Author Topic: Zombie Prepairedness (Read 15647 times)

Glorb · « **on:** February 23, 2007, 01:32:28 PM »

How prepared are you for a zombie invasion? Think about it: Will you be able to survive a zombie apocalypse based on the materials at hand and/or the locations nearby? I'd say I'm not at all prepared; the only guns in the house are my Nerf weapons, and there are no chainsaws anywhere nearby. That's why I've taken it upon myself to help educate people on the dangers of getting killed to (un)death by zombies with this thread. What with all this global warming and rising costs of bacon fat, you can never be too careful.

The Chef · « **Reply #1 on:** February 23, 2007, 02:13:08 PM »

I wouldn't know. I've never experienced a zombie invasion before.

CoconutMikeNIke · « **Reply #2 on:** February 23, 2007, 02:37:23 PM »

While I have no projectile weapons, I do have narrow doorways, allowing a maximum of 2 zombies at a time, and a heavy iron pole downstairs. Not too heavy, but I figure I can pick it up and swing it, I always thought that if a zombie were hit in the head hard enough, they would stop. Also, living in the middle of a city, I'm sure that the safest place I could go is down the street onto the "ghetto" side of town. Nothing says togetherness between crack dealers and everyone else like a zombie invasion. I'm sure if we all pool our resources, we can beat and shoot any undead problem.

MaxVance · « **Reply #3 on:** February 23, 2007, 03:54:47 PM »

I'm not. Also, the typo in the title is funny. I am definitely not pre-paired with a zombie.

Glorb, where did you get the idea for this? I think it makes you very worthy of the WTD Award.

Ultima Shadow · « **Reply #4 on:** February 23, 2007, 04:28:42 PM »

I just saw the 'Zombie' in the thread title, and immediately thought Glorb created it... I look at the author, and sure enough...

I have a cricket bat in my bedroom, I could possibly use that. No guns, and I'm not sure about chainsaws... so, on a whole, I'm unprepared.

Glorb · « **Reply #5 on:** February 23, 2007, 04:44:15 PM »

Have I grown predictable? Has my previously unbeatable combo of typo/zombie shtick failed me?

By the way, cricket bats must be especially effective. Remember Shaun of the Dead?

PaperLuigi · « **Reply #6 on:** February 23, 2007, 05:20:30 PM »

Prepare for a zombie invasion? I'd be the invasion!

Chupperson Weird · « **Reply #7 on:** February 23, 2007, 06:08:02 PM »

This thread is almost as bad as the girls at work.

WarpRattler · « **Reply #8 on:** February 23, 2007, 06:25:50 PM »

Shaun of the Dead was awesome. Also, I don't have to prepare for the zombies, because I have no neighbors. However, the zmobies and zobmies are a regular nuisance.

PaperLuigi · « **Reply #9 on:** February 23, 2007, 06:58:21 PM »

Quote from: Chupperson Weird on February 23, 2007, 06:08:02 PM

This thread is almost as bad as the girls at work.

How?

Chupperson Weird · « **Reply #10 on:** February 23, 2007, 07:00:12 PM »

I guess they're ready for a zombie apocalypse too.

Area 64 · « **Reply #11 on:** February 23, 2007, 07:08:33 PM »

Three Reasons why I'm not scared of zombies.

-They can't run very fast, so you don't have to worry about being chased by a zombie angry mob.

-Even though they're hungry for human brains, they're not exactly werewolves; their teeth can't pierce human flesh any easier than our own can.

-They're corpses. All you basically have to do is just karate-chop the head and it falls off.

Mr. Wiggles · « **Reply #12 on:** February 23, 2007, 07:18:57 PM »

Zombies? I don't fear them. My trusty dog would rip them to shreds before they reached my front or back door.

If they do manage to get in, I've practiced Tae Kwon Do before so I'll just roundhouse kick their heads off.

BP · « **Reply #13 on:** February 23, 2007, 07:21:45 PM »

If they're the Final Fantasy-brand zombies which can be killed with garlic, I'm good to go. If not, I'd better practice my brain-eating skills so I can fit in better.

Markio · « **Reply #14 on:** February 23, 2007, 08:42:07 PM »

Zombies would smell bad, so I figure I could cancel them out by spraying them with Febreze. Yet I have none of that! Maybe I can offer them brochures of interesting crafts, to distract them while I escape.

I actually heard once that the only way to defeat zombies(or at least white trash zombies from planet earth) is to beat them in a dance contest.

WarpRattler · « **Reply #15 on:** February 23, 2007, 10:04:05 PM »

Cast Diaga on the zombies before the dance contest for best result.

SushieBoy · « **Reply #16 on:** February 23, 2007, 10:11:42 PM »

Uhhh, I don't think you have to be prepared for something that won't happen, and besides, I'm SushieBoy!

Chupperson Weird · « **Reply #17 on:** February 23, 2007, 10:17:32 PM »

You know, you can just use some fire or cure magic on them and they pretty much take way too much damage and they dissolve.

WarpRattler · « **Reply #18 on:** February 23, 2007, 10:21:33 PM »

You could always throw holy water on them, and save valuable MP, even though you're consuming hearts.

CrzyFlmngMnkyHead · « **Reply #19 on:** February 23, 2007, 10:22:16 PM »

I'm prepared.
- 2 Paintball grenades
- 6 Airsoft guns
- A toolbox full of heavy-duty equipment
- Torches
- A chest full of knives
- Bottle rockets

Plus, I know a lot of battle tactics, so I would know what I would be doing if this actually happens.

Vidgmchtr · « **Reply #20 on:** February 23, 2007, 10:53:26 PM »

They shouldn't allow children to own ANY firearms, airsoft or otherwise, in my opinion.

Then again, these ARE zombies we're talking about...

SolidShroom · « **Reply #21 on:** February 24, 2007, 12:21:38 AM »

Yeah, they're zombies. I guess we have to prepare ourselves for dragon attacks too.

Edit: Vid, I believe that children could be able to own airsoft weapons and firearms (airsoft guns aren't firearms, as they do not use explosions to operate), but they should have to take some sort of class, like the adults do.

PaperLuigi · « **Reply #22 on:** February 24, 2007, 12:49:42 AM »

Is this the argument topic? :P

A kid owning a firearm after taking a class is like having a bear take a class on not eating humans. Just because he takes the class doesn't mean it will work.

SolidShroom · « **Reply #23 on:** February 24, 2007, 12:56:37 AM »

Well, perhaps you could make it a long boring class that takes 2 months.

Vidgmchtr · « **Reply #24 on:** February 24, 2007, 01:39:43 AM »

Quote from: SolidShroom on February 24, 2007, 12:21:38 AM

Edit: Vid, I believe that children could be able to own airsoft weapons and firearms (airsoft guns aren't firearms, as they do not use explosions to operate), but they should have to take some sort of class, like the adults do.

I'm not saying they can't. I'm saying they shouldn't. :P

Airsoft - ehh...I really think than rather than actually owning the weapons, children could just rent them instead until a certain age, you know, for paintball fights and the like. Not for using on someone who is breaking in.

Robert · « **Reply #25 on:** February 24, 2007, 12:18:45 PM »

Back on topic, If zombies suddenly invaded, then we have these weapons in our apartment:
- A toy sword
- A backscratcher
- A vaccum cleaner
- Various pots, pans and kitchen utensils

If those don't work, we could just inprovise or throw various boxes, furniture & junk at them.

I've been thinking about starting a sword collection, so maybe that would help.

Glorb · « **Reply #26 on:** February 24, 2007, 03:15:51 PM »

Wow, no one here has door-locking technology. Either that, or you're all braver than me.

Now that I think of it, my house is kinda zombie-proof. Our house is in a neighborhood with about four other people living here, so I doubt we'll be swarmed with hoardes of zombies.

Lizard Dude · « **Reply #27 on:** February 24, 2007, 03:20:18 PM »

Thread reminds me of Kojima's madness.

CoconutMikeNIke · « **Reply #28 on:** February 24, 2007, 05:10:51 PM »

Well, door locking is good, until hundreds of decaying bodies are rammed against the door. It's known that zombies don't feel pain, so they would all be pushing, and the door would be gone really fast.

SolidShroom · « **Reply #29 on:** February 24, 2007, 06:11:23 PM »

Quote from: Lizard Dude on February 24, 2007, 03:20:18 PM

Thread reminds me of Kojima's madness.

AGH WHY IS HE DOING THIS INSTEAD OF MAKING MGS4 COME SOONER?!

BP · « **Reply #30 on:** February 24, 2007, 06:35:42 PM »

Do zombies know how to open doors? Hmmm... My house is defenseless against zombies, except for that it's out away from the big residence areas... so unless the cow stench in the air doesn't dilute the scent of human brains they won't think to come here. Or whatever they do to command their body parts to move.
What can I really do against the zombies? Well, in a world where zombies are real, I am a magical guy who can fry them. And Wii Remotes really slice things without direct contact, so I have a weapon too.
If it's zombes we're talking about, who want brans instead of brains, you could get a truck of Raisin Bran and leave it in a trail that leads the zombes directly to a big gaping hole in the ground where they'd never escape.

Glorb · « **Reply #31 on:** February 24, 2007, 07:00:36 PM »

I think you mean a bg gapng hole.

BP · « **Reply #32 on:** February 25, 2007, 12:17:02 AM »

Ah, of course. Thank you Glorb. Sometmes don't know what 'm talkng about.
I think I was in #tmk when this happened. Maybe not. Regardless, it makes me giggle uncontrollably.

Kuromatsu · « **Reply #33 on:** February 25, 2007, 06:54:21 PM »

Believe it or not, I have a friend who is obsessed with zombies. He even bought a book called "World War Z" and "The Zombie Survival Guide"

Chupperson Weird · « **Reply #34 on:** February 25, 2007, 07:47:20 PM »

Yeah. The girls at work own The Zombie Survival Guide.

WarpRattler · « **Reply #35 on:** February 26, 2007, 09:03:13 AM »

Lucky them. I'll have to rely on wits and dual-wielded pocket knives that my parents put in my desk drawer for some reason. If those fail, I have plenty of non-stabby melee weapons...

Glorb · « **Reply #36 on:** February 26, 2007, 11:01:05 AM »

I read The Zombie Survival Guide; it was both funny and informative. World War Z just felt too pretentious and self-indulgent.

My Dad has a bunch of sheets of metal in the shed, which could be used as an impromptu melee weapon as well as reinforcing our car, in case we get attacked by bikers (bikers always survive zombie apocalypses).

MaxVance · « **Reply #37 on:** February 26, 2007, 05:01:40 PM »

Zombies don't like bikes. Their scraps of clothing/skin get caught in the chains, causing it to pull off their legs.

Glorb · « **Reply #38 on:** February 27, 2007, 03:37:09 PM »

That's assuming they've retained the motor skills to sit on one.

Lizard Dude · « **Reply #39 on:** February 28, 2007, 01:09:53 AM »

Get prepairing folks, because World War Z is becoming a movie!

Kuromatsu · « **Reply #40 on:** February 28, 2007, 09:02:33 AM »

Wait till my friend hears =P He will go crazy.

Glorb · « **Reply #41 on:** March 01, 2007, 02:27:22 PM »

A zombie...movie? I'd better prepair! My prepairations have begun!

MaxVance · « **Reply #42 on:** March 01, 2007, 04:53:16 PM »

Maybe the movie theater will sell tickets cheaper when purchased in pairs. Just don't buy them from a zombie.

Glorb · « **Reply #43 on:** March 03, 2007, 09:51:04 AM »

You mean, if the ticket guy is a zombie?

Speaking of which, I recently read the book I Am Legend (well, "read" isn't the right word...I kind of skimmed over it), and that gave me an idea: what if vampires took over the world?

The Chef · « **Reply #44 on:** March 03, 2007, 10:23:48 AM »

Somehow that would seem better than Zombies, considering how it would probably end up with all of us being vampires. However, there is one problem with vampires ruling the world: Who would they bite?

WarpRattler · « **Reply #45 on:** March 03, 2007, 12:21:11 PM »

That's an easy one, TC. First they'd drink the blood of animals, and then they'd resort to space travel, as well as synthetic bloodsources.

Glorb · « **Reply #46 on:** March 03, 2007, 02:03:53 PM »

There's one problem with that: Vampires specifically need the blood of humans to survive, at least according to legend. That means that they'd probably resort to forcing humans to mate and treating them like livestock, which would be really bad. However, the humans would, naturally, stage a revolt, gladiator-style, and the slowly rebuild society.

Mr. Wiggles · « **Reply #47 on:** March 04, 2007, 03:05:41 PM »

There's another problem with vampires ruling the world: Wouldn't they need to get rid of lightsources, since they hate the sunlight and such?

Also, I wouldn't mind vampires ruling the world since they'd actually have some form of governement, as opposed to zombies who being mindless would probably just have some form of constant anarchy in the streets.

BP · « **Reply #48 on:** March 04, 2007, 05:08:40 PM »

That'd really suck; garlic would fall into the category of illegal drugs, dealt in the alleys...

WarpRattler · « **Reply #49 on:** March 05, 2007, 11:51:16 AM »

Leeches would be genocided.

Glorb · « **Reply #50 on:** March 06, 2007, 09:15:26 AM »

Worst of all: everyone would be a goth. Or, at least, look like one. On the other hand, I wouldn't mind being a vampire, because they're definately cooler than werewolves. Although mummies are awesome, especially kung-fu mummies.

Kuromatsu · « **Reply #51 on:** March 06, 2007, 02:52:19 PM »

Aren't Vampires really just diabetics?

The Chef · « **Reply #52 on:** March 06, 2007, 03:31:27 PM »

I always thought werewolves were cool, but that's mainly because I'm a dog person.

Mr. Wiggles · « **Reply #53 on:** March 06, 2007, 07:30:42 PM »

All this talk about werewolves, vampires and zombies really gets me in the mood to watch Big Bad Beetleborgs or play Darkstalkers. I wish they'd get around to releasing the Sega Saturn version through the Virtual Console. Also, I'd love it if all goth girls looked like this.

ShadowBrain · « **Reply #54 on:** March 06, 2007, 08:05:57 PM »

^ AMEN, MY MAN!

Incredibly, I've more or less been waiting for someone to ask about this. My favorie imaginary zombie weapon: The disconnected handle of a plastic broom.
...Oh, and a DANG RIFLE!!! Or two.

The Chef · « **Reply #55 on:** March 06, 2007, 08:36:57 PM »

Quote from: Mr. Wiggles on March 06, 2007, 07:30:42 PM

All this talk about werewolves, vampires and zombies really gets me in the mood to watch Big Bad Beetleborgs or play Darkstalkers. I wish they'd get around to releasing the Sega Saturn version through the Virtual Console. Also, I'd love it if all goth girls looked like this.

Fake breasts included? Those are fake, right?

Suffix · « **Reply #56 on:** March 06, 2007, 09:04:46 PM »

* Suffix foams at the mouth

This isn't my section to moderate, but I can tell you that THAT was unnecessary! Please, this is not your other forum.

Glorb · « **Reply #57 on:** March 07, 2007, 11:00:39 AM »

Quote from: Suffix on March 06, 2007, 09:04:46 PM

Please, this is not your other forum.

That's what SHE said!

But back on topic, Ghost Pirates are cooler than werewolves, period. Should there ever be a war between the Allied Ghost Pirate/Vampire Alliance and the Coalition of Mummies and Zombies, I'd join the AGPVA, but only because there's no such thing as Ghost Ninjas. Of course, if aliens and possibly Cthulhu were brought into this, I'd join the COMAZ, assuming the Ghost Ninjas joined too. But the AGPVA would have an unfair advantage because Cthulhu eats planets (or is that Galactus?), and would join with the aliens, naturally, but, y'know, whatever.

The Chef · « **Reply #58 on:** March 07, 2007, 12:54:10 PM »

Glorb, what in Blue Blazes are you talking about?

Kuromatsu · « **Reply #59 on:** March 07, 2007, 01:52:03 PM »

Quote from: The Chef on March 07, 2007, 12:54:10 PM

Glorb, what in Blue Blazes are you talking about?

Seriously...

MaxVance · « **Reply #60 on:** March 07, 2007, 05:01:14 PM »

Glorb pretty much has my vote for the '07 WTD Award.

Chupperson Weird · « **Reply #61 on:** March 07, 2007, 07:51:42 PM »

Yes, Galactus eats planets.

Mr. Wiggles · « **Reply #62 on:** March 07, 2007, 09:06:39 PM »

Quote from: The Chef on March 06, 2007, 08:36:57 PM

Fake breasts included? Those are fake, right?

Blasphemy. No one may speak such lies of the beautiful Ariel.

Quote from: Glorb on March 07, 2007, 11:00:39 AM

Textwall explosion of mythical creatures + internet meme.

You forgot to take into account the Chuck Norris factor. Where would he fall into all of this?

ShadowBrain · « **Reply #63 on:** March 08, 2007, 07:15:41 AM »

^ He'd take out every single zombie with a roundhouse kick, duh!

Dead Rising's premise is awesome. Just so long as there's a Hoffritz, I'm set.

Glorb · « **Reply #64 on:** March 08, 2007, 03:14:41 PM »

Dead Rising showed us that guns are useless when you can always hurl a microwave at a zombie. Of course, vampires are impervious to microwaves...

Kuromatsu · « **Reply #65 on:** March 08, 2007, 03:18:34 PM »

[sortofofftopic]Ever played Metal Slug 3?[/sortofofftopic]

Because on the 2nd level in that game you can actually become a zombie. IT slows you down a ton, but you are impervious to all enemy weapons (excepts more zombies) and you get this really cool (yet gory) specail attack. =P

Glorb · « **Reply #66 on:** March 11, 2007, 08:51:46 AM »

This reminds of a preview for a PS3 game called Corruption that was supposed to be released in '06. You would play as a "zombie king", or something dumb like that, and infect people, eventually amassing a giant hoarde of the undead to control. It sounded like a ripoff of Stubbs the Zombie, but more serious. The thing is, I never heard about it again.