Alright, so I've got back into my writing. It's only a short piece, but I don't think I could have added any more to it, even if I wanted to. I threw this piece together on the train ride to university, and I'm hoping to find some way to better my writing, so criticism and comments would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
I felt like a bandage, ripped from a raw wound and cast aside, devoid of use and meaning. My broken body lay below me. Part of me could still feel its aches and tremors. But it was too late for it now. I watched my own eyes close from the outside, felt my conscious self ebb into nothing. And yet, I was here. I was there and I was here.
Was this how it was meant to happen? It seemed so unceremonious, so unimportant. Like an afterthought. Passing in passing. My life had surely been more important than this. My ringed fingers, my scarred face. Even the limp that I wore, like a trinket of honour. I’d lived a great life. I’d left my mark upon the earth. It was as clear as the liver spots upon my hairless scalp.
A door opened. Light filtered into the room. Indistinct voices rang through the air. Screaming and shouting. I felt afraid. I didn’t want to go. I wanted to stay with the elderly gentleman at my feet. We still had so much to share…
Hands closed around my torso. Powerful and yet gentle. I didn’t want to leave, why would I want to? There was so much to leave behind. I felt myself being pulled forcibly from my safety. Painfully. Choking sobs wracked my frame. I was leaving. I stared down at the prone figure at my feet, properly, for the last time.
~~~
I felt like a bandage, removed at least from a healed wound. The weary body lay below me. Part of me could still feel her aches and tremors. But it was too late for that now. I felt my eyes open, felt my conscious self awaken. And yet, I was here. I was there and now I was here.
Was this how it was meant to happen? It seemed so unceremonious, so unimportant. Like an afterthought. Passing in passing? My life surely had to be more important than this. My ringing ears, my scared face. Even my body was limp, like the blanket upon her. I’d live a great life. I’d leave my mark upon the earth. It was as clear as the freckles upon my hairless scalp.
A door opened. Sound filtered into the room. Indistinct voices rang through the air. Screaming and shouting. I felt afraid. I didn’t want to go. I wanted to stay with the tired woman at my feet. We still had so much to share…
Hands closed around my torso. Powerful and yet gentle. I didn’t want to leave, why would I want to? There was so much to leave behind. I felt myself being pulled forcibly from my safety. Painfully. Choking sobs wracked my frame. I was leaving. I stared down at the prone figure at my feet, properly, for the first time.
“Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Smith. You’re the parents of a brand new baby boy.”
