME?
WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THEIR PLAN?
WHAT IS THE NINETH TOENAIL?
WILL THIS BLATANT ADVANCEMENT BE APPRECIATED?

"What? A half-gallon already?"