The Evil Bread

[Glorb]

But then there was an immense rumbling, like that of a volcano erupting and of the finale of Led Zeppelin’s farewell concert combined, and then silence. This was followed by a flash of white light that caused everyone to feel intense pain in their kidneys, revealing a large hole in the bread. This as no ordinary bread – it was Time-travel bread! The Knights (plus Ghost Masher, who had magically turned into Revenant Masher, which was like that enemy from Doom II, ‘cause he was all ghost-y and could shoot fireballs and bring stuff back to life) leaped through and were instantly transported to 1974 Colorado! Then…nothing happened. Glorb sighed. “Why Colorado? In 1974? This is too boring.” But a new wind was about to blow…

[Ultima Shadow]

The wind blew past a circle of tumbleweed, and the Knights watched it go.

"...that was pointless," The Blue Toad muttered.

"Well, this whole situation is pointless!" Glorb shouted, "Hyrulian's got an injured arm, we don't know where we're going, Ultima is probably destroying that city, and The Chef and Mario are probably doomed by now. Why fight on, against all of the odds?"

"Because we are the Knights!" Hyrulian shouted fiercely, "and we never back away from a fight."

"Ni!" yelled a mysterious voice, and all of the Knights jumped- except for Ghost Masher, who was hovering.

"We are the Knights who say NI!" the voice- or voices- yelled, causing the Five to step backwards.

The voices were that of the infamous Knights Who Say Ni! *cue dramatic music*

"Ni!" the first one said, and Hyrulian fell backwards.

"You guys are from Monty Python!" Glorb yelled.

"NI!" the second roared, and Glorb was sent flying into the distance.

"...this is the single stupidest fight I have ever fought," TBT commented, getting out his axe with a sigh.

[Glorb]

A few hours later, Glorb finished trudging back to the site of the battle, which was now over. “Crap! How come I always miss the cool battles?” he shouted to himself. But just then, Hyrulian gasped. “Look!” he said, pointing in the distance, “A gas station!” The Knights Plus Ghost Masher Minus The Chef walked over to the station, where they were greeted by young, not-so-wise-looking frog with an Afro.
The Blue Toad gasped. “Luepoftior!” The frog nodded. “Yeah, I’m Luepoftior, but if you weren’t such fogies you’d be callin’ me ‘Poft.” Glorb tried really hard to raise one eyebrow and halfway-succeeded, prompting ‘Poft to give him a strange look. “Whassup wi’ you, man?” Glorb stopped. “Uh, nothing. Say, is this 1974?” ‘Poft snorted “’Course it is! And dis is my station! C’mon, I’ll give you jive turkeys a tour!” As ‘Poft began to lead them around the back Ghost Masher whispered to the others. “Hey, see the van?” The Knights looked over at a psychedelic van in the corner with the words “The Mystery Van” painted on the side. “Let’s steal it!” he said.
And so the Knights hopped in the van and drove all the way to North Dakota to find the source of the problem. On the way, Glorb pulled out a large, black, clunky device. “Hey, what’s this?” The other Knights looked at it quizzically, especially Hyrulian. “It looks like…a cell phone?” Glorb snickered. “Of course not, my cell phone’s right…here?” But he looked on in horror as he realized the clunky thing WAS his cell phone! A 70’s version! Ghost Masher pulled out his DS, only to find it replaced by a 70-pound Pong machine! And The Blue Toad pulled out his emerald axe to find it was replaced by a celluloid axe! The knights all screamed in unison as the van (which The Blue Toad was supposed to be driving) crashed into a nearby exploding barrel depot.

[The Chef]

Meanwhile, in the present time, in the middle of the chamber that The Chef and Mario were trapped in....


The Chef: This stinks.

Mario nodded in agreement.

TC: If we don't get out of here soon enough, we'll be suffocated!

Just then, Mario took a Fire Flower out of his back pocket and gave it to TC.

TC: Hmmm... That's it!

TC got out his SPATULA and used the Fire Flower on it.

TC: Now, watch this!

TC cooked the Evil Bread using his flame-empowered weapon. In a metter of minutes, the big ball of Evil Bread was reduced to a piece of toast.

TC: That was a close one.

Mario nodded.

TC: So how do we get out of here?

Mario shrugged.

To be continued....

[Ultima Shadow]

In the present, Hello Kitty, Ultima Shadow and the recently revived Pink Glorb were sitting on three thrones, having successfully taken over the city.

"Servant!" US roared, and some random person came towards the throne, quivering.

"Yes, Lord Shadow?" the person squeaked.

"I would like a hot chocolate, made with full cream milk. And don't forget the marshmallows. Chocolate marshmallows." US ordered.

The person nodded, running away.

"With no Knights or Mario around, we rule this city," Hello Kitty laughed, sipping an Earl Grey from an antique cup.

[fatsoyoshi]

So Goombario set out and tried to kill Hello Kitty, hoping he will then go on every adventure with Mario afterward, but... Rainbow attack! Goombario was stunned by the rainbow...

[The Chef]

Could you do us a favor and try to keep the story coherent next time you post? Thanks.

[Ultima Shadow]

OOC: a new character won't hurt. Besides, who else is going to stop HK, PG and I?

"So you tried to defeat me?" Hello Kitty laughed.

Despite being stunned, Goombario managed to let out two words- "You bet."

Hello Kitty laughed harder, kicking Goombario to the side of the room where he fainted.

"That was surprisingly easy," Hello Kitty remarked, sitting back on her throne.

"Indeed," Ultima Shadow agreed, drinking more hot chocolate while eating chocolate marshmallows.

"You won't get rid of me that easily!" Goombario yelled, leaping into the air while preparing to kick.

This time, Pink Glorb jumped, too, morphing into a giant hammer. Goombario started spinning, and the hammer hit, sending him into the window sill where he span in circles before flying back towards Pink Glorb. He hit hard, slamming Pink Glorb into Ultima Shadow. His hot chocolate spilt onto the floor.

"That's it," he growled, "no-one- and I mean NO-ONE- takes away my hot chocolate!"

US ran forward as Goombario leapt into the air, preparing for some weird stomp. However, Ultima delivered an uppercut to the young Goomba, launching him into the air. Hello Kitty ran forward, launching another rainbow attack. It struck Goombario, sending him to the ground in a shower of sparks.

"You're pretty good," US laughed, "you should join us."

Will Goombario join the Evil Trio? Can Mario and The Chef escape the room? Did the Knights survive crashing into the Exploding Barrels depot? And where exactly is Dezzer? Find out on the next installment of- The Evil Bread!

[Masher101]

Sometime In The Present...

*A Tour Bus Comes By, Droping Someone Off In The City*

Mystery Person: Er... Where'ed Every Body Go? And Why Is The City In Ruins? And Why Did I Come Back? And Who Am I? And Who Are They?! *MP Somehow Gets Into The Building With Gombario US, Hello Kitty, And Pink Glorb*

Hello Kitty: ...
US: ...
Pink Glorb: ...
Gombario: ...

Who Is This Strange New Charicter? Is He Not New? And Why Did He Ask So Many Dang Questions? FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON DRAG- I MEAN Mario: The Evil Bread!!!

[The Chef]

Better Yet, Why Does Masher Insist On Typing Like This, With Every Word In The Sentence Capitalized? It's Kind Of Annoying, In Case You Didn't Know.


Meanwhile, back in the room where Mario and The Chef are trapped....[/b]

The Chef: Any ideas on how to get outta here, Mario?

Mario thinks for a minute, then suddenly has a burst of enthusiasm.

The Chef: You have an idea?

Mario points up.

The Chef: Oh, the air vent.

Mario nods.

The Chef: So, how do we get up there?

Mario motions for The Chef to climb up on his shoulders.

The Chef: Alrighty, then.

Mario hoists The Chef up with great ease sue to his super strength. The Chef promptly opens the vent and climbs up, Mario jumps up after him, using his super jumping ability.

The Chef: (In a sarcastic tone) Now comes the fun part....

They proceed to crawl through the vent.

To be continued

[Masher101]

OOC: Oh sorry it's just a bit of a habit, I'll stop

Once again in the preasent in the room with the bad guys...

Hello kitty: And who the @#%$ are you?!

Masher: Er... I'm Masher

US: ... Masher...?

Masher: Don't tell me you're evil again... I was on vacation for... er... how long was I gone?

PGlorb: Er... With all the confuseing time travel stuff, I'm not sure anymore

Hello Kitty: Well whoever you are, you shall die!!!

Masher: Wha? What in the world is going on here?!

US: I thought you were dead!!

Masher: WHAT?! What in the world are you talking about?

PGlorb: Yeah... you were a knight, and you died...

Masher: ... I went on vacation...

DUN DUN DUUUuuuUuuuUuuUNNnnnnNnnn!!

OCC: Oh yeah! This is my 100th post! Celebrate! Horaaay!

[Ultima Shadow]

OOC: Welcome back, Masher! =D

"Ack, my plan was foiled!" yelled a random voice.

Masher looked up, seeing... a ghost version of himself? The ghost descended, hovering in front of the REAL Masher.

"Wait... so there's two Mashers?" US muttered, confused.

"Yes... and I kept these four under my control for the whole time!" Ghost Masher laughed.

Masher looked at the four villains. It was true- they had been hypnotised.

"So, you made them evil? That's it," Masher muttered.

There was only one thing to do. Concentrating hard, Masher tried to free GH's grip on their minds. They stood perfectly still, trying to regain control over the four very confused villains.

"Hyah!" GH cried, falling backwards.

He fainted, the strain too much. The hypnotism was no longer in effect- they were themselves again.

"You fool," Hello Kitty muttered, "Ghost Masher was holding us back. And, now, you die."

"Yeah," Pink Glorb agreed.

"No way!" Goombario and US yelled in unison, leaping in front of Masher.

"So you're challenging us?" Pink Glorb sneered.

"I guess so," Masher grinned, levitating Hello Kitty and Pink Glorb with psychic powers.

Ultima Shadow and Goombario attacked as one- Ultima launched a devastating punch into Hello Kitty's stomach, and Goombario stomped on Pink Glorb.

"You've made me angry," Hello Kitty snarled.

As Pink Glorb fell beside her, Hello Kitty let out an unearthly shriek, growing in size. Claws grew from her hands and fangs from her mouth. Basically, she became more evil-looking. With a simple kick, she sent Goombario away, over the horizon.

"Masher," US muttered, "let's show this cat what happens when she messes with the Knights."

"Agreed," Masher sneered, psychic energy charging around his fists.
-MEANWHILE-
The truck was stationary. Inside, The Blue Toad, Hyrulian and Glorb were very confused.

"I thought you were supposed to be driving?" Glorb muttered to The Blue Toad.

"Ghost Masher said he wanted to drive." TBT replied.

"You let a ghost drive a van?" Hyrulian muttered incredulously.

"He was pretty good," revealed TBT, "apart from that whole crashing thing."

"Where is he, anyway?" Hyrulian asked.

"Dunno," TBT replied, "he just vanished."

Suddenly, an explosion rocked the van, and the Knights all fell over. =P

"What on earth was that?" Hyrulian gasped.

"Barrels," Glorb muttered. "Exploding Barrels."

Suddenly, one entered the van, and the Knights yelled. However, this barrel was not brown, but pink! =O =O =O

"Don't worry," the barrel said (how can it say anything in the first place? IT'S A BARREL FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!) "I'm a peace-loving exploding barrel."

"Seems like a bit of an oxymoron to me," Glorb mumbled.

Another explosion rocked the van, and the Knights realised they were in an exploding barrel factory.

"We already knew that," Hyrulian sighed, referring to the excellent narration performed by yours truly.

"What is it with people and replying to the narration?" Glorb sighed.

I have no idea, Glorb. Anyway, like I was saying, another explosion rocked the van. It was going to collapse!

"We need to make it out of the exploding barrel factory!" TBT shouted.

Suddenly, a shape fell through the ceiling, and landed hard in the truck.

"Hey, aren't you Goombario?" Glorb gasped.

"Yeah," he muttered, "I was fighting Hello Kitty, but then got kicked a long distance away and fell here."

"But Hello Kitty is in the future," Hyrulian protested.

"Eh, another plot hole, I expect," Goombario muttered monotonously, as another barrel exploded.

"Well, we're just trying to get out of this factory at the moment," TBT told him.

"I'll come with you," Goombario muttered.

"Me too," spoke the peaceful exploding barrel, "I hate it in this factory. All of the other barrels are too busy exploding, and I'm the only one that likes being peaceful."

"Okay," Glorb agreed, "but what is your name?"

"I dunno," it sighed.

"Okay, we'll call you Bob," Glorb told him.

"Why?" TBT muttered.

"Why not?" Hyrulian countered.

"Interesting name," Goombario sighed.

"Now, let's get out of here," Glorb yelled, jumping through the door, followed by his friends.

Can Ultima Shadow and Masher defeat Giant Hello Kitty? Will The Chef and Mario find their way through the terrible terrors of the air vents? What happened to Ghost Masher? And can The Blue Toad, Hyrulian, Glorb, Bob the Exploding Barrel and Goombario escape the horrors of the Exploding Barrels factory? Find out on the next thrilling episode of The Evil Bread!

[Masher101]

Back To The Future... (Haha)

Masher: After this US, you're telling me what happened while I was at the bahamas

US: ... The er... bahamas don't exist in the Mushroom Kingdom...

Masher: Oh right... well, whatever we should pay attention to hel-

*Masher was then kicked into the horizen, probalby sending him to the past*

US: Oh crap... Well, here goes nothing!!!

*US and HK start fighting*

MEANWHILE... IN A VENT...

TChef: Erm... Mario? Where'd you go? ... oh great, now I'm lost in a ven- *Just then the floor beneath him opened up* AHHHH!!!!!!! *TChef lands in a giant Pop-Tart box, Mario is there as well*

Mario dances around, and... seems to want to tell TChef something...

TChef: I have no idea what you're saying...

Mario runs around in circles

TChef: Oh... kay... I'm just gona go over here and wait...

Mario knaws off a side of the box, revealing that they are in the past (Somehow) and of course that means everyone is back in the past... except US.

(Yay! the Knights are all back together! :D)

[Ultima Shadow]

"Foolish Knight," snarled Hello Kitty, launching a rainbow strike at Ultima Shadow, who leapt out of the way.

"Rainbow Blast!" the cat laughed, launching a gargantuan beam at Ultima Shadow.

US jumped down to the ground as the blast soared overhead. The kitten stood there, satisfied.

"Ha, I won," HK laughed.

"Yeah, right," roared US, jumping in front of her.

Hello Kitty looked down, surprised, as Ultima Shadow leapt into the air, straight in front of her face. Suddenly, she blew a large gust of wind, sending US into a skyscraper where he lay on a destroyed desk.

"Ready to die?" HK asked.

Ultima Shadow backed away as the kitty came forward. Suddenly, he bumped into something under the table. With a shock he realised it was a camera. He picked it up, standing and holding it steady.

"You're going to fight me with a camera?" HK sneered, lunging forward.

Pressing the button carefully, a flash emnated from the bulb on the camera, causing Hello Kitty to stumble backwards, eyes closed. The Knight jumped forward ruthlessly, delivering several powerful punches to Hello Kitty's face.

"Ack!" HK cried.

US laughed, jumping on top of her head. The giant cat flailed wildly, trying to get the armored warrior off her head. He jumped into the air, ready to launch a powerful downwards punch.

"Beat this," US smirked.

As the punch was about to connect, Hello Kitty moved, eyes following the falling fighter. With a single swipe of her claws, she slashed at US. Her claws penetrated his skin, breaking several ribs and puncturing one of his lungs. Blood fell out of the wound as he fell, barely alive. With a sickening crunch, he collided with the ground, breathing heavily and badly injured.

"Beat it," Hello Kitty replied.

The Knight lay injured on the ground, eyes clenched shut.

"Need any help?" a voice laughed.

He looked up weakly, almost passing out. Above him stood a woman in an orange dress with brown hair.

"Daisy," he muttered.

She quickly dropped a Max Mushroom, and US grabbed it, absorbing it. Immediately, it healed his wounds. He still felt weak, but ready to fight.

"Another one to beat up?" HK laughed, running over and about to stomp on both Daisy and US.

"No," Daisy said shortly, picking up a Fire Flower.

The Fire Flower worked instantly- Daisy's dress turned from orange to a pale blue, and she launched a large fireball at Hello Kitty's stomach, launching her backwards.

"Heh," US laughed, "I thought you being a princess would have an effect on your fighting skills."

"Helps against Bowser," Daisy replied as they both readied themselves, "and they still won't let me into Super Smash Brothers, would you believe it?"

Ultima Shadow laughed. Daisy and himself had known each other for years, and both had grown up in Sarasaland as friends.

"By the way," Daisy continued, watching as Hello Kitty prepared another attack, "sorry for stabbing you with that Light Sword."

"Heh, that's okay," Ultima Shadow snickered.

"Had enough chatting yet?" HK snarled.

"Yep," Daisy confirmed, charging up a fireball.

Suddenly, Hello Kitty lunged forward, slamming her fist into the ground. Daisy went flying, dress reverting to orange and hitting an overturned car. She lay there, out cold.

"You're next," Hello Kitty muttered to Ultima Shadow.

Suddenly, Ultima Shadow noticed something on the ground near Daisy. Smiling, he realised it was a Mega Mushroom. He darted towards the Mushroom, picking it up. The energy flowed through his veins, and he grew in size. Hello Kitty gaped as Ultima Shadow grew in height, until he was as tall as her and just as furious.

[Glorb]

And so, in a completely unrelated turn of events, the Five Knights Including Masher and Bob, Minus Ghost Masher and Ultima Shadow set out to find the source of the time rift Hello Kitty had created. "Okay," began Glorb, "according to this map, my calculations dictate that the Stargate should be five miles east of here." Hyrulian looked at him quizzically. "Stargate? Since when were we talking about Stargate? And besides, that's a map of Six Flags America."
Glorb scowled at nothing in particular. "But that gypsy siad this was a map of Mars!" The Blue Toad approached Hyrulian and whispered in his ear. "Psst, I think Glorb is going crazy. Let's put him in a crazy bucket." But Hyrulian had a hard time hearing because of the sudden burst of gunfire from behind them, followed by an insane laugh.

Who was laughing? Why is Glorb going insane? Who is shooting at the Knights? How are Stargates involved? Who is the gypsy Glorb was rambling about? What happened to that Nintendo Power issue I lost? Why am I asking YOU these questions? Find out the answers to one or two of these questions on the next episode of...THE...EVIL...BREEEEAAAAAAD!!!