E-mail = Zelda Puzzle Complete
Text Message = Pokemon Get Item
Default Ring Tone = Reach Out to the Truth (Instrumental - Persona 4)
I've got some other ones setup for specific people, as well. Off the top of my head: Clash on the Big Bridge (FFV), Turn Over a New Leaf (Valkyrie Profile), Galaxy Man's Theme (MM9), Investigation ~ Overtaked [sic] (Phoenix Wright).
Though, to be fair, my phone is usually on vibrate since I seem to be at work 100% of the time these days.
Edit: Whoops, I didn't realize this was hypothetical. Mostly because I barely read two words of the opening post. These are my actual ring tones.