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Author Topic: Paraprosdokian  (Read 11212 times)

Luigison

  • Old Person™
« on: November 23, 2011, 05:02:17 PM »
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it." —Groucho Marx
“Evolution has shaped us with perceptions that allow us to survive. But part of that involves hiding from us the stuff we don’t need to know."

The Chef

  • Simon Cowell
« Reply #1 on: November 23, 2011, 07:58:11 PM »
....wha?

Luigison

  • Old Person™
« Reply #2 on: November 23, 2011, 08:06:11 PM »
Paraprosdokian - The term for a figure of speech in which a sentence or phrase has an unexpected or surprising ending. Often used for humourous effect, and thus heavily used by comedians.

Example:  “Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.”
“Evolution has shaped us with perceptions that allow us to survive. But part of that involves hiding from us the stuff we don’t need to know."

« Reply #3 on: November 23, 2011, 08:12:52 PM »
It sounds more like a Greek dish.
YYur  waYur n beYur you Yur plusYur instYur an Yur Yur whaYur

CrossEyed7

  • i can make this whatever i want; you're not my dad
« Reply #4 on: November 23, 2011, 08:45:01 PM »
The horse raced by the barn fell.
"Oh man, I wish being a part of a Mario fan community was the most embarrassing thing about my life." - Super-Jesse

« Reply #5 on: November 23, 2011, 11:01:15 PM »
"Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana." ~Groucho Marx
YYur  waYur n beYur you Yur plusYur instYur an Yur Yur whaYur

« Reply #6 on: November 23, 2011, 11:10:52 PM »
"i



























cant































believe








































:



















it when i











































































looked down






































































that








































































girls
































































































sirt and saw


























































































her







































2's"

~Steven9wii

A

« Reply #7 on: November 23, 2011, 11:27:45 PM »
If you were to line up all the lawyers in the world end-to-end along the equator, we'd all be better off.
"I was going to post and say "I have one of those!" because I recognized the hair immediately, but then the rest of the pic loaded and I nearly spit my drink out."
1-800-COLLECT: SAVE A BUCK OR TWO!!

BP

  • Beside Pacific
« Reply #8 on: November 24, 2011, 04:05:24 AM »
Sticks and stones may break my bones and this garage door is gonna break yours!!!
All your dreeeeeeams begiiin to shatterrrrrr~
It's YOUR problem!

« Reply #9 on: November 24, 2011, 02:45:30 PM »
"They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."~George W. Bush
Luigison: Question everything!
Me: Why?

« Reply #10 on: November 24, 2011, 05:17:17 PM »
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Most rhymes rhyme,
But this one doesn't.
If my son could decimate Lego cities with his genitals, I'd be [darn] proud.

Luigison

  • Old Person™
« Reply #11 on: November 25, 2011, 01:14:18 PM »
Not safe for work/school or anyone who's sense of humor is not equal to or greater than LD's.  You have been warned:  .
“Evolution has shaped us with perceptions that allow us to survive. But part of that involves hiding from us the stuff we don’t need to know."

« Reply #12 on: November 25, 2011, 10:58:39 PM »
:|


"Wherever you go, there you are." - from Austin Powers
Kinopio is the ultimate video game character! Who else can drive a kart, host parties, play tennis, give good advice and items, and is almost always happy??

Luigison

  • Old Person™
« Reply #13 on: November 29, 2011, 04:48:09 PM »
:|


"Wherever you go, there you are." - from Austin Powers
You were warned, although the warning probably diminished the paraprosdokian impact. 

A student of mine had this on her shirt today, "If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong."

"You can always count on Americans to do the right thing — after they've tried everything else."- Winston Churchill
“Evolution has shaped us with perceptions that allow us to survive. But part of that involves hiding from us the stuff we don’t need to know."

« Reply #14 on: December 02, 2011, 08:39:40 PM »

« Reply #15 on: December 03, 2011, 01:17:03 AM »
I like when people post here because then I get to read the steven9wii post again.

EDIT: aaaand I just ruined it :(

Luigison

  • Old Person™
« Reply #16 on: December 03, 2011, 03:45:25 PM »
"i



























cant































believe








































:



















it when i











































































looked down






































































that








































































girls
































































































sirt and saw


























































































her







































2's"

~Steven9wii
If Steven9wii was an astronomer:


« Last Edit: December 03, 2011, 03:53:08 PM by Luigison »
“Evolution has shaped us with perceptions that allow us to survive. But part of that involves hiding from us the stuff we don’t need to know."

BP

  • Beside Pacific
« Reply #17 on: December 03, 2011, 04:24:08 PM »
Is this thread just doomed to be a ***** to scroll through
All your dreeeeeeams begiiin to shatterrrrrr~
It's YOUR problem!

« Reply #18 on: December 03, 2011, 06:57:56 PM »
Pretty much, yeah.

YYur  waYur n beYur you Yur plusYur instYur an Yur Yur whaYur

Luigison

  • Old Person™
« Reply #19 on: December 17, 2011, 12:42:51 PM »
“Evolution has shaped us with perceptions that allow us to survive. But part of that involves hiding from us the stuff we don’t need to know."

Luigison

  • Old Person™
« Reply #20 on: January 04, 2012, 05:56:56 PM »
“Evolution has shaped us with perceptions that allow us to survive. But part of that involves hiding from us the stuff we don’t need to know."

Luigison

  • Old Person™
« Reply #21 on: January 28, 2012, 12:02:56 PM »
You've really got to hand it to short people because they often can't reach it.
“Evolution has shaped us with perceptions that allow us to survive. But part of that involves hiding from us the stuff we don’t need to know."

CrossEyed7

  • i can make this whatever i want; you're not my dad
« Reply #22 on: January 29, 2012, 09:50:06 PM »
"Oh man, I wish being a part of a Mario fan community was the most embarrassing thing about my life." - Super-Jesse

« Reply #23 on: January 30, 2012, 12:21:23 AM »
Laughed at the last couple, had to reread that last one a couple of times.  Not sure if that's really poor or really good journalism.

Related, http://xkcd.com/857
« Last Edit: February 01, 2012, 08:21:11 PM by jdaster64 »
If she is indeed genetically mutated such that she has an eye in the back of her head, then I guess that she is genetically mutated and has an eye in the back of her head.

BriGuy92

  • Luck of the Irish
« Reply #24 on: February 01, 2012, 03:31:39 PM »
Know the most important contribution of the organ Fund science girls type. It's true!

« Reply #25 on: February 27, 2012, 04:32:20 PM »

« Reply #26 on: February 27, 2012, 07:40:55 PM »
The amputee Male Wire Frame near the top-right is hung like a horse.
YYur  waYur n beYur you Yur plusYur instYur an Yur Yur whaYur

Luigison

  • Old Person™
« Reply #27 on: March 25, 2012, 09:39:25 AM »
Sometimes I wish I'd never made this thread, but on the other hand I have different fingers. 
“Evolution has shaped us with perceptions that allow us to survive. But part of that involves hiding from us the stuff we don’t need to know."

Luigison

  • Old Person™
« Reply #28 on: April 09, 2012, 06:48:14 PM »
“Evolution has shaped us with perceptions that allow us to survive. But part of that involves hiding from us the stuff we don’t need to know."

« Reply #29 on: April 08, 2013, 08:27:37 PM »
















BP

  • Beside Pacific
« Reply #30 on: April 08, 2013, 11:38:14 PM »
That was excellent.
All your dreeeeeeams begiiin to shatterrrrrr~
It's YOUR problem!

ShadowBrain

  • Ridiculously relevant
« Reply #31 on: April 09, 2013, 09:10:11 AM »
Oh yeah, I love that comic! I was worried I was going to have to drudge through Chanarchive to get it again...
"Mario is your oyster." ~The Chef

Markio

  • Normal
« Reply #32 on: April 10, 2013, 12:40:07 PM »
If you don't have anything nice to say, then make sure you have something heavy to throw.
"Hello Kitty is cool, but I like Keroppi the best."

Luigison

  • Old Person™
« Reply #33 on: April 13, 2013, 01:15:07 PM »
“Evolution has shaped us with perceptions that allow us to survive. But part of that involves hiding from us the stuff we don’t need to know."

Tavros

  • he was hello
« Reply #34 on: April 30, 2013, 07:56:00 PM »
Roses are red, violets aren't blue, I like food, potato
read jitsu wa watashi wa

« Reply #35 on: May 01, 2013, 08:52:49 PM »

« Reply #36 on: May 01, 2013, 11:38:08 PM »
I PFFFT'd.
YYur  waYur n beYur you Yur plusYur instYur an Yur Yur whaYur

BP

  • Beside Pacific
« Reply #37 on: May 07, 2013, 09:36:15 PM »
All your dreeeeeeams begiiin to shatterrrrrr~
It's YOUR problem!

« Reply #38 on: May 10, 2013, 09:37:21 PM »
Ha! I predicted it! I was thinking they were going to do what birds do on it or drive away.
Kinopio is the ultimate video game character! Who else can drive a kart, host parties, play tennis, give good advice and items, and is almost always happy??

Luigison

  • Old Person™
« Reply #39 on: May 12, 2013, 07:04:43 AM »


I'm not sure if this one counts, but it worked for me. 
“Evolution has shaped us with perceptions that allow us to survive. But part of that involves hiding from us the stuff we don’t need to know."

BP

  • Beside Pacific
« Reply #40 on: June 01, 2013, 10:51:20 PM »
All your dreeeeeeams begiiin to shatterrrrrr~
It's YOUR problem!

« Reply #41 on: June 01, 2013, 11:13:16 PM »

Now with grandeur.

CrossEyed7

  • i can make this whatever i want; you're not my dad
« Reply #42 on: June 07, 2013, 06:58:14 PM »
"Oh man, I wish being a part of a Mario fan community was the most embarrassing thing about my life." - Super-Jesse

BP

  • Beside Pacific
« Reply #43 on: June 15, 2013, 01:10:17 AM »
All your dreeeeeeams begiiin to shatterrrrrr~
It's YOUR problem!

« Reply #44 on: June 15, 2013, 10:20:40 AM »
BP's cheating! He drew that comic!


Nah, I kid. That is pretty funny.
Kinopio is the ultimate video game character! Who else can drive a kart, host parties, play tennis, give good advice and items, and is almost always happy??

BP

  • Beside Pacific
« Reply #45 on: June 25, 2013, 02:40:07 AM »
All your dreeeeeeams begiiin to shatterrrrrr~
It's YOUR problem!

« Reply #46 on: June 25, 2013, 05:18:13 AM »

« Reply #47 on: June 25, 2013, 08:17:54 AM »


I thought paraprosdokian wasn't supposed to be obvious.
Now with grandeur.

Turtlekid1

  • Tortuga
« Reply #48 on: June 25, 2013, 08:38:53 AM »

I think we should have more of this GIF on the page so I'm going to quote it again.
"It'll say life is sacred and so is death
but death is life and so we move on"

BP

  • Beside Pacific
« Reply #49 on: June 25, 2013, 11:07:02 AM »
All your dreeeeeeams begiiin to shatterrrrrr~
It's YOUR problem!

« Reply #50 on: June 25, 2013, 11:33:17 AM »


I like the way Rafiki's arms keep moving back into a downward position after the throw. So realisitic! XD
Kinopio is the ultimate video game character! Who else can drive a kart, host parties, play tennis, give good advice and items, and is almost always happy??

« Reply #51 on: June 25, 2013, 12:29:47 PM »


He's like, "Here, taste some of what your father will trying to protect your helpless ass!"
Luigison: Question everything!
Me: Why?

« Reply #52 on: June 25, 2013, 04:37:45 PM »
YYur  waYur n beYur you Yur plusYur instYur an Yur Yur whaYur

« Reply #53 on: June 25, 2013, 04:59:22 PM »
Now with grandeur.

BP

  • Beside Pacific
« Reply #54 on: June 25, 2013, 06:05:45 PM »
All your dreeeeeeams begiiin to shatterrrrrr~
It's YOUR problem!

BriGuy92

  • Luck of the Irish
« Reply #55 on: June 25, 2013, 06:12:17 PM »
Know the most important contribution of the organ Fund science girls type. It's true!

Luigison

  • Old Person™
« Reply #56 on: June 25, 2013, 06:25:55 PM »

I don't get it.  Maybe I should give it three more posts to sink in...
“Evolution has shaped us with perceptions that allow us to survive. But part of that involves hiding from us the stuff we don’t need to know."

« Reply #57 on: June 25, 2013, 09:20:52 PM »

If anyone pulls a combo breaker now, I will kill them.

BP

  • Beside Pacific
« Reply #58 on: June 25, 2013, 09:21:46 PM »


My execution is postponed another day :>
All your dreeeeeeams begiiin to shatterrrrrr~
It's YOUR problem!

« Reply #59 on: June 25, 2013, 09:24:31 PM »


I feel like I'm watching those news screens in the back of the newscasters where they show stuff.
Now with grandeur.

BP

  • Beside Pacific
« Reply #60 on: June 25, 2013, 09:30:17 PM »
All your dreeeeeeams begiiin to shatterrrrrr~
It's YOUR problem!

« Reply #61 on: June 25, 2013, 09:40:09 PM »
I hope that thing isn't what I thought it was.
Now with grandeur.

The Chef

  • Simon Cowell
« Reply #62 on: June 25, 2013, 10:32:01 PM »
It totally is.

Luigison

  • Old Person™
« Reply #63 on: June 27, 2013, 10:59:59 AM »
“Evolution has shaped us with perceptions that allow us to survive. But part of that involves hiding from us the stuff we don’t need to know."

BP

  • Beside Pacific
« Reply #64 on: August 17, 2013, 03:29:54 AM »
CommodoreJim Quit: I can never stop exploding
<+WarpRattler> When he gets back on, I need to tell him to get good at Skullgirls so he can body that <censored> free.
<+WarpRattler> Also because, y'know, I bought him the game.
<%Skeleton> You can lead a horse to water, but he's not a horse.
<%Skeleton> Heh that's one of those paraprosdokians
<%Skeleton> I'm gonna post it right this instant.
All your dreeeeeeams begiiin to shatterrrrrr~
It's YOUR problem!

Luigison

  • Old Person™
« Reply #65 on: December 16, 2013, 04:56:11 PM »
My daughter woke me around 11:50 last night. My wife and I had picked her up from her friend Sally's birthday party, brought her home, and put her to bed. My wife went into the bedroom to read while I fell asleep watching the Braves game.

"Daddy," she whispered, tugging my shirt sleeve. "Guess how old I'm going to be next month."

"I don't know, beauty," I said as I slipped on my glasses. "How old?"

She smiled and held up four fingers.

It is 7:30 now. My wife and I have been up with her for almost 8 hours. She still refuses to tell us where she got them.
“Evolution has shaped us with perceptions that allow us to survive. But part of that involves hiding from us the stuff we don’t need to know."

« Reply #66 on: December 17, 2013, 06:16:37 AM »
Nice.
If you were expecting something meta, here it is: Just look up the rickroll address and take it. Save me the trouble.
And since I'm so behind the times that rickroll is so outdated, just take the newest fad and take it.

Either way.....you're wrong.
« Last Edit: December 17, 2013, 06:23:55 AM by CashCrazed »
"I'm a stupid fatty and I like to play with my Easy Bake oven." - frostbite

Luigison

  • Old Person™
« Reply #67 on: April 20, 2014, 06:53:38 PM »
My brother took being sent to jail really badly.

He refused all offers of food and drink, spat and swore at anyone who came near him, and smeared the walls with his own feces. 

After that we never played Monopoly again. 
“Evolution has shaped us with perceptions that allow us to survive. But part of that involves hiding from us the stuff we don’t need to know."

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