Mr. Melee - "Once you clean yourself up physically, clean yourself mentally. If I remember you correctly, you were a Christian. Get right with God again, man. Once you're right with The Creator, you'll feel much better. Pray to God for guidance and wisdom, because I'm sure he'll help. Your life is still salvageable, and if it all comes to the worst and if you guys do break up, then it was just not meant to be. I'd just let her go and find the true person you should be with. It's also not a good idea to be wanting a woman who is now on top of other guys, as you put it. That just means she's looking for satisfaction, not true love, in my opinion."
Let me make it clear that I'm no longer a christian. I abandoned that faith a long time ago and with good reason. If I am anything now, I consider myself to be a contemperary shaman. I believe in an after life, and I believe all things are relative, and for the most part I believe there is one central being that connects and intertwines all lifeforms and concioussness'. If you have any more questions about this feel free to ask because I basically just over simplified it for the sake of keeping it short.
For the mind altering substances part of shamanism which belive it or not plays a big role in shamanism, I feel a lot of my actions were good and made with good judgement. But since I've got into this slump I've been abusing the drugs that have no meaning, nothing productive comes from them, like alcohol. Theres something I havent finished and alcohol is my pause button.
I made it to the county fair this last weekend and searched all around but she was nowhere to be found. My next plan of action is to call her up and ask her if she wants to go to this festival that is held once every year during the summer in the county I live in, Blue Oyster Cult will be playing and its only 10 dollars to get in. If she denies me this time then im just gonna let it go and admit that i got used....