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Author Topic: Mario's Family -- as explained by Japanese First Graders  (Read 12651 times)

David

  • Trusts the fungus
« on: February 21, 2008, 12:16:57 AM »
There's a cute little column over at 4 Color Rebellion about what happened when an English teacher asked his six year old students about Mario's family.  Strange relationships between Mario, Peach, Bowser, and Wario are presented.  It also seems Luigi is Mario's older brother, as "(h)e's taller".

I'm honestly not sure I find the kids' logic any worse than that expressed whenever the whole "Donkey Kong Lineage" thing comes up.

Go read more at http://www.4colorrebellion.com/archives/2008/02/18/the-genealogy-of-mario-as-explained-to-me-by-japanese-6-year-olds/.
« Last Edit: February 21, 2008, 12:20:11 AM by Deezer »
Let's do the Mario, all together now!

ShadowBrain

  • Ridiculously relevant
« Reply #1 on: February 21, 2008, 07:51:09 AM »
Oh, yeah, I heard about this... pretty sad. How do they market Nintendo characters over in Japan if these are the kinds of ideas they get?
"Mario is your oyster." ~The Chef

N64 Chick

  • one ticked chick
« Reply #2 on: February 21, 2008, 09:30:53 AM »
As much as I like Waluigi, I am shocked and appalled that they suggested him before Luigi. I mean, I can understand Wario, but...oy...
Fangirling over Luigi since 1999.

« Reply #3 on: February 21, 2008, 10:22:45 AM »
That's... interesting. Makes me wonder what they'll say for other characters like Yoshi or the Koopalings. Since the answers are so far away from the truth, I can only conclude that a) they're too young to understand what's really said about the relationships, b) they don't know what those words mean, c) they have active imaginations, or d) they're using physical characteristics and other traits to determine relationships (Bowser's big, so it kind of makes sense that he'd be a father).
You didn't say wot wot.

Kojinka

  • Bruised
« Reply #4 on: February 21, 2008, 11:59:28 AM »
I haven't laughed this much in a while!
Regards, Uncle Dolan

Kuromatsu

  • 黒松
« Reply #5 on: February 21, 2008, 12:04:01 PM »
I can't tell if their findings are really funny or really scary...

Chupperson Weird

  • Not interested.
« Reply #6 on: February 21, 2008, 02:06:08 PM »
penguinwizard has it down with his answer D. I mean, I bet it's not like they actually pay attention to the details or try to beat the games.
That was a joke.

Kojinka

  • Bruised
« Reply #7 on: February 21, 2008, 03:28:12 PM »
Bowser is Mario's father (or uncle)!? Lol!
Regards, Uncle Dolan

megamush

  • Infinite member error
« Reply #8 on: February 21, 2008, 06:29:35 PM »
who's mario's mother? and I think that their family has issues (who tries to kill there father that many times anyway?)
What ever you do don't press Ctrl-W

N64 Chick

  • one ticked chick
« Reply #9 on: February 21, 2008, 06:59:15 PM »
Who tries to kill there father that many times anyway?

I would. No, not really. But my father has done way too many stupid, annoying and downright horrible things that I'll never forgive him for.
Fangirling over Luigi since 1999.

ShadowBrain

  • Ridiculously relevant
« Reply #10 on: February 21, 2008, 07:25:39 PM »
who tries to kill there father that many times anyway?
Luke Skywalker?
"Mario is your oyster." ~The Chef

megamush

  • Infinite member error
« Reply #11 on: February 21, 2008, 07:44:04 PM »
Luke Skywalker?
well, you have a point there
What ever you do don't press Ctrl-W

« Reply #12 on: February 21, 2008, 08:58:06 PM »
Luke Skywalker?

Bowser: Toadsworth never told you what happened to your father.

Mario: He-a told me enough... he told-a me you killed him!

Bowser: No, Mario. I am your father

Mario: NOOOOOO!

Wario: And I-ma you brother!

Mario: DOUBLE NOOOOOO!

Peach: And I'm your sister!

Mario: So?

Peach: That means we can't date anymore.

Mario: SUPER NOOOOOO!

Yoshi: And I'm Aunt's daughter's roommate's brother's step-son from the future!

Mario: THIS IS GETTING REDUNDENT!

Waluigi: And I have absolutly no relationship with your family's genealogy whatsoever!

Mario: Okaaaaay...

Seriously, this piece is rather chuckle worthy. Though, I can't blame the kids for think Luigi is Mario's older brother. That's usually the first impression someone would get (the taller brother is the older one).
In Soviet Russia, Pokemon chooses you!

Kojinka

  • Bruised
« Reply #13 on: February 21, 2008, 10:12:23 PM »

I didn't make this
Regards, Uncle Dolan

Chupperson Weird

  • Not interested.
« Reply #14 on: February 21, 2008, 10:16:55 PM »
Are you sure?
That was a joke.

Kojinka

  • Bruised
« Reply #15 on: February 21, 2008, 11:06:30 PM »
Regards, Uncle Dolan

ShadowBrain

  • Ridiculously relevant
« Reply #16 on: February 22, 2008, 07:52:05 AM »
Kojinka's post nominated for MS Paint Family Tree of the Year.
"Mario is your oyster." ~The Chef

Linkin800

  • Choppy words and a sloppy flow
« Reply #17 on: February 22, 2008, 03:30:26 PM »
Lol! if Peach is Mario's sister does that mean Daisy is his sister to? And lol bowser being Mario's dad.
Time is repeating itself. Why you say? Look at the Wii and NES and you'll know why.

Kojinka

  • Bruised
« Reply #18 on: February 22, 2008, 03:32:28 PM »
I just found out that Toad is Mario and Peach's inbred child
Regards, Uncle Dolan

« Reply #19 on: March 09, 2008, 04:48:24 PM »
I hereby propose that henceforth the word of Japanese first graders take precedence over official word from Nintendo.
Today's actually... nobody's birthday!  Quick, hurry up and make a baby!

Kojinka

  • Bruised
« Reply #20 on: March 09, 2008, 05:05:42 PM »
I nominate this thread for Thread of the Year
Regards, Uncle Dolan

« Reply #21 on: March 12, 2008, 12:09:58 PM »
Can't wait to see the kids explain the Legend of Zelda timeline. Or how Diddy Kong is related to Donkey Kong. Considering the inconsistencies in some games (and Nintendo always giving some weak excuse to make it work - or just dodging the question altogether), any answer would be more probable than the excuses I hear. I remember someone sending a letter to Nintendo asking something about Bowser, I think who Morton was if one of Bowser's sons is Morton Jr. (either that or why Baby Bowser is suddenly Bowser's one kid), and Nintendo said something like "We tried to ask him, but we couldn't get close because he kept throwing bombs at us."
You didn't say wot wot.

Kojinka

  • Bruised
« Reply #22 on: March 12, 2008, 01:42:00 PM »
My attitude on the Zelda timeline is "Just shut up and enjoy the games"
I used to be kind of big on the timeline theories, but after finishing Twilight Princess, I thought, 'Screw it.  It's only going to get more confusing."
Regards, Uncle Dolan

Chupperson Weird

  • Not interested.
« Reply #23 on: March 12, 2008, 05:30:49 PM »
And amusingly, Aonuma actually has the whole multiple timeline divergence thing planned out these days.
That was a joke.

« Reply #24 on: March 12, 2008, 09:11:50 PM »
I think who Morton was if one of Bowser's sons is Morton Jr.
I still say Morton is the Koopalings' mother.

And amusingly, Aonuma actually has the whole multiple timeline divergence thing planned out these days.
Which is why they should never plan anything.  Just let fan**** sort it all out.
CURSE YOU... SOMEBODY!

« Reply #25 on: March 13, 2008, 05:12:14 PM »
I just found out that Toad is Mario and Peach's inbred child

?
I'm also a YTPer.

« Reply #26 on: March 16, 2008, 06:15:48 AM »
So Mario's father is his arch enemy and his sister is his love interest.  Star Wars much?  ; )
Mega 2
Cybernetic Abiogenesis Project

kirbyman

  • Tourette's
« Reply #27 on: March 17, 2008, 03:37:04 PM »
Nice.

Kojinka

  • Bruised
« Reply #28 on: April 19, 2008, 05:43:32 PM »
LOL
Regards, Uncle Dolan

« Reply #29 on: April 20, 2008, 02:21:51 AM »
And somewhere along the way, Mario explains how he is his own grandpa?
CURSE YOU... SOMEBODY!

Turtlekid1

  • Tortuga
« Reply #30 on: April 21, 2008, 06:00:48 AM »
LOL

That, my friend, is sick and wrong... and sick.
"It'll say life is sacred and so is death
but death is life and so we move on"

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