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Author Topic: CE7 Writes!  (Read 2135 times)

CrossEyed7

  • i can make this whatever i want; you're not my dad
« on: March 02, 2014, 11:17:12 PM »
So I'm going through the hard drive of my broken laptop, and I found this thing that I wrote in 2011, and I thought it was actually kinda good and wanted to put it somewhere. And maybe I'll post some more old stuff I've written and maybe this could get me to get off my butt and write some new stuff (that's figurative getting off my butt, as I would actually literally be sitting on my butt for most of the writing; it's a literary device). So anyway here's a thing:




October 3

For the second time I can remember, a customer, a woman, around 40 years old, came in to return pants that her husband would no longer be needing, because he had died. This one's name was Bette.

The pants were bought back in February. Her husband passed in July (she used “deceased,” the most formal, clinical, detached word she could come up with), and the pants were being returned on the third day of October. All the tags still on.

After asking for a driver's license (the official 90 day return limit had long been surpassed), the register was going to put the $44 back onto the card that was used.

“Which card was that on?”

I look back at the original receipt. A Visa, ending 0729.

“...Oh. That's my mother-in-law's Visa.”

Is that all right, or...

“I'd rather have a gift card, to tell you the truth.” We can do that.

Silence.

“She'd just give it back to me anyway. Save her the trouble.” I nod.

Silence.

Here you go. This gift card is good at Sears, Kmart, and Lands' End, in-store and online, no fees, no expiration dates, unless we go bankrupt again.

“Do I need to keep these receipts?”

Legally, we have to give them back to you, just for your records. But you can throw them out if you want.

She laughs. It sounds like a cry, but she is smiling, and... really, don't all laughs sound like crying anyway.

I want to say something. I want to help. I want to heal. I want to resurrect. I want to hug. But maybe this is just a time when I shouldn't be starting so many sentences with I.

She leaves, and I'm left with my thoughts. I look back at the loosely-folded pants. The tag has a picture of a young girl with flowers in her hair, with the caption “For The Future.” It's about Repreve™, the 100% recycled yarn used to make them.

A few minutes after she's left, the register tardily prints out coupons, meant for her. $15 off men's apparel, 10% off fine jewelry. I've always known these registers were sentient, but I didn't know they could be that cruel.

After a ten-minute-long hour, another customer comes to the counter. Her hair is white. She is returning a pair of her husband's pants because he wants a smaller size.

Life is short. But it's supposed to be longer.
"Oh man, I wish being a part of a Mario fan community was the most embarrassing thing about my life." - Super-Jesse

Koopaslaya

  • Kansas
« Reply #1 on: March 04, 2014, 08:12:53 AM »
I like your use of the present tense. I believe that this could be a scene in a larger work (maybe even of fiction). Well done!
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« Reply #2 on: December 25, 2017, 03:26:38 AM »
It is a good thing and must be told.

« Reply #3 on: December 26, 2017, 11:39:41 AM »
MOST PROFOUND NEW MEMBER 2017
YYur  waYur n beYur you Yur plusYur instYur an Yur Yur whaYur

« Reply #4 on: March 15, 2018, 04:33:08 PM »
I got one similar. Not mine.

Bowser impostor in 5-4; Japanese god in real life!

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