........that's actually a good idea.
Chapter 4 rewrite:
"Now get up, fatso! I haven't got all day!"
Wario heard these boisterous yet familar words come from afar. The blank world he had fallen asleep to was finally disappearing from the perimeter of his own insignificant mind. As his eyes opened, bits and pieces of "sleep" jumped out of where they once lay (his eyelashes, of course), and Wario let out a bellowing scream that echoed it's way into the corridors of the castle. He moved his large body across the floor and pounded the nearby wall with his large fist, as if in a trance; the blubber on his gut shook with every miniscule step he took to stand up. It was an effort Wario would fail at a few times before finally commanding the little legs at the bottom of his "absent" pelvis area to hike up the rest of him up off the ground.
"Ugh........." was all he could say. This "new" world was all a blur to him. Voices in the air whispered into his delicate, pointy ears. The voices touched his face and the only thing he could do was smile.
"Mama........" Wario reached out to grab what he thought was his mother's arm.
The voices were replaced promptly, as if they happened at light speed, by intense screaming.
"GAAAGGGHHHHH!!!!!" Words Wario had never heard before came both from Mario and the rock hard metal music that was blasting into his head.
"Man, do I love metal music....." Mario said with a smile. He didn't actually enjoy metal all that much, but it was great to get a laugh out of Wario, who was dashing around the tiny room like a dog with it's tail on fire. His feet crashed into the floor with a mighty force and ruined the floorboard.
"But if that guy....ever, touches me again claiming that I'm his momma without a mia at the end, I'll shove a few poison mushrooms down his throat to rid him of a few more of his infinite lives he bought with mastercard on ebay!" Mario tried to inform the wall and ever other appliance in the room that he was serious. Wario however, continued to reck havoc by slamming his face into the fridge down stairs; the stairway itself had been destroyed, more or less, by Wario's stomping. Foam (which had come from his crazed mouth, dripped along the bits and pieces that remain. He didn't even seem to notice the huge hole in the wall that had made itself known only to Luigi.......
Eventually Wario sat down on the cold tile floor, with steam coming right out of his ears. His crazed rampage had finally ended, only because he had run out of energy. He looked around the house, noticing the destruction that had been recently caused by his own fury.
"Oh! Waluigi must be doing some renovating!! How nice of him!"
He got up without problem this time and walked over to the huge hole in the wall. Apparently, he had forgotten that he had ever rampaged through his own house.
"I wish he'd let me help him though. He never lets me smash anything......"
Wario took a pair of TNT sticks out of his back pocket (Lord knows how they got there) and pulled a match out of his nose.
"Here's that old match he jammed into my head last Christmas when I ate that stick of cheese. He said I wasn't supposed to consume it, but it looked so good...........it was just sitting there, melting at the diner table......"
He stared at the match (which had been covered in boogers) and the TNT sticks.
"Now what was I supposed to do with these things again? I think it's important, but I'm havin' a hard time thinking.........."
He dropped both the match and the TNT stick into an aged bucket which lay on the floor; a strange, soot-like substance rested at the bottom of the rusted item. Wario sniffed the material and coughed.
"Achoo!" he sneezed. "Achoo!" He picked up some of the "soot" and spread it all over the floor.
"Look at me," he sang. "I'm the fairy princess!" He obviously didn't care that the material was ugly to look at; at this point in time, he had succeeded in spreading the material across the entire castle. Mario peered out of the room and snickered.
"Idiot......."
Wario took a few more TNT sticks out of his pocket; they were in endless supply and spread across the floor just as the soot.
"This is fun! I don't know why I'm doing this, but it sure beats......uh........"
Wario looked at the match and remembered the pain of having it jammed up his noes. His eyes watered at the thought.
"*sniff*.......wonder what I should do with this........"
He put it into his pants pocket and continued to throw the dynamite sticks over the soot. He ran up to his room (where Wario lay) and set a few of 'em down by the window.
"Hey man," he said with glee. "You should try this! It's awesome!"
Mario stared at Wario with a growl.
"How 'bout I sit here and do nothing while you leave for some much needed exercise. If you run from here to the BeanBean Kingdom and back in 5 minutes I'll give you a jawbreaker."
Wario rushed out the door, his stubby legs moving him faster than light.
"Dofus. Now I got the whole house to myself."
Mario looked outside a noticed Luigi sitting on the front porch with metal items spread across the lawn. A huge box had been emptied (the box itself has blown across the road).
"What in the world? What is he up to?"
Mario walked out of Wario's room, I-pod in hand, and noticed the pure destruction that had been caused.
"I hope he doesn't come back......" Mario sighed. "I hope he doesn't come back."
