Although it isn't Christmas yet, I just wrote this Christmas cartoon review, so here it is.
"Fah who for-aze!
Dah who dor-aze!
Welcome Christmas,
Come this way!
Fah who for-aze!
Dah who dor-aze!
Welcome Christmas,
Christmas Day.
Welcome, Welcome
Fah who rah-moose
Welcome, Welcome
Dah who dah-moose
Christmas day is in our grasp
So long as we have hands to clasp
Fah who for-aze!
Dah who dor-aze!
Welcome, welcome Christmas
Welcome, welcome Christmas
Day"
That's the Christmas song of the Whos down in Whoville. Unfortunately, the people of Dome City are in no mood for singing, as they're all being very rude to each other. Mario, Luigi, and Peach happen to notice this when they see Yoshi and Oogtar fighting over the last piece of barbequed mammoth rib. Mario gets rib sauce on him and he complains about Oogtar's squabbling habit. Then Luigi points out that all the cavepeople are putting each other down and insulting them. Peach says that if they can get Oogtar (who started this rudeness) to be nice, it'll work on everyone else too. Mario remembers that everyone gets nice to each other around Christmas, so maybe it'll work here too. Luigi says he's popped his plunger, because it's August 21st (when the game came out), and Jesus wasn't born until after the Stone Age. And he's got that semi-right, as Halloween wasn't for another week and a half by the time this episode aired. But Mario isn't worried, because this is the pre-Bedrock stone age, and the people have no idea Christmas comes on December 25th. So Mario tells everyone about the idea of "Cave Christmas", thus, saving the people of Bedrock from having to call it "The Cool Merry Season After Summer's Harvest Is Reaped".
Mario: "It's a day when everyone's nice to each other!"
Oogtar: "Ooga boring, man!"
Mario: "And kids get lots of treats!"
Yoshi: "Ooh! Neat treats!"
Oogtar: "Hmm, getting better..."
Mario: "And there's this nice guy named Santa Claus, who brings presents to all the kids who've been good!
Oogtar: "Only good kids?"
Mario: "That's right, Oogtar!"
Oogtar: "Dino bummer, dude!"
So every caveman in Dome City likes Christmas a lot. But Bowser, who lives near Dome City, does not! Bowser Koopa hates Christmas, the whole Christmas season. But please don't ask why, no one quite knows the reason. It could be that his head isn't screwed on just right. It could be that his feet give him a fixation so tight. But I think that the most likely reason of all may be that his heart is two sizes too small.
In case you're wondering about all these Grinch references, it's because this episode is more like Dr. Seuss's "How the Grinch Stole Christmas!" instead of Clement Moore's "The Night Before Christmas". I'm serious! Keep reading, and you'll see why this episode should be titled "How the Koopa King Stole Cave Christmas!"
Later that day, Bowser brings Roy to show him what you do at Christmastime, since "The Adventures of SMB3" didn't have a Christmas episode. When Peach mentions to Yoshi (who's eating the candy canes she's trying to put on a tree) that Santa Claus only delivers gifts to good little boys and girls, Roy complains: "This Santa Claus only gives presents to good children!? What kinda wimp is he?" That's when Bowser gets an idea. An awful idea. Bowser gets a wonderful, awful idea! Incidentally, I must note that they're hiding in a trash can, and then, for comedy, a dinosaur walks by and throws them into his cart.
The next day, which I assume is August 24th, Oogtar attempts to get to the good presents first, but Luigi catches him in the act. Peach notes that she can't wait to see all the happy cave-children tomorrow morning. Outside, Bowser, wearing his Santa costume from "Koopa Klaus", chuckles and clucks "What a great Koopa trick! With this coat and this hat, I look just like St. Nick!" All right, so he isn't wearing a Kris Kringle costume, but he's still gonna steal the toys.
That evening, Oogtar is still determined to get the best toys. At the same time he comes in, Bowser slithers and slinks with a smile most unpleasant, around the whole room, taking every present! Pop guns! And bicycles! Roller skates! Drums! Checkerboards! Tricycles! Popcorn! And plums! And he stuffs them, with Oogtar, in a big bag, and very nimbly, jumps a quite extraordinarily high height up the chimbley! But you can hear him exclaim, as he sticks out his tongue, "Merry Christmas, boys and girls, may you all wail high strung!"
In the other room, Mario has just put on his Santa Mario get-up. After a joke from Luigi about how lousy he looks, he looks in the other room and sees that the toys are gone. And Peach has two pieces of evidence that show Bowser's the one who made off with them: 1) he dropped one of his scales on the way out, and 2) none of the other Mario Villains ever appear in the cartoons. Mario is downright outraged that Bowser is ripping off the Grinch, and says he'll have to go to Bowser's Castle and get the toys back. Of course, he could tell the cave kids that Christmas dosen't have to come with ribbons, or with tags, or with packages, boxes, and bags, and that Christmas doesn't come from a store, but that it means a little bit more. But lessons like that are meant for 22-minute Christmas specials like "How the Grinch Stole Christmas!" and "A Charlie Brown Christmas", so Mario will just have to save Christmas even though he knows what the holiday is really about.
That night, as the cave kids are nestled all snug in their beds, and visions of sugarplums dance in their heads, Bowser is doing the Santa thing for his kids. He finds out that Oogtar stowed away in the bag, and then Oogtar opens a present that Bowser was planning to give to Roy. Oograr finds out it's a Bob-Omb, tosses it to Bowser, and accuses him of being a bad parent.
Bowser: (to the Bob-Omb) "Stop! You're not supposed to go off till Christmas--" (BOOM!) "--morning."
As you can guess, it gives the audience and Oogtar great laughs, but Bowser doesn't think it's so funny. He grabs the brat and suspends him by a burning rope over a hungry (orange) Rex.
Bowser: "Have a Merry Cave Christmas, Bone Brain! Remember, Oogtar spelled backwards is rat goo!"
Ah, so that's how he got his name.
Outside, Santa Mario and Yoshi the Winged Red-Nosed Dinosaur (who has a very shiny nose, and if you ever saw it, you would even say it glows), land their sleigh outside the Castle. They look through a window and see that Oogtar's about to be Rex food. Since they can't get through the Front and Back Doors, they rush over to a bigger window, and Yoshi tries to push Mario through, unsuccessfully. He eventually gets the job done when he sees a Boo Buddy behind him. They rush around the castle as "Rockin' with the Sleighbells" (an obvious parody of "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree") plays. They avoid some Mecha-Koopas, three Thwomps, a Dry Bones, and a team of Chargin' Chucks. Mario gets a Cape Feather, and they fly to the room where Oogtar is being held. Mario frees him (and somehow his Cape Power disappears afterwards), and demands that Oogtar (who thinks he is Santa) vow not to be bad again. That said and done, they get Yoshi some more wings, and fly back home.
Oogtar, still oblivious that he's with the series hero right now despite the reindeer being Yoshi, goes to bed, saying it's enough of a gift to be rescued. After he falls asleep, Mario leaves him a present, even though he doesn't deserve it. The next morning, Oogtar brings Mario a gift, as he was the only one "Santa" didn't leave a present for. Mario wakes up and sees that Oogtar has gotten a personality overhaul. Says he: "Wouldn't it be nice if every day were Christmas?" Well, if it meant no school, I could go with that.
Super Mario Bros. are cool like sunglasses!
