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Author Topic: You Laugh, You Lose  (Read 293612 times)

Turtlekid1

  • Tortuga
« Reply #930 on: August 08, 2009, 08:51:14 AM »
That duck's so sneaky, he disguised himself as a seagull.
A duck dressing up like a seagull. That is what I call sneaky.

LITTLE bit late there, dc.
"It'll say life is sacred and so is death
but death is life and so we move on"

ShadowBrain

  • Ridiculously relevant
« Reply #931 on: August 08, 2009, 11:21:22 AM »
I lost... and lost... and lost... and lost again. After a while, it gets to the point where I hit the laughter equivalent of a feeding frenzy and have to stop looking at any posts for awhile before I lose to everything.


A great shirt.

« Last Edit: August 08, 2009, 11:23:32 AM by ShadowBrain »
"Mario is your oyster." ~The Chef

« Reply #932 on: August 08, 2009, 03:42:10 PM »
3 in the bed and the little one said:
"Stop touching me there"
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Isn't it annoying when you accidentally drop something like a bread crumb into your keyboard and you have to get ighhghghghghhghghbhbhghgbhbhbggggggggggggh
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Hey girls. When your boyfriend/husband is begging to **** you up the arse and he says "take it like a man", it means he is gay.
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A man asked an American Indian what was his wife's name.

He replied, "She called Four Horse".

The man said, "That's an unusual name for your wife. What does it mean?"

The Old Indian answered, "It old Indian Name. It mean,

NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG!"
One Ring to rule them all. One Ring to find them. One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.

« Reply #933 on: August 08, 2009, 04:04:10 PM »
Lost to the keyboard one. It's funny 'cuz it's true.

« Last Edit: August 08, 2009, 04:45:48 PM by Weegee »
YYur  waYur n beYur you Yur plusYur instYur an Yur Yur whaYur

Glorb

  • Banned
« Reply #934 on: August 08, 2009, 05:06:16 PM »
Hey girls. When your boyfriend/husband is begging to **** you up the arse and he says "take it like a man", it means he is gay.

I initially read that as "begging you to **** him up the arse" and I was like "wow no [dukar]". It was actually funnier that way.
every

« Reply #935 on: August 09, 2009, 01:08:40 AM »
My job is so ****ing unbelievable. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

First, there is this supermodel wannabe chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but [darn] is she completely useless.
The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on make-up.
She is extremely self-centred and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself.
She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet.
Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10.
I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts.
I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store she moans like a cat in heat.

But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the ****ing stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead.
In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work.
He probably hasn't been sober any time in the last ten years, and he's only 22.
He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big ****ing dog to work.
Every ****ing day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke.
Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing.
Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonald's and Burger King, every single ****ing day.

Anyway, I drive these ****tards around in my van and we solve mysteries and [dukar].
One Ring to rule them all. One Ring to find them. One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.

SolidShroom

  • Poop Man
« Reply #936 on: August 09, 2009, 01:14:15 AM »
Christ man I saw that the other day and died laughing but so many people reposted it that it's no longer one bit funny to me.

« Reply #937 on: August 09, 2009, 01:49:40 AM »
That sucks. Time to look for new material.
One Ring to rule them all. One Ring to find them. One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.

Forest Guy

  • Neoconned
« Reply #938 on: August 09, 2009, 02:10:01 AM »
So a Mexican, a Jew, and a colored person walk into a bar. The bar owner looks up and says "Get the **** out."



(bonus points if you know the source)
= = = = = = =
Sometimes we need to routinely step over the line in order to remind ourselves where the line actually is.

SolidShroom

  • Poop Man
« Reply #939 on: August 09, 2009, 02:49:09 AM »
HAHAHAHAHAHA ANOTHER ****ING MEME

Glorb

  • Banned
« Reply #940 on: August 09, 2009, 05:05:32 AM »
dc actually made me lose. Like, laughing out loud, hands-clapping lose. Thank you, dc.

And yeah, please don't confuse memes for humor.
every

Luigison

  • Old Person™
« Reply #941 on: August 09, 2009, 06:29:56 AM »
That sucks. Time to look for new material.
Or come up with some new material of your own. 
“Evolution has shaped us with perceptions that allow us to survive. But part of that involves hiding from us the stuff we don’t need to know."

Turtlekid1

  • Tortuga
« Reply #942 on: August 09, 2009, 11:01:36 AM »
Or stop posting jokes saturated with profanity.
"It'll say life is sacred and so is death
but death is life and so we move on"

« Reply #943 on: August 09, 2009, 12:01:41 PM »
I don't have a problem with the profanity. The jokes just aren't funny.
Luigison: Question everything!
Me: Why?

« Reply #944 on: August 09, 2009, 12:41:40 PM »
I count seven F-bombs on this page, most of which weren't even absolutely necessary.
YYur  waYur n beYur you Yur plusYur instYur an Yur Yur whaYur

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