This is a story about....never mind....just read it yourself.
CHAPTER ONE– Desperate Dry Bones
The Koopa King was slumped over in his giant, golden throne, weeping. A tiny television monitor was sitting in front of his throne, and he watched it with anticipation and gloom. The TV blared, “Desperate Housewives will be right back.”
“Such complex relationships,” Bowser bubbled, “it makes me want to meet a gardener for my very own. WAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!”
The door that led into the throne room slammed open, and one of Bowser’s assistants, Dry Bones #8124, briskly walked into the room.
“DRY BONES #8124,” Bowser shouted as he quickly switched off the monitor, “how many times have I told you not to interrupt me during my special thinking time?”
“Sorry sir,” Dry Bones #8124 replied earnestly, as he held up a large poster displaying a few bar graphs and charts, “but, here I have some important information on Mario.”
“I know no Mario!” Bowser thundered.
“Actually, yes you do,” Dry said, “he’s your arch enemy. He’s the plumber who has defeated you every time you capture Princess Peach or play some sport against him. Remember?”
“I was joking, you dimwitted piece of scum,” Bowser sighed, “now what were you going to say?”
“Yes,” Dry Bones stuttered, “studies show that Mario is currently 0.002% less scared of you than he was a month ago.”
“Mario’s not scared of me at all, stupid,” Bowser pointed out.
“That’s just it,” Dry Bones admitted, “he’s negative 0.002% scared of you.”
“GO AWAY!”
“No. I’ve been sent to devise a battle plan to make you more powerful to Mario,” Dry Bones said, “and this time, it’s not going to be Princess Peach.”
“More like Princess Pee-Pee,” Bowser chuckled to himself, and then said, “what can we steal anyways?”
“I for one recommend we try to steal Mario’s Crystal Stars.”
“We already tried that, and it didn’t work,” Bowser whined.
“Well, sir, we tried capturing the Princess many, many times, but you never gave up.”
“I’d rather watch Desperate Housewives than steal some ruddy stars…”
“What was that, sir?”
“Nothing, I said…um…boy, don’t you just love football? Not effeminate at all,” Bowser yelled, “but, I guess I’ll catch those stars. Anything to make Mario more frightened of my presence. Warm up my kart, we’ll hit the road for Mario’s house. I’ll be down in just a minute.”
As Dry Bones #8124 headed out the double doors, Bowser quietly flipped back on the television.
“Aw, man,” Bowser exclaimed, “I missed Katherine telling Cory if she had an affair with the oriental gardener or not!”
COMING IN CHAPTER TWO
Will Bowser find the Crystal Stars at Mario’s house?
If so, will Mario gain a certain distrust of Bowser again?
Will Bowser’s estrogen-fueled obsession with Desperate Housewives be put to a stop?
FIND OUT!!!