I've already done a Nintendo-ized parody of "Monty Python and the Holy Grail", and sometimes I have intentions of doing a multi-part fanfic where Nintendo characters act out sketches from "Monty Python's Flying Circus". I don't know whether or not I should make this fanfic, but here's an example of what I think it'd be like. This is a Nintendo parody of one of my favorite Python sketches, "Secret Service Dentists", which is featured in the episode "Owl-Stretching Time".
Scene: A bookshop. Wario is standing behind the counter. Mario enters the shot and goes up to the counter. Wario jumps and looks around furtively.
WARIO: Er... oh!
MARIO: Good morning, I'd-a-like to buy a book please.
WARIO: Oh, well, I'm afraid we don't have any.
MARIO: I'm-a-sorry?
WARIO: We don't have any books. We're-a-fresh out of them. Good morning.
MARIO: What are all these? (indicates the books)
WARIO: All what? Oh! All-a-these, ah ah ha ha. You're-a-referring to these... books.
MARIO: Yes.
WARIO: They're um... they're all-a-sold. Good morning.
MARIO: What, all of them?
WARIO: Every single man-Jack of them. Not a single one of 'em in an unsold state. Good morning.
MARIO: Who to?
WARIO: What?
MARIO: Who are they sold to?
WARIO: Oh... various... Good Lord, is that the time-a? Oh my goodness I must close for lunch.
MARIO: It's only half past ten.
WARIO: Ah yes, well I feel rather peckish, very peckish actually, I don't expect I'll open again today. I think I'll have a really good feed. I say! Look at that lovely bookshop just across the road there, they've got a much better selection than we've got, probably at ridiculously low prices, just across the road there. (he has the door open) Good morning.
MARIO: But I was told to come here.
WARIO: (bundling him back in) Well. Well, I see. (very carefully) I hear the chuckberries are doing well this year, and so are the pineapples. (winks)
MARIO: I'm sorry?
WARIO: Er... oh... I was just saying, thinking of the weather. I hear the chuckberries are doing well this year... and so are the pineapples.
MARIO: Mine aren't.
WARIO: (nodding keenly, with anticipation) Go on.
MARIO: What?
WARIO: Go on - mine aren't, but...
MARIO: What?
WARIO: Aren't you going to say something about "mine aren't but The Boss gets his at low tide tonight"?
MARIO: No.
WARIO: Oh, ah, good morning! (starts to bundle him out then stops) Wait. Who sent you?
MARIO: The little old lady in the sweet shop.
WARIO: She didn't have a duelling scar just here, and a hook?
MARIO: No.
WARIO: Of course not, I was thinking of somebody else. Good morning.
MARIO: Wait a minute, there's something going on here.
WARIO: (spinning round.) What, where? You didn't see anything did you?
MARIO: No, but I think there's something going on here.
WARIO: No no, well there's nothing going on here at all (shouts off) and you didn't see anything. Good morning.
MARIO: (coming back into shop) There is something going on.
WARIO: Look there is nothing going on. Please believe me, there is abso...
A hand comes into view behind Mario's back. Wario frantically waves at it to disappear. It does so.
WARIO: ...lutely nothing going on. Is there anything going on?
Waluigi appears, fleetingly.
WALUIGI: No, there's-a-nothing going on.
He disappears.
WARIO: See? There's nothing going on.
MARIO: Who was that?
WARIO: That was my aunt. Look, what was this book you wanted then? Quickly! Quickly!
MARIO: Oh, well, I'd-a-like to buy a copy of "An Illustrated History of Megavitamins".
WARIO: My God, you've got-a-guts.
MARIO: What?
WARIO: (pulls out a Fire Flower) Just how much do you know?
MARIO: What about?
WARIO: Are you from the Mushroom Kingdom Hospital?
MARIO: No, I'm a plumber.
WARIO: Get away from that door.
MARIO: I'll-a-just go over the other...
WARIO: Stay where you are. You'll-a-never leave this bookshop alive.
MARIO: Why not?
WARIO: You know too much, my medical friend.
MARIO: I don't-a-know anything.
WARIO: Come clean. You're a doctor, aren't you?
MARIO: No, I'm a plumber.
WARIO: A plumber who just-a-happens to be buying a book on vitamins?
MARIO: Yes.
WARIO: Ha ha ha ha!
Gary Oak enters with a Zapper Light Gun.
GARY: Drop that Fire Flower, Wario!
WARIO: Gary! (drops the Fire Flower)
MARIO: There is something going on.
WARIO: No there isn't.
GARY: OK Wario, this is it. Where's Bowser hidden the fillings?
WARIO: What-a-fillings?
GARY: You know which fillings, Wario! Upper right two and four, lower right three and two lower left one. Come on. (threatens with the gun) Remember what happened to Foreman Spike.
MARIO: What happened to Foreman Spike?
WARIO: Dario gave him a gelignite mouth wash.
MARIO: I knew there was-a-something going on.
WARIO: Well there isn't.
GARY: Come on Wario! The fillings!
WARIO: They're at-a-22 Wimpole Street.
GARY: Don't play games with me! (pokes Wario's nose with the gun)
WARIO: Ow-a!! 22a Wimpole Street.
GARY: That's better.
WARIO: But you'll-a-need an appointment.
GARY: OK. (shouting out of shop) Kamen! Make with the appointment, baby. No gas.
Waluigi appears with a machine gun and a Nurse Joy.
WALUIGI: Ah, not-a-so fast, Gary!
GARY: Waluigi!
WALUIGI: Yes. Now-a-drop the Zapper.
MARIO: There is something going on.
WARIO: No there isn't.
WALUIGI: Joy, get the guns.
MARIO: Who's that?
WARIO: That's Waluigi. He's on our side.
WALUIGI: All right, get up against the wall, Gary! And you too, Wario.
WARIO: Me?
WALUIGI: Yes, you!
WARIO: You dirty double-crossing rat!
MARIO: (going with Wario) What's happened?
WARIO: He's-a-two-timed me.
MARIO: Bad luck.
WALUIGI: (to Gary) All right, where are-a-the fillings? Answer me, where are they?!
MARIO: This is quite exciting.
Kamen enters, carrying a Super Scope.
KAMEN: Not so fast.
ALL: Kamen!
MARIO: Ooh, what's that?
OTHERS: It's a Super Scope.
KAMEN: All right. Get against the wall Waluigi, and you too, Nurse Joy. And the first one to try anything moves to a practice six feet underground. This is an anti-tank gun, and it's loaded. And you've just got five seconds to tell me... whatever happened to the Koopalings?
ALL: What?
KAMEN: Oh... I'm sorry... my mind was wandering... I've had a terrible day... I really have... you've got five seconds to tell me... I've forgotten. I've forgotten.
WARIO: Eh, the five seconds haven't-a-started yet, have they?
WALUIGI: Only we don't-a-know the question.
MARIO: Was it about-a-Viruses?
KAMEN: No no no... you've got five seconds to tell me...
WALUIGI: About-a-Foreman Spike?
KAMEN: No. No.
GARY: Captain Syrup?
KAMEN: No. No.
WARIO: The fillings-a!
KAMEN: Oh yes, the fillings, of course. How stupid of me. Right, you've got five seconds. (clears throat) Where are the fillings? Five... four... three... two... one... Zero!
There is a long pause. Kamen has forgotten to fire the Super Scope, but he can't put his finger on what has gone wrong.
KAMEN: I said, zero! (looks at Super Scope) Oh! I've forgotten to fire it. Sorry. Silly day. Very well. (quite rapidly) Five... four... three... two... one...
A panel slides back and Giovanni appears, seated in his chair, stroking Persian.
GIOVANNI: Drop the Super Scope, Kamen.
ALL: The Boss!
Kamen drops the Super Scope.
GIOVANNI: I'm glad you could all come to my little party. And Mr. Fluffy's glad too. Aren't you, Mr. Fluffy? (he holds Persian up as it does not reply) Aren't you, Mr. Fluffy?
No reply again. Giovanni sees he's been patting a plastic Persian, so he pulls a big revolver out and fires at it from point-blank range.
GIOVANNI: That'll teach you to play hard to get. There, poor Mr. Fluffy's dead. And never called me papa. And soon you will all be dead, dead, dead, dead. And because I'm so evil, you will all die the slow way... under the drill.
MARIO: It's-a-one o'clock.
GIOVANNI: So it is. Lunch break everyone, back here at two.
They all happily relax and walk off. Mario surreptitiously goes to telephone and, making sure nobody is looking, calls.
MARIO: Hello... get me the Mushroom Kingdom Hospital... and-a-fast.
Cut to Mario, dressed in doctor form, giving medical treatment to a Toad.
MARIO: (to readers) You see, I knew there was-a-something going on. Of course, The Boss made-a-two mistakes. First of all-a, he didn't-a-recognize me: Mario; Dr. Mario Mario, special investigator, Mushroom Kingdom Hospital. And second... (to a Toad) say "ah"... (to readers) By the time I got-a-back from lunch, I had every doctor in Toad Town waiting for them all in the broom closet. Funny, isn't it, how evil dictators always make that one fatal mistake. Bye for now. Eat healthy and take lots of vitamins.
SINGERS:
Mario,
Mario,
Mario of the MKH.
Mario,
Mario,
Mario of the MK,
Mario of the MK,
MK,
MKH!
VOICE OVER: It's a plumber's life in the Mushroom Kingdom Hospital.
Super Mario Bros. are cool like sunglasses!
Edited by - Nintendo Maximus on 2/22/2003 11:14:13 AM
