122
« on: January 19, 2011, 10:58:00 PM »
Okay, time to recount the manly movies I saw last decade.
Taken: Liam Neelson has a daughter with growing pains, who decides to vacation in France with her friend as a graduation celebration. Unfortunately, she didn't learn a thing as she invites some cheesy guy who ends up sending in scary men to kidnap them and turn them into waifus for those willing to pay the price. Instead of sitting at home crying and harassing the cops for more info, Neelson grabs a kit for his first international operation, flies to France and beats the living hell out of every frenchmen, minority, mob boss, and the two black guys in league with them. Neelson's arrival is greeted with ritual suicides and firearms as every bad guy falls to their knees for hiding his daughter from him. The movie ends with him letting his daughter vacation again because everyone in the world is now scared of crossing him.
Rambo: Sylvester Stallone plays a grizzled war veteran who pretty much gave up on living a normal life. He now spends his days in Thailand sleeping in a cot and doing oddjobs for the people who come to him. A fateful encounter with a church group leads to him getting involved with a guerrila warfare unit that terrorizes villages and commits some terrible atrocities on anyone and anything. With nothing to lose, Rambo is hired by the government to rescue to captured clergymen at any cost. Rambo spends much of the movie sneaking around war zones and bases, finding everything littered with corpses by the casualties of war and the unlucky soldiers willing to approach him. The film ends with a brutal 10 minute battle scene in which Rambo climbs atop an assault cannon and blasts every single enemy to pieces. He then goes home to visit his dad.
Balboa: Sly plays Rocky Balboa, a former boxer who now runs a restaurant in his hometown and reminisces about his days as a fledgling undercarder from the city. The current champion is some cocky guy with entitlement issues who soon gets butthurt when ESPN claims Balboa can beat him in a match. Champ decides the best way to prove his worth is to call out a retired boxer and Rocky decides having nothing to do is a good excuse to punch the old meatbag again and prove himself. Rocky trains himself up and people love him again. He and the champion have a nice long battle, with the champion ultimately winning and finally gaining credibility in the ring. Balboa returns home to visit his old flame's grave to tell her it'll all be alright.
Show Posts
