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« on: October 20, 2002, 12:02:17 AM »
GrimSack:As you all of you who read the "Recent Happenings" topic know, the Nick is an endangered species. There are only five still known to be alive. The Asian Nick, Nikuku, is very old for a Nick. The Mexican Razorback Nick, Nicolas, has ^&*%cancer, and may not live very long. The great snowy Canadian Nick (Me) is currently being held in Toronto, and is healthy and safe. The rare Californian Jerk Nick was last spotted in the (edited out)film "Good Will". And, just recently, the elusive chicken loving Nick was delivered to a zoo in Kentucky. Anyways, these are the only Nicks we know are safe. There may be more Nicks in the jungles of Africa, and there were sightings of an unusual tree-Nick in Connecticut a month ago. Still, they are an endangered species, and poachers are attacking them daily to use the (edited out). They sell it on the black market for their own profit. True, we could just let the Nick's die off. All they do is run around scaring people, then going into forums and writing senseless crap. But the chest hairs from a mature Nick can be used to cure most types of cancer. We must capture the Nick's so their miraculous hairs can be removed painlessly and used for the benefit of Mankind. If you see a Nick in your hometown, you must keep it safe. Most Nick's tend to be between 5' 9" and 6', weighing about 117lbs. Their noses are usually encrusted with acne. A Nick will try to engage you in conversation about his website, but don't encourage him. If the Nick isn't wearing pants, please don't hesitate to shoot him in the bum with a tranquilizer dart. If he should be wearing clothes, use a stun gun. Subdue him in any other way you can, just be careful not to harm him. Nick's are very fragile, and if you wound them, they'd probably scream obscenities and try to break your head with a rock. Anyhow, once you've subdued it, place it in a box with some food and styrofoam. Oh, try to remember to poke airholes too. Send him to your local zoo, and attach a note demanding some money for capturing the stupid &%$$^$. If you would like to donate to the national "Save the Nick's fund" or the S.N.F., send you name, address, and credit card number to goturkey69@hotmail.com. TO send a Christmas greeting to a Nick, send any Christmas cards or porno to The Tokyo, Toronto, or Mexico City zoo. If the Nick's were capapble of strining two words together without mentioning their sensless ramblings, they'd thank you.
September 11, 2001. Our country was ATTACKED from the skies. Terrorists hijacked four commercial planes and crashed them. One took out the world trade center, destroying it and killing hundreds of people. One hit the Pentagon, another hit Pennsylvania, and a fourth one did something or other, I forget. But the problem is, we don't know who's behind it. It could be those filthy towel-headed sand monkey Palestinian's, or it could be some organized terrorist group. But whoever they are, this we can be sure of. They're insane.
Attacking America is like shoving your hand into a cagefull of rabid wombats: You don't know what exactly will happen, but you can be certain it'll be bad. I'm assuming it was somebody from a Middle Eastern nation, cause' right now they're the world's premiere physcos. They sit around in their tiny little country all day, ****ed off because America is WAY better. At one point or another we've had to bomb them because they hide bombs or oil or something. Then they figure they'll try and wipe our entire country by attacking one or two national structures (we have a million of em') And they'll get away with it cause' they have "The spiritual guidance of Allah". Yeah, having the spiritual guidance of Allah is all fine and good, but we have the spiritual guidance of the world's largest and most powerful military.
One things for sure, were going to turn that place into the world's largest glass factory.
(to the tune of "Here Comes santa Clause)
Here come the bombers,
Here come the bombers,
Down to Afghanistan,
We've got bombs
Filled with Napalm,
For our good friend bin Laden,
Bombs are dropping,
Lives are stopping,
All is baren and dead,
Hide in your cave fore' you're sent to your grave
Cause' the bombers are coming tonight!
- A disgusting Carol from the demented mind of GrimSack
You guys obviously know a lot about Mario. Or at least, yuo think you do. See, Mario might be a heroic little fat guy, but he isn't in a magical mushroom kingdom. He's high. Think about it.
To become a giant, Mario swallows a shroom'. He gets high, and thinks he's gigantic. He beleives he's running around crushing in the god**** little turd men's heads. He doesn't shoot fire, he eats some weed he pulled outta' the ground and thinks his hand is on fire. Then the flying thing. He isn't flying, he's just really, really doped out. He's not even in a magical world with talking dinosaurs and such, he's sitting in his living room getting ****ing stoned.
Oh,Bartender gimme a beer.And 3 @#%#$
_________________________________________
That is what my friend GrimSack is like.
He posted that earlier this year.Except for the beer part.He wrote that article on 9-11
and the song around christmas.I bet he would repost some of his stuff in this bar if he was still around... I'll be sure to give all of you more GrimSack posts!
I know he may be mean,but he was angry that day,who wasn't?If you know what forum he is rudly spamming please inform me.If you recongize this writing style inform me please!Please note I did my best to edit these while still keeping the main idea.
"This hand of mine is
burning red!It's loud roar tells me to grasp victory!
Erupting Burning Finger!"-Domon Kashu
"Humor,God's Greatest invention."-Dark Lord Janus
"I am the guardian of the
forest.I am the guardian of the swamp.I am half bear,half
frog."-BearFrog
Edited by - Tanas on 10/20/2002 12:24:38 AM
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